by A. M. Myers
She nods with a breathy moan and I grin.
“Good girl.”
I work my cock in and out of her, slowly building her to an orgasm that will shatter her as I lean down and steal a kiss before pulling back just enough to stare into her eyes. Her pussy clenches down on me and I groan as her teeth sink into her bottom lip and her eyes get heavy. I arch a brow in warning but it’s too late. Her eyes close for just a second, too overcome with pleasure, and I seize my opportunity as I release her leg and slap her ass. She cries out, her eyes popping open and finding me as her pussy clamps down on me again.
Fuck.
“I’m going to come, baby,” she whispers, fighting the urge to close her eyes again as I feel a tingling at the base of my spine. I nod, pushing her leg off of my shoulder before I grab the back of her neck and pull her to me. Our lips meet and I pick up the pace, hitting that spot inside her that’s always made her lose her mind and she grips my arms, her nails digging into my skin. The bite only amplifies my impending orgasm and I reach between us to rub my thumb back and forth across her clit.
“Fuck!” she screams, ripping her lips from mine as her entire body begins to shake and her cunt chokes the shit out of me. It’s so powerful that I have to punch my fist into the mattress to keep from falling over on top of her as my release barrels through me and my dick throbs. Sweat rolls down my skin as I struggle to catch my breath and when I finally pull back to look at her, she has a huge smile on her face and I can’t help but laugh. It draws a giggle out of her and before I know it, we’re wrapped up in each other laughing so hard we can’t breathe.
“Jesus, that was amazing,” she says as we calm down and I nod, pulling her closer as my eyes drift closed.
Shit.
I’m ready to go back to sleep after that.
My hand lazily traces circles on her belly as I open my eyes and it reminds me of the time right before I got locked up, when we were engaged and trying to have a baby.
“You still want to have kids?”
Her muscles tense. “Why are you asking me this, Noah?”
I prop myself up on my elbow and look at her with a scowl. “Why wouldn’t I ask about it? We were trying to have a baby before I got locked up.”
“Just leave it alone.”
“What?” I ask, studying her for a second before I see the hint of pain and fear in her eyes. “Is this an Oliver thing? Did he do something to you?”
She throws the covers back and jumps out of bed before I can stop it. “I told you to leave it alone, Noah.”
I reach out for her but she’s already stalking away and she’s halfway to the bathroom when someone knocks on the door. Jack jumps to his feet and charges out of the room, barking, as Kady turns to look at me with terror filling her eyes.
“The motion sensor,” she whispers and I’m out of bed in a flash, pulling my jeans on and grabbing the shotgun from its spot on the dresser. I point to her.
“You stay here, you hear me?”
She nods and I stalk out to the living room as I cock the gun. Jack is going crazy at the front door, practically foaming at the mouth as he tries to find a way outside. I’ll tell you one thing. I wouldn’t want to be the person on the other side of the door if he found one. Bypassing him, I move to the living room window and peek out as a car peels away from the end of the driveway.
Why the fuck didn’t the motion sensors go off?
Dropping the curtain back in place, I go to the door and pull it open, ready to kill someone if I have to but there’s no one there. I step out to search the driveway when my foot hits something and I glance down. It’s some kind of gift basket with a blue balloon that says, “It’s a boy!”
What the hell?
I scowl as I bend down and pick it up. When I turn around with the basket in my hand, Kady peeks out of the hallway and her gaze flicks up to the balloon hovering above me. She morphs right in front of me into a woman I don’t recognize as pain like I’ve never seen fills her eyes and a sob barrels out of her.
“No,” she cries, shaking her head as she stares at the balloon and then her knees give out. My eyes widen as she buckles to the floor, crying so loudly that I’m too stunned to move.
“Kady?”
She shakes her head, holding her hand up to me before she practically folds in on herself and wails. With each second that passes, she shreds my heart a little more and I’m fucking lost with no idea how to help her. I shut the door and make sure it’s locked before setting the basket and gun down on the desk next to the front door. Jack whines, lying at her feet and I cross the living room to join them, sinking to my knees next to her as I pull her into my arms.
“Tell me what’s going on, baby,” I urge and she sobs harder, shaking her head. “Please, Kady. You’re scaring the hell out of me.”
When she still doesn’t answer me, I move over to the wall and lean back against it as I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight, hoping that she’ll calm down enough to tell me what has her so upset in a few minutes. Rubbing my hand across her back, I tell her how much I love her and that I’m here for her and she has nothing to be afraid of as my mind races, going over the possibilities but there’s just too many. The unease eats away at me and I would give anything to know why the basket and balloon set her off.
They’re definitely from Biche - that much is obvious - but the “it’s a boy!” thing is weird. Was she pregnant? With his baby? Fuck, that thought makes my stomach roll and I swear if he forced her to carry his kid, I’ll kill him with my bare hands whether I go back to prison or not. Even thinking about the fact that he forced himself on her has me ready to murder him.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers after she’s finally calmed down some and I shake my head as I slip my fingers in her hair and massage the back of her head.
