I stand behind the counter with Bryce and Amelia. Anytime someone orders a straight coffee, I get to be the one to fill the cup. They also let me hand out baked goods. I’m a regular junior barista—at least in my mind I am.
“Bryce, I’m having a blast here. You get paid to do this?”
“Yep. It’s a great place to work. And, as fun as it can be, it’s not what I’d do with my downtime if I weren’t getting paid. You take the fun factor up a notch, to be sure.”
A customer walks up to the counter, I say, “Welcome to Ferris Wheel. How can I help you?
“You see that, Bryce. That’s how to greet a customer.”
He laughs.
I say, “Seriously, ma’am what can we get for you this morning?”
She says, “I’d like a medium cup of coffee—leave room for cream please—and a blueberry muffin.”
“Coming right up.”
I grab the muffin and Amelia pours a coffee.
Jack comes around from the office to watch me work my magic. He laughs when he sees me and then he mingles with the customers seated around the shop. He picks up some cups and comes back to the counter to say something to Bryce. He was right. Coming here filled my tank. I have been way too isolated this past month. It feels good to be out among society, serving people and making them laugh.
The crowd starts to thin around 9:30 a.m. I grab a pastry and a cup of coffee. Amelia carries it to an oversized chair for me while I swing my way over there on my crutches. Jack sits across from me.
He says, “I’m going to have to dock your pay, you know. Eating on the job.”
I chuckle. “Yeah. Divide my pay in half. Zero divided by two. Looks like I’m going to be about even.”
Then I look at Jack earnestly. “This really was great. Thanks for suggesting I come. I love Bryce and Amelia too. They are solid.”
“They’ve been with me from day one. Consistent, loyal, and they know their way around all the machines. Bryce knows more about coffee origins, roasting and brewing than I do.”
“I’m so happy for you. This place is amazing.”
“It is. I’ll never regret leaving LA to start this up.”
I tell Jack, “So, bro. I’m having Mindy over for lunch.”
“Mindy, huh? Well, it’s about time.”
I say, “I’ll take that hit from you. You aren’t wrong.”
“In all seriousness, I’m proud of you. You’ve come back swinging. I hope things go well between you and Mindy.”
“I don’t know if Mindy and I are going to make this work. But I’m not going down without a fight. My leg wasn’t the only thing fractured in the accident. Something between Mindy and me shattered too. I have to believe if my leg can heal, we can.”
Jack says, “I fully agree. And, everyone is battling their own stuff. That’s all I know. Give her time.”
“That’s almost exactly what Kat said. You’d think the two of you were married and in cahoots or something.”
“We are most definitely married. I’m not in cahoots with her, though it sounds like something I might like to try after you move out.”
I shout, “TMI!” and pretend to cover my ears.
We laugh and it feels good. My brother literally pulled me back from the brink. He couldn’t have if I weren’t willing to be rescued. Thank God I was.
Jack says, “You know I went through some rough patches when Kat and I were dating. There were times I totally had to tiptoe around her because I had messed things up and I didn’t want to scare her off.”
I say, “That’s how I feel. I messed up. I don’t want to lose Mindy. I don’t even know if I can get her back.”
Jack asks, “You want my thoughts?”
“Call me crazy, but I actually do.”
“Ha!”
Jack leans back and gets a serious expression on his face.
Then he says, “Well, I say just take it for today. Don’t worry about the past or the future. Pretend this is a girl you like—I know you don’t have to pretend about that part—and you just invited her to lunch. Not, this is Mindy, the one I messed things up with. Not, this is Mindy the one I hope to spend my life with. Just, this is Mindy, a girl I really like that I want to have a nice afternoon with.”
I say, “Jack, that was surprisingly genius.”
“Of course, it was.”
I wad up my napkin and throw it at him.
After another hour at the shop, we get in the car and head home. True to his word, Jack brings me back before eleven. I head straight to the kitchen and get my ingredients out for the chocolate chocolate-chunk cookies I’m baking. I’ve got to make those first. Then I’ll make the pizza so it’s hot and fresh when we eat it.
