by Callie Rae
“Yeah, I know… Shit, I’ve gotta go. She’s about to roll over the therapist.” Cason drops the call, leaving me hanging.
I tighten my hand on the phone as I pull it away from my face.
I look at my reflection in the mirror. I don’t recognize the dude staring back at me in his dress clothes and tie. He’s aged, he’s tired, and he looks…broken.
A year ago, I was at the top of my game. I had everything and anything I wanted. But in some ways, I had nothing. Now I really do have it all: the girl and the family. Unfortunately, I also have this shitty-ass situation with my father. I thought I was stronger than this; I thought I could handle anything thrown at me.
I grip the counter and look down at my feet. I can’t help Fallon. I don’t know how to. But at least I can keep her safe—that’s what I do know how to do. At least, I thought I did until Marcus came around. Hell, I really fucked that up.
James will never stop going after her until he has me. She’s the best thing to happen to me, which makes her my greatest weakness. And he knows it. He won’t hesitate to use that for his gain. He won’t hesitate to hurt anyone in his way. That’s who he is: a power-hungry, money-hungry narcissist.
I stand straighter, fix my tie, and get ready for this business meeting. I’ll walk in with a smile on my face to greet the investors, whether I fucking like it or not. I have to do this.
Because I can’t fail her again.
FALLON
Therapy is intense in a way I wasn’t prepared for. The doctor said my coordination could be off due to some trauma to my brain after the impact of the vehicle, and I’ve been in a bed for a few weeks now. I have a rod in my leg and a few screws in my ankle that hurt like hell. It’s a daily reminder of all the shit I so desperately want to forget.
What everyone failed to mention was that I was going to have to learn how to fucking walk again and that it would be monumentally hard. And painful. Or that I would barely be able to push myself down the hallway in my wheelchair, which is exactly what my therapist wanted me to practice today. I couldn’t do it, and no matter how many times I said I couldn’t do it, they wouldn’t stop. They wouldn’t stop pushing me, telling me to try again.
I don’t want to try again, and I don’t want them to push me. I want them to leave me the hell alone. I want to get back in my bed and stay there.
And it’s pissing me off. Man, is it pissing me off.
Cason pops up out of nowhere just as I start contemplating the best way to take out the therapist. If she tells me to try again, even one more damn time…
“What’s going on here?” Cason’s voice booms out the question as soon as he sees my face.
“I’m done. I want to go back to my room,” I say, glancing toward the ground.
“Okay, I’ll take you back.” He nods his head and looks to the therapist. “We good here?”
“Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow Fallon,” the therapist says with a small, tight smile. “We can try again then.”
“Or not,” I mutter.
Cason rounds to the back of my chair and begins pushing me down the hallway.
He doesn’t say anything at first, but then asks, “Are you going to tell me what that was about?”
I sigh. I don’t want to talk about it, so I don’t. I don’t want to talk about anything.
“Fallon, It’s your first day in therapy. It’s supposed to be hard.” He turns the corner, and my room comes into view. “You can just try again tomorrow.”
And I’ve now had enough. I grab the wheels of my chair to stop and maneuver around to face him.
“I don’t want to try again tomorrow. Why doesn’t anyone understand that? I don’t want to do any of this! It’s you, it’s Jesse, it’s my mom. All of you want me to try again tomorrow. That fucking therapist, too. When all I really want is for you all to leave me the fuck alone! Why won’t you leave me alone?”
Cason ignores my screaming. He marches behind me to grab the handles on my wheelchair and rolls me into my room, parking me smack dab in the middle of it, facing my bed. I think I feel a slight wetness on my face, but I don’t care. I. Don’t. Care. That’s my whole fucking point.
He all but stomps around in front of me and squats down, getting eye-level for the second time today. “Someone once told me that sometimes special people can ease the pain. That girl was not only smart, but she eased the pain for so many people just by being there. It would be a damn shame if she couldn’t find her way back.”
He then stands without waiting for a response and walks to the door.
