by SJ McCoy
Izzy held her hand up. “I can see it, too, but don’t you think it’s too fast?”
“No. I really don’t. And you surprise me that you keep going back to that. You were all about me getting together with Ted, and that happened a lot faster than this. What’s the real problem?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know, or you don’t want to say?”
“I … I don’t know, Audrey.” She blew out a sigh. “Okay, I do know. But I feel stupid.”
“Well, you’re not stupid. So, why don’t you just tell me, and I’ll help you work your way past it?”
“Thanks.”
Audrey waited with her eyebrows raised.
“Things just don’t work out this well for me. They really don’t. I don’t want to let myself believe it because I’ll only end up hurt and disappointed.”
“But—”
“No, let me say it. I have to get it out while I can. Tim’s a good guy. Our marriage wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t ever complete—because I couldn’t have kids. He did his best to make me feel better about it. He swore that it didn’t matter—but it did. I divorced him to set him free. And look what happened.”
Audrey shook her head sadly.
“You don’t need to feel sorry for me.”
“I’m not feeling sorry for you! I’m kind of mad at you. You’ve always made out that Tim wanted to leave you, that he wanted kids more than he wanted you. He wasn’t lying, Izzy. It really wasn’t as important to him as being with you was. You decided what he wanted, and you pushed him away so that he could have it. Since he remarried and had his little girl, you’ve claimed that you were right—that that was what he wanted all along. It wasn’t. It’s what he went after when he couldn’t have you anymore.”
Izzy stared at her for a long moment. “He wanted a family.”
“Yes, and so did you. But when you couldn’t make it happen, he was happy for the two of you to build whatever life you could have. It was you that was so hung up on family being more important than anything else.” Audrey gave her a stern look. “If you’re going to tell me that you’re holding back with Diego because you don’t want to intrude on his family, I think I might throttle you!”
Izzy stared at her in surprise. “Why?”
“Ugh. Why can’t you see it, Iz? Because families are what you make them. They’re not exclusively reserved for the people you meet and marry when you’re young and the children you have with them. I know you had it tough growing up, but it’s like you somehow decided that because you didn’t have a family, then you never get to be part of one. That’s just not true, and I wish you’d see it. Look at Ted and me … we’re making a new family with Ally and Brayden and Eddie and April. Do you think April’s not part of it because she’s not blood? Do you think that when Ally and Brayden meet someone, their partners will be left on the outside looking in?”
“No, but that’s different.”
“How? It’s not different at all. You said yourself, Diego has Zack, they’re just two guys, not a traditional family unit, but don’t you think Maria is part of their family?”
“Of course, she is.”
“Yes, she is because Zack loves her, and therefore, Diego does, too. And if you give them a chance, Zack and Maria will come to love you because Diego does. And if you let yourself, you’ll grow to love them. That’s how families work, Izzy. You choose each other, and you grow in love. A family is a group of people who choose to love each other and are loyal to each other. You’re part of our family. You have been for years. Why can’t you let yourself become a part of Diego’s family? Let him become a part of yours?”
Izzy sat there, staring at her. “Are you done?”
Audrey nodded. “Sorry. It’s just that it’s frustrated me for years that you have this hang-up about family and about not being part of one when you’re the only one who’s ever put yourself on the outside. It cost you your marriage. It meant that you only ever got involved with unsuitable guys, and I don’t want to see you let it ruin what you and Diego can have, okay?”
She nodded. “Okay. You made your point.” She pursed her lips. “And you made it well. I can see what you’re saying—”
“Hallelujah!”
She had to laugh at that. “Have you really tried to tell me this before?”
Audrey rolled her eyes. “Hundreds of times. But I’m not going to hold it against you that you refused to hear it before.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because if you had, you wouldn’t be in this position with Diego now, and I honestly think he’s the best thing that ever happened to you.”
Izzy had to smile. “I think you could be right about that.”
“Well, then don’t screw it up! If I were you, I’d tell him how screwy you are about all this stuff and ask him to help you through it.”
Izzy raised an eyebrow at her.
“Seriously. He’s a grown man. He’s not like Rafa or any of the other guys you’ve dated. If the two of you are going to make this work, you need to be able to talk to each other openly and honestly … about everything.”
Izzy’s heart was racing and not in a good way this time.
“What’s your problem with talking to him about it?”
She had to think about it before she could answer. “I guess I have a problem with being vulnerable; it’s just laying yourself open to getting hurt.”
“That’s one way of looking at it, but another way to see it is that it’s trusting him to see who you really are, flaws and all … and to love you anyway.”
“What if he doesn’t?” That was the real fear. What if she admitted to him what a screw-up she really was, and it put him off her?
“I believe he will. He’s not some kid looking for perfection. He’s real. And he wants you to be real, too. You don’t get to our age without taking some knocks and collecting some scars. I think it’ll make him love you even more if you show him yours.”
“But what if he doesn’t?” she asked again.
“Then it wouldn’t work out between you over the long term, and you’re better off finding that out now.”
