No.
A lump forms in my throat and tears sting my eyes. This isn’t the way it’s supposed to end. My chances of playing the Rock Heart Festival have officially dropped down to zero. I stare at the backstage entrance. I’m so close yet so far. All that effort, all that work. I worked my ass off all summer to get here and I was five minutes late. Now what? How am I supposed to get a record deal now? Or maybe this is a sign that I should finally admit defeat and go to law school, just like my dad wanted me to all along. I let out a long sigh. I don’t know how this moment could get any worse.
A tall figure walks past my peripheral as he heads toward the backstage entrance. I instantly recognize his size, his build.
“Holy crap… Henry Sinner?” I’m instantly entranced as I watch him.
The pink-haired woman, her eyes on Sinner, gives me a nod. “He’s the surprise artist performing at the end of the night.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Through the chainlink fence, I watch Henry Sinner disappear into a trailer by the backstage area.
I’m missing a chance to open for Henry Sinner? And not just that, but my former band is opening for him? I could have opened for him? My heart breaks all over again.
Taking a few deep breaths to compose myself, I know I have to turn around and face Andrea and Jackie. I’m sure they’ll be just as disappointed as I am. After all, they stuck by me all summer. They’ve been supporting me for as long as Dirty Laundry has existed. And now they have to see me like this. Squeezing my eyes shut, I debate whether I should turn around at all.
“If it isn’t Ms. Sweet,” a familiar raspy voice says.
My stomach drops to my feet. Opening my eyes, I see Chuck through the chainlink fence. He looks like he hasn’t washed his greasy hair since he left me out in the woods. His attempt at hobo chic is more like hobo stench.
“Looks like you wanted to play with the band after all.” There’s a smug smirk on his face.
“Oh look, it’s the man who abandoned me,” I say indignantly.
“Babe, I didn’t mean to leave you. It was all a big misunderstanding.”
I cringe. “Please don’t call me babe.”
“Babe—” He stops. “Okay, fine. Have it your way. Listen, I wanted to go back to get you multiple times but—”
“But you didn’t. Come on, Chuck. Stop lying for once in your life.”
“Okay, whatever.” He secures his grip on his guitar. “Are you gonna play with me?”
I laugh. “You want me to play with you? After everything you’ve done to me?”
“Yeah, of course. We’re a team, remember?” He gets closer, grabbing the fencing between us and leaning against it. “Come on, babe. Wasn’t this our dream from the beginning? You know I need you out there.”
“You need me?” I’m laughing even harder now. “I can’t believe my ears! You need me? At least you have the balls to admit it!”
He furrows his brow. “Stop fucking around, Amber.”
“But I thought Dirty Laundry had internet buzz.” I look around for the rest of the band. “Where is Bob anyway?”
“Bob’s a loser. The band didn’t need him anymore.”
“Wow. First, you lose me. Then you lose Bob. It sounds like you’re the common denominator in this shitty equation.”
“Don’t use fancy words with me.” His tone becomes dark. “Now come on, we’re stronger together. Hurry up.”
Staring through the fencing, I shake my head. “All you ever did was use me, Chuck. Why the hell would I ever go back to that?”
His lips turn into a wicked grin. “Because this is your only chance at playing at the Rock Heart Festival. And I know how much you want this.”
My stomach twists with uneasiness. I look past him at the trailer where Henry Sinner is, then I look out at the back of the stage. I can hear the crowd cheering. This is my chance to play at The Rock Heart Festival. It’s right here within reach.
“Come on, babe,” Chuck says in his soft voice—an attempt at seduction, I’m sure. “This is what we’ve been dreaming about.”
I stare at his unshaven face and greasy bun. I’ve been dying to play at this festival. But why? Not simply to play, but to get a record deal. To advance my career. And I don’t want Chuck anywhere near my career. I don’t want him anywhere near me.
Biting my lip, I turn around and look back at Andrea and Jackie who are watching the situation intently. Confronting Chuck again, I stand a bit taller.
