by A. M. Myers
“Something more is going on here,” Fuzz says and Blaze’s eyes narrow.
“What do you mean?”
He shakes his head. “I mean, this is the second girl to die after we helped her in the past year or so and with Dina, we all assumed her ex did it but Sammy’s abuser is dead so…”
“The only other connection is us,” I whisper.
“No,” Kodiak snaps, taking a step back as he shakes his head. “That’s insane. Who would do that?”
I smack his chest with the back of my hand. “Think about all the women we’ve helped, then think about all the men who would have a reason to hate us. Surely one of them is mad enough and crazy enough to do something like this.”
“There could be other things that we’ve missed, too,” Fuzz adds, his face grave. “We need to get Streak to start looking into this and we all need to start going over old cases as well but we need to do it quietly.”
Kodiak holds his hands up. “Hold on. Two times is a coincidence, not a pattern.”
“And if you’re wrong? Are you really willing to let another girl die before we start looking into this?”
“This is insane,” I breathe, tipping my head back and squeezing my eyes shut for a second before blowing out a breath and meeting their gazes. My thoughts keep swirling back to Juliette no matter how hard I try to think of something else and the thought of her getting hurt kills me. “We’ve got too many important people in our lives to take the chance that this isn’t connected.”
“And let’s say it is connected and we start looking into it and only end up pissing whoever it is off more. Then what?”
“Enough,” Blaze says, his voice full of authority and we all turn to him. “You all have valid points. We’ll start looking into this but we’ll do it carefully and quietly. The last thing we need is to lose anyone else.”
Chapter Fifteen
Juliette
Butterflies flutter around in my belly and each breath I take rings in my ears as I smooth my trembling hands down my jeans and glance up at the clock. Before he left this morning, Sawyer told me he would be home at five and I have just about five minutes to finish this up before he gets home.
God, why am I so nervous?
After my lunch with Mercedes today, I decided to run to the store and grab what I needed to throw together a quiet little dinner for Sawyer and me so I could thank him for letting me stay here. It was just supposed to be casual and allow us to start exploring our feelings like we talked about last night and I thought I would be okay but now that he’s almost here, I feel like I am about to go on my first date all over again. I have never cooked for a man, at least I don’t think I have, and since I didn’t want to ruin the surprise, I couldn’t exactly ask him what he liked or if he is allergic to anything. This whole thing could really blow up in my face.
Burying my face in my hands, I groan. What the hell was I thinking? This is going to be a disaster, I just know it. My heart jumps in my chest and I take a deep breath before shaking out my hands. This is crazy. How does he affect me so much? Granted I don’t remember a huge chunk of my recent past but I don’t ever remember feeling like this before meeting Sawyer. He lights a fire inside me. A fire that is just as warm and comforting as it is exciting and I can’t imagine ever giving it up. But I’m still lying to him and I have no idea what he’s going to do when the truth comes out.
Maybe I should just tell him. Maybe I should just open up and let him in to the horror of my life for the past two weeks but the way I feel around him feels too damn good and I’m quickly becoming addicted to it. What if his feelings for me change once he knows the whole story? I honestly don’t know what I would do or how I would cope if he decided he wanted to walk away from me.
How can one man consume so much of my life in such a short amount of time?
Sighing, I straighten the silverware and light the candles in the center of the table before taking a step back and pursing my lips. Maybe the candles are too much. I mean, I want us to have a nice dinner but I also don’t want to put too much pressure on him. What if his feelings have changed since last night? We were both swept up in whatever it was we were feeling in the truck yesterday but what if, today, in the cold light of day, he realizes that he was acting crazy? Closing my eyes, I picture the two of us on his front porch last night and rub my palm with my thumb in the exact same spot I felt his racing heartbeat before he kissed me.
No.
There’s no way that wasn’t real - daylight or not.
I stare at the candles for another couple of seconds before deciding to leave them. My heart races as I peek up at the clock again on my way into the kitchen.
He should be here any second…
To distract myself from incessantly staring at the door, I stir the Shrimp Alfredo I made for us. It’s about the only thing I know how to make, besides boxed mac and cheese, so I really hope he likes it.
Shit.
What if he doesn’t?
I’m pretty sure I’d die on the spot. Shaking my head, I grab the plates off the counter and scoop food onto each one before carrying them to the table and sitting down in one of the chairs as I release a breath and check the time on my phone.
5:06 p.m.
Nodding, I lean back in my chair and try to slow my breathing as my knee bounces out of control. God, I hope he likes this and doesn’t think it’s weird. He won’t think it’s weird, right? Fuck. I’m losing my mind. I snatch my phone off of the table and dial Mercedes’ number.
“Hey, babe. What’s up?” she answers and I release a breath.
“Um, well… I’m losing my mind.”
She laughs. “Why?”
“So, after I left your office, I thought it would be nice to cook dinner for Sawyer to say thank you for letting me stay, you know?”
“Uh-huh.”
“And now I’m just sitting here waiting for him to get home and I’m so nervous.”
“Oh my God,” she shoots back. “You like him so much.”
“Shut up. That’s not helping at all.”
