“Why is that? Because love is good and kind and right? I’m sorry, but the world doesn’t care about that. The world isn’t just or fair, and your love will not save the day. Hatred and fear are already winning. It almost doesn’t matter if the werewolves should somehow win the war. The demons will swoop in and kill the rest. Soon enough, there won’t be any packs at all. Romelia’s mother almost wiped out an entire pack, and she should have finished the job. It was my fault. I distracted her, I’m afraid.”
“I’m a member of that pack,” I spit out.
"Now, how's that for irony? I really should have allowed your pack to have been destroyed entirely. Then my daughter wouldn't have been poisoned by your love."
“Love isn’t poison,” I protest.
“No? Are you so certain about that? Because I’m sure you know about Constantine, don’t you? He loves my daughter, but even I can see that his love is a bit… unconventional.”
I snort. “You sold her to a vampire who doesn’t truly care for her. He doesn’t want what’s best for her—”
"And you do? You who are here fighting verbally with me because I won't actually fight you physically?" He shakes his head and chuckles to himself. "You don't realize it, do you?" her father asks. "You have no idea what's actually happening, do you?"
“Realize what?” I spit out. “What’s going on?”
“Romelia is dead,” he claims. “My daughter, your love, is dead and gone.”
Chapter 17
Julian
Romelia’s father meant what he said. He said I wouldn’t die for her.
He meant that I would die with her.
Because I can’t bear to think of breathing without her. I can’t. In fact, I start to cough. I’ve always said that Romelia is my breath, and right now, I feel like I can’t breathe. My lungs burn, and I try to focus, to feel that connection to Romelia that I’ve always felt.
And I can’t.
It’s because I’m panicking. That’s why. He’s causing me to doubt Romelia, and that just won’t do.
I glower at him. “You’re lying.”
Her father cocks his head to the side. “Am I?”
“You’re a demon. That’s what you do.”
“Yes, we can lie, unlike fairies, but that doesn’t mean we can’t also tell the truth.” He grins, revealing his sharp, pointed teeth. “But if you don’t believe me, go ahead. Go to her side. See her dead body for yourself. For claiming to love her, you should be able to know if she breathes or not, but you don’t know. You can’t tell, and that makes me doubt your love.”
“You have no right to question my love!”
"Is that so? You don't have to shout, but I do have to wonder why it is that you're here, covered in blood, having clearly fought in the war that you supposedly want to be done and over with instead of being with my daughter who you profess to love. To me, there's a disconnection, and I don't understand your logic. You claim to love Romelia, yet you came here because you wanted to fight me, did you not?"
I grit my teeth. Yes, I came here to stop Romelia's father, and I had been willing to fight him if I needed to, but I knew then as I know now that a fight with her father would mean I would die. But I would've done it. I would've died to try to stop the war.
But if Romelia is dead…
She can’t be.
She just can’t be.
In a daze, I turn around, but I don't take that first step away from him. If I do, I'm too afraid of where the journey will take me. I don't want to believe Romelia's father, but why would he lie about this? He has no reason to want me gone from his house.
He just might be telling the truth.
“I don’t know what you’re waiting for,” her father taunts.
“Have you said goodbye to her?” I snap, whirling back around. “Or do you not care about her because she’s dead and can’t be used as a pawn for your world domination plan?”
“Oh, you’re a feisty one, aren’t you? I can see why my daughter might’ve liked you.”
“She loves me.”
“Loved, wolf. Loved. She’s dead.”
I shake my head.
He sighs. “You’re delusional, wolf.”
“My name is Julian. Julian Moonblaze. And your daughter? She’s Romelia Moonblaze.”
His eyes flash with surprise.
“Yes. We married. Our love won’t end with our deaths, though. That’s something you can’t possibly understand, though, so don’t bother trying. I love her, and she loves me. Dead or not, our love will only grow.”
A howl bursts out of me, the sound one of desperate longing, and I race away. I’m my wolf after I take two steps.
