by Alex Silver
Drew: Is Chad leaving why you took down the bunk divider?
I glanced over my shoulder and bit off a curse. My recent funk was so all-consuming, I’d forgotten to pull the curtain across the sleep alcove before going live. I reached up to twitch it closed now, but the damage was done. Drew had already drawn Bri’s attention to my oversight.
BriBri: OMG, did you sleep with him?
Redherring99 has logged on.
Good, it had been a while since my number one superfan had logged in, I’d started to worry that something had happened to him. Or that he’d lost interest in Hauntastic Haunts.
RadRaf: No judgment if you did, that boy was cute.
Drew: Too bad he left, you and Chad were #lifegoals
I was taking too long to reply. That would only fuel their speculation. Thank god Drew had given me a plausible excuse.
“The bed is unrelated to Chad. Just taking advantage of having Vanessa all to myself until I can hire a replacement. Not sure how I will replace Chad though, he worked magic with the paperwork. If you guys know anyone who wants a minimum wage job following me around the country, send them my way.”
I sipped from my empty mug to buy a moment to gauge their response. A few jokes, Drew wishing he was old enough to join me. The usual. I forced a weak laugh in reply as I set aside my cup.
“So, as much as I would love to wax poetic about the best PA to have ever PA’d, let’s all respect Chad’s privacy, okay, crew? What questions can I answer for you about the Goodman haunting?”
RadRaf: The teaser footage had sirens, was there an actual emergency?
“Good question, Raf, yeah, the spirit of Frank Higgs has a marked violent streak, as will become more obvious in next week’s webisode. I won’t wander into spoiler territory, but I will say there was no lasting harm done. No one died.”
As always, Raf helped me steer the webcast back onto the proper track. I’d arranged this live chat to talk about the haunting, not wallow over Chad.
“This is one of the most active hauntings we’ve encountered on Hauntastic Haunts. I am so excited to share the final videos in the series with you all. We got some amazing footage, thanks to Chad’s ability to keep his head under pressure. Like I said, the guy will be impossible to replace. But I digress, I think the webisode will speak for itself.”
Apparently I couldn’t get Chad out of my head or stop talking about him.
Drew: Are you calling in expert help?
RadRaf: A case for the professionals?
GhastLee: Medium time?
“Without getting into spoilers, I have called in a colleague to consult with on this one. They appear confident we can help the property owner give the ghost closure and get him to move on.
“I hope so. After the reception we got from the ghost, I couldn’t reconcile leaving him here to do more harm.
“Which brings me to another point. Lara and Jane Goodman, who have been together for over a decade, have shown us amazing hospitality. They have been nothing but cooperative since we arrived. I can’t speak well enough of Goodman Dairy.
“They are running quite the business here in Vermont. So if you find yourself in the area, be sure to check out their business. They have amazing homemade ice cream and cheeses. You can tour the farm and get a glimpse behind the scenes of a working dairy.
“They even have a small petting zoo. You can feed the calves and some other small animals. Plus, they do milking demos so you can see how they used to do things before automation.
“And no, they aren’t paying me to advertise, they are just that awesome. I like them. And I always love an opportunity to shout out LGBT+ business owners.”
RadRaf: Would you rec the town?
Drew: Official rating?
“So, about the town, everyone acts welcoming everywhere I’ve been here. I’d recommend this place to anyone looking for a rural getaway. Five out of five rainbows, would visit again.”
BriBri: How do you know the local businesses are LGBT+ friendly?
Shit. Shit shit shit, that had been a stupid slip up, and of course Bri would pick up on it. Nothing I said now would convince her I hadn’t been dating Chad.
Panic made it hard to think of a reply. This whole livestream was a terrible idea. The plan was to distract myself from Chad leaving, not create more reminders of his absence.
Even worse, I couldn’t even tell my internet friends how much I missed him. Not without opening a whole can of worms with speculation about any PA I hired going forward.
At the last moment Red threw me a lifeline. I could have kissed them. If they weren’t an anonymous person on the internet who I would never meet IRL.
RedHerring99: Lots of rainbow flags in the storefronts?
“Yes, Red, just about everywhere I went had a pride flag or a flag decal. They even did one of the local crosswalks up in rainbow stripes. It was nice to see.
“So like I said, if you’re in the area, check it out. And that’s about all the time I have today, the next Goodman Dairy video will drop at the usual time next weekend. I can plan to do another live stream an hour after it goes live, if you all want?”
I smiled at the stream of likes and comments saying they would love that.
“Great, so we'll plan on it then. If I forget, I’m counting on you all to poke me with a reminder, okay?”
A few of them agreed, some of them sent laughter emojis because my lack of organization when I was between PAs was notorious.
It was why I always released my weekly webisode at the same time. Having a scheduled reminder was the only way I could stay on top of things. And even then it got dicey early on until my release schedule became ingrained in my routine.
If Chad was still around, he’d be sure to remind me and keep me on track. He’d handled those details with ease. Exactly what I needed in a PA and a partner.
Clearly, this livestream made an awful distraction technique since all I could think about was missing Chad.