“Cason, where are you going? I need help getting in the bed,” I yell after him, but it doesn’t stop him from yanking the door open. “Cason!”
He turns around in the doorframe and stares at me with one snarky eyebrow raised. “Hey, Fallon? That feeling you have right now? It’s called anger. Dead people don’t get angry. They don’t feel anything.”
And then he shuts the door.
“Cason! Come back!” I scream. “I can’t get up on my own, you asshole. Come back!”
He doesn’t. He won’t. I know it, and he knows it. The entire world should know that once Cason gets an idea in his head, he runs with it.
I try to push the wheels, but the shithead locked them in place. He knew what he was doing.
The remote with the nurse call button is sitting on the bed. I can see the red button glaring at me from here. That fucker literally left me stuck in this chair.
The nurses come in every few hours to check my vitals. Fine. Fuck it. I can sit here and wait until then.
I was wrong. Cason is smarter than I gave him credit for. Not a single person has come in to check on me. I’m not even sure that is legal in a hospital, but leave it to Cason to persuade the nurses to stay out. He is a Callaway, after all.
I’ve got to pee, and my ass hurts. I need out of this chair—big, bright yellow sign that says “Call Before You Fall” be damned. Fortunately for me, the end frame of the bed is within reach, so I grab onto it and hold on for dear life. I slowly scoot my butt toward the front of the chair.
I squeeze my eyes shut—to be able to think better, maybe? I don’t know. I suck in a deep breath and try to calm my nerves. Then I push. I push up onto my good leg, placing all the weight there and hoping it holds.
It does at first, and I am able to take a small hop toward the bed…but then I lose my balance. I feel my back smash against the cold floor, leaving me breathless. Pain shoots through my abdomen and down my leg as I lie on the floor staring at the ceiling with the realization that my life just sucks brewing in the back of my mind. Fucking Cason.
Somewhere deep down, a laugh starts bubbling. I’m stuck on the damn floor with no way to call anyone. I’m stuck here. And to think that I thought my worst problem today was that I’d eventually have to use real words, ones that aren’t so worthless.
My laugh spills over. I can’t stop it; it just spills out of me. The more I laugh, the more it bubbles up inside me. It keeps coming and coming until I’m crying from it. I finally manage to get myself mostly under control when the door clicks open and my mom appears.
The laughter literally explodes when I see her standing in the doorway. I mean, if I’d only waited five more minutes, I would’ve have been fine. Oh, Cason. My smart, sweet boy.
“Fallon? Are you okay?” Mom asks, rushing to my side on the floor. “What are you doing on the floor?”
“Not being dead.”
I push myself into a sitting position, and she pulls me up so I can get back in my chair.
Fucking Cason.
Chapter 7
Jesse
I’m late. Not that Fallon would notice or care, but I’m running behind because of the stupid meeting my father made me attend. It was all business, and my mind was so distracted by thoughts of Fallon that I couldn’t concentrate long enough to pretend I know what was said in the meeting. I shower as fast as I can, but I still need to pack a bag for the morning and grab Fallon some fresh cloth
es. I can’t even do this right.
I start rummaging through my drawers, getting things together. I pull out a t-shirt, but pause when a glimpse of purple catches my eye. Fallon didn’t want a drawer in my room. Even though she stayed in my room most of the time, she kept all her clothes in the guest room. But she kept one change of clothes in my drawer just in case she ever needed to change quickly.
I stare down at her clothes lying on the top of the pile, untouched. It’s hard to see parts of her here and not have her with me. I just want her back—all of her, whole and happy. I slam the drawer closed and shove my clothes in the bag.
“What the fuck?” Cason’s voice is loud enough that I think he’s burst into my room, but when I look up, he’s nowhere to be seen.
There’s a commotion downstairs, and I quickly jump into action. I fly down the steps two at a time. Something isn’t right. Cason never yells.
“Where is he? Where is Daddy Dearest?” I hear a male voice shouting as I get closer to the living room.