Somehow, despite my aching heart, despite my racing thoughts, I hear something beneath the ragged breathing. Yes, beneath, not above. Not beside. I hear the voice inside of me, in my mind and in my heart.
Julian… Why couldn’t I have hallucinated you? I would love to slip away into oblivion held in your arms. To die with your kiss on my lips. To have the echo of your lips saying I love you one last time.
I’m so sorry, Julian. I don’t want to leave you, but maybe, maybe I’m going to a place you can follow. Maybe on the other side, we can be together, and we can be happy. We can be free.
Free to love one another. Free to be together.
Free to live.
Julian, you are my life, and I know I am yours. Do not mourn me, and do not cry. Join me if you wish, but do not stop. You can live with your parents, with your friends, with your siblings. I will wait for you. I'll always wait for you.
But if you join me now, I won’t blame you. I’ll embrace you, and we can start anew. All I need is you. You are all I need.
Peace in death.
She might truly be dead. She’s dying or dead. My love. She’s leaving me, but she isn’t going to a place I won’t follow. I will join her in death if I must. If that’s the only way to be with her, then so be it. I will be reunited with her once more.
It seems to take years for me to reach Blackhope Manor, but it doesn’t take me long to realize that Romelia isn’t here. Why would she be here? She ran off to try to help Mercy.
Mercy. Is she dead too? What is going on? How could I have lost track of what is most important?
But was I was right to try to stop the war? Isn’t that bigger and better than being selfish and only worrying about my friends and loved ones? Our classmates, our packmates, they’re fighting, dying too.
I’m so utterly confused that I stumble, and I almost fall against a side table. The vase on it topples over, and I grab it but not before the contents—flowers and water—spill out onto the floor.
Nothing is going right, and Romelia… Romelia…
A sob is stuck in my throat, and I cough, trying to dislodge it. There's a lump forming in my throat and another in my stomach, and I think I might be physically ill from the thought of losing my love.
Although I don’t hear footsteps, I can sense another presence, and I carefully pick up the flowers, earning myself a puncture wound from a thorn in the process, before I look to see who is there. The wound throbs from the thorn, but I feel as if a wall of thorns is enclosed around my heart, the thorns slicing my heart into shreds as I meet Tyra’s gaze.
Her stony gaze.
Her tear-filled eyes.
Her trembling lips.
“Romelia,” I say, staggering to my feet. “Her father said… He said she’s…”
“Yes,” Tyra snaps. “Yes, Romelia died, and it’s all your… Why didn’t you come? Why didn’t you leave that stupid battle behind? Who the hell are you to claim that you love her when you weren’t by her side when she needed you the most?”
I hang my head as she continues to berate me. I have no defense. Romelia is gone, and I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye.
My heart is breaking. No, I am breaking. I can't survive this. There's no way this can end any other way. Soon enough, I'll be dead too. I'll join Romelia, and we can have our peace a
s we share our love.
Maybe I’ll go back to her father and force him to do it. Try to end the war in her name.
Or I’ll fight Constantine. There’s no way I will allow him to get the better of me, but the world would be a much better place without him and his foul plan for the future, without his foul, corrupt sense of love. I will end him, kill him, and then I’ll kill myself.
It’s the only way. It’s what has to be.
“Are you even listening to me?” Tyra demands.
I say nothing. I’m not listening. If she wants an answer from me, I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what the question is.
She stomps over to me, an incredible feat for a vampire considering they normally move noiselessly, and she shakes my shoulders, rattling me.
“This is all your fault!” she shrieks. She slaps my shoulders as bloody tears stream down her face. “You did this to her. You and your love! If you never came to the Red Moon Ball, if you never met her, she would still be alive! None of this would’ve ever happened! She would be with—”
“Constantine?” I ask, my voice alien. It’s completely devoid of emotion, and it takes me a moment to realize that her father spoke in this exact same way. “Constantine who didn’t love her, who can’t love her. Not the way I did. I love her, Tyra, and I won’t allow you or anyone else to think that’s a mistake. She and I love each other.”
