by A. M. Myers
“Oh, no, you don’t.”
Izzy sighs and shakes her head. “Well, now I’m just more intrigued about all of your names.”
“Let’s see. Fuzz was a cop,” Kodiak says, pointing to Fuzz, who tips his hat at us, and Izzy smiles. “Smith is just because that’s his last name.”
“Super unoriginal,” she says to him, and he shrugs as he takes a drink of his beer.
“Storm here was named by Red’s old lady. She said he always looked like he had a storm brewing in his mind because of his eyes.”
Izzy glances over at us and nods. “Yeah, I could see that. Not so much anymore.”
I grin and Logan squeezes me tighter, kissing my cheek.
“Aw. It makes me want to barf,” Streak says, and the guys laugh as someone nudges Logan.
“Ah, Streak got his name because he’s the luckiest son of a bitch you’ve ever met. Seriously, don’t ever play cards with him.”
“I’ve just got skills, Bro,” Streak says, and Kodiak shakes his head.
“No, what you’ve got is like some crazy voodoo magic that I want no part in.”
“I’ve got to go with Kodiak on this one, Streak,” Blaze says from the table next to us. “I’ve never met a guy who finds more money layin’ on the ground than you do.”
“Whatever,” Streak mumbles, a smile still on his face as he sips his beer.
“Who’s left? Oh, Chance – also just his name. Super unoriginal. And Blaze is because he used to like to play with fire a little too much.”
“Keywords there, used to,” Blaze says, and Kodiak nods.
“Wait. What about you?” Carly asks, and when I glance over at her, I smile. Chance is also staring at my best friend like he can’t drag his eyes away.
“Mine is ‘cause I’m from Alaska.”
“Wait, hold on. That’s only part of it,” Moose says, his cheeks finally returning to their regular color. “You know how grizzly bears in Alaska are so much bigger and meaner than ones you find in the lower forty-eight?”
“Yeah,” Carly says, nodding. Moose motions to Kodiak, who just rolls his eyes.
“Oh, please, I’m just a big teddy bear.”
“Is that why you almost got arrested when you went home last year and saw that guy talking to your baby sister?”
Kodiak growls and takes a sip of his beer. “Whatever. That little fucker had it coming.”
“I feel like we’re forgetting someone,” Smith says, leaning forward and looking around the circle.
“Henn,” Logan says from behind me. Kodiak snaps his fingers.
“That’s right. Blaze tells that story the best though.”
Blaze chuckles and leans forward, placing his beer on the table. “When Henn was prospecting in, we had a party one night. The guys had been riding him hard cause some of them didn’t think he belonged in the club and he wanted to prove himself. He drank so much goddamn Hennessey that he just ran around the clubhouse naked screaming, ‘I am Hennessey!’ at the top of his lungs.” He shrugs. “The name stuck.”
“Oh, man, that’s great,” Izzy says, sighing as she stands. “Now, which one of you is gonna show me where the booze is?”
Kodiak jumps up and smirks at her. “I got ya, Darlin’.”
“Mmhmm,” she hums, walking off with Kodiak following behind her with his tongue wagging. I lean into Logan’s arms, giggling as I watch my friend lay it on thick as she disappears into the clubhouse.
“Let’s get some music going,” Streak says, hopping up and pulling a remote out of his pocket. He pushes a button and Thunder Kiss ’65 by Rob Zombie starts playing. The guys all break off into different groups, talking and laughing as they drink, and when I glance around, I realize that Carly is gone.
“Did you see where Carly went?” I ask, and Logan nods.
“She disappeared with Chance.”
I laugh and shake my head. “I can’t say that I’m surprised.”
Before he can say anything, his phone rings and he lifts me off his lap for a second to grab it. I half-heartedly listen as he talks to whoever is on the other end of the line, and when he hangs up, he squeezes me.
“You want to go home, Kitten?”
I whip my head around to look at him. “What?”
“That phone call I just got was from a buddy who is helping us deal with our little situation. It’s over. We can go home.”
The news slowly sinks in, and a smile stretches across my face. I’m free. “Yeah, I wanna go home.”
He nods and stands, setting me on top of the table. “Wait right here. I just need to go talk to Kodiak for a second.”
I watch him disappear into the clubhouse, feeling one hundred pounds lighter knowing that this is really over and Logan and I can move on with our lives.
* * * *
Logan nervously glances at me from across the cab of the truck, and I turn to face him, studying him as his gaze remains firmly on the road. He’s been antsy since we packed up and left the clubhouse but I can’t figure out why. He should be happy right now.
“Are you sure we’re safe?” I ask, watching his reaction closely. When he looks at me, I can see the certainty in his gaze.
“Yeah, Baby. You never have to worry about this again.”
His grip tightens around the steering wheel as we pull up in front of my house and he throws the truck in park. “Then why are you agitated?”
“Let’s go inside,” he says, opening his door and avoiding my gaze.
“No. Tell me what’s wrong.” Anxiousness descends over me, and my mind works in overdrive, trying to figure out what is bothering him so much. Why isn’t he happy that we’re finally free?