“I’ll only get on that stage if you let me play completely alone.”
“Ha!” He laughs. “Yeah-fucking-right! There’s no way I’m not getting on that stage.”
“Well, then… I won’t play with you at all.”
“Excuse me?” There’s that familiar menace in his voice again. “You can’t do that.”
“I’m a rock star. I can do whatever the fuck I want.”
His face twists into an expression of annoyance. Smirking, I take a moment of satisfaction knowing I’m about to piss him off so bad.
“You know, someone taught me to believe in myself, to follow my dreams. They supported me and they made me a better person, a better artist. All you ever did was rip me apart and belittle me. Chuck, the truth is… I’m not me when I’m with you.”
“Wait… you’re with someone?” There’s an annoyed tone in his voice. He pulls back from the fence, causing it to rattle.
“Yeah. And I have to thank you. If it weren’t for you leaving me out in the middle of nowhere, I never would have met that person. And you know who that person is?”
He shrugs. “Some asshole?”
“Me.”
He laughs. “You wanna do this on your own? You couldn’t even if you tried.”
“Oh yeah? Watch me.”
The woman with the pink hair signals for Chuck’s attention. “One minute to stage time.”
Chuck looks at me. His jaw is tense. “You have to play with me.”
“I don’t have to do anything.” Stepping a bit closer to the fence, I lower my voice. “Actions have consequences. These are simply the consequences of yours. Good luck. You’re gonna need it.”
“Fine!” He angrily rattles the fence. “I didn’t need you anyway. Bitch.”
I know I shouldn’t give him the satisfaction of a response, but I can’t help myself.
“The most badass bitch you’ll ever meet,” I say. Lifting my hand, I give him the finger followed by a cute little wave. “Good luck out there. You’ll need it.”
Smirking to myself, I imprint the image of his dumb-struck face in my mind before turning around and walking away. My heart is racing in my chest. I can’t believe I just did that! Endorphins are rushing through my body. Taking a moment to breathe, I hear the announcer’s voice introducing Dirty Laundry over the speakers. The crowd cheers but they sound miles away. The realization of what I just did dawns on me. The endorphins disappear instantly. I just turned down the chance to play at the Rock Heart Festival. I just turned down the chance to open for Henry Sinner.
I let out a deep, slow sigh. I worked so hard all summer and I came up short. As I try to digest what just happened, I hear Chuck’s raspy voice and his sloppy guitar butchering one of my songs in the distance. I squeeze my eyes shut. That’s supposed to be my song, my moment. The anxiety of failure crushes in around me. What now? With no record deal, I’ll have to return home with my tail tucked between my legs. My dad will force me to go to college in the fall. My music career will be over. Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to ignore the crushing feeling bearing down on my chest but the sound of the crowd, the “music”, and the frantic energy buzzing all around isn’t helping.
“That was so badass!” Andrea says.
Looking up, I see Jackie and Andrea smiling at me. There’s hope and excitement in their eyes.
They’re not disappointed?
“I hope you don’t mind,” Jackie says. “But I was streaming that to my fan page. Everyone thinks you’re awesome!”
“Everyone?” I ask.
She holds up her phone so that I can see the screen. Several hundred people are watching the stream of me telling off Chuck. Comments are popping up faster than I can read them.
Keri98: Yeah! Tell that loser off!
jojojo: Amber is so beautiful. Heart-eye emojis for dayzzzz
I watch Chuck’s crestfallen face as I give him the finger. I bring my hand to my mouth and laugh. “Did I really just do that?”
Andrea nods. “He really needed a dose of his own medicine, to be honest.”
“Hundo,” Jackie adds.
I’m still watching Jackie’s screen as more likes and comments come in.
catqueen: please don’t play w that scrub i’m begging u
SunriseKingdom00: I hope she plays Bermuda!!! Can’t stop watching the video.
I’ve got fans. Fans. Maybe this isn’t over at all. Besides, I’m at the Rock Heart Festival and I’ve got an audience. I can at least play the Rock Heart Festival in my own way. If anything, I can at least put on a better show than Chuck can. The sound of feedback screeches through the speakers causing everyone to bring their hands up to their ears. I cringe.
