by A. M. Myers
“How are you?” she asks, propping her elbows on her knees and cocking her head to the side as she studies me. I nod before turning back to the protestors.
“Good.”
She hums. “You know not a single person believes that, right? Oh, and also, I’m having a hard time keeping your brother from murdering Streak so maybe y’all could work things out already?”
“There’s nothing to work out, Tate,” I whisper, peeking over at her as she scowls.
“What do you mean?”
I take a deep breath and meet her eyes. “If I tell you, you’re sworn to the sister code… it’s like girl code but even more intense and you can’t tell a fucking soul.”
“Okay,” she agrees, nodding. Turning back to watch the people filling the street below us, I take another deep breath and try to ignore the relentless ache in my chest.
“I love him…”
“Streak?” she asks. I nod and she scoffs in return. “Well, obviously.”
Glancing back at her, I shake my head. “We agreed to casual. On the first night I was here, he told me we would never be anything other than sex and then I was stupid enough to fall in love with him.”
“And? Look, people say dumb ass shit all the time and then things change. Besides, I’m ninety-nine percent sure that boy loves the hell out of you, so what’s the problem?”
“He’s never had a girlfriend, Tate,” I tell her, tears gathering in my eyes as I turn back to the crowd and Travis’s words run through my mind. “He straight out told me that he was never going to fall in love with me and that he never wanted anything more than casual relationships. You don’t see this as a problem?”
She sighs. “It’s an annoyance, for sure, but he can’t control how he feels anymore than you can. And I’m telling you, he’s head over heels.”
“Stop saying that,” I plead, my heart breaking at the mere suggestion that he could love me back because I already know it’s not true. One of the things I love about him is that he’s completely upfront about everything. He’s honest, to a fault, so if he felt something more, he would have said something.
“Girl…”
I shake my head. “No. I can’t, okay? You really think someone that made such a big deal about never having anything more than casual relationships is suddenly going to decide he loves me and wants a real one? I’m not that naive and I know you aren’t either.”
“People are stupid, Row. I mean, you should have seen me before I met your brother… I was a fucking mess and then in walked Lincoln and I had no control over how he made me feel and it sure as hell wasn’t an easy road to get to where we are now but we did it and I’ve never been happier. You just have to take a chance.”
“And what if he says no?” I ask, my bottom lip wobbling at the thought. Pain pierces through me and I turn to the crowd as a tear slips down my cheek. Reaching over, she rubs her hand down my back and I peek back at her as she grins.
“Then your brother and I will make him regret that he was ever born.”
Laughing through my tears, I shake my head. “I don’t want him to get hurt.”
“Oh, Lord,” she whispers, pulling me into a half-hug as more tears fall down my cheeks. “You’re so far gone, sweetie.”
“I know.”
Sighing, she just holds me as more tears fall down my face and even though I don’t want it to, the idea of telling him how I feel pops into my mind. I picture sitting him down in his room and saying the words and then I imagine the horror on his face afterward. My heart shatters at the thought and I bite my lip to hold back the sob as I push it all to the back of my mind and cry. After a moment of my little pity party, I order myself to get it together before sitting up and taking deep breaths as I wipe my eyes.
“How long has he been down there?” she asks and I look over as she points to Warren before rolling my eyes.
“Awhile. He’s just been watching me.”
She does a dramatic little shiver next to me. “Fucking creepy ass son of a bitch.”
“I know. Maybe it’s the mask but when I see him… I get this hollow feeling in my chest like I’ll never be happy again.”
“Hell no. You can’t think like that,” she barks and I glance over at her as she narrows her eyes at him. “We’ll figure this out and beat him and then things can go back to normal.”
I arch a brow. “You really think that will happen?”
“I have to believe it will.”
Nodding, I turn to look out at the crowd as the past month races through my mind. So much has happened and I have no idea what normal will look like for me since I was thrust into the middle of this but I’m looking forward to a bit of calm when this is all over.
“Who the hell is that?” Tate asks and I glance over to where she’s pointing. At the front gate, the guys have gathered on one side, looking intimidating as hell as they stare at a man on the other side of the fence with a police escort and I squint, trying to see him better as the gate slides open.
“Holy shit…”
Tate turns to me. “What?”
“It’s fucking Ash.”
“What?” she whispers, turning back to Ash as he walks into the parking lot with all of the guys around him. “Cheating, piece of shit, scum-bag ex-boyfriend Ash?”
I nod. “Yep.”
“Come on,” she says as she jumps up and grabs my hand, pulling me up with her. “You go see what he wants and I’ll go get my gun and taser.”
Despite the situation, I laugh. “Is that necessary?”
“Is breathing?” she calls over her shoulder as she practically skips toward the door and I laugh as I follow behind her, trying to figure out what the hell Ash is doing here in Baton Rouge. Did I ever even tell him where I was going? Thinking back to the last time I spoke to him when I was in Texas, I shake my head. I don’t think I did but I guess it wouldn’t have been that hard for him to figure out since Lincoln is the only family I have left. That still doesn’t explain why he’s here, though.