“You have nothing to apologize for. I just want you to talk to me and tell me what’s going on.”
She sucks in a breath and nods. “You’re going to regret asking me that.”
What the ever-loving fuck?
“Go on, baby. You can tell me anything.”
She glances up at me and nods.
“The day before you got locked up and I was kidnapped,” she whispers, dropping her gaze to her hands as she fidgets, “I took a pregnancy test and it was positive.”
My mind struggles to catch up but when it does, I suck in a breath and force her gaze back up to mine. “We were having a baby?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, baby,” I whisper, crushing her to me as I struggle with the news. It’s everything we ever wanted but I know there is no happy ending here. “What happened?”
She shakes her head. “Nothing happened. I carried him for nine months down in that apartment and gave birth to him in late January. A week from now actually.”
“Him? We have a little boy?” I ask, confused and unsure how to feel. Obviously, there is no child here but she’s talking about him like he’s alive. A soft sob shakes her body as she shakes her head.
“After he was born, Oliver took him away to get a checkup and when he came back, he told me that he didn’t make it.”
Agony rips through me as I think about Kady going through that all by herself and I mourn the loss of a child I never even knew about. Tears sting my eyes and I grit my teeth as she burrows closer to me, searching for comfort.
“I’m so sorry, Kady,” I whisper, my voice hoarse. “I’m more sorry than I’ll ever be able to explain to you and I promise I’m going to make this up to you. It will never replace him, our baby boy, but we can try again.”
“No,” she cries, shaking her head. “That’s the thing. We can’t. After I had Thomas - that’s what I named him… after his daddy…”
A tear slips down my cheek and I wipe it away quickly with my fist.
“Oliver brought in this doctor… I don’t think he was a real doctor or a licensed one anyway but he knocked me out and when I woke up, Oliver told me that he’d made sure I’d never have another one o
f your kids.”
My heart thunders in my ears and my vision clouds as the full weight of what he’s done to my sweet, perfect girl crashes down on me and all I can think is that death is too easy of a fate for Oliver Ford.
* * * *
My hands shake as I fist them together and rest my elbows on my knees, staring into the flames licking up the fireplace. Inside, I feel just like that - a raging inferno that won’t be quenched until I make Biche pay for everything he’s taken from me. I glance to my right at Kady as she sleeps on the couch, her nose red and her skin blotchy from crying all damn day and half the night as we talked about our baby boy and everything she went through when he died. My gaze drops to her stomach and tears spring to my eyes as I grit my teeth and resist the urge to slam my fist into the wall.
Fuck.
Our baby boy.
Before I got locked up, I was so excited to be marrying Kady and starting a family together but now, we never will. He took that from us and I swear he’s going to pay. He’ll pay for every family dinner that we’ll miss, for every t-ball game, for every Christmas that he’s not here with us. I’ll take my pound of flesh for each tiny experience that Kady and I will never get to have and maybe then the scales will finally be level.
Then again, maybe not.
Burying my head in my hands, I wonder what would have happened if I had just listened to her and gotten out of the club before everything went to hell. The knot in my stomach hasn’t gone away since she finally told me everything and in between my rage, I know that this is my fault. I got us both in a terrible situation and I’ve caused her so much pain that I don’t even know how she looks at me, let alone loves me. My heart is lying in pieces on the floor around her and I couldn’t even blame her if she just left them there, if she walked away, and never looked back. I’ve always loved her but I was so stupid and misguided that it’s hard to even look myself in the mirror right now.
I don’t deserve her.
I don’t deserve anything.
And even after everything I put her through, she still named him after me.
Fuck.
Pushing to my feet, I pace through the living room for a minute before walking over to Kady and kissing the top of her head. Her face finally looks peaceful now that she’s sleeping and my heart aches. Sucking in a breath, I walk to the door and turn back to take one last look at her, trying to figure out what the hell I’m supposed to do with all this pain. Jack lifts his head from the pillow and I nod to him.
“Keep her safe,” I whisper and almost like he understands me, he lays his head back down on the pillow with a sigh. Stepping outside, I pull my jacket tighter around me and climb in my truck, unsure if I’m going to go find Biche and kill him or just walk out of Kady’s life altogether. At this point, the only justice would be if I was forced to live the rest of my life without her.
As I back out of the driveway, I stop by the broken motion sensor and sigh as I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial Smith’s number.
“Hey, what’s up?” he asks as soon as he answers the phone.
“The motion sensor at Kady’s house is broken. Think you can replace it for me?”
There’s a pause on the other end of the line. “Sure… but why can’t you do it?”
“Don’t know if I’m going to be here,” I tell him, glancing back up at the cabin as my pain pulses through my chest. Jesus, can I really walk away from her?
“Whoa, what the hell is going on, dude?”
I shake my head and pull out onto the street. “It’s a long story.”
“Well, stop by the clubhouse. I’m here with Streak, Moose, and Storm.”
I consider refusing for a second but out of my options, going to the clubhouse is the best one. Besides, they probably need to know the information I found out today if they’re going to keep her safe. Whether I’m in her life or not.
“Yeah, okay. I’m on my way.”