I round the corner and find a very pissed Cason holding Jax back at our front door.
“Where the fuck is that prick? Let me find him.” Jax is slurring and his movements are sloppy and loose. He’s drunk.
“Dude, you’ve gotta go. You can’t be here,” Cason says just as I reach them.
I help Cason push Jax back against the door frame.
“JAMES! COME OUT, YOU DUMB FUCK!” Jax yells. “I KNOW YOU’RE IN THAT OFFICE WHACKING OFF!”
“What is going on here?” Mom runs into the living room from the kitchen looking terrified. She wraps the robe draping across her shoulders tight as she stares wide-eyed at the situation.
Jax’s face twists into a lazy smirk when his eyes land on my mother.
“Catherine. Just the person I needed,” he says.
“Shut the fuck up, Jax,” I growl into his ear. “She had nothing to do with this. Leave her out of it.”
“Jax? Is that you? Is everything okay? Do I need to call someone for you?”
Mom looks concerned, but Jax ignores her.
“Or what? You’ll beat me up? Go ahead, I won’t feel it. JAMES! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!” Jax continues to scream like a madman into the house.
I get it. He’s drunk and on a mission. But this is not the time nor the place.
“JAX! Enough,” I growl through gritted teeth. “Cason, let’s get him out of here.”
“What in hell is going on? I’m trying to—” James’s voice precedes his appearance from the direction of his office. He stops dead in his tracks and looks from Jax to my mother, then back to Jax. “Now, son, I’m going to need you to leave.”
“Son? Don’t you call me your fucking son! You don’t get to call your bastard child your son, not when you abandoned him.” Jax is seething.
Cason’s head drops, and I sigh.
Here we go.
“James, what is he talking about? What is going on here?” Mom looks to my father with fear in her eyes—not the anger I expected, but pure fear of what is about to happen.
It’s then that I know she knows. Somewhere deep down, she has to know. Maybe she was afraid to admit it. It wouldn’t surprise me; this entire family is in denial.
“Oh, you didn’t hear? Seems like me and James here share the same DNA. Isn’t that right, James?” Jax says.
My father’s voice is low as he snarls through gritted teeth at me and Cason. “Get him the hell out of here.” He then turns toward my mother. “Catherine, listen. It’s complicated. Let’s talk.”
He reaches for her arm, but she snatches it away quickly and backs away. “No. Let’s talk here. What does he mean? Why would you share the same DNA?”
James’s eyes go dark, and his fists clench at his side.
“Seems like I’m not the only one he’s been lying to,” Jax sneers.
“Okay, that’s enough.” I pull on his shirt, damn near dragging him out the front door with help from Cason.
We dump him on the sidewalk on his feet. He sways, looking unsteady, but he’s able to stand.
“Get the fuck out of here, Jax, and don’t come back.”
“Yeah, don’t worry. I won’t.” He backs away, heading toward who knows where.
“What do you mean, he’s your son?” I hear my mom’s voice drift out of the front door.
I look to Cason, whose face is stark white.
“Fuck.” I wipe my face, trying to push back the exhaustion I feel pounding through my skull. It’s been creeping in for a while now, but Jax’s visit tonight has cracked it wide open. “FUCK!”
“Why aren’t you at the hospital?” Cason asks, his jaw ticking.
I turn towards him and look up. “What?”
“You should be at the hospital.” The disappointment in his tone shows on his face in the thin set of his mouth.
I lift my hands into the air. “I was packing my bags to head there when I heard you yell. Why? Are you really worried about that right now?”
“She needs you there. You shouldn’t be here. She’s struggling.”
We hear a car start, and we both watch as Mom’s taillights glow as she backs down the driveway and then drives away.
“This is fucking bad.” Cason’s eyes follow her car until it disappears.
“Yeah, it’s pretty fucking bad. All of it. This entire thing is one huge fucking mess.”
We walk back inside to silence. I run upstairs and finish packing as fast as I can. On my way out, I decide to make a pit stop in my father’s office.