He runs a hand over his face, fear filling his eyes. “Kitten, we’ve got a lot of talkin’ to do tonight. Please, can we just go inside?”
Eyeing him warily, I scoot across the seat and hop down. He grabs our bag out of the bed and grabs my hand, lacing our fingers as we walk up to the house. I can’t help but glance around, looking for any hidden threat that may be lurking in the shadows, and I don’t think that habit will go away anytime soon. How could it? I’m a completely different person than I was before. It’s a lot like how I changed when Adam cheated on me. Before this whole mess started, I walked around with this naïve sense of optimism but not anymore.
Now, I know what kinds of things lurk in the shadows.
Logan unlocks the door and steps aside, motioning for me to go in first, and he steps in behind me, shutting and locking the door behind him. Looking around my house, everything looks the same but it feels so different – tainted by the memories of someone stalking me.
“Do you want to sit?” he asks, and I peek over my shoulder just as he runs his hand over his hair.
“Why don’t you tell me what you want since you look like you’re about to fall apart?”
He looks down the hall before his gaze flicks to the living room. “In here is fine.”
I nod and march into the living room, ready to get this conversation started because he’s driving me crazy with his nervous tics. Sitting down on the couch, I fold my legs underneath me, and turn to face Logan as he sits next to me.
“I haven’t been completely honest with you,” he whispers, clearing his throat as he looks up at me.
“You lied to me?” My heart beats a little faster, the pain poised on the edge and ready to invade my body as I wait for his answer.
“No. I never lied to you. I just never told you the whole truth. Maybe you would have understood me better through this whole thing but I’ve done things, and the thought of losing you because of that…well, I couldn’t stand it.”
I nod. “I’m listening.”
He glances up at me and the uncertainty in his eyes breaks my heart. What could he possibly have to tell me that would make him so scared? Reaching out, I grab his hand and pull it into my lap, giving it a squeeze to encourage him.
“I met Sophia about a year after I was discharged from the Army. When she found me, I wa
s in a dark place, Baby. I had lost friends over there and seen things that I thought would haunt me forever. I blamed myself for the death of my best friend, and she made it easier. She helped me work through it and deal with it all. I guess we needed each other because she had gotten out of an abusive relationship, and we helped each other heal.”
I nod, my eyes watering. I hate hearing about his pain, and if I could do anything to take it away, I would.
“Her ex, Ian – he was a nasty son of a bitch but his family came from old southern money, and he could put on a show better than anyone else I’ve ever met. She tried to get help but no one would believe her because he was just that good of an actor. One night, he beat her so bad that she could barely stand but somehow she stumbled out of their house and ran to a gas station that was just down the road. She barely made it in the door before she passed out in Blaze’s arms.”
I nod, the entire picture starting to come together in my mind.
“Blaze took one look at her face and carried her out to his truck. He knew he had to save her. Ian pulled up to the gas station and when he got out, not a hair was out of place but he had hit her so hard that his knuckles were bruised and swollen. Blaze told him that if he ever came around her again, he would put a bullet between his eyes, and believe me, back then he would have without a second thought.”
“I can’t even picture him like that,” I say, trying to imagine Blaze the way Logan is describing him.
“Yeah, he’s definitely changed a lot. That was close to when he decided to turn things around, and it’s because of the fact that he wouldn’t have hesitated to take a man’s life.”
“Is that how you met her?”
He shakes his head. “No, I met her about seven months later. I was working in the motorcycle shop owned by the club, and she came in to talk to Blaze. As soon as I saw her, that was it. We moved fast and soon I was living with her, and I was planning our future. What I didn’t know at the time was that Ian had been keeping an eye on her. He watched her, watched us together, and waited for the right moment.”
“Oh,” I whisper, suddenly understanding some of Logan’s reactions as we dealt with the same issue.
“It started off simple enough. Fi would see him somewhere but she didn’t think anything of it. Then, when we’d been together for six months, I proposed to her. She said yes and I was the happiest I’d ever been. But things started escalating quickly. Things were left at the house for her, and we got notes in the mail that scared her so bad that she’d just sit in a ball on the floor and shake.”
“Oh, Logan, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. And back then, I didn’t realize how serious it was. To me, they just seemed like a guy trying to get back with his ex but every time we got something from him, it scared the hell out of her. She never told me about her past, either. It wasn’t something that she ever wanted to talk about and I didn’t push her. Blaze told me everything, after the fact. One night, about a month after we got engaged, she called me. I picked up the phone but it was just static so I hung up and called her again.”
My stomach knots up, and my chest aches because I know this story isn’t going to end well, but all this time, I assumed that she had died in a car accident or was hit by a drunk driver. I never thought it could be something like this.
“Instead of Fi answering, it was Ian. He told me that he had my girl and that if I came to face him like a man, he would let her go. I was at the shop and Blaze insisted on coming with me with a couple other guys, including Chance. When we got to the field where he told us to meet them, he had her on her knees in front of his car with a gun to her head.”
His breath hitches, and I climb on his lap, straddling his legs as I press my lips to his cheek in an effort to be there for him but I have no idea if I’m doing any good. His hands slip up my sides, and he holds me as his eyes drift closed for a moment.