“She’s dead!” Tyra screams.
“She and I love each other,” I repeat. “Death isn’t the end. It’s just another beginning.”
Tyra slams me hard in the face, hard enough to leave a welt.
I slowly turn to give her the other cheek.
Without hesitating, she strikes me again.
“Go ahead,” I murmur. “Let out all of your anger and hatred, just like you did with Mercy.”
“You…” Tyra takes a step back and shakes her head. “You want me to kill you?”
“Why not? It would be fitting.”
“More than you know,” she murmurs. “No, Julian, don’t ask that of me.”
“Yes.” I step forward. “I can’t handle this. I won’t handle this. There’s nothing for me here.”
“What? No, you can’t honestly believe—”
“Peace in death,” I murmur.
Her eyes widen. “Julian, you can’t… Romelia… She would want you to live a long life and then join her. Later. After you’re old and gray and—”
“I won’t have you tell me how to live my life!” I glower at her, and she slides back, her eyes wide with fear. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to kill myself, so, yes, Tyra, I am asking you.”
She shakes her head. "I am not… I won't give in to that side of me. I won't. I refuse! I'm a living vampire, which means I'm a vampire and a demon, yes, but I won't lose control, not anymore. I’ve been… I think I can control the demon side, and I won’t unleash it. Not for you, not for anyone. No. I won’t.”
“Without Romelia—”
“You still have a life to live. The vampires, the werewolves… You can still try to stop the fighting even without her by your side. You love her. You can honor her legacy, but you can only do that if you live!”
“I don’t deserve to live,” I inform her. “She should have been the one to survive and outlive the other, not me. She was so much better than any other vampire, than any other demon. She tried to be good and kind, and she never harmed a fly.”
"Not true. Romelia hated flies. She used to swat them all the time until we got a candle to keep them out of the castle." Tyra almost smiles, and her eyes fill with tears again. "She didn't need a flyswatter, of course. Her hand was fast enough that the flies didn't stand a chance. She killed flies."
I blink a few times.
“Sorry,” she mutters. “You were trying to give a eulogy, and I interrupted. Go ahead.”
“I wasn’t giving her a eulogy,” I protest. “I was just speaking from the heart, telling the truth. Romelia could have changed the entire world. She should’ve been given that chance, and I… I don’t think I can forgive myself for not being there for her. What happened?”
“Do you really want to know?” Tyra asks glumly. “Because you hate me enough as it is. You’re only going to hate me that much more when you learn the truth.”
“Did you kill her?”
Tyra hesitates. “Indirectly.”
I stalk over to her and then throw an arm around her shoulders. She stiffens and then relaxes.
"You were Romelia's closest friend. You're my friend now too, whether or not you want to be."
“I don’t think that’s how friendships work,” she protests.
“That’s how ours is going to,” I declare.
Tyra just shakes her head. “If anyone deserves to die because of Romelia’s death, it’s me, not you.”
Chapter 18
Julian
I eye my new friend skeptically. “How so?”
“Mercy. She was dying. Nothing we did could help to save her, and, well, I say we, but I wasn’t the one trying. Romelia was.”
“I wasn’t either,” I mumble. “The war, Constantine… I got sidetracked.”
“Yes, well, Romelia can be very single-minded, and she found a potion that transferred the ailment, the sickness, the whatever you want to call it to her. Mercy’s fine. She’s completely better, but Romelia…”
“She died as a result,” I assume.
Tyra nods. “I killed her. I was trying to fight for her honor, for her to open her eyes and realize that werewolves are nothing like us, that they’re terrible creatures, more animals than man, and I was the one in the wrong. I was more demon than woman, more… I don’t know. My hatred blinded me, and as a result, Romelia is dead. Because I couldn’t accept that she loved a werewolf, and if I had…”
“Not just loved a werewolf,” I remind Tyra. “That she married one.”