The clubhouse is quiet when I step into the bar and I groan. Everyone is going to be outside to witness whatever the hell this is but I can’t really say that I blame them. We’ve been practically climbing the walls for the past four days so at this point, anything is entertainment. But that doesn’t mean I want it to be at my expense. The sun blinds me as I step outside and I blink at the harsh light but I still can’t see Ash because everyone has their back to me as they crowd around him.
“I’m here to see Rowan.” His voice drifts over the crowd and I hear my brother’s answering grunt. Oh, boy, that’s not good.
“Yeah, you said that but you still haven’t told me who the hell you are.” Lincoln is in full-on protective brother mode and Ash should probably be happy that he doesn’t already have his balls in a vise grip. The clubhouse door opens and Tate steps out, a huge grin on her face and her taser in her hand.
“No gun?” I whisper and she winks at me as she pulls up her shirt, revealing the holstered gun at her waist before she shakes her head at me.
“Of course I brought the gun.”
“I’m Ash.” His voice is shaky, pulling my attention back to the hidden confrontation, and I release a sigh.
Shit.
I need to get over there.
After nodding to Tate, I work my way through the crowd, hoping to reach them before any guns or tasers are pulled out.
“Is that supposed to mean something to me?” Lincoln asks, his voice unwavering and if I was Ash, this might be the point where I pissed my pants. My brother is an intimidating man even when he’s not trying but when he wants to be scary, I don’t know why anyone would challenge him.
“Y-Yeah,” Ash answers. “I’m Rowan’s boyfriend…”
“Ex-boyfriend,” I snap as I finally get to the front of the group and step up next to Lincoln. He flashes me a look of annoyance and arches a brow but I glance over my shoulder, meeting Travis’s gaze as he stands a few feet behind us. A hint of a smile tugs at his l
ips and color rushes to my cheeks before pain swarms my body and I turn away from him, training my gaze on Ash again.
“Row,” he whispers. Relief splashes across his face as he takes a step forward and reaches for me. Lincoln shifts his body in front of mine, acting as a barrier as he crosses his arms over his chest.
“Hold up. You mean to tell me that my sister broke up with you and you followed her thirty-six hundred miles to Louisiana? Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick your ass into next week, you little fuck.”
Ash holds his hands up like that is somehow going to calm my brother down and I bite back a laugh. Honestly, after what he did to me, it’s not even close to what he deserves but Lincoln doesn’t know about that. Ash should probably thank his lucky stars for that small miracle.
“I just want to talk to her.”
Lincoln takes a menacing step forward. “So you stalked her?”
“No!” he shouts, his voice cracking as he takes a step back and looks at all the other people around us like they’re going to help him. “It’s not like that.”
Sighing, I loop my finger through Lincoln’s belt loop and pull him back as I move to his side again and he flicks an annoyed glance down at me. Oh, well, he can just get over it.
“What do you want, Ash?”
His gaze snaps to mine and he smiles. “Hey, baby… can we go somewhere to talk?”
“Right here seems fine.”
“You…” he murmurs, glancing between my brother and me before he looks at all of the guys standing behind us. “You want to talk right here? In front of everyone?”
I nod, mimicking my brother’s pose as I arch a brow. I may not want Lincoln to kill him but that doesn’t mean I forgive him for what he did or trust him. “Sure. Why not?”
“It’s just that we need to talk… about what happened…” he says, running his hand through his hair as his gaze continues to bounce around the group. Tate steps up on the other side of Lincoln and he glances over at her, studying her for a moment, before turning back to glare at Ash.
“What happened?” he asks, his voice booming and full of threat as he turns and stares down at me with questions in his eyes. Shit. Maybe I should have been honest with Lincoln and told him what happened with Ash as soon as I got here but it seemed like the best move at the time. Then again, I’m not the one who brought it up so what do I have to feel guilty about? “Rowan. Don’t fucking test me. What happened?”
“I walked in on him banging my co-worker,” I admit, leveling a glare in Ash’s direction as he drops his gaze to the concrete before turning back to my brother. “But I don’t need you defending me, Lincoln. I can handle this.”
“Bull fucking shit. This little pissant is not going to disrespect my baby sister like that and then show up here like he has any fucking right to you. I’m done with this whole fucking conversation.”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” someone whispers and I turn back to Ash as he sinks down to one knee and pulls a ring out of his pocket. His hand shakes violently as he holds it up to me and meets my eyes.
Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.
“Rowan Grace Archer,” Ash says as he wipes his free hand on his jeans. He honestly looks like he’s about to throw up and I take a tiny step back. “I think I’ve loved you since the first day I met you and I know I made a huge mistake but you’re my world…”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Lincoln growls and I peek back at all of the people behind us, searching the group for the one person I want to see more than anyone else but he’s gone. Frowning, I turn back to Ash as he continues his proposal but my mind spins with thoughts of Travis.
“Everything since you left has been awful and I realized just how much I need you in my life. I want to spend forever with you, baby, and I’ll do anything to make you happy. Will you marry me?”
He can’t be serious.
Right?
