by A. M. Myers
“Pippy, I’m so so sorry, okay? You know I love you like a freaking sister and I just hated seeing you in pain all the time so I thought if I put you guys together, things would… you know?”
I nod my head. “Oh, yeah… I know and guess what, your little plan worked. Wyatt knows I didn’t cheat on him and he wants me back just as soon as I tell him all the ugly, nasty details about what happened ten years ago so thanks for that.”
“Wait, what? It worked? You guys are getting back together?” she asks, barely resisting the urge to clap her hands in glee and I level a glare across the table.
“No! Yes… I don’t know. Did you miss the part where I have to bare my soul to him?”
She shrugs. “So do it, Piper. All I’ve heard for the last six years is how much you love this man. Why would you let him go again?”
“You know what,” I snap. “Not the point right now. I’m still really mad at you and it doesn’t matter that it worked because you went too far. I’ve trusted you with some very deep secrets and you almost lost that trust.”
“Only almost?”
I keep my glare on her for another second before sighing. “Yes, almost… just don’t do it ever again and I suppose I can accept your apology.”
“Done,” she answers with a nod. “Now, can we go back to why you won’t just tell him?”
Lillian raises her hand. “Back up. We’re going to start with what happened after the texts Eden sent because I feel like I’m missing a whole chunk of information here.”
Sighing, I launch into the whole story, telling them about Wyatt coming over to my apartment and demanding answers before we both got caught up in our feelings and we ended up sleeping together. Eden slams her hand on the table, her eyes shining with interest as she stares at me.
“You slept together?” A slow grin spreads across her face. “This is even better than I imagined. How was it?”
I scoff. “Not the point, Edie.”
“Oh, I disagree,” Lillian adds, smiling. “I think it’s exactly the point.”
They both look at me expectantly and I roll my eyes as I take a big sip of my drink before leaning back in my chair. My thoughts drift back to last night and the way Wyatt pressed me up against the counter and demanded every ounce of pleasure from my body. I drop my gaze to the table, my cheeks heating as I shrug.
“I mean… it was all right.”
“All right, my ass,” Eden says with a laugh, smacking her hand on the table again. “That look on your face tells me everything I need to know.”
“Oh, yeah,” Lillian agrees and I glance up at them as she starts fanning her face.
“Stop it,” I growl, the back of my neck feeling like it is on fire. The waitress stops by our table, saving me from further embarrassment and I chug half my drink as Eden and Lillian order their dinner. When she gets to me, I order the lasagna and another sangria before finishing off my first. She takes the glass from me and as soon as she is gone, Eden whips her head in my direction again.
“Okay, so you guys had super hot sex in… wait, where did it happen?”
I cover my face with my hand. “In the kitchen.”
“Oooh, kitchen sex, even better. What happened afterward?”
“We just stared at each other and then he stormed out of my house without a word,” I answer, meeting her gaze with a glare. It may be a good story for her but it hurt like hell for me and I’m not nearly as giddy about it as she is. Her lips part.
“Oh…”
“Yeah. It was a ton of fun.”
She sighs. “Please tell me he called you today, at least.”
“Nope,” I answer, shaking my head. “He showed up as I was leaving for my first session today and demanded that I tell him the truth since he knows I didn’t cheat on him.”
“And what did you say?” Lillian asks and I shrug.
“I don’t know. I was mostly trying to not give into him but I think I said something about the past not being pretty and he should stop poking around.”
Eden nods, leaning forward like she can’t get enough. “Then he said?”
Sighing, I replay the rest of the conversation for her, word for word, and by the end, she is practically bouncing in her seat and clapping her hands.
“Oh, this is excellent.”
I roll my eyes. “Can you please stop acting like a cartoon villain as you plan out my love life?”
“No, I can’t. Honestly, I was hoping you guys would talk and maybe, just maybe, you would work things out but this is even better than I imagined.”