I check the dough I made this morning. It rose perfectly. I’ve got a sauce secret. It’s kind of a cheater recipe. I take about three tablespoons of jarred spaghetti sauce, add a dash of sugar, some minced garlic, and Italian seasoning. Then I spread that on the crust thinly. Pizza sauce doesn’t have to be thick if it’s flavorful. Then I bake the sauce in a tad before adding toppings.
I’m hoping Mindy likes this pizza and somehow reads through the fact that I made it for her. I still love her. I told her under the influence of pain meds. I want to tell her again. Just not today. I have to build up to a place where she trusts me again and wants to hear those words from me.
The sound of Mindy’s car on the driveway comes through the window. The pizza’s in the oven. The cookies are on a cooling rack. I maneuver to the front door and out onto the porch. I see her get out of her car. Her hair blows lightly in the wind and she raises a hand to pull a strand of it out of her face. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. My heart is racing, and I feel the urge to catapult myself down the stairs and kiss her, but I know I have to hold back.
My mouth feels dry and my palms are slightly sweaty, but I’m trying to play off my nerves as she walks closer to the porch. She comes up the steps and gives me a little side hug. I’ll admit I’m disappointed she didn’t put more into it. I wonder if she’s seeing this as a step past our romance back into friendship, or if she’s just tiptoeing carefully so she doesn’t get hurt again. I’m trying to consider where we stand when she speaks.
“Hey, Caleb. It’s so good to see you up and about.”
I say, “It’s good to be up and about. I hope you brought an appetite.”
“I sure did. I know your cooking, so I just had a green drink for breakfast. This girl is ready to be fed.”
She cautiously smiles up at me and a swirl of thoughts and feelings rushes to my head. A lot is riding on this lunch.
I step aside and say, “Well, come on in.”
I try to sound casual and welcoming even though I’m a ball of nerves. I have the table set up already. I pull the pizza out of the oven and slice it.
“So, you have your choice of slices. I made a traditional pepperoni, and we have a veggie pizza with olives, onions, zucchini, and bell peppers.”
Mindy says, “Mmm. How about one slice of each.”
“Coming right up!”
I put the slices on our plates.
I ask Mindy, “Can you do me the favor of carrying our plates? I have to use both my hands for the crutches.”
Mindy takes the plates over. I see her eyeing the cookies.
“Are you making eyes at my chocolate chocolate-chunk cookies?”
She says, “I just might be.”
“Well, save room. Those are your dessert.”
“I always have room for chocolate.” She smiles.
I wish I had words for what that smile does to me. I have deprived myself of that smile. I missed her so much, my chest aches. Having her here is like coming home. Only, there’s this thin layer separating us. I built a wall, but I tore it down. Still, something seems to be keeping us from going back to the intimacy we had before the accident.
Jack’s words come back to me. Just this day. I’m just having lunch with a girl I really like—oh, man, do I rea
lly like her. We can build from here.
“So, ladies first. I want to see your reaction to the pizza.”
Mindy says, “I feel on the spot if you sit there watching me. Just eat.”
“Nope. I’m watching your first bite. Then I’ll dig in.”
“Alright then.”
She takes a bite of the pepperoni. The cheese stretches and she has to use her tongue to pull it into her mouth when it snaps free of the slice. I’m dying. It’s been well over a month since I’ve kissed Mindy. I want to reach over and kiss her right now.
Instead I ask her, “So. Good?”
“Mmmm. Hmmm. You seriously could be a chef. This pizza is unbelievable.”
“Well, let’s see what you think of the veggie one. Or do you have a code against mixing types of pizza.”
“Nope. When it comes to pizza, I’m all about equal opportunity.”
She takes a bite of the veggie pizza and lets out a little moan as she puts the slice on her plate and closes her eyes to swallow.
I ask her, “So? Do you have a favorite?”
