by Callie Rae
When Shadows Fall
Cherry Creek Book 3
Callie Rae
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Epilogue
Also by Callie Rae
About the Author
When Shadows Fall
Cherry Creek Series
By Callie Rae
Copyright © 2021 by Callie Rae
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Visit my website at http://www.authorcallierae.com
Cover Design by Callie Rae at Literary Designs.
Editing by Rebecca Kimmel at The Writing Refinery
Proofread by Brittany Balazs at Book Nook and Carmen Richter at CPR Editing
Formatting by Carmen Richter at CPR Editing
Created with Vellum
“Isn’t it lovely, all alone
Heart made of glass, my mind of stone
Tear me to pieces, skin to bone
Hello, welcome home”
– Billie Eilish
Prologue
Fallon
I expected to hurt more. The last thing I remember is being in the car with Marcus, barreling toward a utility pole.
It wouldn’t hurt if I’m dead, right? I must be dead.
“Momma?” A small, tiny voice interrupts my thoughts. “Momma ‘wake?”
I roll over toward the voice and open my eyes. The light stings them at first, but when my vision clears, I see a small child, maybe three years old, standing in front of me. Seeing her straight, light brown hair and her cute button nose is almost like looking in a mirror.
My heart begins racing. I must be dead. This isn’t possible.
I suck in a tight breath before I can bring myself to speak her name. “Luna?”
“Me Luna.” She points to herself, then to me. “You Momma.”
The tears start flowing down my heated cheeks before she finishes her words.
“This is impossible,” I whisper.
“No cry, Momma. Luna here.” She places her little hand on my cheek.
I grab onto it and hold on tightly as I close my eyes. I just want to breathe this in. Breathe her in. I never imagined this would be possible. I thought she was forever gone from my world.
“Momma sleeping,” Luna says.
I open my eyes to find her big brown eyes staring back at me. The look in them is pure determination.
“Yes, Momma was sleeping,” I say.
“No, Momma sleeping,” Luna says again, this time much more seriously. “Momma, wake up.”
“I’m awake, baby. I’m here,” I tell her.
“Jesse need Momma,” Luna says.
Hearing Jesse’s name makes my heart wrench open. Oh, Jesse…
I close my eyes again to fight through the ache coursing through me. My body misses Jesse before my brain can comprehend that I might not ever see him again.
“Luna like Jesse,” Luna says.
I open my eyes and watch her as she smiles at me. “You like Jesse?”
She nods her head vigorously. “Jesse nice.”
I chuckle through my tears. “Yes, Jesse is nice.”
“Cason sad,” Luna says, this time her own expression just as sad as Cason’s when he thinks no one is watching.
“Yes, Cason is sad.” I sit up and reach over to pull her into my lap. I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her head. I hold her so tightly I’m nearly crushing her, and it still doesn’t feel close enough.
“Momma fix,” she says.
“Momma can’t fix, baby,” I tell her.
“Momma, wake up. Momma fix,” she says again.
I tighten my arms around her.
“Momma fix,” I sigh.
I can’t fix it. I don’t want to tell her that I can’t fix it because being here with her means I’m not there with them anymore.
“Momma loves you.” I nuzzle her hair, the soft strands tickling my cheek.
The tears are still streaming down my face as I breathe in her scent. I’ve longed for this; I’ve longed to hold my baby girl in my arms. I just didn’t want it to be this way. I wanted it to be in a world full of love and happiness, one where evil people don’t exist.
“Love you. But Momma wake.” She turns around and places a hand on each side of my face, pulling me down to look at her. “Momma, wake up. Momma fix.”
I nod in agreement, despite knowing I won’t wake up.
“No, Momma wake up.” She is insistent.
“I’m awake,” I say to her.
“Fallon, wake up.”
“Fallon?” I ask in confusion. “Momma.”
“Fallon, wake up. Please wake up.”
It’s clearly Luna sitting in my lap, but the voice speaking to me is deep. Pleading.
“Fallon, I need you.”
This time I recognize the voice: it’s Jesse’s voice. I could never forget it.
“Jesse?” Confused, I stare at my beautiful child…who seems to be fading away. I start to shake my head. “No. No, wait. No!”
I scream as Luna slowly disappears, and everything turns dark.
“No, wait. I’m not ready! No!”
A beeping noise off in the distance grows louder and louder.
I feel my way around in the dark. “No. No, come back. Come back.”
The tears come harder.
“Fallon! Fallon, it’s okay. It’s me. It’s Jesse.” Jesse’s voice comes in loud and clear.
