by Nella Tyler
“No,” I smiled. “But your emphatic storytelling abilities gave it all away.”
I didn’t have to look at her to know she was rolling her eyes at me. I laughed and kissed her gently on the cheek. “Do you guys mind if I steal Lauren away for a few minutes?”
“Go ahead,” Beth nodded.
“We’ll give you five minutes,” Daniel said jokingly. “Then we’ll come looking for you two.”
Tyler laughed as Beth punched Daniel in the arm. “I’ll keep that in mind,” I said as I took hold of Lauren’s hand and led her away from the party and into a quiet, adjoining room where Mom kept her grand piano. The moment we were alone, Lauren moved straight towards the piano and sat down in front of it. She had always had this image of herself as a musician, but she was self-aware enough to recognize that she had absolutely no musical ability.
“I love this piano,” she said as leaned into it.
I joined her. “You say that every time you see this thing.”
“Because it’s true,” she replied. “I don’t understand why you don’t love it.”
“Because you weren’t forced to spend Saturday mornings sitting in front of it for two hours trying to remember musical notes with Mrs. Thierry.”
“You should have committed,” she insisted passionately. “You should have stuck with it.”
“I did.”
“Four months doesn’t count, Chase,” she said giving me major side eye. “Just think, if you had stuck with it, then you could have spent your Saturday mornings serenading me with song. You could have taught our children. You could have taught me!”
I smirked and then tried to cover up the smirk behind a cough.
“What?” she demanded as she raised one eyebrow expertly.
I smiled apologetically. “Sorry, hon,” I said. “It’s just that music doesn’t exactly come easily to you.”
She was about to argue, but then her face relaxed into acceptance and she sighed dramatically. “I blame my mother,” she replied. “She’s tone deaf, and she decided to pass that gene onto to me.”
I laughed. Sometimes it seemed like our lives were made up of a steady stream of conversations that we left off and picked up at any given time depending on the day, the mood, and the object in front of us. We had been together for so long that there was no longer a beginning and end to the things we spoke about. We were like waves that came and went of their own accord, disregarding the rules and thrilling in that disregard.
“I was looking at houses the other day,” I told Lauren in the abrupt manner that usually started off most of our conversations.
“You were?”
“I think it’s time for us to invest in a home of our own.”
“We have a home of our own,” she reminded me.
“We have an apartment, which I’ll admit is our home, but we don’t own it,” I said. “We should own a home, don’t you think?”
Lauren looked at me carefully for a moment and then she smiled. “I always wanted a house of my very own. Living in apartments your whole life kind of makes you look at houses with a whole new respect.”
“So you’d be interested in purchasing a house?”
“Can we even afford one?” Lauren asked as her brow wrinkled. It usually did that when we discussed money.
“We can now,” I told her. “Or have you forgotten that you’re sleeping with an NFL football player?”
She laughed, and her green eyes burned a little brighter when she did. “I have some money saved up, too.”
“You need that money to open up your gym one day,” I said quickly. “I’ll take care of the house.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Does it even matter?” I asked reasonably. “What’s mine is yours. I don’t even think of it as my money; it’s our money and I want to buy us a house.”
“I’d still like to contribute something,” Lauren insisted in typical fashion.
I kissed her on the forehead. “Okay,” I agreed, knowing that she wouldn’t give up until she had exacted some form of acquiescence from me.
“Good,” she smiled happily.
“We could move right after your graduation?” I suggested. “Provided we find the right house.”
She nodded enthusiastically. “Sounds like an adventure,” she said, and I could see anticipation flit through her eyes as she imagined the house she had always dreamt of living in. It was the imaginative fervor that had drawn me to her. She was childlike in her dreams, simple as they were, and it made me want to dream, too.
I leaned in and kissed her tenderly. Her lips parted willingly against mine, and I pulled her as close to me as the piano would allow. We were wrapped around each other like teenagers under the bleachers when the door opened and Lauren and I jumped apart instinctively.
“Oh, excuse me,” my mom said as her cheeks colored slightly. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“No, no you didn’t,” Lauren rushed to say as she tried to suppress a laugh.
“What is it, Mom?” I asked, not quite suppressing my own laugh.
“We have a little surprise for you,” she said. “Your brother is on Skype, and he would like to congratulate you.”
I glanced at Lauren in delight, not having expected a Skype call from Braden today. I grabbed Lauren’s hand and we rushed up the stairs together and into the first room on the right, which served as my mother’s lounge and study. Her laptop was open and dad was sitting in front of it. He looked up as we entered and swiveled the screen around to face us, revealing Braden’s burnished face.
“Braden!” I said pulling up a chair and pulling the screen a little closer to me. “Hi, dude!”
“Hi, little brother,” Braden said. “You look huge.”
I laughed. “Thanks, I think.”
“No, no, that was a compliment,” he hastened to assure me. “Is that little Laurie on the left of the screen?”
“Hi, Braden!” Lauren said, bending down a little so that her face was visible to him. “It’s so amazing to see you.”