“Right, I’ll talk to you again next weekend then, hope you all have a hauntastic week!”
I cut the audio, then waited for final comments from everyone, goodbyes and well wishes sprinkled with hype for the next video. When that died down, I ended the stream and logged off.
I had three notifications in my messages. The first hit my inbox halfway through my livestream. Jane and Lara had approved my edits. I shot them a quick thank you.
The video was ready to go, so I marked it approved. I just needed to add in the opening and closing credits and do a final pass on the audio. That, and a final check to make sure everything was perfect before I uploaded it and scheduled the release.
I only had to film myself monologuing for the series wrap-up video now. Chad and I already filmed extra shots of the dairy and the barn to as wrap video filler material. Then I’d be saying goodbye to Goodman Dairy.
Weird to think I’d be leaving the setting of most of my memories of Chad behind when I left. How had he wormed his way so deep into my heart in so little time? I didn’t want to confront that.
I turned back to my inbox. The second message was from Drew.
Dan,
Thanks for your advice. I told the family what I knew about the haunting. You were right. It was the right thing to do.
Can I tell you a secret? I think you’re the only person who will understand. If I’m overstepping, just ignore the rest of my message.
Here goes:
Toby was my boyfriend. Is that incredibly weird? I know he was a ghost, but we connected. He wasn’t like the ghosts on Hauntastic Haunts.
I guess because he got a steady diet of my living energy, he seemed more real.
Anyway, I loved him. And now he’s gone. It’s been a few weeks since he’s been at rest, and I’m all alone. I mean. Not all alone, I still have my family. But you’re the first person who knows about me.
I guess I just wanted to say thanks for being open about who you are. You gave a lonely kid hope everyone isn’t just blowing smok
e when they say it gets better.
Seeing you every week makes me think it really can get better for me too.
Drew
PS: I know it’s none of my business, but maybe we’re sort of friends now? You seemed happy with Chad, and I couldn’t help but notice how sad you seemed tonight. Misery loves company?
Now that he isn’t working for you, you could reach out to him? Or not. I hope whatever made him leave, you two can stay in touch.
You seemed good together. Or was it just on screen chemistry? He made you smile.
Right, you can ignore the dating advice from the awkward teenager. I’m debating deleting this whole message now, so I’m just going to hit send before I chicken out. Bye.
I smiled to myself. My interactions with Drew were the reason I’d decided early in my vlogging career to be open about my sexuality. Even if he was the only person I reached, he would make all this worthwhile.
And I knew he wasn’t. I’d gotten similar messages over the years. It was a welcome reminder of my impact on the world.
I opened a new message to Drew. I found his mention of being in a relationship with the ghost alarming, but it was over if he’d put the spirit to rest. No point chastising the kid over a nonissue. I was there to support him, not judge him.
Drew,
I think we can say we’re friends. Solidarity, right? I’m proud of you for letting go of Toby to give him and his family peace. I know that couldn’t have been easy for you.
There will be other boys. You won’t be alone or lonely forever. And you’ve got me and the rest of the crew in your corner cheering you on, okay? I’m here for you if life gets you down, don’t be afraid to reach out.
I appreciate your concern about Chad and I. He’s a great guy and I wish him well. My career isn’t conducive to pursuing a relationship right now.
My life is too erratic and nomadic, and that’s okay. If I ever try to fit Mr. Right into my life, I will rope him into getting to know the crew, but for now that isn’t my priority.
Since you mentioned relationships and happiness, I think you might need to hear this? You don’t need a relationship to find happiness and fulfillment. There is more to life, okay? Like friendships.
I’m glad you reached out to me. Hope to hear from you again soon.
Hauntastically your friend,
Dan
I sent the message and opened the last new one. From Redherring99. They rarely sent me direct messages like this. If they did, they kept their correspondence short and to the point. But at a glance, this message was longer.
Unlike most of my top tier supporters, Red divulged almost nothing personal. They were more of a silent lurker. I still didn’t know for sure what pronouns they used.
I hoped they weren’t messaging to tell me they would no longer be supporting the channel. They had stepped back their involvement of late. Ever since Chad became my PA, come to think of it.
The first word of the message made my heart feel like it might pound right out of my chest, it was addressed to Daniel, not Dan. The only person outside my family who called me by my full name was Chad.
This message had to be from him. Chad was Redherring99.
I wasn’t sure whether to be glad he’d messaged me, or hurt that he’d kept the truth from me. I settled on glad. He’d told me he was a fan of Hauntastic Haunts, so it wasn’t like he’d hidden anything important.
I braced myself before reading beyond my name at the top. This message might be his final rejection, or a lifeline for our relationship. Either way, I needed to face it head on.
Daniel,
I’ve got to tell you something. I’ve missed you. More than I would have thought possible. It’s only been days, but it seems so much longer.
I’ve debated whether to tell you this, but let me introduce myself.
Hi, Dan, it’s me, Chad. I’ve been cyberstalking you ever since you started calling my direct line at Chorus Insurance to get me to handle your claims.
At first, I just followed you because of the novelty of your having a PA to sort out your insurance woes. That’s not super common. I thought you must have a huge ego. But then I saw the show, and even though I was a skeptic, it appealed to me.
