by Me, Tara Sue
“No, thank goodness. I think I'll lay low and just be single for a bit. I don’t have to have a guy to fulfill my life.”
“Of course you don’t.”
Julie didn’t say anything else, although, Kate got the distinct impression she wanted to say more. She glanced to her side and sure enough, Julie’s lips were pressed tightly together as if it took all her strength to keep from talking.
“What?” Kate asked.
Julie shook her head. “It’s nothing. I have to remind myself that you’re not Sasha, and I shouldn’t be saying any old thing to you.”
“What did you want to say? Or I guess I should ask, what would you have said if I was Sasha?”
“I don’t hold back on Sasha, fair warning. We were roommates in college and now we own a business together. Needless to say, we’re always completely honest with each other.”
Kate had never had a girlfriend like that before. “I can appreciate that.”
“Like when Cole was training her, and she told me they were going to do a bit of twenty-four, seven? I told her it was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard of and that she would be a horrible slave.” She gave a short laugh and glanced at Kate with a smile. “I said I spoke my mind to her. That doesn’t mean I’m always right.”
From what she had gathered about Sasha’s past before Cole, Kate could understand where Julie had been coming from with her initial assessment.
“And I still think she’d make a horrible slave to anyone other than Cole.”
They walked a for a few more steps in silence. Kate assumed that Julie had either forgotten about or wasn’t going to bring up what she’d been holding back. She was surprised when the other woman turned to her.
“So when you say you don’t need a man in your life, do you mean any man or just those of the dominant nature?” Julie asked.
Kate tilted her head. “That’s the crux of the whole thing isn’t it? I don’t want a dominant man and I can’t stand to be with one who isn’t.”
“You don’t want a dominant man or you don’t want Cole? Or you don’t want what you had with Cole?”
Kate was stunned by how the questions hit right at the heart of her issues. She thought through her answer before speaking it out loud, about what she wanted from a relationship and how she’d never seen anything like it before. “I think I’m afraid that what I want, or what I think I want, is so different, that I’ll never find anyone who wants the same thing.”
“It’s not about the men, then?”
Kate thought through the question in her mind. There was no simple answer. To disagree and say it was about men would imply that she had voiced her concerns to multiple men and no one had been able to help. The truth was, she had only voiced one part of her desires to a man, Fritz. And he’d fulfilled it.
But if she agreed, then the problem was with her and she wasn’t ready to accept that. How could what she want be a problem?
“You ask some hard questions,” she told Julie. “And they aren’t ones I can answer quickly. I need to think through them.”
“Of course. I hope they help.”
They turned and started back to the house. They chatted a little as they walked, but not about anything of consequence. Kate was glad because it gave her time to think about Julie’s questions.
“Look,” Julie said when they weren’t far from the main house. “There’s Daniel. I wonder if he’s waiting for us?”
“Must be for you. I doubt he’s wanting to talk to me.”
They were both surprised, when after giving Julie a quick kiss, he turned to Kate. “I need to speak with you for a minute.”
Kate tried to cover her shock. “Would you like to come into the guesthouse for a few minutes?”
“That would be great.” He reached out and took Julie’s hand, and they all three walked to the guesthouse.
Once inside, she got herself and Julie some water. Daniel turned down the offer, and they all sat in the living room.
“Is everything okay?” Julie asked him.
“Yes, it’s nothing too bad. I’m just in a mess.” Daniel sighed and looked up at Kate. “Please know, I wouldn’t ask you this if there was any other option. And of course, please feel free to say no.”
Kate leaned forward. “If there’s something I can do to help you, I’ll be more than happy to do whatever it is.”
“Thank you. Let me tell you what it is first because you might change your mind.”
Kate couldn’t imagine what it could be, but he looked anxious about it. “Okay,” she said.
“I had a phone call from Cole a few minutes ago. Sasha has come down with the flu that’s going around. He is beside himself. It’s the first time she’s been sick on him.”
“She’s okay?”
“Yes. I think so. He’s just overreacting. But the flu has been nasty this year.”
Kate knew that for fact. Several of the people working at the club had been out the past week with the flu. So many in fact that they had fallen behind schedule. Hopefully, when everyone got back on board and was well, they could move forward and still meet their deadline.
“The problem is,” Daniel continued. “The next play party is supposed to be at their house. This Friday. Normally we wouldn’t care and we’d just cancel it, but we have a special guest in town, as you know.”
Kate forced herself not to roll her eyes. Fritz.
“Our alternate location for parties, is the West’s house. Unfortunately, because of the flu situation, Nathanial and Abby are taking the children back to New York until everything dies down around here. That leaves my house.”
He didn’t have to say anything more, Julie had told her on the way back to the house that Daniel’s sister and her two children were coming to stay with them for a few weeks.
“Oh,” she said as the reason why Daniel wanted to speak with her became clear.
“When I offered for you to stay here at the guesthouse, I had no intention of ever using the space for anything else.”
“You want to have the party here?” She asked.
