What little loyalty I felt toward her was fast fraying. My fingers dug into the bedding on my cot. “Did you or did you not volunteer to take me to Earth?”
“If you think I had any real choice, then you deserve to die here.”
Her words were like bullets hitting me in the chest. I deserved to die? How could she say something like that? How could anyone? Slowly, I sat up, my gaze pinned to her. “I’m not going to die. Neither is Mak.”
“Mak?” She snorted in disgust. “Do you truly believe you can make a difference?” The woman who was supposed to care for me. The woman who was supposed to take the place of my mother. “That you can save these people?”
I shrugged. “I didn’t believe in unicorns. Fairies. I didn’t even believe in love, or that people truly cared about each other, until I came here. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that anything is possible. Even a normal, unimportant girl, saving a kingdom.”
“Love.” She paused, crossing her arms defensively over her chest. “You think you love him? A spoiled prince who wouldn’t know empathy if it hit him in the face? A man who isn’t capable of caring about another?”
She might feign anger, but I could see fear lurking in her eyes. She was losing a battle of her own making and there was no one to save her. Not the kingdom she had betrayed, not the daughter she had thrown away. “Mak is charming, kind, honorable. Things you’ll never understand.”
“And he’ll never love you.”
She said the words merely to hurt me. Hell, she might be right, but what I said about him was true. He was not the enemy. He was the one man I trusted fully. “I didn’t say he would.”
Realizing she was getting nowhere with me, she stomped toward the tent flap. “There might be unicorns and castles here. There might be princes and princesses. But if you’re expecting a fairy-tale ending, you’ll find out soon enough this place is just as cruel as any other realm.”
But there was a difference between this realm and Earth. Here, they hadn’t lost sight of their magic. Yes, it might be fading, but it was still there, in the very air, in the water, in the history, the people.
“I’ll leave, but remember,” she paused at the tent flap, “I’m your only chance. I’m the only one who can tell the truth, that you’re nothing but a common girl.”
How desperately I wanted to tell her that she could shove her secret. And I would have, if the general and Bryn hadn’t wanted the soldiers to know the truth. And so, I was stuck in this limbo hell. A lie not of my making.
The tent flap fell back into place as she left. Finally alone, I could relax. Gently, I pulled up my shirt, and tried to feel my back. No wound. No scar. Nothing. They’d used fairy magic; I could feel it coursing through my blood. A slight tingling that whispered in my body, made me feel connected to the earth.
Sarah had said they used too much on me, a worthless commoner. Maybe she was right. Maybe that balm could have been used to save the people of this kingdom. How many suffered because they’d used so much magic on me? Damn her for making me wonder. “I hate her.”
“Princess,” Mak clicked his tongue in reprimand, “is that any way to talk about your evil, pretend mother?”
My heart leapt at the sight of him. He stood casually just inside the tent, looking fit and beautiful and strong. Had he been outside all this time? Hell, what had he heard? I let my shirt fall back into place. “I’m not a princess.”
He grinned, moving closer, and that’s when I noticed the paleness to his face, the haunted look in his eyes. Losing his kingdom had devastated him. “You’ll always be a princess to me.”
Until I’d seen him, I hadn’t truly believed he was uninjured. I wanted to run to him. To throw my arms around his neck and hold him tight. I was desperate to touch him. “Stop.”
“But you think I’m charming.”
Oh god, he’d heard everything. My face heated. “Shut up.”
“But…I thought you loved me.”
“I’m leaving.” I surged to my feet, only to sway when the blood rushed from my head.
“No, don’t.” He raced toward me, wrapping his arm around my waist. His amusement had faded, replaced with worry. “I’m sorry.”
I leaned into his strength and closed my eyes, feeling warm and safe in a way I shouldn’t. In a way I’d never felt before. “No, you’re not.”
“You shouldn’t have done what you did.” I didn’t miss the catch to his voice. The heated emotion. His warm hands pressed to my back, holding me close, too tight, but I didn’t care. “Don’t ever put yourself in danger like that again. Certainly not for me.”
