by Nana Malone
"Oh, please allow me to have a front row seat."
“You’re both going to make me do this aren’t you?”
I nodded as I hooted. He went back to the sink and started humming low. Mayzie clapped her hands and giggled. I couldn’t help but follow suit. "Oh, yeah. Show us what you got."
Jax jumped and turned, using her bottle as his microphone as he proceeded to dance all around the kitchen, using the bar, the countertops, and anything within reach as props. He even paused at one point to juggle a few lemons. "I can't get nooooo…"
Sure enough, Mayzie laughed her little head off.
And I was completely and utterly charmed as he proceeded to do his entire routine.
I was in so much trouble.
Finally, he stopped, and even though Mayzie demanded more ‘Sa Sa,’ he shook his head and checked the time. “Sorry love.” He picked her up out of her high chair, and then fetched her bottle from the fridge. He cuddled her close as he slid it in the bottle warmer. Then turned his attention to me. "You're home for lunch?"
I shrugged. “I wanted baby cuddles. I didn’t expect to already love her so much."
He smiled at me and then handed Mayzie off. “Yeah, kids will do that to you.”
God, she was so squishy and soft, I could just smoosh her. But she beat me to it and clapped her hands on my cheeks, squeezing. Laughing, she said, "Sa sa."
Jax nodded from behind her. "Yeah, you do Sa sa. I need to see this."
I rolled my eyes. "I can't do that as well as Jax can."
I met his gaze. A small smile lit his lips. "Oh, come on, I'm sure your arse wiggling backward and forward is still a sight to behold." His tone was low, intimate, making parts of me clench.
Mayzie was no help. "Sa sa."
With her in my arms, I did a much mellower version of the song, making sure to include her so at least she'd be part of it. She loved it and squealed with delight.
The whole time, Jax's eyes stayed glued to mine. "I told you… a sight to behold."
Was he... No, he couldn't be. But it felt like he was flirting with me. Which was just… that would never happen. Why not? I cleaned up nice. But Jax was in a whole different league.
Guys like him went out with women like Willa. Women like Willa were vivacious and commanded everyone’s attention. All the attention. Throughout our lives together, I’d always felt invisible around her.
The way Jax looked at me, though… it was like he saw me. I could not get that lopsided, half-smug smile out of my head. I saw it every single time I closed my eyes. And it was messing with me.
"I—I should get lunch."
He smiled. "Already on a plate for you in the fridge."
My brows popped. "What?"
“Your lunch. It’s in the fridge.”
Shit. I was keeping him. “You don’t have to take care of me."
"Yes, I do. Nannies take care of the whole family. Including mum. Get used to it. So, you can either eat in here if you want, or you can go outside. Sit in the garden?"
Oh God, he was heaven with muscles. I could get used to him taking care of me.
No. Don’t you dare. He won’t be here forever. And you’re paying him to take care of you.
I cleared my throat. “I’ll eat outside with Mayzie if that's okay."
He smiled. "Of course, it's okay. You go on and take her out. I’ll bring lunch out.”
Jesus. I was going to fall for this guy.
Jax...
I wasn’t going to tell Ariel this. But I was pretty much a natural at the whole manny thing. I could handle this. I’d take care of the kid and be back in the Guard in no time.
Are you going to take care of her mum too?
Damn it. I’d managed to go a whole ten minutes without thinking about Neela. What was that shit yesterday with the ‘Nannies look after the whole family’ thing? Even to me, that sounded like I was offering orgasms on tap.
Weren’t you?
Fuck. I wanted to.
The baby was much easier to deal with. Wanting Neela was a whole other kettle of fish. I was going to need patience and control for that one.
As I pushed the baby along in her stroller, Mayzie handed me a block. When I took it from her with a wide beaming smile, she clapped and then pointed to her mouth.
"You want me to put this in my mouth?"
She clapped her hands. I wasn't sure what that meant, but I shook my head. "No, not for mouth, for playing, love. Bang it like this." I demonstrated as I banged it on the handle of her stroller.