You have an authenticity that’s so rare these days. You hooked me from the first grainy amateur video of you taking a dare to stay in a spooky abandoned house overnight.
I don’t know why I’m writing you this. Or why I’m using my Redherring99 email to tell you. I guess because you deserve to know?
If you don’t want me to follow you, after everything we shared, I can back off. I’ll still keep up my monthly pledge as long as I can afford to, because I believe in what you are doing with Hauntastic Haunts.
You’ve built such a wonderful online community, I don’t want to make you feel unsafe there by hanging around spying on you. But I figured I owed you an explanation before Red just ghosted you.
Anyway. Take care of yourself. I can’t stand thinking about you putting yourself at risk to deal with ghosts all on your own. Please listen to Karen and try not to get yourself killed.
So, yeah, TL; DR Red is me, Chad. And we might have only been together IRL for a few weeks, but I’ll never forget you or how you made me feel. Be safe.
No obligation to reply.
Love,
Chad
That was a kick in the balls. He loved me? And this was how he told me? In a goodbye email. Screw that.
Ever since he made his abrupt departure, I’d been giving him the space he said he needed. I still had his number though, and he’d contacted me first. I dialed.
The phone rang for so long I expected it to go to voicemail.
“Hello?”
“Chad?” I almost didn’t believe it was him on the line.
“Daniel, I, uh, didn’t expect you to call. I guess you got my message?”
“Yeah, Red, I got your message.”
There was a long silence.
“Why are you calling me?”
“Because, your message, you said you love me and you miss me. If I have any sliver of a hope of getting you to change your mind about leaving me, then I had to try. So. Is there?”
“Is there what?”
“Any chance we can make this work?”
“I don’t know Daniel. It’s true that I miss you, but I’ve got family here. Obligations. I don’t know what I was thinking when I ditched them to follow you around like a lovesick teenager.”
“You were thinking it would be worth it to follow your heart for once instead of always doing what you think you should. That you were ready for an adventure.”
“Life with you is that,” he sounded so wistful. Like my life was some impossible dream far beyond his reach. This was not going well. How could I make him see that he could have the dream if he would just give himself permission?
“It isn’t too late. You can come back.”
“Of course it’s too late. You already told the crew I left. And I’ve got a job offer and a lease I just need to sign.”
“So, does that mean you haven’t signed anything yet? No new apartment to sublet or job to quit?”
Chad sighed.
“Look, I get that you have reservations, but we fit together. Can I do anything to convince you to return to the show?”
Chad took a long time to reply.
“I can’t watch you put yourself in danger like you did that day, Daniel. Higgs could have killed you. Don’t forget, I’ve seen all of your medical claims for all the accidents you have had on sets over the past few years. There are a freaking lot of them. Because you take stupid risks.
“If you keep running around half-cocked I worry one of these days, you won’t walk away from one of these hauntings. I can’t get involved with that.”
I had no ready defense for that objection. He was right. I didn’t always think before I acted. Sometimes I put getting the perfect shot or that bit of extra footage ahead of my safety.
“You’re righ
t. I shouldn’t ask that of you. What if I make you my production manager?”
“What would that entail?” Chad sounded intrigued. At least, he didn’t shoot it down right out of the gate. I might still salvage this situation.
“Whatever we decide it means, I’m making this up as I go along, to be honest.”
Chad snorted, “I’d expect nothing else.” He sounded amused though and fond.
“For a start, you would have to approve what we film. Help me plan safety precautions so nothing like what happened with Higgs happens to us or anyone on my set ever again.
“We can go meet with Karen in person for intensive training. Both of us can learn about safety precautions. The woman seems to think I’m her apprentice now, anyway. We might as well take advantage of her knowledge, since she is offering. So? Will you be my boss?”
“Partner.”
“Huh?”
“Business partner. So we get equal say in the decision making.”
“And equal stakes in the business,” I insisted, perhaps prematurely since I’d only known the guy IRL for a month.
This was my livelihood I was offering him. But I’d always believed in going big or going home. And I loved him. Besides, Red was one of my oldest patrons. He’d paid his dues to Hauntastic Haunts.
“No. You keep the majority interest. Let me buy into the company. I have some savings set aside, I can afford to invest in you. I’ve already seen your accounts, living out of Vannessa means there isn’t a ton of overhead for the business. It’s a solid investment.”
I preened at his praise of my business.
“But Hauntastic Haunts is your baby, you need to protect yourself if things don’t work out between us. So, I’ll crunch some numbers and make you an offer for a forty percent stake in the company. We can write up a contract as far as how we both get paid.”
I cut him off before he could go into anymore details. There was only one question I cared about the answer to.
“Does that mean you’ll come back? Live and work with me again?”
Chad paused, like he was considering, “Someone has to keep you from killing yourself out there, yeah, Daniel, I’ll come back.”
“I’m still at the dairy. Almost done here, thanks to you, we are ahead of schedule. So, if you can get here soon, we’ll brainstorm a plan to put Frank to rest. End this haunting once and for all before we have to travel to the September haunting site. What do you say?”