“Ach, Michael. What is going on? Why are you sleeping out here on the couch? Where is your fraa?” He couldn’t even process all of Dawdi’s words, his mind thick with emotions he’d never experienced.
“Miri…she’s not here?” His voice trembled.
“Nee. No sign of her this morning.” Dawdi frowned. “What’s going on, Michael?”
“I blew it, Dawdi.”
“What do you mean?”
Michael moved to the desk, where he’d left the letter last night. He handed it to Dawdi. “Read this.”
Dawdi’s eyes quickly scanned the words on the page. “You know this woman?”
He shrugged. “In a manner of speaking, I guess you can say that. Not well at all.” In fact, he barely remembered her.
“And you told Miriam?”
“I did. Because she likely has HIV now too.”
“Likely? But you are not sure? I think you should be tested, ain’t so?”
“I plan to do that today.” He placed a hand on his grossdawdi’s shoulder. “Dawdi, will you pray for me? For us?”
Dawdi nodded. “Jah, I will pray for you right now.” He bowed his head and Michael followed suit. When he’d finished, his head rose and he stared Michael in the eye. “Whatever the outcome, Der Herr will be with you, sohn. He will never leave you.”
And in that moment, Michael drew Dawdi tight, and broke down once again.
~
Michael figured it would be best to give Miri time to process their new revelation. He hadn’t even had the opportunity to share the good news with her yet, news of their court hearing. But…would the judge deny them custody of their son if they tested positive for HIV? The thought bothered him more than he cared to admit.
“Ach, Gott. I have done so many things wrong. Please untangle this mess I’ve made of my life. Please, at the very least, bring my fraa back to me.”
His driver stopped in front of the pharmacy and Michael hopped out. “I shouldn’t be long.”
He jogged into the store, hoping he wouldn’t see anyone he knew. He quickly found the test, grabbed a couple other things so as not to appear conspicuous or draw attention to the test box. Once it was paid for, he slipped the box into the beanie he’d just purchased. He wished they’d had flowers available. He could have purchased some for Miri. Not that it would make a difference.
How could he have gone from the best day of his life to the worst in less than twenty-four hours?
~
It was been mid-morning when Miriam stumbled back onto Sammy’s property. She’d hoped a trip down to the creek would clear her head, but it hadn’t. She’d been relieved when she spied Michael leaving with a driver. She couldn’t face him this morning. Not after all that had been said between them last night.
She’d been fooling herself, entertaining a fairytale, believing that she and Michael Eicher could actually have a happy life together. But that was all it was—a fairytale.
She pulled the screen door open and stepped into Sammy’s house like she had a thousand times before. Sammy sat at the table, Bible open in front of him, sipping a cup of coffee. He glanced up from his meditation, an empathetic smile gracing his lips.
“Is there more hot water?” She walked into the kitchen.
“Jah, on the stove.”
She scooped a serving of instant coffee into a mug and added the simmering water.
“There are some eggs in the pan as well. I saved some for you.”
“Ach, Sammy. I’m sorry. I should have been the one to make breakfast.” She dished a little onto her plate, along with a slice of bread.
“You had other things on your mind this morning, ain’t so?”
“Jah.” She slid into her chair at the table, then bowed her head in silent prayer. Steam rising from her coffee mug cautioned her to think twice before indulging in a sip.
Sammy’s wizened hand slid across the table and covered hers. “Want to talk about it, maedel?”
“I think I made a mistake.” Her heart squeezed tight at the words.
“Marrying mei gross sohn?”
She nodded.
“Why did you marry him?”
She shrugged. “I thought it made sense. We have a boppli together. I thought he’d changed. He asked me to marry him. I loved him.”
“But now?”
“Now, I just don’t know. I don’t know if it’s enough.”
“Do you still love him?”
“I think so.”
“Did you expect your life to be perfect?”
“Nee, I did not. But I didn’t expect this.”
“When you marry someone, you marry every part of them. The good and the bad. Including their past mistakes.”
Her lips curved downward. “I’ve never thought of it that way.”
“You promised to love him for better or worse, in sickness and in health.”
“I know.”
“Do you know what love does?”
She shook her head.
“Love covers a multitude of sins. Jesus was our example of this. True love knows no bounds.” Sammy’s words pierced her heart.
He stood from the table, slid his closed Bible back to the center, and placed his empty coffee cup on the counter. “You and Michael need each other right now. Don’t allow the enemy to tear you apart.”