“I miss you guys!” he replied. “I wish I could have been there to celebrate with you. Congrats, little brother. Rookie of the year: who would’ve thought.”
“Just me, apparently,” Lauren laughed.
“Seems like it,” Braden nodded. He was dressed in a white shirt that showed how large and muscular he was. He had on his dog tags and a tan that most Los Angeles residents would kill for. “I’m proud of you, bro. You did good.”
“Please,” I said dismissively. “It’s nothing compared to what you’re doing out there.”
“Well, obviously,” Braden said jokingly. “I was just trying to big you up a bit.”
It felt wonderful to laugh together. I missed Braden the most when I was sitting in front of the computer Skyping him. As nice as it was to have some means of communication, it just reminded me of the distance between us. It reminded me of the different paths our lives had taken. I remembered that feeling of emptiness I had as I watched Braden walk into the airport in his uniform for that first deployment. I had wanted so much to do the same.
I had never lost the desire to enlist; it had always been there, the nagging, little voice in the back of my head daring me to see if I was brave enough. In the end, I hadn’t been, and my life had taken on a familiar yet comforting pattern. But I never stopped missing Braden and I never stopped feeling as though I had lost my brother the minute he had signed those enlistment papers.
Chapter Three
Lauren
“You okay?” I asked as we stepped out of Mrs. Morgan’s study together, leaving behind Chase’s parents so they could say their goodbyes to Braden.
Chase’s face was paler, and his eyes had lost their brightness. They were subtle changes, but I had long ago learnt to read his face and all the little nuances in between. It wasn’t just that I could read how he felt – a part of me could feel what he felt, too. Braden was his hero and it had been hard for Chase having him live so far away in suc
h dangerous situations.
“I’m fine,” Chase nodded, but he said it distractedly, so I knew that he wasn’t being altogether sincere.
I slipped my hand into his and pulled him back down the stairs in the direction of the party. “Come on,” I said, hoping to take his mind off his brother. “Your party’s not over yet.”
Even as I said the words, I could sense that the party was well and truly over for Chase. He smiled and laughed and spoke when he was engaged in conversation, but the breezy happiness that had engulfed him all night had dissipated and I knew him well enough to know it was not coming back.
“Are you ready to go home?” I asked, rubbing his arm with my hand in a gesture that had started when we were fourteen and I was trying to be comforting without being obvious about it.
“Yes, please,” Chase nodded promptly.
We said our goodbyes to everyone amidst a throng of protests, thanked Mr. and Mrs. Morgan, and finally stepped out into the quiet of the large, circular drive that led away from the house. The night was crisp and cool, but the breeze had a warm note that licked against my skin. We got into our car and drove home in silence with only the dulcet tones of Pat Benatar to cover up the sounds of our breathing.
We lived in a small apartment about 45 minutes from where Chase’s parents lived. It was in a nice, quiet neighborhood that we’d only been able to afford because of rent control. All the same, the apartment was tiny. We had one bathroom, one bedroom, a matchbox kitchen that drove me crazy at least once a week, and a living room that we spent most of our time in because it was the biggest space in the whole apartment.
We walked inside, and I turned on the lights as Chase moved to the sofa and sank down into it, staring ahead at the television without really seeing it. I removed my jacket and hung it up before I walked over to him and sat down.
I watched him for a few minutes, but he didn’t speak the whole time and I was starting to worry. He was usually introspective after talking to Braden, but it was the kind of introspection that faded after the first hour. There were lines on Chase’s forehead that highlighted his intense preoccupation and still, I didn’t want to intrude.
“Would you like to get ready for bed?” I asked gently.
He nodded absentmindedly, but when I pulled him from the sofa, he didn’t resist. He allowed me to lead him into the bedroom and then he started removing his clothes while I moved into the bathroom to brush my teeth and change out of my clothes. By the time I moved back into the bedroom, Chase was lying flat on the bed, naked except for his boxers. He was staring at the ceiling and his eyes were glazed over.
I slid into bed beside him and leaned down to kiss his cheek. At the touch, he turned his face in my direction and gave me a small, distracted smile.
“Sorry,” he said. “I’ve been quiet, haven’t I?”
“Is it Braden?” I asked.
“Yes,” Chase nodded.
“You miss him,” I said simply.
“I do,” he agreed. “But it’s more than that.”
I propped myself up on one elbow and looked down at him. “Tell me.”
“He’s really doing something with his life,” he said after a moment’s pause. “He’s doing something with purpose.”
“You have purpose,” I pointed out.
“No, I don’t,” Chase said passionately. “My job is a game. I throw around a ball on a field and people cheer for me. Braden is out there risking his life every day to keep his country safe. That is meaningful. That is…purposeful.”
“What are you saying?” I asked gently, trying to help him articulate what exactly it is he wanted to say. “Are you saying you want that, too?”
He looked away from me for a moment as his eyes unfocused for a short second. Then he turned towards me and reached for my hand. “I suppose a part of me does,” he admitted. “I want to feel that useful. I want to contribute in some way and I want it to mean something.”
I smiled. “I know,” I said. “And, I understand.”