“But if I would have let you die, you wouldn’t have been able to go on, annoying the world as you do.”
“The only person I’m interested in annoying is you.”
I laughed against his chest. “Lucky me.”
“Are you truly well?”
“Yes. I’m sorry you lost your kingdom.”
He sighed. “Shay, I don’t give a shite about my kingdom right now. I only care about you. By the gods, I’ve been in a near panic, waiting for you to wake. I was so worried the fairy balm wouldn’t work. So worried—”
I stood on tiptoe and pressed my lips to his. His hands cupped the sides of my face as he deepened the kiss. I wanted to taste him, memorize every detail. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held tight. I wanted to explain to him how much I cared, how much he meant to me. He needed to understand that I couldn’t lose him.
All too soon he pulled back, breathless. “I don’t think my father was my father.”
“What?” I asked, confused by the change in topic.
“It was something Queen Freya said. But I don’t think he’s my father.”
“Oh,” I whispered, looking up at him. “Are you okay?”
He nodded. “Are you?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re sure?” I didn’t miss the way his voice caught.
I rested the side of my face against his chest. “I’m fine, Mak. I promise.”
He gently rubbed my back as the war raged on around us. Thundering shouts. The clang of metal. The scent of fire, dirt, and death. I didn’t want to ask how the battle was going; I had a feeling it wasn’t good.
He pulled back. “I’ve been thinking.”
“Scary.”
“I’m trying to be serious here.” But I noticed the amusement in his green eyes. “I believe there’s a desperation inside both of us. We’re trying to outgrow our pasts. We need to prove our worth. We just show it in different ways. You lash out, hide. I mock, pretend as if I don’t care. I think it is that connection that bonds us. We understand each other.”
“Okay,” I mumbled, feeling oddly vulnerable.
He’d been thinking. About us. About our connection. And damn it all, he understood me more than I wanted to admit.
He looked so serious. “What I’m saying, Princess, is that somewhere along the way, a stubborn, strong, independent girl found her way into my heart.”
I took in a deep, trembling breath. My chest felt tight. It was hard to draw air. It was too much. Too much to hope, too much to bear, too much to lose. “Don’t say things like that unless you mean it.”
He frowned as he stepped closer. “Is it so hard to believe I mean it? By the gods, Shay.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. Hell, I hated being open, weak. “Maybe.”
His gaze had an intense sheen that made me nervous. “What if I could prove it to you?”
It was my turn to frown. “How?”
“By saving your kingdom.”
I shook my head, confused. “Do you know what your uncle has planned? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“No.” He raked his hands through his hair, leaving it mussed. “You, Princess, and your gift from Queen Iduna. You’re the plan.”
He wanted me to use the wildlife. To call on the beasts of the forests and mountains to sacrifice themselves to help us. I settled on the cot and reached for my boots. “You
mean the animals. I can try. I can bring them here. But I’m not sure I want to. To involve them in this war between humans doesn’t seem right.”
Hadn’t I made a pact with Iduna that I wouldn’t harm any wildlife? I could barely remember.
He sat next to me, the cot creaking under his weight. “Not the animals.”
I pulled on my boots. “That’s all I have to offer, Mak. I’m not trained to fight, as both you and Bryn pointed out. All I have are the powers that Iduna gave me.”
“No, it’s not that I don’t want you to use your powers.” He took my hands in his. There was a soft bruise on his left temple. He’d hurt himself, most likely in the battle. “I promise you, no more secrets.”
I nodded slowly. He wasn’t making any sense, but he looked so serious, so vulnerable, that I didn’t dare pepper him with questions. “Okay. No more secrets.”
He released my hands. “Let me get Brynjar so I won’t have to repeat this. I’ll explain to you both, and I’ll tell you everything.”