Izzy turned and looked out at the lake. She knew Audrey was right. She should just talk to him and tell him why she was the way she was. She didn’t like to think of herself as some weedy little female, though. Then again, she didn’t think she liked big, confident, macho guys either, but once she’d relaxed and gone along with what was instead of how she thought things should be, she’d hadn’t minded finding out that she was wrong!
~ ~ ~
Diego came out of the title office and slapped Austin on the back. “Thanks for all your help.”
“It’s been my pleasure. I’m sorry it took longer than I first expected.”
“That was hardly your fault.” Diego smiled as he realized that if they’d closed two weeks ago, he might not have gotten together with Izzy. “I believe everything works out at it should, in its own time.”
Austin nodded. “I’d like to think that, too. What do you say, do you want to come over to the Boathouse for a drink to celebrate?”
“Thanks, but no. I want to get back over to the lodge at Four Mile and bring Izzy back to see the house.”
“Oh. She’s with you?”
Diego nodded.
“I’ll let you get going then.”
“Thanks. Will you be out tomorrow night? Zack said everyone’s coming over here.”
“I will. Though I’m not sure how long I’ll stay.”
Diego laughed. “When I was your age, I’d have shut the place down every weekend. You’re young and single, why not make the most of it.”
Diego recognized the look in his eye. “Ah. You don’t wish to be single anymore? Who is she?”
Austin laughed. “What makes you think that?”
“I can tell. I’ve watched guys fall by the wayside over the years when they got hooked by a woman.” He smiled. “Now, I’ve fallen, too. I can see it in your eyes. Do you wa
nt to tell me about it?”
For a moment, Austin looked as though he did. But then he shook his head. “No. You need to get back over to Four Mile, pick up your lady, and bring her back to see your new house. You’ve got a new life to get started on. You don’t need to be hanging around here, listening to my woes. I appreciate the offer, though.”
He was right. Diego couldn’t wait to show Izzy the house. He hoped she was going to love it as much as he did. He grasped Austin’s shoulder. “Promise me that if you need someone to talk to … someone older.” He smiled. “I can’t claim wiser, or even more experienced …”
Austin raised an eyebrow at that.
Diego chuckled. “In matters of the heart. If you’re looking for something less complicated, then I’m your expert.”
Austin laughed. “Thanks. I might take you up on the offer someday soon.”
“You have my number. You know where I live. I’ll help you any way I can, any time.”
“Thanks. But for now, you need to get going. I’ll no doubt see you around over the weekend.”
Diego hurried back to the rental car. As he got in it, he realized that he should buy himself a car here now. Between Izzy’s place and being up here at the lake, he spent more time in rental cars than in his own car these days. He smiled as he started the engine. Perhaps she’d let him buy her one, too—a matching set for the two of them.
His smile faded as he pulled out into the traffic on Main Street. First, he’d have to get her to admit that she loved him—that she wanted to be with him. Even then, she might not want him to buy her a car, but he’d stand more of a chance.
His phone rang as he turned onto East Shore Road, and he hit the button to answer. “Hello?”
“Hey.” It was Ted.
“Hola, mi amigo.”
Ted laughed. “You sound happy. I take it the closing went without a hitch?”
“It did. And when we get settled in, you’ll be our first guests.”
“Great. And you just answered my next question.”
“Which was?”
“Whether you and Izzy are a we. She’s good with it?”
“Hmm. I believe she will be. She’s taking her time, and I’m respecting that.”
“Wise man. Don’t rush her.”
“I won’t. But what about you and Audrey? Your rushing things seems to have paid off.”
Ted laughed. “In some respects, yes. But not in others. You’re the one who now has a house here ready to move in.”
“Yes, but only because you chose to build.”
“True. I don’t mind telling you that I’m a little envious that you get to sleep in your new house tonight. It’ll be months before Audrey and I can do that.”
“But it will be worth the wait. And you have a very nice rental home to wait in. If anything, I’m the one who’s envious.”
“Of what?”
“Of the fact you and Audrey are officially together. You might have to wait for your house to be ready, but you don’t have to wait for her to be ready. She’s wearing your ring. You get to sleep next to her every night, wake up beside her every morning.”
“And you’re ready for that with Izzy?”
“I am.”
“But she’s not?”
“No.” He blew out a sigh. “She still has this thing that she’s not really part of my life. I’ve told her, Ted … told her that I love her. But I don’t know if she doesn’t believe me, or she just doesn’t feel it. I asked her to come with me to the closing. She said she didn’t want to be in the way. Why would she be in the way? I want her to spend time with Zack and Maria with me, but she doesn’t want to intrude on family time. When it’s just the two of us, I know everything’s all right, but when it comes to living life … building a life together, she backs out.”
Ted didn’t say anything.
“Are you still there? Are you seeing some problem that I’m missing?”
“I’m here.”
“Tell me?”
Ted chuckled. “Who says I have anything to say about it?”