Her laughter echoes across the line. “Did you cook your famous Shrimp Alfredo?”
“Um… yes. How did you know that? And why are you calling it famous?”
“It’s the same thing you made for Gavin to get him to sleep with you. We learned it at the cooking class we took in Miami.”
I scowl. “What cooking class?”
“Jett,” she gasps. “We took that class during your lost memories.”
“Oh,” I whisper, staring at the plate of food in front of me. How could I remember how to make this if I can’t remember anything else from my life? All damn day, I’ve been trying to remember anything from my life in Miami and this is what I get? “Wait… you said I made this for Gavin?”
“Yeah, the night y’all had sex for the first time. You made a whole plan to seduce him.”
I shake my head and pinch my eyes closed. “Well, did it work?”
“Um, yes.” She laughs. “Have you seen yourself? You could have taken him to bed just by looking in his direction.”
“Stop it,” I beg her as my cheeks burn and she laughs again.
“Is Sawyer late?”
I glance up at the clock. “Yeah. He said he’d get home ten minutes ago.”
“Want me to kick his ass?” she asks, sounding almost eager and I laugh as I shake my head.
“No. I’m just nervous.”
“I bet,” she replies, a hint of tease in her voice. “I would be, too, if I was waiting on another life changing kiss.”
Groaning, I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I never should have told you that.”
“No, no, it’s okay. I only have a minor case of jealousy.”
“Maybe you should think about getting back out there,” I suggest and I swear, I can feel her shudder through the phone.
“I think not. Not right now, at least. I have way too much work to do to deal with a man.”
“Mmhmm,” I hum as a noise by
the front door catches my attention and I sit up straight. “Oh, shit. I think he’s here.”
“Have fun! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”
“You realize that doesn’t take much off the table, right?”
“Yeah,” she answers. “Sounds like a fun night.”
Laughing, I say good-bye to her and promise to call her tomorrow before setting my phone down just as the door swings open and Sawyer stumbles into the house. His gait is uneven and he smashes his knee into his couch, hissing a string of cuss words. Jesus Christ, is he drunk? Glancing up, he stops and blinks bloodshot eyes at me before examining the table. His eyebrows shoot up.
“Oh, what’s this?” he slurs, a goofy smile stretching across his face as he stumbles further into the room and almost trips over a rug. I bolt up from my chair and meet him in the living room, wrapping my arm around his waist to keep him from falling. He hums and buries his nose in my hair. “You smell good.”
“I cooked us some dinner,” I prompt, pointing to the table and his smile grows. He looks down at me with a look that makes me feel all warm and gooey inside.
“You’re amazing.”
“And you’re drunk,” I say, my eyes burning from the smell of alcohol wafting off of him. “You didn’t drive, did you?”
“Nope. Uber.”
I nod in approval as I guide him to a chair and push his big body into it. He lands with a thud and grabs my arm, pulling me into his lap before I can stop him.
“Sawyer!”
He grins. “I really like the way you say my name. Do it again.”
“Sawyer,” I say, smiling as I relax into his arms. “We should get some food in you.”
“No. Don’t leave me. I like you right here,” he says, his grip on me tightening and I nod as I reach up to cup his cheek.
“You always come home three sheets to the wind?”
He shakes his head. “Only on really bad days.”
“What happened?”
“Someone died,” he whispers, tears filling his eyes as he looks away from me and my heart aches in my chest, stealing my breath as tears sting my eyes and thoughts of my mom and dad flash through my mind.
“I’m so sorry, Sawyer.”
His gaze meets mine and he traps a lock of my hair between his fingers as he shakes his head. “I can’t believe I met you.”
“Why not?” I ask, trying desperately to keep up with the ever changing topic.
“I said I was done. I wasn’t gonna date anyone else until I fixed my shit and then there you were… like an angel. My angel.”
Tears fill my eyes at the pain in his voice. “Sawyer.”
“It’s gonna hurt like hell when you leave me. I don’t want to let you go.”
“Who said I was leaving?” I ask, trying to guide his gaze back to mine but he shakes off my hand.
“You will. I’m not good enough for you.”
I push out of his arms and the panic in his eyes breaks my heart as I turn and straddle his legs, placing my hands on his chest. “Why would you think that?”
“I’m never enough, Juliette. Never good enough to save them. Never good enough to love…just never enough.”
I shake my head and cup his cheek, forcing his gaze to mine as my chest hurts fiercely. “I think you’re everything, Sawyer.”
We stare at each other for a moment before he scoffs and picks me up with ease. He stands and sets me back down in the chair before disappearing into his room without another word and slamming the door. The sound reverberates through the house and tears spring to my eyes as I stare at the floor, wondering where the hell I went wrong but the more I replay what just happened in my head, the less sense it makes. Sucking in a breath, I wipe my tears and start cleaning off the table to distract myself.
Once everything is cleaned up and the food is in the fridge for later, I grab my phone and walk down the hallway to my room directly across from his. Pausing outside his door, I press my hand to the wood and my lips wobble. My mind is a jumbled mess after everything that just happened and as much as I know it’s going to haunt me tonight, I also know that we won’t be able to solve anything until he’s sober. If there is even anything left to solve.