“No, not the party. I wanted to know if it’d be okay with you if Fritz performed his demo in the garage.”
Fritz, here? Where she was staying?
“Honestly,” he said. “If it’s not okay, I understand. I thought I’d ask, since you have familiarity with the lifestyle.”
“No, it’s okay.” Damn, she couldn’t turn him down simply because she didn’t want Fritz back in her place. Besides, it was Daniel’s property, and he wasn’t charging her anything to stay here. “Of course you can use the garage for the demo.”
Relief washed over Daniel’s face. “Thank you, Kate. You’re a life saver. I know it seems trivial, but Fritz was a group favorite the last time he was in town. Everyone has been so excited to have him back and willing to do another demo.”
As the couple left and Kate stood alone in the guesthouse, it hit her what she’d agreed to have happen. It was more than Fritz doing a demo. He’d be doing it with another sub. Right in her living space, temporary though it might be, and more than that, he’d be doing it mere steps away from where he’d given her the best night of her life.
8
Early on Friday evening, Daniel and Julie came by the guesthouse to meet Fritz for setup. They arrived early and Daniel once again thanked Kate for letting them use the garage.
“Really,” she told him. “It’s fine.”
“If you’d feel more comfortable, you’re welcome to hang out at the main house if you’d like.”
“I’ll just stay in the living room or the bedroom here if it’s okay.” If she went to the main house, she’d be with his sister and her kids. She’d heard them playing outside and had no desire to get any closer to mass chaos that seemed to follow them everywhere.
“That’s fine.” He nodded to the driveway where Fritz’s rental car had just turned in. “And here he is. We’ll be in the garage and out of your hair soon.”
“No big deal,�
�� she mumbled.
She could tell something was off as soon as Fritz stepped out of the car. He glanced at the three of them and ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t smile as he made his way to where the three of them stood.
“Fritz?” Daniel asked.
Fritz came to a stop before them, shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed. “It doesn’t seem as if I’m meant to do a demo on this visit.”
“What’s happened?” Daniel asked.
“Derrick called and his sub isn’t going to be able to demo with me tonight. They've rushed her to the hospital because of respiratory issues. Probably the flu. He says they won't admit her, and she’s okay, but obviously tonight’s not going to happen.”
Daniel sighed. “At least she’s okay. We’ll just cancel tonight. I probably should have done it before, but everyone was so excited.”
“He just called me,” Fritz said. “I wish I had been able to give you more notice. It’s so close to time now, you probably won’t catch everyone.”
“Don’t worry about it. You can’t help the way it turned out.” Daniel clapped Fritz on the back. “Though if you want to help, you can join me and Julie in making phone calls.”
“Wait. What?” Kate didn’t understand. “You’re just going to cancel? Just like that? It’s a BDSM group. I’m sure there’ll be a good number of women and men, who would jump at the chance to work with Fritz.”
Fritz gave her a small smile. “Thank you for your vote of confidence in me, Kate. Unfortunately, for what I had planned to demo tonight, I need more than a willing partner. I need someone I know I can trust and preferably someone I’ve played with before.”
She hadn’t heard what the demo was to be, but if Fritz felt that strongly about who he wanted to partner with, it had to be intense, and probably involved edge play.
Suddenly, she wanted to know. She’d told herself she didn’t care and she could ignore the crowd that would be in the garage, but she knew she’d been lying to herself.
“What type demo were you going to do?” She almost didn’t ask him, not wanting to deal with any remarks about how she wasn’t in the lifestyle any longer.
Even so there was a knowing look in his eye when he answered, “Fire.”
Her knees threatened to buckle at the thought of doing a fire scene with him. Damn, but that would be amazing. She hoped she didn’t sound as frazzled as she felt when she replied, “I see. That explains your hesitation to play with just anyone.”
Was that disappointment she saw in his eyes? Surely not.
She licked her lips and started to say something.
No.
She clenched her fists, imagining him standing at her side, making sure she saw the flame that would soon kiss her skin.
Just one more time.
She could no longer find a reason not to.
“We’re going to go make calls,” Daniel said and held his hand out for Julie. They hadn’t gone but a few steps before Kate called out.
“Daniel, wait!”
He turned. “Yes, Kate?”
“I can do it.” Kate refused to look at Fritz. “I mean if it’s okay with the two of you.”
“Actually.” Daniel’s gaze flickered back to Fritz before landing back on her. “It’s not up to me at all. I only approve the demo, I’ve never had or wanted a say in who the Dom selected to run it with.”
Taking a deep breath, she turned to look at Fritz. He stood, arms crossed, watching her closely. She couldn’t read his expression though. Those piercing eyes of his gave zero insight as to what was going on inside his mind.
“Julie and I can leave if you two need to talk,” Daniel said when the silence bordered on uncomfortable.
“No, stay,” Fritz said, never taking his eyes off Kate. To her he said, “Why would you volunteer when you’ve made no secret of the fact you have no interest in being in the lifestyle?”