“Your silence does. Tell me … do you think it’s bad? Is it something I can get past?”
“I don’t know, Diego. Obviously, I can’t tell you what’s going on with her; only she can do that. But my guess is that she doesn’t fully trust you yet. And to be fair, why would she? It’s only been a short time.”
Diego sighed. “You’re right.”
“So, take your time. Go slow. Let her see that you’re for real. Let her get to know Zack and Maria in her own time. I know you; you’re full-on when you want something, and that might be scary to a woman like her.”
“What do you mean, a woman like her?”
“Well, I don’t want to say this the wrong way, but from what I understand, she hasn’t been interested in long-term relationships for years, has she? When you first met her, you insisted that she wasn’t interested in you because she prefers younger guys—guys she can push around is what you said. I’d guess that there’s a reason she’d dated guys like that and avoided guys like you. You might want to figure out what that reason is and then do everything you can to reassure her that it’s not a valid reason to stay away from you.”
“What do you think her reason might be?” Diego’s mind was racing now. Ted was right. He had spent every night with her for the last week. They’d been full-on since the moment Ted and Audrey had left them in Ventura. And somewhere along the way, he’d forgotten that she wasn’t really into guys like him. Of course, he’d won her over, but how long would that last?
“I have no idea. That’s something you need to talk to her about—not me or anyone else. I do know that when you go around trying to guess what’s going on with a woman, you only tend to make things worse.”
Diego chuckled at that. “I’ve heard guys say that before.”
Ted laughed with him. “Because it’s so true.”
“I believe you. But it’s not something I have experience with. For me, whenever it’s gotten to the stage that something was going on with a woman that needed to be guessed at or figured out, I took that as my sign to move on.”
“I know. That’s how I know how serious you are about, Izzy. And it worries me a little.”
“Why?”
“Because I hope, but I don’t know, and I can’t tell if she’s as serious about you.”
Diego frowned to himself as he drove. He hoped she was. He believed she might be. But if she were, why hadn’t she told him that she loved him?
“Sorry. Say something? I don’t mean to put a damper on things.”
“It’s all good. Of course, it worries me. But I have hope.”
“She’d be nuts not to be serious about you. I mean, women always are.”
Diego chuckled. “Of course. I am the great Diego Águila, all the women want me.”
Ted laughed with him. “Exactly.”
“Okay. I’ll let you go. I’ll call you tomorrow about coming over to see the house.”
“I’d love to. But I know Izzy’s your priority. Do whatever you need to get things right between the two of you. Audrey and I can come and see the house any time.”
Diego made a face as he hung up. It made him sad that, unlike Ted and Audrey, he wasn’t secure in the knowledge that he and Izzy could do things anytime. Because, unlike Ted with Audrey, he didn’t know that she loved him, didn’t know if she planned to be part of his life. He wanted to know. He needed to know. But no. What he needed to do was give her time to figure it out for herself. She’d tell him one way or another in her own good time. He got the feeling that pushing her for what he wanted would only push her away.
Chapter Fifteen
“Wait there?”
Izzy nodded and watched Diego get out of the car. She looked up at the house and let out a low whistle. It was beautiful. It looked like a Tuscan manor, not something she might have expected to find in a small town like Summer Lake. There were some nice houses down by the water; she’d seen them when she and A
udrey had taken a walk on their first visit here. But this place was in a league of its own.
She laughed when he came around and opened the door for her.
He took her arm when she got out. “What do you think?”
She nodded. “I can see why you fell in love with it. It’s beautiful.”
He winked at her. “I seem to be making a habit out of that, don’t I?”
“Of what?”
“Of being so bowled over by beauty that I go and fall in love and have to have it.”
She pursed her lips. He had to have it? That made her feel as though she was some prize he was pursuing because he had to win.
He winked at her and ducked his head to land a peck on her lips. “You can’t deny that I’ve had you?”
She had to laugh. “No, I can’t. Nor would I want to.”
“And you won’t deny that I get to have you again later? That we can christen our new bed?”
She searched his face. He kept talking about this place as ours.
His smile was cocky as he looked back at her, but his eyes were as serious as she’d ever seen them. “Please don’t deny me?”
She shook her head. When he looked at her like that, she doubted that she’d ever be able to deny him anything. Not that he needed to know that.
He took her hand and led her up the steps to the front door. While he unlocked it, she turned to look out at the grounds. The rental car sat on the circular driveway. It was quite a place.
“Are you ready?” She turned back to him, and he put his hands on her shoulders and looked down into her eyes.
“Are you ready for this?” he asked again.
She laughed. “You make it sound as though we’re about to enter some magical wonderland.”
He dropped a kiss on her lips and nodded enthusiastically. “That’s because we are, Miss Isobel. But only if you’re ready.”
She looped her arms up around his neck and pressed herself against him as she kissed him. She didn’t know what to do with the serious expression in his eyes, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to try to figure out what he meant. But she knew that she could distract him with a magical adventure in the bedroom if he’d take her there.