She frowned, and I gave her back the block. Immediately, she put it in her mouth.
"Love, you can't eat everything. That's how little people get sick.” Which reminded me, we'd have to actually baby proof the house soon. It was only partially baby proofed with electrical outlets covered, but that left a lot that Mayzie could get into.
Look at you. Easy does it. She's not yours.
I hadn’t said anything to Ariel, but that was the problem with this assignment. The kid was fucking cute. Not just cute… it was the way she wrapped her arms around me and held on tight like a little a baby koala. It was getting into heart-melting territory.
She's not yours.
I knew that. I needed to remember that.
Just like her new mama.
Neela wasn't mine. I was here to do a job. Watch her back. Protect them both. It should be an easy job. It didn't stop all the filthy, dirty thoughts I had about her last night, knowing she was sleeping one room away.
For the most part, I hid all the thoughts about wrapping my hands around those delicate ankles, pulling her down the bed, and screwing her until her head hit the headboard again. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Thoughts like that had to stop. I knew that I had to stop, or she would notice.
Not like you didn't flirt with her last night.
I didn’t exactly mean to flirt. It was just the way things came out. It sounded like innuendo. I'd never been more relieved than when she went up to take a bath.
I knew what the hell I was doing here. I knew what I had to get done. I knew better than to trust a big butt and a smile as the boys from BBD had told me.
Not that Neela's ass was anywhere near big. But it was the sentiment. She was beautiful, smart. She needed me. I recognized the symptoms. I wasn't dumb. This was my pattern.
And you need to break it.
I’d woken up resolute, and I’d resolved to stay the fuck away from Neela that day as much as possible. Trace was on Neela duty, just watching the house, so I’d taken Mayzie, grabbed her diaper bag, and then headed down to Mother and Light Studios for her Mommy and Me class.
It had been on the original calendar before Willa died. It was something they did weekly, and Neela didn't want to stop. She, of course, had a client meeting, so she wouldn't be joining us until after.
That left me with a viper's nest of nannies and moms.
When I walked in, every set of eyes flickered over to me. I was used to women looking at me. It was the eyes. I recognized they were an unusual color of blue. It was also the height. At nearly six feet four inches, there weren’t a bunch of places I could easily hide.
The receptionist grinned at me, glanced down at Mayzie, and furtively glanced at my left hand before she stuck out her chest. "Hi. I don't think we've seen you here before."
"Yeah, I'm the new manny for Mayzie MacKenzie."
"Oh, so you're not her dad?"
I sighed and shook my head. "No, I'm not." You’re trying too hard sweetheart. And while normally I didn’t mind obvious, lately I was drawn to subtle and unassuming. Like Neela.
I wanted to ruffle that still core until it screamed. I needed help.
"Oh, this is great. We love having fresh blood.” She stood and made an announcement to all the women and babies waiting in the foyer. “Everyone, get ready, we're going to go into the yoga studio with the babies."
I frowned. "Yoga? No one said anything about yoga."
"Yes, yoga. That's today's
activity. It was on the calendar. It rotates from month to month."
I had a distinct urge to flee. Oh, I'd done yoga before. Just usually with my ex. Naked. Somehow, I didn't think that was how this yoga session was going to go. Though, given the looks that some of the moms were giving me, it might end up that way.
"Oh, fabulous. Yoga." Mayzie was making spitting sounds, like she was trying to copy the motor of a car. Over and over again. God, this kid was happy. I didn't know why she was giving Neela such a hard time.
I glanced down at her. "Okay, you're going to take it easy on me kiddo. It's been a while since I've stretched."
A beautiful blonde approached. Every inch of her was perfect. There was nothing out of place from her red snakeskin bottoms to her matching red snakeskin sports bra, but she was clearly manufactured.
“Oh good, maybe we can spot each other.” She smiled and indicated her baby on her mat.
I gave her a noncommittal, “Uh-huh.”