I bit back my response, letting him go because I’d known, hadn’t I? I’d known there was something he wasn’t telling me. Known he’d been keeping secrets. And apparently soon, very soon, I was going to find out why his eyes glowed.
He started to push open the tent flap, only to pause. His shoulders were tight, tense, as he kept his back to me. “Who released the arrow meant for me?”
I knew what he was asking: who had betrayed him, who had wanted him dead.
I swallowed hard. “I didn’t see.”
He hesitated. The silence stretched. Finally, he nodded and left.
I fell back onto my cot.
I’d lied to him when I’d promised we’d never lie to each other again.
I’d lied. But there was no way in hell I was going to hurt him even more by telling him the truth, that his best friend had tried to kill him.
Chapter Twenty
Shay
I could sense them there…waiting.
Could feel every beat of every heart, hear every pant of every breath, could sense the energy pulsing from them. The desire to help. To fight. To protect. To kill. I was part of their pack, we were one. And it was their duty to keep me safe. They would do anything for me.
For some reason Queen Iduna thought I was worthy of their adoration. Worthy of this power. I had my doubts. Would she still think I was worthy if I used them to fight for us?
I would use these animals. Manipulate them. And they would die. Die for me. Innocent animals. Beasts of the forests. What choice did I have? We could not win without them. Unless…unless Mak came through.
My horse shifted underneath me. He could sense my nervousness and it was making him anxious. I took in a deep breath, trying to control the anxiety pulsing heavily through my veins. I hadn’t told Mak that I had backup. He would have insisted I not cross Iduna. But I would only call those animals as a last resort. Only call them if Mak’s insane plan didn’t work.
“Do you truly believe this will work?” Brynjar asked.
Damn Bryn for always voicing my own misgivings. I kept my gaze focused straight ahead, afraid he’d read the truth in my eyes. We sat nestled on the side of the mountains, close enough to the battlefield to witness the war, yet far enough away that we were out of reach of arrows. Why did this feel like a replay of the battle two days ago when I’d been shot in the back? I couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t going to end well.
“I hope so.”
“Well, that’s reassuring.”
On the hilltop in front of us, the battle waged. Man attacking man. Blood spilling. Hatred. Fear. It all seemed so damn stupid. What a waste of time and life. Yet, it happened. In every world, in every realm, decade after decade. We humans had learned nothing.
Dusk had fallen, leaving the warriors shadowed puppets against a backdrop of a setting, blood sun. We were just close enough that the sound of metal clanging against metal, the cries of those in pain, would haunt me for the rest of my life.
But it was the scent that truly got to me.
Blood. Fire. Metal. The air tasted like death. Did Brynjar smell it, or were my senses heightened since I’d bonded with the animals around me? Since leaving Queen Iduna’s land, I’d felt different in a way I couldn’t understand or explain. More…connected. Connected to wildlife, connected to the sky, to the very earth.
“Can you truly control them?”
I looked back at the mountains where the beasts hid. A pack of wolves, a dog, a unicorn. But hundreds of animals? “I can try.”
My mount shifted again. This time it had nothing to do with my anxiousness and everything to do with the animals that he, too, could sense. They were eager to attack. I could feel the adrenaline coursing through their veins. They wanted to kill. These were predators, and I’d made Mak’s kingdom their prey.
“Call the hawks and eagles first,” Brynjar murmured. “While they’re diving at the soldiers, they’ll be preoccupied. Then call the wolves, the bears, the unicorns.”
I jerked my gaze toward him. “Unicorns?”
He was slowly scanning the battlefield. Always watchful. “They’re pretty, but they’re also deadly, Princess.”
“Shay.”
He looked at me. I could see the confusion in his eyes. “What?”
“Shay. You can call me Shay now. Right?”
He looked hesitant.
I laughed. “You said you couldn’t call me by my first name because I was royalty. I’m not royalty. You can call me Shay.”
The left corner of his mouth quirked, and I had a brief sighting of that dimple. “Shay.”