* * * *
I pull my sweater tighter around my body to ward off the morning chill as the sun begins peeking through the trees, making the world around me glisten. Fighting to keep my eyes open, I press the back of my fingers to my lips as I yawn and shake my head. Last night was awful and I spent hours tossing and turning before giving up around four a.m. The house was so quiet that I had to get out so I just started walking and stumbled onto this cute little park a couple of blocks away from Sawyer’s house. There’s a small fountain in the middle surrounded by a gorgeous garden full of bright, colorful flowers. Leading away from the fountain are walking paths that stretch into the woods and I would be tempted to go explore if I wasn’t so damn exhausted. Birds chirp sweetly from the trees and the sound of bubbling water washes over me, melting away my stress. It’s so serene that I may just never leave.
“All right, woman,” a voice says from behind me and I turn as Mercedes walks up to the bench with a drink carrier and a paper bag in her hands. “You wanna tell me why you have my ass out here at six in the morning?”
I take one of the coffees from the drink carrier and flash her a smile. “Maybe I just like your company.”
“Bullshit. No one likes my company at six in the morning. What’s going on? How did last night go?”
“Oh, just peachy,” I answer as I roll my eyes and she nods as understanding washes over her face and she takes a sip of her own coffee.
“Ah, I see. What happened?”
“Nothing.”
She sighs. “Again with the bullshit. Give me all the deets. What happened after you called me last night?”
I take a sip of my coffee and shake my head, irritated by her persistence. “So, after I hung up with you, he stumbles into the house, drunk and when I said drunk, I mean druuunnnk.”
“Oh.” She purses her lips in disapproval and I nod, staring at the fountain in front of me.
“Yeah. And then he tells me that someone died yesterday but when I tried to get him to tell me who, he just started calling me his angel and saying that it was going to suck when I left him.”
She arches a brow. “What the fuck?”
“Exactly.” I dig a donut out of the bag and take a bite. “Then, I ask him who said I was leaving and he says I will because he’s not good enough for me and that he’s not good enough for anyone.”
“What did you say to that?”
I shake my head as my cheeks burn. “I told him that I thought he was everything.”
“Aw.”
“No, not aw, because he stormed off to his room and left me and the dinner I made for him sitting in the dining room.”
“Have you talked to him at all today?” she asks and I shake my head as I take a sip of coffee. I feel so stupid that I was so giddy and happy about this man when the truth is, he is a stranger. For all I know, the man I saw last night is who he really is and he has been putting on one hell of a show since I met him.
“No. I couldn’t sleep all night because I was worried about him and wondering who had hurt him so badly. Around four, I just got up and started walking until I found this place.” I motion to the park and she sighs, taking a sip of her coffee as she relaxes into the seat next to me.
“Well… what do you want to do about him now?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know yet. I’m tempted to just go pack up my shit and use my credit card to get a hotel.”
“And let Gavin find you?”
“I think he already has,” I tell her, shrugging my shoulders and she scowls at me. Why is it that on my list of problems, Gavin finding me seems so much less important than what happened last night? I mean, I was engaged to Gavin but the idea of him finding me and trying to convince me to come back to Miami just doesn’t bother me and I can’t decide if it’s
because I feel like I’m home here or because of Sawyer.
“How do you know?”
“There was a man outside of your office yesterday taking pictures of me.”
She gasps. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Nope.”
“Oh, hell no. I’ll hire security for you or something, babe.”
I shake my head, flashing her a look. “I don’t need security. It’s just Gavin.”
“And what if he shows up here? What are you going to do then?” she asks and I tilt my head to the side as I think over her question. So what if Gavin does show up here? I’m not going back to Miami and I’m done feeling guilty for that. Baton Rouge is my home and where I’m supposed to be. My mind drifts back to Sawyer and I sigh.
“If he shows up here, I’ll tell him to go back home.”
“I don’t know if it will be that easy,” she says and I turn to look at her. “He called me two more times after you left yesterday.”
I shrug. “Let him come. What is he going to do? Force me back to Miami? I don’t think so.”
“You know, I was really worried about you when you first told me you lost your memory but look at you, kicking butt and taking names.”
“Do I remind you of the old me?”
She shakes her head. “Yes and no. I don’t think you should be so concerned with who you were and just focus on who you want to be now.”
“I couldn’t agree with you more.”
Before she can say anything else, the roar of a bike fills the air and we both turn toward the street, watching for a second before a man I recognize all too well pulls into one of the parking spaces.
“Oh, here we go,” Mercedes whispers like she is settling in to watch her favorite guilty pleasure TV show. I shake my head as I cross my legs and watch him climb off of his bike and grab a colorful bouquet of flowers off the back of the bike. “Two points for pretty flowers.”
“Are you grading his apology?” I ask, trying not to laugh and she glances back over her shoulder and nods, a grin on her face. We both turn back to Sawyer, who looks like he’s about to shit a brick as he approaches us. But damn if he doesn’t still look like I could eat him alive - a perfect mixture of swaggy bad-ass biker and the kind of guy you can see yourself settling down and having babies with.