We hang up and I turn around to head to the clubhouse as I try to decide what the hell I’m going to do with all this shit.
Do I really want to leave her?
No.
But goddamn, the guilt I feel over everything I’ve put her through is so fucking overwhelming that it’s hard to even breathe right now. I’m sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Gripping the steering wheel a little tighter, I imagine her moving on and being happy with someone else as my chest burns and my stomach clenches. Her accusation about how I hurt her pops into my mind and I wonder, if I asked her, what she’d want me to do.
Would she truly forgive me or tell me to get fucking lost?
I wouldn’t blame her if she did.
I pull into the clubhouse parking lot and whip into an open space. It’s damn near midnight but there are still a few bikes and trucks around. After parking, I climb out of the truck and march inside, still bouncing back and forth between anger and guilt. Smith and Storm are sitting on the couches when I walk in and they’ve both got a kid in their lap.
“Uh… hey,” I say.
“What’s going on?” Smith asks and I sigh as I glance around the room.
“Yeah, it’s a long story but I need to have a chat with Streak and Blaze, they around?”
Storm nods as he stands with his baby girl in his arms. “Yeah, they’re in Blaze’s office. I’ll go grab ‘em and we can sit down.”
“Naw, y’all just hang out with your kids. I’m sure they’ll fill you in later.”
Smith shoots me a look. “This about your girl?”
“Yeah.”
“Then, we’ll come,” he says, standing up. “Besides, Uncle Moose loves hanging out with the babes.”
He points to the two sleeping babies and I force a smile to my face.
“Okay, then.”
“Moose,” Storm calls and as they meet him by the bar to hand their kids off, I retreat into the room and sit in my usual chair. A few minutes go by before they all file in with concerned expressions and questioning glances.
“All right, Henn. Tell us what’s going on,” Blaze says as he sits at the head of the table and I nod, picking at the wood.
“Biche, or most likely one of his guys, showed up at the house today with a present for Kady. It was this gift basket with a balloon that said “It’s a boy!” like you get for someone when they have a kid.”
Blaze nods. “And this is significant how?”
“Kady finally admitted to me that she was pregnant when she was taken.”
All four of them suck in a breath as a feeling of heaviness descends over the room.
“She gave birth to him in late January, almost exactly seven years ago, and Biche took him away to get checked over by a doc. When he came back, he had another doctor with him and told her that the baby didn’t make it.”
Smith and Storm’s faces are somber and I’d guess that if anyone could understand how I’m feeling right now, it’s them since they are the only members who actually have kids.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, brother,” Storm says, reaching over and slapping my back. I nod, resisting the urge to shake him off.
“What was this other doctor there for?” Blaze asks. He has this uncanny ability to pick up the details everyone else overlooks at first.
“The doctor knocked Kady out and when she came to, Biche told her that he’d made sure she could never give me anymore babies.”
There’s a beat of silence before they all speak at once, expressing their disbelief and outrage.
“What the fuck?”
“Jesus Christ.”
“Bastard.”
Blaze looks up at me from the table. “Is there any proof that the baby actually died?”
“No, but I don’t know how we’d find any either. Biche was holding a woman captive. He couldn’t exactly take the baby to real doctors,” I say and he nods in agreement.
“Do we think he killed it himself?” Streak asks and my head whips toward him.
“Thomas. Not it.”
He holds his hands up.
“Right, sorry. Do we think he killed Thomas?”
“I don’t fucking know!” I roar, slamming my fists on the table. Why the fuck is he asking these questions that he knows I don’t know the answer to? Just to torment me?
“Hey, everyone, take a breath,” Blaze instructs before turning to me with sympathy on his face. “I’m so sorry, brother. I do have some idea what you’re going through and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”
I nod in acknowledgement but it’s the best I can give him right now.
“And what was this Smith was telling me about you leaving her?”
I shrug. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. One minute I want to find Biche and kill him as slowly and painfully as possible and the next I’m thinking Kady is better off without me in her life.”
“Dude,” Storm whispers, shaking his head.
“Well, enough of that shit,” Blaze snaps. “You were single minded as you hunted her down, she was the only thing that mattered to you so you’re not going to turn your back on her now. Not that I’m even sure you could. As for Biche, we will find a way to deal with this monster.”
I stand up and shove my chair back as I meet his eyes, unable to stand anymore of this conversation. “Good because if you don’t, I will. You can count on that.”
Chapter Fifteen
Kady
“Hey,” Noah says, walking out of the bedroom as he tucks his phone in his pocket. I glance up from my book. “Blaze just called and I guess they’re having an impromptu get together in a little bit. Do you want to go?”
Pursing my lips, I stare at him for a second before nodding. “Okay.”
I was never really a fan of the club in the past but Noah swears that they’ve changed and I’m not opposed to giving them a chance to prove that. They have been helpful with this whole Biche thing if Smith showing up here bright and early this morning to install cameras and motion sensors around the entire property are any indication of how things are now. If they are anything like Blaze described them all those years ago when Noah first joined, I would be proud to have them in my life but I need proof first.