The horizon was tinged pink and orange, as the first few stars peeked from the sky. How could something so beautiful be happening at the same time that something so ugly was taking place? It seemed sacrilegious.
“Thank you,” I said. “I wanted to hear you say my name at least once before…”
He looked away, his smile falling. “Before?”
I shrugged. “In case anything happens.”
“Nothing will happen to you.”
It was such a Bryn thing to say. I swore he thought he could control the world. “You can’t know that.”
“I do. Because if this doesn’t work, if he can’t change, Prince Makaiden is taking you to the mountains.”
Furious, I jerked my mount closer to him. “What? No.”
“Yes. This isn’t your war.”
Typical. He thought he could control everything, including me. And that was why Bryn and I would have never worked. While Mak let me be myself, Bryn always thought he knew what was best. “I might not be the princess, but I am still Acadian. I belong here as much as you.”
His jaw clenched, then unclenched. I could tell he was fighting his sexist instincts. No doubt he’d prefer me back at the castle, doing embroidery and learning to waltz. “Shay, be reasonable, you don’t have the strength or cunning to fight. You’re—”
“Fragile?” I snapped. “A weak, little girl?”
He didn’t respond. Jerk.
“Are you freaking kidding me? What’s fragile about women? Do you have an idea what we have to deal with month to month? What giving birth is like? Oh yes, please, tell me how fragile women are so I can tell you to go to hell. Women are not fragile, we are warriors. Every month. Every day of our lives.”
He looked more than startled. Some of my anger dissipated. This was an entirely new world. They were more evolved in some ways. Not so much in others. Maybe, if I lived, I might actually open his eyes.
“I’m not your sidekick, Bryn,” I added. “I’m no one’s sidekick. I’m not the secondary character to this story. The female character who gets used and abused for emotional manipulation. I’m the hero. And with your help or not, I’m going to save this kingdom.”
He hesitated for a moment. “Fair enough.”
Never had I stood up for myself like I had in that moment. Although my blood was pumping with adrenaline and anger, there was also a rush of pride tha
t came with my speech. I couldn’t help but smile. “I can’t believe you wanted me to leave.”
“It wasn’t my idea, it was Prince Makaiden’s.”
I frowned. “He wants to flee? I find that hard to believe.”
“No. He suggested I take you to the mountains. Insisted on it, even. However, the general pointed out that it would be better if the prince survives, so that he might one day take the rightful throne. So, if he changes, but you can’t control him, I’m to take you to the mountains. If he can’t change, he’ll take you.”
I found the entire conversation more than frustrating. They’d made plans without even asking for my input. I wasn’t a child, and I wasn’t royalty. It wasn’t worth arguing about right now. The breeze shifted, bringing with the scent of fire. From the camps, or burning bodies, I wasn’t sure. Didn’t want to know.
The sun had almost dipped below the horizon. The temperature was dropping. We were getting close to appointment time. We were silent for a few moments, savoring the little time we had left. Ahead on that hill, the battle roared like a big budget movie. This could very well be the last moment we were together.
“Thank you, Bryn, for finding me. For bringing me back home.”
His hands tightened around his reins. “Even though you’re not the princess?”
I grinned. “Yes. Even though I’m just a lowly soldier’s daughter. If you survive, promise me you’ll find the other two.”
He nodded. “If I survive.”
And I had to believe he would survive, because life without Bryn was too difficult to imagine. He might drive me nuts at times, but I still cared about him. Bryn, Helen, Mak, they were my family.
“You need to go now,” I said softly. “I don’t want any of you out here when he changes. It could get dangerous fast.”
“I’ll call the soldiers back. However, Cashel will advance quickly. You must be prepared.”
“We will be.”
Brynjar grasped the golden horn at his side, slowly he lifted it to his mouth. The sound blasted through the air, over the hills, calling our soldiers home. It was an eerie sound, the mournful wail of the dead. A sound that made me shiver.
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