“I begged him to let her go, to take me instead, but he just laughed. He said if he couldn’t have her, then I couldn’t either and he…” He chokes on his words, and tears slip down my cheeks as I imagine what he’s going to say next. His hold on me tightens, and he takes a deep breath.
“He shot her right there in front of me. I’ll never fucking get that picture out of my head. I ran to her but she was already gone,” he says, his voice cracking, and I hold him tighter, sobbing into his shoulder and wishing there was more I could do for him.
“I love you,” I whisper, because honestly, I can’t think of anything else, and he holds me closer. “I’m so sorry, Logan.”
I can’t even imagine the hell that my situation has put him through, and it all makes sense now. Every single look and every single reaction makes perfect sense, and I regret that I put him through this again.
“Wait. There’s more I have to tell you, and if I don’t say it now, I don’t know that I ever will,” he says, pulling his head back to look at me as he blinks away the tears that were filling his eyes. I run my hand down his cheek, and he shudders.
“The guys, they grabbed Ian and threw him in the back of someone’s truck while Blaze called his buddy at the police station, who happened to be Fuzz. Fuzz came out with a couple detectives, and as they took Fi away, he promised me that I would get my retribution.”
My stomach sinks, and I wonder just what he did to this man.
“God, Kitten, please don’t leave me for what I’m about to tell you. I fucking love you, and I can’t lose you.”
“Go on,” I whisper, wondering if I could leave him even if I wanted to.
“They kept him in the county jail until his arraignment, and Fuzz got Ian in a room by himself and let me in the back. I spent a couple of hours in there, doling out what I thought was justice. I messed up his knee so bad that he had a permanent limp and he couldn’t hear out of his right ear. I lost count of the number of cuts I made on his body but to this day, I still remember his screams as I poured my pain into him.”
I’m frozen in his lap, trying to process what he just said and think of something to say in response. I’m bothered by just how much I don’t care. I should, right?
“Please say something, Ali,” he says, that fear in his voice again.
I meet his eyes and open my mouth but nothing comes out. I close it again and shake my head. “I know I should probably be repulsed by the things you’ve done and I’m trying to find even a shred of disgust, but I can’t. I know you, Logan. I know the man you are in here,” I say, placing my hand on his chest, over his heart. “I know that anything you did was for the ones that you love so how can I fault you for your total devotion to those lucky enough to find themselves in your heart?”
He glances up at me and swallows. “You don’t think I’m a monster?”
“I think under the right circumstances, anyone can temporarily become a monster but you have a good heart. I think the fact that you still feel this guilt over what you did means that you aren’t the monster you seem to think you are.”
“I would do it again. If I had to go back, I would do it all over again and probably finish the job this time.”
My fingers dig into his skin, and he hisses. “Are you trying to run me off?”
“No. I just need you to understand who I am.”
“Who you are is the man who threw himself into a situation that caused him immense pain to keep me safe. Who you are is a man who every day helps women escape a hell I can only imagine. Who you are is the man who I know would lay down his life to protect me, the man that I trust completely with every part of me. That’s who you are, Logan, and I love every piece of you. Even the ones you think are broken or damaged.”
“Have I mentioned that I fucking love the shit out of you, Kitten? You are everything that I ever wanted and all the things I didn’t even realize that I needed.”
I nod, leaning down and pressing my lips to his softly before pulling back just enough to let them brush against his as I speak. “I love you, too, Logan. Until the day I take
my last breath.”
He hooks his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me onto his lips. I pull away when he wiggles underneath me, and when I look down, he’s holding out the engagement ring.
“I say it’s about time you put this on,” he says, and I grin as I hold my hand out. He slips the gorgeous antique ring on my finger before pulling it up and kissing it.
“It’s gorgeous,” I whisper, admiring it.
“It was my grandma’s, and I know that she’d be thrilled that I gave it to you.”
I beam at him, leaning down and kissing him before pulling back. I look at him and back down to the ring. “Wait. How does the story you told relate to me being safe now?”
He sucks in a breath and wraps his arms around my waist again like he’s trying to keep me from leaving. “It was Ian, Babe. He had a guy, his twin brother actually, following me, and when Ian saw the photos of you and I together the day we met, he set out to get his revenge. He knew doing all the same things that he did all those years ago would set me off, and he was right. It also led me right back to him.”
“Is he dead?” I ask, and he watches me for a moment before nodding slowly. “Good.”
“That day that I ran out of the clubhouse and told you to stay inside, I got a call from a friend of mine. He heard that Ian had hired someone to kill you, and when I went up to the prison, he confirmed it.”
“But, wait, if it’s the brother, how am I safe?” I look over my shoulder, panicking as I think about someone watching me again.
“Relax, Ali. Do you really think I’d bring you back here if you were in danger? Kodiak is out picking him up right now.”
“What are you going to do to him?” I ask, my heart pounding as I think about someone getting hurt because of me – even if they are a bad guy.
“That really depends on how reasonable he is.”
“What do you mean?”
He sighs. “Well, Streak thought that some of the letters sounded like he was really in love with you. It’s possible that he developed his own obsession as he started following you for his brother, and if that’s the case then we’ll end this.”