"Yes. I thought Romelia was blinded by your looks, and I thought for sure that you had nefarious intentions against her. I didn't even think for one second that you truly loved her, that she truly loved you. I was wrong. I was so very wrong, and now she's dead, and it's all my fault."
We’re silent for a long moment.
After a bit, Tyra jerks away from me. “You should’ve been there for her, with her at the end.”
“I wish I had been, but I have a feeling I would be already dead if I witnessed her dying.”
Tyra shakes her head. “I won’t let you kill yourself to be with her.”
“I won’t, not this very second at least. I have something to do first.”
“What’s that?”
“I need to stop the war.”
“I don’t know if that’s possible. I didn’t want to accept you two. Do you honestly think that werewolves and vampires who don’t know you or Romelia will just stop fighting because you two happened to fall in love with each other?”
"I have to try," I say grimly. "I have to give Romelia's death meaning before I join her."
“Julian…”
“There’s no point in trying to get me to change my mind.”
“But let’s say that you’re successful, that the war between vampires and werewolves ends. Why do you have to die? Why can’t you help to keep the peace?”
“Because my peace is with her,” I say simply.
Tyra scowls and shakes her head. “Maybe Bermon and Mercy can talk some sense into you,” she murmurs.
I shrug. "You can try, but I can be single-minded too."
Tyra grunts, shakes her head, and then surprises us both by hugging me. “Don’t kill yourself,” she says, “not yet at least.”
“Not yet,” I promise, but I grab her wrist. “You aren’t going to leave, are you?”
“I was going to,” she says slowly. “Why? Do you not want to be alone?”
“I want to see her,” I say, my throat turning dry, my words coming out rasped and hoarse.
“Are you sure you’re up for that?”
“I ne
ed to see her. Please. Where is she?”
“She’s… She’s… I plan on moving her to the Covenshade family crypt. There aren’t a ton who are in there already, but there’s a place ready for her and her mom. Her father too, I suppose, but demons and vampires… they don’t always die, you know? Unless they’re killed. I’m pretty sure there’s a spot for her mother, though. When we were little, Romelia and I once played hide and seek there, so we found the spot waiting for her mother. Why it’s there… I didn’t think about that before when I was young, but now… it’s creepy. It’s as if her father expected his wife to die. Like he’s assuming that will happen. Maybe he even is planning on doing it himself. Who knows? But living vampires do die, so it’s necessary… It was always necessary for there to be a spot for Romelia.”
“Where is it?”
“Behind their castle. It’s underground. I can take you to it.”
“No, no, I know how to get to their place. I was just there, actually.”
“You were? You really do have a death sentence!”
“I spoke with her father, yes, but we didn’t fight.”
“You wanted to, didn’t you?”
“You know me pretty well, actually.”
Tyra shakes her head. “No. If you want to go there… Let me bring her there first. Give me two minutes. I’ll be back in a flash, and I’ll take you to her. Please?”
“You should only need one minute,” I say suspiciously.
She hangs her head. “I want to change her clothes.”
“Fine.”
The two minutes drag on until I think I might go crazy, but then Tyra returns, and I follow the vampire to the Covenshade castle. We head there at an angle so that we don't approach the castle head-on. The entrance to the crypt is beneath a dogwood tree. In my haste, I descend the stairs so fast that I'm almost on top of Tyra. The vampire doesn't complain. The crypt is in a stone catacomb, and I find myself not looking around, just straight ahead, wanting to see only my love and nothing else.
When we emerge from the staircase, Tyra steps to the side.
There, lying on a slab of steel is Romelia. She looks gorgeous, as if she's merely sleeping or resting, and tears form in my eyes at the sight of her in our wedding dress. Did Tyra know that's what Romelia wore? My love is even holding in her hands the bouquet of black silk roses from that joyous occasion.
Blood Haven: Year Three: A Mayhem of Magic World Story Page 11