A sharp pain slices through my head as I fight my way back to Luna.
I slowly peel my eyes open, and Jesse’s grim face is the first thing I see as he leans over me, holding onto my arms.
“No, No. I need to go back. Take me back.”
“Fallon, it’s okay. You’re okay. It’s okay.” He sinks his weight on my chest and cages my face in his hands.
“Look at me. You’re okay. I’m here,” he says.
I shake my head, unable to control a single tear. “But she’s not.”
Chapter 1
Jesse
Seeing Fallon open her eyes fills my chest with a sense of relief so intense I can’t even begin to explain it.
I thought I’d lost her. I watched as her lifeless
body sagged in my arms. I began CPR, but I thought she was gone. Just…gone. She was not there anymore, like she’d never existed before that moment. Like she hadn’t come into my world like a hurricane, ready to upend everything I thought I knew. Like her life, my life, meant nothing to this world. Our fight, just a tiny blip on a cosmic radar. I couldn’t stand it.
When the paramedics arrived and took her from me, I felt nothing but emptiness at the possibility she might be gone, because my life would be completely empty without her in it. Without her storm to keep me calm. Without her smile to keep me warm. Without her presence to keep me steady.
But maybe, just maybe, somewhere in her, she felt it too—what that emptiness felt like.
The doctor came out to speak with Fallon’s family while the officers were in the ER waiting room taking my statement. He told us that she was stable, but that she had some substantial injuries. The police overheard the doctor’s report and told us they weren’t sure how she survived with only the injuries she had.
The truck slammed into the pole perfectly centered; it didn’t hit Marcus’s side or Fallon’s side, but right in the middle. Like someone aimed for the pole. Like it was purposeful. It crushed the center of the cab until it wrapped around the pole like a blanket.
The police are theorizing that Marcus lost control of the car. They’re calling it an accident; they won’t investigate any further than that. It didn’t take much convincing. I made sure of it. Marcus is a charred corpse now, and a dead man can’t whisper from his grave. If anyone asks who I’m protecting, the answer is I don’t know.
But I know it wasn’t an accident. What I don’t know is who tried to kill who. Marcus wrecking the truck on purpose makes too much sense. And nothing Marcus did ever made sense. But thinking that she would be willing to leave us, to abandon us to end this…I don’t know what hurts worse: her willingness to sacrifice herself to protect those she loved or her willingness to leave us living without her.
She didn’t leave us, though.
She’s here with her eyes finally fluttering open. I’ve begged her for this moment. I’ve begged for her to wake up. I’ve begged her to come back to me. I’ve begged her not to leave me alone in this fucked-up palace we call life.
Even after her surgery, when the doctor told us she was stable, I stayed next to her, afraid if I didn’t stay, she wouldn’t either. The nurses fought with me to leave, but I wouldn’t. I don’t know if my siblings paid them off or if they just pitied me, but eventually, they stopped fighting me on it. They just looked at me with sad eyes.
I stare down at her as she blinks hard, adjusting her haunted gaze. Her terror sits right at the surface, like she’s still back in that nightmare.
“Jesse?”
I nod in response, confused by the grief in her voice
She cries out the moment her eyes reach mine. It’s the sound of pure agony, like her soul is being ripped out.
“No. No, wait. No!” Her voice is scratchy, but loud enough to fill the space of the room with echoes.
She begins thrashing, and I grab her arms, holding her still as best I can. With all the wires and tubes they have hooked up, she’ll tear something if she continues.
“No, wait. I’m not ready! No!”
She tosses her body side-to-side. Even with my grip on her arms, I'm unable to keep her still.
“No! No, come back! Come back…”
It's then that I notice the tears falling from her eyes. I don't know what to do. I scream for a nurse, but the door is closed. I don’t know if anyone can hear me, but I try anyway. Using my body like a weighted blanket, I press as little weight as possible on her and hope I’m not causing any more damage. I manage to reach down for the remote to press the nurse call button several times and pray they get here fast.
“Fallon! Fallon, it’s okay. It’s me. It’s Jesse.” I keep my voice level while trying to calm her down.
Instead, it has the opposite effect. She winces at my voice and the tears begin falling faster down her face.
“No, No. I need to go back. Take me back!” she yells.
Her body starts slowing down and I'm able to get a better grip and hold on to her. I can see her energy draining. Once again, relief washes over me as the thrashing becomes less intense.
“Fallon, it’s okay. You’re okay. It’s okay,” I tell her in a calm voice. “Look at me. You’re okay. I’m here.”