I mean, not once since I walked out of the apartment that night have I given him the impression that there was ever a chance between us so it makes no sense that he’s here, down on one knee and asking me to marry him. And if I didn’t know I was in love with Travis before, I sure as hell would now since I can’t seem to push thoughts of him from my mind. Shaking my head, I take a step forward and cover his hand with mine before pushing it down. “Ash… no.”
“No?” he asks, bewildered, and I shake my head again as his gaze bounces around the group. There’s no way he’s surprised by my answer…. Right? He jumps to his feet and stares at me like I’ve lost my mind. “No?!”
“Hey, she gave you an answer,” Lincoln snaps. “Which seems like more than you deserve and now it’s time for you to leave.”
“Whatever. I should have known better than to try and make a whore into a house wife,” he snarls, his eyes burning a hole through me with their hatred before he turns his glare to my brother and smiles. “You know she was a stripper, right?”
My stomach drops and I gasp, taking a step back as Lincoln lunges at Ash, grabbing him by the collar and dragging him toward the gate with no regard for the protestors out front. My heart races as I watch them. Ash knew damn well that my brother had no idea what I was doing for work in Alaska and as I think about what Lincoln is going to say when he gets back, my stomach rolls.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” Tate whispers, wrapping her arm around my shoulders, and I notice that everyone else has moved away from us, pretending that they’re minding their own business when clearly, they’re not. Glancing over at Tate, I shake my head.
“I never wanted him to know.”
She nods. “I know but he’ll get over it, sweetie. He loves you way too much not to.”
We watch Lincoln stop in front of the gate and punch in the code before sliding it open and tossing Ash out into the protestors as their screaming gets louder. After shutting the gate again and making sure it’s locked, he marches back over to us and I take a step forward as my heart pounds so fiercely it feels like it’s going to smash into my rib cage.
“Lincoln…”
He holds a hand up to stop me but doesn’t say a word as he turns and stomps into the clubhouse. The door slams and Tate follows after him, flashing me a reassuring look as tears sting my eyes. I turn to look at Ash as he stands on the other side of the fence, smirking at me like he’s enjoying watching my whole life fall apart around me. Turning away, my gaze lands on Warren in the middle of the crowd and just like on the roof, it seems like he’s looking right at me and I glance over to where Travis was standing before he disappeared as a tear slips down my cheek. I’ve never felt more alone in my life and for the first time in a month, I wonder if coming to Baton Rouge was a mistake.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Travis
Pressing the bottle of bourbon to my lips, I tip it back and let the liquor pool in my mouth before swallowing it down with a wince as I slam the bottle back on the bar. The bourbon leaves a burn in its wake, blazing down my throat before settling into a comforting warmth in my stomach but no matter how many times I repeat the process, I don’t feel any of the relief I’m desperately searching for. If it was going to drown out my pain, it should have by now since I’m halfway through the fucker. I arch a brow and lift up the bottle, swishing the liquid around on the inside before setting it back down with a sigh. The image of that loser getting down on one knee in front of Rowan plays through my mind, the same way it has since the moment I walked away from them and my chest burns at the thought of his ring on her finger. It’s hard to imagine that she actually said yes to him but I didn’t stick around to find out and I spent most of the day in my room, avoiding everyone.
I picture her in a white dress, walking down the aisle to that asshole and grab the bottle, taking another swig of bourbon before shaking my head. She wouldn’t say yes…Then again, how in the hell did he know she was here in Baton Rouge? My mind flashes back to the morning we went to go see Tawny and our breakfast afterward. She told me that it was better to
find out about his cheating now and that she hadn’t been that upset by finding him with another girl but she also admitted to putting on a brave face at the time. Could she have started talking to him again? Is that why there has been this distance between us lately? Is she going back to him?
But if that were the truth, why wouldn’t she just tell me?
We’ve always agreed that things between us were casual and had an expiration date so if she wanted to get back with this douche bag, she would have just said something. Right? Fuck, why does that bother me just as much, though? Sighing, I grab the bottle and take another swig of bourbon before slamming it back onto the bar. An image of her with that little shit pops into my head and I grit my teeth, remembering the way her skin felt beneath my fingertips and the way she moaned my name. It’s been four days since the last time I was with her and each one feels like an eternity. I’m losing my fucking mind over here and the one thing that can make me feel better, the one person I need can’t even stand to be in the same room as me.
What did I do?
My eyes burn and my chest aches as the morning the protestors showed up plays through my mind. We woke up in bed together and her smile was so damn bright and happy, making me believe that everything was going to work out, that we all stood a chance. I remember pressing my lips to her neck and inhaling her scent - hazelnut and something else that I can’t quite put my finger on but it always makes me think of warmth and comfort - and I slipped inside her, kissing her and making love to her until we were both shaking. And then everything fell apart. Pain splinters through me and I grab the bottle, flinging it at the wall and watching it shatter into a hundred pieces but even that doesn’t relieve the ache in my chest.
Fuck.
I miss her.
“Are you okay?”
I spin around and meet her eyes as she stands at the entrance of the hallway, her arms crossed over her chest as she leans against the wall in her sleep shorts and tank top, watching me with a cautious gaze.