“For one, I meet the requirements. I’m an experienced submissive who has been in numerous fire scenes. I’ve played with you before and maybe I’m speaking out of turn, but I believe you know you can trust me during the session.”
“I would agree with everything you’ve said so far.” He tilted his head. “What other reasons do you have?”
That wasn’t enough? “Sir?”
“When I asked you why you would step in and volunteer, your answer began with ‘For one’ which leads me to believe there was at least a number two and possibly a number three.”
She didn’t bat an eye. “Two, I’ve always enjoyed fire scenes.”
He waited.
“Three,” she said. “It would make me happy to help the group. And four, I’ve enjoyed playing with you every time we’ve been together, and I’m willing to bet you’d be an incredible Top to have during a fire demo.”
“Thank you for your honesty, Kate.” He spoke calmly and yet, she still couldn’t get a read on what he could be thinking. “One more question.”
Her heart pounded. “Yes?”
“Fire flogging or drumming?”
* * *
Two hours later, Kate knelt at Fritz’s feet as he addressed the thirty-some group members who showed up to watch the demo. Daniel had been correct, the garage was almost filled, and she knew several members were out sick. However, at the moment, she wasn’t thinking about how many people came or were absent. She breathed deeply, focusing on the movement of air in and out of her body and concentrating on the only thing she needed to concern herself with for the time being.
Herr Brose.
He was addressing the group, but she wasn’t paying attention to his words. She tuned her body into his. So much so, that after a few minutes, she almost felt as if she could sense his breathing. She knew she couldn’t, but the overall feeling made her feel even more connected to him, which she needed to be for the upcoming scene.
He was talking about her now and bid her to stand and make her way to the table. Before the group arrived, he’d gone over everything with her. From the Duvetyne draped table she’d be on, to the equipment he planned to use, to the numerous safety items within reach.
Once she was on her back on the table, he took a wet towel and wrapped her hair. “As you can see, Kate has long hair, and it’s important you ensure it is up and out of the way. I prefer to go a step further and wrap it so there’s no possibility of it catching on fire.”
She was thankful of the cool towel for another reason - it helped to ease the heat rising from her skin at the excitement of what they were doing.
“I have her on her back for this first part, so I can show you an example of the simplest way to work with fire. I will reiterate again, this is not a training session. It is a demo, and by watching it, you are still in no way prepared to use fire if you are not experienced. Especially on another person.”
He turned his focus to her. “Are you ready?”
She set her gaze on her predetermined focal point, took a deep breath, and answered, “Yes, Herr Brose.”
He spoke after that, but addressed the crowd and not her, so she tuned him out. Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
The coolness of the fuel.
Breathe out.
The heat of the flame.
Sucked a breath in.
His hand erasing it all.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Except for a few gasps here and there, the room was silent as he worked. He no longer spoke, his entire focus on her and what he was doing. Though she kept her eyes on her focal point, she could see each time he touched her with fire.
Soon, it all blended together. The dancing flame, the heat, and the soothing feel of his touch. Her vision grew hazy, but she kept her eyes open because she didn’t want to miss a second to darkness. It was all too surreal, the flickering light she felt so close to her body and the jolt of danger followed by the diligent hands she’d placed her life in. A few times, he went over an area twice and the pain would be sharper, but th
en the sweet coolness of his touch likewise felt doubled.
Then there was only silence. And she waited.
Strong, knowledgeable hands stroked ointment on her skin.
He brushed her face. “Can you move to your belly?”
She whispered her reply, and he helped her settle into position. He checked her back, ensured her hair remained out of the way, and then brushed his lips against her nape.
“Are you okay to continue?” He asked against her skin, and she shivered at his touch.
“Yes, Herr Brose.”
He kissed her once more before addressing the group. As he detailed what he would do, how he had prepared her, and once more gave several safety warnings, she closed her eyes. For this part, she would sink into darkness. Unless there had been a mirror set up so she could see, she usually closed her eyes for what was to come. Fritz had asked her if she wanted him to set up something so she could watch, but she’d said no. She wanted to close her eyes and just feel him as he did what he wished to her body.
She’d only been part of a fire drumming scene a few times before. Fire play had never been one of Cole’s favorite activities, and while she’d enjoyed it the few times they’d took part, it’d never registered as something she ever thought she’d seek on her own. But when Fritz had asked her, flogging or drumming, she knew she had to experience it with him.
She again focused on the air moving in and out of her body. Once he started, she tried to imagine how the scene looked to those who had gathered. Except for a few candles, the lights were out to add to the effect, but all she could focus on was how good it felt.
She only knew he’d stopped because she no longer heard her body hum in pleasure. Something warm, soft, and heavy settled along her back, followed by the softest of kisses on her nape. She sighed.
Warm breath against her skin…
“Back with me yet, Kate?”
Mmm, that deliciously delectable German accent. “No,” she said.
He chuckled and lifted her in his arms. She turned her head and buried it in his chest while he took her to wherever they were going. Once he sat down, she looked up to discover they were in her bedroom.