“You do?” he asked with a small note of surprise in his voice.
“Of course I do,” I nodded. “That’s why I love you. You’re the type of man who wants to do something in the world and you want it to matter. I’ve always admired that about you.”
“I haven’t ever done anything about it though,” Chase said softly, as though he were ashamed of himself.
“But you’ve always wanted to,” I said. “And that desire has always been sincere.”
He nodded. “I just…I’m confused.”
“About what?”
“What am I supposed to do with this feeling?” he asked, looking at me as if I could provide him with the answers.
He looked at me as though I could fix everything wrong with his world and I felt that familiar tug in my heart. I had always relished that role. I wanted to be the one who could fix everything. In a way, a part of me felt that that was my purpose in life.
“Maybe you should enlist,” I suggested seriously, without taking my eyes off Chase.
He stared at me for a moment and then his face broke out into a smile. “Are you being serious?”
“Of course,” I nodded.
“You would be okay with me enlisting?” he asked again.
I hesitated a moment, gathering my thoughts and trying to formulate my explanation. “I’m here to support you in whatever you decide to do,” I started. “I know that this desire to enlist isn’t some spur-of-the-moment decision. You’ve wanted to do it ever since you were fourteen. If the feeling has lasted this long, then I’m willing to bet that it’s not going anywhere. If this is what you need to do…then I’m going to keep my promise and support you a hundred percent.”
Chase stared at me for a moment and then he pulled me on top of him so suddenly that it knocked the wind out of me. “Ah!” I screamed, but his lips were on mine before I could say anything more.
When he finally broke away, I was laughing and gasping for breath at the same time. “What was that for?” I asked, trying to get my bearings.
“You are amazing, you know that?” Chase said, and the brightness had come back into his eyes.
“I’ve always suspected as much,” I joked.
“It means so much to me that you would put me first like that,” he said. “It means so much that you would support me that way.”
“That’s what we do for each other,” I reminded him. “Otherwise there’s no point.”
He nodded thoughtfully and then kissed me again.
“Would you really consider enlisting?” I asked cautiously.
He sighed. “I don’t know if I’m brave enough.”
“I know you are.”
He smiled again, but there was an edge of uncertainty that touched his eyes. “My football career just kicked off,” he said as though he were talking to himself. “You and I are going to buy a house. I can’t enlist; the idea is crazy. It doesn’t fit into my world anymore.”
“Then what does?”
He cupped my face with his hand and turned gently so that we were lying side by side, facing each other. “You do,” he said. “You are the only constant that will always fit into my world.”
I laughed lightly. “I can live with that.”
“Good,” Chase nodded as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him.
We kissed slowly at first, and then more passionately as the seconds ticked by. We had been together nine years and sleeping together for seven; we had the art of love-making down to a science, but there were moments when it still felt new and exciting. More often than not, it was familiar and comforting, and that suited me just fine.
As Chase’s tongue slipped past my lips, my hands explored the hard wall of muscle that covered his stomach. I sighed against him and my hand moved further down until I had the shaft of his penis gripped firmly in the palm of my hand. I massaged him gently, moving my hand up and down the length of him, feeling as he stiffened against me.
Then his hands trave
lled up my legs to my thighs, pushing up my cotton nightdress so he could pull off my panties. His fingers slipped inside me and I felt the familiar burst of expectation that usually accompanied the start of sex. His fingers moved in and out of my cunt slowly, and then harder, until he was pummeling into me. My fingers clasped tight around his penis, and I rolled to my back as Chase moved on top of me in a practiced move.
He removed his fingers from inside me and started teasing me with the tip of his penis. I sighed deeply, yearning with anticipation. He reached out and pushed down the straps of my nightdress to reveal my breasts. Leaning in, he took a nipple into his mouth as he continued to titillate me with the tip of his penis.
When he finally slid inside me, I was well and truly wet and the feel of his hard cock inside me sent a thrill of pleasure hurtling through my body. I loved that he could still make me feel that way after so long. We kissed ravenously as he fucked me, changing the rhythm of his movements so that I went from heavy breathing to quiet moaning within the span of minutes.
“Are you close?” he whispered in my ear, and I could see from his face that he was close to cumming.
“It’s fine,” I whispered back. “I want you to cum.” I pushed my hips against him, spurring him on and bringing his orgasm to fruition.
“Fuck,” he breathed through gritted teeth as he pulled out quickly and came on my stomach.
Once our breathing had slowed, Chase reached for the box of tissues that always lay beside our bed and wiped me clean. Then, he settled into bed beside me pulled me close.
“Tomorrow I’m going to make you cum,” he whispered into my ear.
I smiled. “I’ll hold you to that,” I said as I kissed him, biting his lip gently in the process.
“When we move into our new house, our bedroom is going to be the size of this entire apartment,” he said, his voice taking on the sleepy fantasy of dreams.
“Really?” I said intrigued. “That big?”
“Bigger even,” he nodded against my shoulder. “And, we’re going to have a real kitchen, one that doesn’t make you claustrophobic, and a back yard.”
“Sounds magical.”