“Hold on,” Lillian says, ever the voice of reason. “Let’s go back to why you can’t just tell him what happened when you left him.”
I sigh, shaking my head as I fiddle with my silverware. “Because it’s dark and ugly…”
“Yeah, but… he’s your husband, Pippy. This isn’t just some man you met and or some guy you’ve been dating.”
“Don’t you see, Edie. That just makes it worse. This would be so much easier if I was trying to tell some guy that I just met or some guy I was dating but it’s not. It’s Wyatt and I don’t know how to tell him…”
She reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “Well, maybe a little more tactfully than you told me.”
“Eden,” I cry out, my eyes widening as she starts giggling and releases my hand. Shaking my head, I remember my drunken rambling as I tried to explain it all to her and start laughing right along with her. “God, you’re no help sometimes.”
“But other times, I’m loads of help. I mean, look at you and Wyatt now.”
I shake my head again. “Don’t say that like things are magically fixed. Even if I told him everything and we tried to work through things, it wouldn’t be easy or simple.”
“True,” Lillian says, studying me. “But from what you’ve told us, he’s willing to do whatever it takes to fix your relationship.”
“Pipes, you could have everything you’ve ever wanted from your life,” Eden says, reaching across the table again and grabbing my hand with an encouraging look on her face. “All you have to do is be a little brave and tell Wyatt the truth.”
“I’m scared.”
Lillian nods, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. “I know but everything will be okay.”
“And if it’s not,” Eden adds, giving my hand a squeeze. “We’ll go kick that idiot’s ass for hurting our girl.”
“I’ll think about it,” I tell them and they both nod in approval. Lillian releases me and I lean back in my chair, fingering the scar along my neck as I think about what I need to tell Wyatt. I’m terrified of his reaction but I’m also terrified of living the rest of my life without him which leaves me in a pretty shitty spot. I’ve never been all that good at pushing myself out of my comfort zones which is why Dr. Brewer says I gravitate toward people like Eden and Wyatt who will force me to do the things that I don’t want to do but it still doesn’t make it easy for me.
“Piper?”
My head jerks up and I blink as James, my ex, stops next to our table and smiles down at me. “Uh… hi.”
“How are you?” he asks and I scowl as my mind struggles to catch up. Nodding, I sit forward and try to paste a pleasant smile on my face but it’s a struggle. James and I broke up because we didn’t want the same things and if I’m being honest with myself, I was never really that into him. I was just into the idea of him, of finding someone and finally starting a family like I’ve always wanted.
“Uh, good. How are you?”
“Really good,” he answers with a nod before his gaze flicks down to my chest. He lingers there for a moment and I resist the urge to cover myself as he meets my eyes again. Seriously? How did I not notice how sleazy he was when we were dating? “You look amazing.”
“Thanks,” I mutter, shooting a confused glance in Eden’s direction. She rolls her eyes and shrugs. I peek over at Lillian who just shakes her head, looking almost embarrassed for James. Someone calls his name from a couple tables over and
he glances back at them before turning back to me with a grin.
“Listen, I’ve got to go right now but maybe we can grab lunch sometime. I’ll call you.”
I force a smile to my face but he doesn’t even wait for my nod before he turns and heads over to the leggy blonde waiting for him. Arching a brow, I watch him sit down before turning back to the girls and shaking my head.
“Quick, block him on your phone,” Eden says, jabbing her pointer finger into the table. “Right now. I’m not letting that clown ruin all my hard work.”
I scoff as I dig my phone out of my bag. “Yes,, ma’am. And what the hell do you mean all your hard work?”
“Listen, I did not risk life, limb, and best friend just so this douchebag can come swinging his dick around and mess it all up. I am determined to be photographing your wedding with Wyatt someday.”
Scoffing, I shake my head as I block James on my phone. “We’re already married, Edie. Even if we get back together, there won’t be a wedding.”
“Well, then a vow renewal or whatever,” she says, waving her hand through the air to dismiss my comment. “You mark my words. I will document your happily ever after.”