“Alright, ladies. Are you ready for a real concert?”
“Yes!” Andrea and Jackie jump and celebrate enthusiastically.
Since we’re behind the stage, the music is muffled enough for them to hear me. I look around aimlessly for a second, half-expecting to see my guitar. It’s like a phantom limb that I keep forgetting I don’t have. Without a guitar, I’ll have to use the instrumentals on my phone. Luckily, I have my music software and all my files saved in the cloud. I navigate to the instrumental and turn the volume all the way up.
“I’m not sure if you guys will be able to hear this,” I say as I hold the phone to my ear. It’s barely audible over Chuck’s misplayed notes and the occasional booing from the audience.
“Here.” Andrea reaches into her backpack and pulls out a small wireless speaker.
“Yes!”
I connect it to my phone before setting it on the bench behind me. At this point, I have a small gathering of curious people waiting to see what I’m about to do.
“Hey everybody,” I say. “Thanks for hanging around to watch me play. This is my new song. It’s called Bermuda.”
Andrea and Jackie cheer. Andrea cheers while Jackie holds the phone up to live-stream my performance.
This is it. I’m playing at the Rock Heart Festival. Sure, I’m backstage and I’m only playing for six people, but that’s enough. The rush of self-satisfaction and pride pushes through me. I start the instrumental and the music plays loudly enough for the small crowd to hear. I start moving to the beat. I feel comfortable and confident, remembering just how much music transforms me.
“Baby, come closer,
I won’t scare you away,
And no, please don’t go,
I want you to stay.
The crowd starts dancing to the beat along with me.
“I have one request from you,
Baby, let’s get lost together.
That’s all I want to do,
let’s find our Bermuda.”
I notice that Andrea and Jackie are singing along. They know the lyrics already? Cool!
Smiling, I scan the crowd. It’s a diverse group of people—there are teenage boys, an older couple, and a group of women all dancing along. All but one. In the back, I see a man standing wearing dark sunglasses and a black hoodie. Although he’s trying to obscure his face, I recognize him instantly.
Gabe.
28
PHOENIX
Amber
Everything else falls away as I stare at Gabe. I can’t believe he’s here. After all, I took his motorcycle and left him in the middle of the woods with his nightmare of a father. How did he get here, anyway? When there’s a break in the song, he holds up a guitar. Narrowing my eyes, I recognize his signature style in the pinkish-red ripples of the cedarwood. He made me a guitar? There’s an instrumental break in the song so I gesture for him to approach me. Making his way through the small crowd, he keeps his face hidden as he walks up to me.
“What are you doing here?” I say in a low voice, leaning in so that only he can hear me.
He pulls off his sunglasses so that I can see him better. Conflicting feelings rush through me as I look into his dark eyes. He looks like the handsome stranger on the cover of all those magazines… but he also looks like Gabe. Just Gabe. The same guy I’ve always known.
“I couldn’t miss Amber Sweet playing live at the Rock Heart Festival, now could I?” He smiles.
The presence of his usual woodsy scent calms me. I smile.
“Here.” He hands me the beautiful instrument. “Keep playing, Phoenix.”
Looking back at the crowd, I pull the guitar strap over my shoulder. The size of the guitar complements my size perfectly. It doesn’t overpower me like Ghost did. The beige and pink-red cedarwood is smooth and solid to the touch, not splintering or porous. And it almost feels warm under my fingertips, pulsing with my heartbeat as if the music is fighting to get out. Holding the instrument close to my ear, I lightly pluck each string to see if they’re tuned. They are. Of course they are. Gabe doesn’t skip any details. As the beat comes in, I loudly strum a C-chord.
Holy effing unicorns!
The guitar plays like a dream! The sound is crisp and clean as the vibration resonates beautifully through the wooden body of the instrument. It blows away all lingering memories of Ghost. I look up at Gabe who is in the back of the crowd again, trying to avoid recognition. I smile at him.