“Nope. They are both amazing. Thank you so much. I feel spoiled.”
“Well, good. It makes me seriously happy to have you enjoy my cooking.”
The front door opens and shuts with a little bang. Mindy jumps and looks slightly unsettled. It’s Kat. She comes in the kitchen. Mindy suddenly looks not quite herself. I wonder what is up with her. She was so relaxed and now it’s like she wants to run out of here.
I ask her, “Mindy, you okay?”
She hesitantly says, “Yes. I’m okay.” Then she greets Kat.
Mindy’s nervousness seems to be growing. I’m trying to review what could have happened to make her so unsettled.
Kat says, “Hey, you two. Don’t let me interrupt. I’m just heading through to the office.”
Suddenly Kat turns and says, “Oh! Wait. Caleb made pizza?”
“Yes. I made pizza for Mindy.”
“Well, being that I’m one of Mindy’s best friends, I’m pretty sure she’d want me to take some to my office to help reduce the whole ‘where do we put these leftovers’ problem. Am I right Mindy?”
Mindy still looks disturbed about something. She answers, “Um. Yeah. Kat. That’s fine.”
Kat must notice it too because she asks, “Mindy, is everything alright?”
“Yeah. Uh, Kat, can we talk in the office for a second? Caleb, could you please excuse us?”
“Sure. I’ll be right here.”
I’m confused. Hopefully Kat will help Mindy come out of whatever is going on. We went from something flowing to her seeming to clamp shut.
Mindy and Kat go in the office. I hear bits and pieces of their conversation—something about the door slamming—the night—just needing to breathe. Is she saying she needs breathing room from me? I didn’t think I was coming on too strong. Maybe I need to dial it back a little. I don’t want to overwhelm her.
If I had my way, I’d be scooping her up and kissing her, telling her I love her, and reinstating our relationship status. We can work through the rest. I just want to tear through this veneer that is keeping us from returning to what we were—or what we could be. I’m going to play it a little cooler in case she feels pressured. The last thing I want to do is chase her off by coming on too strong.
Mindy and Kat come out of the office. It looks like Mindy might have been crying a little. She sits down at the table with me. Kat picks up a slice of pepperoni and leans against the counter eating it—in the middle of our date. That woman has no sense of boundaries sometimes.
Mindy says, “Sorry, Caleb. I just needed to talk to Kat about something really quickly. I didn’t mean to be rude and leave you here.”
I say, “You aren’t rude. Let’s finish eating so you can get a healthy dose of chocolate.”
Kat snags a cookie and says, “Now that’s an idea I can get behind.”
She walks away toward her office. I’d have given Kat four cookies if I knew it would clear the room.
The cookies seem to be very much to Mindy’s liking. I bag up a few to send home with her later. A girl with that kind of love for my cookies should have enough to eat the next day.
I ask Mindy, “Hey. How about we go on a walk. Do you have time? Or do you have to leave?”
She surprises me by saying, “I love walking, but today I’d rather stay inside if you don’t mind.”
Something isn’t right. Usually Mindy picks outdoors over indoors any day. And she’s looking around nervously like she’s waiting for someone to come in the house. I’m trying to shake off whatever is going on with her and keep moving us forward, but not be overbearing.
I ask her, “Okay. Well, how about we play a game of cards or watch a movie?”
“A movie sounds good. Let’s see what’s playing.”
We check out the options and land on The Princess Bride on Netflix. That movie is a classic, plus, I can privately pretend I’m Wesley and she’s Princess Buttercup.
I sit on the middle of the couch with my leg stretched out on the coffee table. I’m leaving room for her to sit next to me if she wants. She sits right next to me. She’s closed off, but not shut down. I have the urge to pull her in, but after the conversation I overheard between her and Kat, I know she wants room to breathe, so I hold back.
I can’t help but think how I’m back to the way I’ve felt my whole life with Mindy. This longing for her while she is unattainable is familiar territory. Just when I think that, she leans in and rests her head on my shoulder.
She says, “I love this movie.”