“You need a hobby.”
She grins at me. “I have one and you’re looking at it.”
“Have you ever thought about crochet or something?” I ask, leaning back and crossing my arms over my chest. She shakes her head as she grabs her drink and takes a sip.
“No. Maybe I’ll look into it when this mission is finished.”
I roll my eyes at her but the waitress returns to our table to drop off our dinners before I can say anything else and I decide to let it go. Hopefully Eden has developed some boundaries since her last little meddling episode but I’m not holding my breath.
Chapter Fifteen
Piper
An early autumn wind ruffles my hair as I smile and wave at Eden and Lillian parked on the curb, watching me carefully. Eden arches a brow and I roll my eyes as I turn to my front door. She always has this thing where she has to see me, at least, open the front door before she feels comfortable leaving me and while it’s sweet, sometimes I would prefer not to have an audience while I fumble with my keys. The rest of the dinner passed quickly with a lot of sangrias for me and plenty of laughs between the three of us and it was nice to forget about my problems for a while. Or forget about them as much as I can. Anytime there was a lull in the conversation or I was bored with the current topic, my mind would wander back to my new issues with Wyatt. Although, tonight I had the added bonus of painful memories from the past waiting in the wings to ambush me as soon as I let my guard down. Shaking my head, I push those thoughts from my mind as I finally find the right key and shove it into the lock.
Once I get the door open, I turn back to them and wave again. Eden flashes me a satisfied smile as they return the gesture and she pulls away from the curb. I wouldn’t say I’m super drunk right now but I’m definitely in no shape to drive myself home either. I was just going to take a cab but Eden insisted that she was giving me a ride home while Lillian followed behind us in my car so I would be able to get myself to work in the morning. Glancing over at my car in the driveway, I smile. You know… when she’s not being too nosy for her own damn good, I’m really glad I have Eden in my life. And Lillian, too. Honestly, I don’t know where I would be without the two of them. They know when I just need some space and when I need them to push me and as angry as I was with Eden for going behind my back and talking to Wyatt, I’m not entirely convinced that it was a mistake.
Stumbling through the front door, I toss my keys onto the table next to me and shut the door before making sure it’s locked three times as the damn memories threaten to bombard me again. Shaking my head, I check the lock one last time and promise myself that I’m not going to let them beat me today.
As I walk into the living room, I kick off my heels and breathe a sigh of relief. My thoughts turn to Wyatt as I peel my jacket off and toss it on the floor before heading for the stairs. I didn’t want to admit it to her or even myself but Eden was right when she said everything I’ve been dreaming of for the past ten years is staring me in the face and I just have to be brave enough to reach out and grab it. I just wish it was that easy. God, I don’t know how to tell Wyatt the truth… It’s not a time in my life I’m particularly proud of and I can’t imagine how painful it will be to see him react with disgust to the news. Not that he will, for sure, but… he might. And that kills me.
When I reach the bottom of the stairs, I pull my t-shirt over my head and toss it onto the floor before looking back. I’m usually pretty neat when it comes to my home and my things but I have just enough alcohol flowing through my system that all I want is to put on my oldest, comfiest t-shirt and fall into my bed. Staring at the mess, I release a breath and shrug.
Whatever.
I’ll deal with it in the morning.
Turning back to the stairs, I reach for the button of my jeans and grab my phone out of the back pocket before I start shoving them down my legs and by the time I get to the top, I’m kicking them off behind me. The last thing off is my bra and I smile as I step into my bedroom and grab the old Marines t-shirt I stole from Wyatt off of the bed and slip it over my head. The moon shines through the large window, casting a blue glow on the entire room as I set my phone on the bedside table and fall back into the mattress, a content sigh slipping through my lips.
Oh, this is exactly what I needed.