Her pupils aren't as dilated as they were when she first opened her eyes. She fixes her stare on my face, and I finally feel like she's seeing me instead of whatever hell she’s coming from. The clouds are fading, and the storm is calming.
She stills as she holds my gaze and whimpers. “But she’s not.”
I let her go, feeling like she just burned my skin with her words, and her head falls to the side. A desolate look appears across her features, and I back away. I hit the wall just as the door opens and a nurse comes rushing in.
The nurse checks Fallon's vitals and asks her a series of questions that Fallon doesn't acknowledge. It’s like she’s given up—like she didn’t want to wake up. Her unblinking stare brings back the panic I’d felt before her eyes opened. I’d imagined her opening her eyes and coming back to me like she was before Marcus.
I never considered what she might be like when she opened her eyes after Marcus. I guess I assumed she would be the same Fallon she’d always been. I realize in this moment it was stupid of me; my Fallon hadn't been through everything this version of herself has.
My Fallon doesn’t exist anymore.
I felt the raw pain I saw in her eyes just now. I felt the agony she was feeling. I could read it perfectly on her face. Wherever she was coming from, whoever she wanted to go back to, it was tearing her apart. She was in pieces. She was broken.
I step out of the room while the nurse continues her assessment. The doctor passes me on his way in as I cross the hall to the empty wall across from her room. I place my hands against it and lower my head until I can feel the chill from the cement block wall seeping into the skin on my forehead. I wrench my eyes shut and listen to my erratic heartbeat. It always beats this way for her, but this time it wasn’t from what one look does to my insides or the way her touch can make me lose control.
It was beating from the unknown, the fear, the darkness.
Breathe.
I wasn't expecting this. I wasn't expecting her to react to me this way. And it slashed through me. I don't know how to handle this rollercoaster of emotions. I’ve never not had control of myself. I don't know how to stand here and do nothing and not fix her or us. I need to be able to do something, anything, to fix this. To make her better, make her whole. I slam my fist into the wall and grind my teeth until my jaw aches.
"Jesse? Are you ok? Is everything ok?" Darla's voice reaches my ears with an urgency you’d only hear from a mother just as I’m preparing for another onslaught against the wall.
I glance up at Fallon's mother, and whatever she sees in my face causes her to panic. We’ve all been terrified for the last week, and it shows. It has slowly torn us all to shreds.
"What happened, Jesse? Is she okay?" Her voice almost breaks, and her body begins moving toward the door before she can finish her sentence.
I push off the wall to wedge myself between her and the door before she can grab the handle.
"Wait, wait. I'm sorry, I just—” I clear my throat, trying to find my words. “She's awake."
This grabs Darla’s attention, and she stills in my hands, looking up at me. "Sh-she's a-w-wake?"
I nod as I take a step back and look down towards the white Keds I’ve seen her wear a million times before. I’m in uncharted territory. I don’t have the right words to say to her. I don't really know anything yet. I repeat myself and give her the facts.
"She's awake, and the doctor is in there right now."
"But?" she asks me, her voice falling to a whisper.
I wish I had better control of my emotions. I wish I could hide what I
was fighting on the inside.
I look back up into her eyes. "But I'm not so sure she wants to be awake."
Darla sags in my hold. I can see her mind reeling as she absorbs my words. I can see the fear, the guilt. I can see the exhaustion. After only a moment, she straightens, and the determination reappears in her eyes. It’s the kind of focus most moms have when they are trying to be strong for their children, the sort of steadiness that has helped keep me sane for the last few days. It’s the sort of focus every kid deserves from a parent. It’s the part of her that would never give up on her child—that would never stop fighting for her.
"My daughter is strong, and you…you are her lifeline. She might just need a minute to remember that." She pats my shoulder.
I nod to her again, swallowing the lump that has been lodged in my throat since the accident. Since Fallon disappeared. Hell, since she appeared.
Darla gives me one more pat before she turns and walks through the door to greet the doctor. I stay in the hallway.
I feel weak in this moment. I feel helpless. A part of me knows I can’t walk back into that room and not be what she needs. I need to be strong. But I’m not sure I even know what that means anymore. Every time I try to protect her, I fail.
They look at me as her lifeline, but I look at her as the only reason I can still breathe.
Chapter 2
Jesse
The doctor prescribed Fallon something to keep her calm. Her heart rate was too high for his liking, and she has had several outbursts. He said this is normal when patients wake up after a trauma as intense as we suspect it to be, but her body still needs rest to heal. Really, it's only normal to him; the rest of us don't have a fucking clue what's “normal.”