I want to answer, “I love you,” but I just let her continue to lean on me. I inhale the scent of her hair. She smells like flowers and chocolate. My chest tightens as I think of how much she means to me.
I’m restraining myself and barely able to concentrate on the movie, even during the funny scenes when Wesley is paralyzed, or they go to Magic Max for a potion. If she only knew how much I wanted to kiss her right now, maybe she’d get up and run out of this house for good. Maybe she’d kiss me back. I can’t take the chance of her running off. Today’s not the day to push my luck.
When the movie ends, Mindy stands up and says, “Thank you for lunch and the movie. I had a nice afternoon.”
I say, “Thanks for coming over. It was really good to see you. It’s been too long.”
“It has. Well. I’m going to go. I’ll see you, Caleb.”
“Okay. Let me walk you out.”
Mindy says, “No, It’s okay. I don’t want you to trouble yourself.”
“It’s no trouble.”
I grab my crutches, get her to-go cookies from the kitchen, and follow her to the door. She turns and smiles a meager smile at me as she says goodbye. Then she heads to her car and drives away.
I turn back into the house. I’m baffled.
“Kat! What the heck?” I scream as the door closes behind me.
Kat comes running to where I am. “What? What’s going on?”
“Why don’t you tell me? I invited Mindy here for lunch. I made my pizza—my special recipe. I bake her chocolate cookies. Chocolate, Kat. We were laughing. I think we even had some light flirtation going on. You showed up, and she turned into stone. She looked like she cried in your office. Then, we went to watch The Princess Bride—”
“I love that movie!”
“Kat, focus. We went to watch the movie; she leaned on me the whole time. I’m dying. I wanted to kiss her. I’d give the rest of my life to have been able to kiss her just once today. But, did I kiss her? No. I sat there inhaling the sweet scent of her hair, thinking of what we used to be and wondering how to get back what we lost. Then, when the movie ended, she ran out of here faster than Cinderella at eleven fifty-nine p.m. So, what is going on? I feel crazy confused, Kat.”
Kat says, “This is killing me right now. I’m Mindy’s close friend. I can’t talk about her with you. I love you, and you know I do. Can you just believe me that things aren’t what
they seem? Don’t give up. You two are meant for one another. Just hang in and don’t give up.”
chapter twenty-two
Mindy
I HURRY DOWN OFF THE porch of Kat and Jack’s home and drive away. My hands are shaky and my heart never did stop racing after it started. I call Shannon as I drive home from Caleb’s. My thoughts and emotions are a jumbled mess.
“Hey, Shannon.”
“Hey, Mindy. How are you doing? Sleeping better?”
“Overall, much better. I need to talk. Do you have time to meet me at my house? Or I can come to you?”
Shannon says, “I’ll come your way. I’ll just throw my shoes on and be there in a few.”
“I’m just now driving home too. I’ll meet you there. Thanks.”
I park out front. My heart is still beating a bit fast. That scare during lunch when the door slammed surprised me. I thought I was going to have a panic attack right in front of Caleb. That thought sent my heart racing. Even over two hours later, I feel the edginess of anxiety threatening to overtake me.
I walk to my porch. I’m not afraid. At least there’s that. I sit on my swing. I look up to see Shannon coming around the Morgans’ house. I shout out to her as she approaches.
“Hey, Shannon!”
“Hey, Mindy.”
She steps up onto the porch. I pat the spot next to me on the swing. “Want to stay out here, or go in?”
Shannon says, “You’re kidding, right? I love this swing. Let’s sit out here.”
“You want anything to drink?”
“No, I’m good. Thanks.”
She asks, “So, what was pressing enough to ask me over in a hurry? I’ll never complain about hanging with one of my best friends. It’s just you sounded a little urgent.”
I tell her, “Caleb had me over for lunch today.”
“That’s great! How long has it been since you’ve seen him?”
“About four weeks or so, I think. Before the attack, you know?”
She asks, “So, how did lunch go?”
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