She wasn’t deterred though. "Hi, I'm Alana, and that's Madison over there. I just wanted to welcome you to the class. And I hope that we'll be seeing more of you."
"Yeah, sure. This was on Mayzie’s calendar, so I'm doing the activity."
"From what I remember, Mayzie's mom Willa wasn't exactly hands on. She usually brought a nanny along to do the yoga with Mayzie while she took one of the Bikram classes."
I lifted a brow, not missing a single dart of judgment. I refused to give this woman any indication of anything.
Still not deterred, she continued. "Well, we um, have a little social gathering afterward if you would like to join us. It's usually held at my house. You know, just a few moms and nannies, of course. So, you're welcome to come."
Yeah, I'd just bet I was. Was that where the naked yoga would happen?
Dick: I like naked, but not this one. I get the impression she’ll try and bronze me in the morning.
“We’ll see what little Mayzie here feels like.”
Right on cue, Mayzie turned and booty-scooted in the exact opposite direction from Alana and Madison. God, I loved this baby more and more with her subtle judgments. What was it that my niece was always saying? Oh yes, savage.
I was surprised. The class was actually not bad. I couldn’t touch my toes for shit, but Mayzie seemed to have fun. It probably wasn’t as relaxing for me as it could have been since I was on full watch-dog routine, but it wasn’t too bad. Lots of fit mums in yoga pants. Not a bad view. But it was tricky keeping an eye on the exits.
Alana made herself a nuisance every chance she got though.
At one point when I was holding Mayzie up and doing basic leg lifts, she chose to try and help me ‘correct my form.’ I coughed when her hand traced over my upper thigh as if to indicate where I should be feeling the burn.
Dick: Help me. I need an adult.
It was on the tip of my tongue to let her know I’d been trained in four martial arts and was, for all intents and purposes, a lethal weapon when Neela barged in. She was harried, her dark hair still hanging thick and loose. But she’d changed into the tightest little pair of arse-hugging black leggings and a top that equal parts served up her tits to me and strapped them down. She looked ready to work out… or to fuck, if porn could be believed.
Dick: This one please. You think she’ll let me rub against her yoga pants?
Jesus. Down mate. I was not going to think about all the practical, dirty reasons for downward dog. Professional, damn it. I could do this. Not think about her. Easy…
Was it me, or did her eyes narrow at Alana when she walked up? Her gaze when she turned to me was shuttered. But to Mayzie, she was all smiles. “Hi, baby girl.”
Mayzie cooed and reached for her. I surrendered her easily. “If you want, I’ll head outside.” Yes, please God. I was going to pitch a bloody tent if I stayed in her proximity too long.
She blinked at me in surprise. “No. Why would you wait outside? You started you might as well finish. And class is meant for two parents, I think.”
Alana's brow furrowed as she glared at Neela. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"
Neela’s brows popped. "Alana, we were in school together from elementary through high school. You know me."
Alana batted her big dark eyes. "Oh, right. Neela something, right?"
"Yeah, it's Neela." She rolled her eyes and settled down next to Mayzie, who handed her the block. Neela played with it and tossed it back and forth with her hands, completely ignoring Alana.
Alana, however, was not to be deterred. She just sauntered back to her position, all the while glancing at me over her shoulder.
I don't know what made me do it. (Dick: It was me. I made you do it.) But I reached an arm around Neela, then rubbed her lower back. "Glad you made it.”
It was an intimate move. Anyone watching would assume I was well accustomed to touching her. And Christ, would I love for them to be right
She stiffened slightly at first but then melted into my touch. She smelled of honey and lime. "Thank you for bringing Mayzie." Her voice was soft and smooth and intimate.
Alana looked back and forth between Mayzie and me, and then Neela, and then back again. She opened her mouth but then snapped it shut.
Then Neela reached up on tiptoe and planted a kiss on my cheek. One I could feel all the way to my bones.
Oh shite. All systems revved to full alert. Ease up lads. It was a simple kiss. Let's not get all excited.
Dick: Nope. All systems go.