“Thank you,” I mouth. He nods.
As I play a short acoustic guitar solo over the pulsing electronic beat, I notice a small crowd is forming as more people stop to watch. The crowd applauds when I reach the end of the solo and start singing again. It’s time for the bridge. I know I can go with the usual lyrics but I can’t help but improvise a bit.
“And all I wanted was to be alone with you,” I sing.
Although I’m looking at Gabe, I can see both Andrea and Jackie silently reacting in my peripheral as they know I’m changing the lyrics.
“Now we’re surrounded by people and I don’t know what to do.”
Gabe pulls his sunglasses off again so that I can see his dark eyes. As he stares at me, I know he’s listening.
“You messed up,
And I misunderstood,
But we all make mistakes,
More than we ever think we could.”
His eyes watch me with unbridled intensity.
“I want the real you.
Not the fake you.
So, please tell me
You want to get lost with me too.
His lips lift into a subtle smirk.
“So, let’s get lost together, baby…
Let’s find our Bermuda.”
Still staring at Gabe, I pluck the last four strings as the pre-recorded beat ends. I don’t realize just how many people are watching until they break out into applause. Several people are still filming, while others approach me for selfies and signatures, pulling my attention away from Gabe.
“Oh my god!” Andrea and Jackie stand at my side. “That was incredible. Was it a remix? Will you make a video for that version too?”
There are too many questions to answer all at once. I’m too busy looking over everyone’s heads, searching for Gabe but he’s gone. Did he leave? What if he wants nothing to do with me? After all, it was clear that he wanted to stay at Marigold’s house. He wanted to stay anonymous and private.
Scanning the crowd again, I don’t see him. A feeling of disappointment washes over me. There are still so many questions that need answering. There are so many words that still need to be said.
“Can I have a selfie?” A dark-haired young man asks.
Pulling my eyes from the crowd, I look around at the new fans who have gathered around me.
“Sure.” I smile at the absurdity of someone wanting my
picture. I take some selfies and give out a few autographs.
“Brilliant marketing!” The dark-haired man says. “I’ve been waiting for this ever since I read about your disappearance online earlier this summer.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Really? You’ve been reading about me?”
“Yeah! When I saw the picture of your old broken guitar on the side of the road, I knew we were in for a treat. I mean, you disappear for two months and that’s our first sign of you? Chuck’s old guitar? Brilliant! And then the video dropped an hour later… and now this? The rejection of Chuck, the song, the new guitar… I’ve got chills. It’s the best kind of viral marketing I’ve seen in a while!”
Others in the crowd nod along. Smiling to myself, I hold back the fact that it was all unintentional. I managed to create buzz for myself completely by accident! I thank them as I take a few more selfies. As the crowd disperses, I turn to Jackie and Andrea.
“Hey girls?” I look at Andrea and Jackie. “Thanks for getting me here. And thanks for caring about me. It’s cool to have you two as fans.”
Jackie links her arm in Andrea’s. “We just love you so much.”
“Oh my god!” Andrea holds up her phone. “The stream I took of you is trending! That’s two videos trending in one day!”
“Really? My song?”
“Look!”
Sure enough, there’s the video of me singing and it already has thousands of views. I watch my impromptu performance. I sound and look good. Really good. And others agree—I can see the likes and comments coming in.
“Whoa,” Andrea says. “Is that Gabriel Chase?”
My heart squeezes in my chest as I search for him onscreen. But the video only shows me. Even when he leans in to hand me the guitar, his face is not visible. I hear Andrea and Jackie frantically whispering to one another. Lifting my gaze, I notice that they’re staring at a man standing off to the side in a secluded area by a tree. He still has his hood on to avoid unwanted attention but the girls have clearly spotted him. He pulls off his sunglasses again and I catch his gaze. I see a spark in his eye. I let out a soft exhale of relief as a smile slowly spreads across my face. I subtlely wave at him.
Chase: A Secret Millionaire Romance Novel Page 21