I rap on the door before slowly opening it. It’s dark and I can’t see too well. It takes my eyes a few seconds to adjust.
“Came to gloat?” My dad’s voice catches me off-guard, and I find him in a chair in the corner with a glass in his hand.
“No. Why would I do that?” I ask.
He snickers before bringing the glass to his mouth. Scotch, if I had to guess. “She left.”
“I know. I saw her,” I say.
“I’m surprised you're not throwing a party already,” he snorts.
His hands tighten around the glass before his eyes turn up to me and glares.
“It’s her fault. None of this would be happening if it wasn’t for her,” he sneers as he takes another gulp of the amber liquid.
Her? How can he be blaming this on my mother? Unless…
He doesn’t mean my mother.
“Who?” I ask, hoping he isn’t going where I know he’s going.
“That girl of yours. Everything was fine until she weaseled her way into this family. All of this—your mother leaving—is her fault. She’d never have found out if it wasn’t for your little bitch.”
Anger ignites like a spark in a gas tank inside of me, but I just don’t have enough energy to act on it. Being emotionally drained has its limits, even with shitty people like my father.
“You would think that. Truth is, it’s no one’s fault but your own. You chose to cheat on mom, not Fallon. And this bullshit you call a family? You destroyed that too.”
I walk out, leaving the wake of my words trailing behind me through the wide-open door. Before I reach the end of the hall, I hear a boom, then glass shattering. For the first time in a long while, I smirk.
Chapter 8
Fallon
He’s been showing up later and later. I’m not sure if I care. Maybe I just don’t want to. I’m not sure. But here he is, coming in late once again, a duffle bag hanging from his shoulder. He walks into the room, places the bag on the floor and sits on the side of the cot where he sleeps every night. He doesn’t kiss my forehead like he does most nights, or ask me about my day. I’m not even sure he knows I’m awake.
I say nothing for now and watch him. He looks down at the floor. He looks so tired; dark shadows line his sunken eyes. His normally straight shoulders are curved in defeat. This shell of a man in front of me makes my stomach twist in knots. Jesse is falling.
“You’re late again,” I whisper into the dark room.
; His head pops up as he stiffens, on alert. Once his eyes find me in the dark, he relaxes back into his slumped state. I realize he’s taken his eyebrow ring out. He loves that thing. He got it solely to piss James off.
“Sorry, I thought you were asleep.” His tired eyes look me over as they always do.
I’m not sure if he’s looking to make sure I’m okay as much as he’s searching for answers. For a way to help me.
“I had to deal with a few things at home before I could get back here. You didn’t have to wait up.”
“I wasn’t,” I say quickly. “You look like shit.”
Jesse snorts. “Yeah, I guess I do. But I’m sure you feel worse than I look. Don’t worry about me. I’m just tired.”
“That seems to be the case for us all.” I roll over onto my back and stare up at the ceiling. “Except for Cason. I’m pretty sure he never tires of being himself.”
Jesse chuckles “Fucking Cason is always up to something. What did he do now?”
I don’t answer right away. What did he do? He made me angry. He splintered my shelf.
“I’m never not going to be damaged.”
He doesn’t respond in the way I thought he would. “I think Cason carries some of your hurt. I think he feels a bit responsible. The night you went missing, he said a few things he regrets. And now he’s trying his hardest to make it up to you, to help us become whole again. He needs that from us, that sense of family.”
I shake my head. “He can’t fix me, you know. Neither can you. I’m not a puzzle that just needs all the pieces put back together.”
“We were just surviving, Fallon. We were all just surviving, but then you came into our lives and gave us hope. Cason’s just trying to give you some of the same hope you gave us.”
I turn my head towards him. “Your hope is going to destroy you.”
“Fallon, I almost lost you…” He shakes his head out like he’s trying to rid himself of a horrible thought. “I gave you CPR and begged for you to not to leave me. I cried over your lifeless body, praying you would be okay. There isn’t any going back for me, and if you think you’re going to push me away, you’re wrong.”