I close my eyes but as soon as I do, those damn memories that have been stalking me all night are right there in the front of my mind and my heart starts to beat a little faster. I reach up and trace the scar along my neck. Tears well up in my eyes as the memory pushes forward, demanding my attention and I know it’s going to be a rough night.
No.
No.
No.
Shaking my head, I open my eyes and stare up at the ceiling fan above me but it doesn’t matter if my eyes are closed or not, the pain of my past will not be ignored tonight. Closing my eyes again, I see my childhood home, just the way it always was before a dark cloud drowned out the light and a tear streaks down the side of my face and I suck in a stuttered breath. Every moment of that night is seared into my memory, so much so that it’s become part of my identity, a piece of my very DNA and it seems I have no choice but to relive it now. My eyes snap open and I stop fighting, letting the memory and the pain that always accompanies it, wash over me.
Crash!
My eyes pop open and I squint into the darkness, confusion filling me as I try to place the sound. Someone screams from downstairs and it takes me a second to realize it’s my mother. My heart kicks in my chest and my tummy twists as I shove the covers off my legs and hug my teddy bear to my chest.
“Mama?” I call out as I slip from the bed, my legs shaking like crazy. The silence is dominating and tears fill my eyes as I tiptoe across my room and pull the door open just enough to peek out into the hallway. “Mama?”
Something doesn’t feel right…
Sucking in a breath, I remember Daddy telling me that sometimes it’s important to be brave and I open the door further, clutching my bear as I step out into the hallway and glance toward the faint glow coming from downstairs.
“It’s probably nothing,” I tell myself as I walk to the top of the stairs, careful not to step on the board that creaks as my heart beats faster, crashing into my rib cage. As I start down the stairs, I want to call out for my mom again but something tells me not to and I decide to listen to that little voice in my head.
“Please!” Mama screams and I freeze halfway down the steps, each breath punching out of me. “Don’t do this! Take whatever you want.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I bury my face in my teddy bear’s tummy and wait. My imagination takes over, dreaming up all kinds of monsters that could be lurking downstairs. Mama screams again but it sounds different this time and when she stops, the house is quiet again. Too quiet. Opening my eyes, I tak
e a deep breath, trying so hard to be brave as I start down the stairs again. When I reach the bottom, I turn toward the living room and a gasp catches in my throat. The giant figure standing next to chunks of wood that I think used to be the coffee table turns and his gaze lands on me. I can hear my heart in my ears and it’s hard to breathe as I stare up at him, my body going cold as his blue eyes roam over my body.
Oh, God.
I need to run.
I want to run but my legs won’t move.
They’re stuck to the floor.
Moonlight glints off the piece of metal and my eyes widen at the sight of the bloody knife in his hand. A scream bubbles up but gets stuck in my throat as my entire body shakes and little black spots dot my vision. He takes a step toward me and before my mind even has a chance to catch up, I spin and take off running as a scream trails off behind me.
“HELP!”
I run into my daddy’s study and turn toward the dining room but I don’t have time to stop because I can hear his loud, clumping steps as he chases after me.
“Mama! Daddy! Help!” I scream, tears streaking down my face and my chest feeling tight like my heart is about to burst. His footsteps are louder on the hardwood floor of the dining room and I whimper and beg my legs to go faster as I turn toward the kitchen and freeze. Mama is lying on the floor next to Daddy and her eyes are wide open, staring at me, but she can’t see me. A large pool of blood surrounds them and I shake my head as more tears fall and I run to them, dropping to my knees.
I don’t even care that I’m getting blood all over me.
I have to help them.
Grabbing Mama by the shoulders, I give her a little shake but nothing happens and a sob bubbles out of my chest as I shake her again.
“Mama,” I whisper through my tears, shaking my head. When I was six, my grandpa died and at his funeral, they brought him into the church in a big wooden box so everyone could see him but all I could think was that he didn’t look right. Mama looks the same now and even if I don’t want to admit it, I know, deep down in my heart, that she’s gone. Tears pour down my face in torrents as I shake my head again. “Mama.”