My muscles went rigid, and all of the blood in my body rushed south. Cock, basically ready for action. Luckily, Neela was distracted by evil mum.
Alana frowned. "Uh, I don't remember you with a baby."
"Well, I’m Mayzie’s guardian. So, if you'll excuse us, we don't want to hold up class."
And then Neela placed the mat she’d brought next to mine and sat down. Mayzie scooted on over to Neela's mat and proceeded to roll onto her back and try to eat her toes.
We all resolutely ignored Alana, who couldn't have been more pissed off. Well, it served her right.
I leaned over and whispered, "That happen a lot?"
"Sorry. She was part of the bitch brigade in high school. I couldn't resist."
I leaned back over, making sure my lips were close to her ear. “Feel free to use me as a prop any time."
I’d gotten rid of Alana, but now I had a whole new problem. Neela. I couldn’t take my fucking eyes off of her.
Unlike most of the women in this room, she didn't look like she was trying too hard. Her leggings were simple. Black. There was some mesh and something that was on the side, and she was baring her midriff too. Clearly, the woman worked out.
I didn't know when she had time, but wow. Flat, tight. Perky tits. And I just wanted to bury my face between them. Next to me on the mat, Mayzie continued to bang her block and proceeded to make the revving-motor sound again.
I smiled down at her. "Right, love. I'd love to motorboat too," I muttered quietly.
I probably shouldn't say more of those words to the baby.
“By the way, thank you for doing this for me. I’m pretty sure this is above and beyond the call of duty.”
I shrugged. "That's all right. That's kind of how this goes. You didn't even have to come."
Dick: I’ll show her a hundred and one ways to come.
I squeezed my eyes shut. I was devolving into a caveman.
She frowned. " I promised I'd keep her commitments. I don't want to change anything on her. And well, we need to bond."
“See, I told you. Already a great mum.”
Thirteen
Neela…
Motherhood was a trip.
For the first time in my career, I’d ended a meeting early. Or in the case of Zap World Technologies, on time. Whenever we had a team meeting, they always dragged it out and then would slide in additional scope requests at the very end. So this time when they walked in, I was very clear with them. “This meeting starts on time and ends on time. Anyone
who comes late, well, they’re shit out of luck.”
The vice president couldn't believe it when he walked in fifteen minutes late and I didn’t stop the meeting to introduce him. And every time he'd try to ask a question, I cut him off and let him know that we'd already covered it at the beginning and he could discuss it with one of his colleagues at the end.
Before, I never would have spoken to a client like that. But I was going to set boundaries. I had to. Otherwise, I was never going to survive. Oddly enough, the VP wanted to add contracts for two more projects.
They were a gaming company and wanted us to help them build an unhackable game. Their last game had performed so well they had an influx of cash.
I told him to set up another meeting, and then I left.
It felt amazing. Boundaries were my friends.
Also, watching Jax Reynolds do downward dog and seeing just how flexible that man was? #worthit
And Mayzie was warming to me now. She wanted me to carry her out of the Mommy and Me class instead of Jax. And as we walked, she happily gurgled and placed her little fat hands to my mouth and mimicked kissing sounds. "You want a kiss?"
All she said in response was a gurgle, but I placed a little kiss on her chubby cheek and she clung to me tighter. My heart broke just a little. This poor little girl. She would never know her mother. But that was okay. I would make sure to remind her with a little bit of Willa every day, so she would always remember her.
Jax pointed out his car. "I’ve texted Trace. He’s supposed to relieve me when we get back. We’ll take my car back.”
"You know, I was actually thinking maybe lunch out would be okay?"
He frowned. "Oh, I didn’t see that on the schedule for the day."
"I know, I just… Mayzie's finally beginning to like me, so I don't want it to end just yet."
He sighed and nodded, pulling out his phone and sending a text to someone.
"You letting Trace know?"
He nodded.
"I’m sorry. You should go. I can handle one little baby through lunch."
Jax gave me one of his lopsided smiles. "I already told you, what you need, I'll provide. The shift change can wait."