Miriam nodded and watched Sammy walk out the back door. She needed to spend some time in prayer.
~
The screen door groaned in protest as Michael hefted it open and stepped into the house. He hadn’t seen anyone outside, so he guessed Dawdi must be inside. He wondered if Miri had returned. With all his heart, he hoped she hadn’t gone back to her folks’ place. He’d be devastated if he’d lost her for good.
The moment he saw her standing at the sink, his heart plunged into his gut. Thank you for bringing her home, Gott. He had no idea what words to say to her to fix their situation. He’d already apologized. Of course, he realized a mere apology could not erase their circumstances or smooth away the hurt he’d caused.
He refrained from approaching her, but instead dropped his purchases off in their bedroom. Their bedroom. The one his brand-new fraa had slept in alone last night. Way to go, Michael. Best Husband of the Year Award right there. He squeezed his eyes shut against the self-deprecation threatening to overtake him.
Desperation clawed at him. He needed to make things right, but hadn’t a clue how to accomplish that task. God, I need Your help.
With purposeful steps, he strode toward the kitchen with a confidence he wasn’t feeling. But he was trusting God to put the words in his mouth. His approach slowed as he entered the dining area.
Miri was drying her hands on a towel. At any moment, she’d turn around, but he didn’t wish to startle her.
“Miri.” His tone was gentle.
She turned at the sound of his voice. “Michael.” She sounded sad.
He’d been responsible for that. A new fraa should be thrilled at the sight of her beloved entering the room. “May we…talk?”
“Talk?” Her brow slightly rose along with the corner of her mouth. She was teasing him?
His heart soared. “Unless you have something else in mind.” He smiled, his heartbeat quickening with each second, with each step she took toward him.
“They say the best part about fighting when you’re married is you get to kiss and make up.” She was definitely teasing. She curled her fingers around one of his suspenders and pulled him close enough to kiss. “I’m sorry.”
He swallowed and nodded. “Me…me too.”
Her palm planted on his chest. “Good.”
Unable to help himself, one of his hands encircled her waist, pulling her against him, the other one instinctively slipped behind her head. He growled before their lips met, before they kindled more than just a flame.
“Wait.” He tore himself away.
Her eyes opened, cheeks alive with color. “What is it?”
“I need to say something. Two somethings, actuall
y.”
“Say on.”
“Make that three somethings. One. I love you like crazy, and I don’t ever want to be without you.” He kissed her on the mouth, then pulled back. “Two. I took a test and we’re not HIV positive.” He gently pecked her nose.
She gasped. “We’re not?”
He shook his head. “And three, we have a court hearing for custody of our son next month.” He feathered tiny kisses across her cheek.
“We do?”
He nodded. “That was my other piece of mail.”
“Ach, that’s wunderbaar!”
He grasped the front of her apron and drew her near again. “I think mei fraa is wunderbaar.” Instead of resuming their posture, he lifted her into his arms.
“Michael.” She gasped as he continued toward their bedroom. “But it’s the middle of the day!”
He closed the door behind them with his foot, bending to meet her lips. “Love has no timetable, fraa. And I’m sure Dawdi will understand.”
THIRTY
The worst part about making a confession before the g’may, Miriam decided, was having to wait three hours till the end of the church meeting. How did they expect one to concentrate on the songs or sermons if they were anticipating their impending humiliation in front of their peers? Each second felt like a minute. Each minute, an hour.
She was glad that she and Michael wouldn’t be allowed to attend the common meal afterwards. Surely, they’d be too ashamed to face everyone. Hopefully, by the end of the six-week ban, their friends would forget it ever happened. Not likely. Especially since they were attempting to get custody of their son.
The comforting part in all this was knowing that she and Michael were in the ban together. She couldn’t imagine not conversing, eating, or sleeping with her husband for six weeks. She was quite certain that part was not in the Bible. Nee, it said what Gott had joined together let no man put asunder.
Michael attempted to send her reassuring smiles during the service, but she sensed his nervousness too. She couldn’t wait for it to just be over.
The bishop finally stood up. “I’d like all the members to remain seated.”
Miriam felt her cheeks growing hot. This had been the moment she’d been dreading, yet wanted to get over with, since first learning she and Michael would be making a confession.
All of the children and non-members filed out of Mose Borntrager’s house.
“It was brought to the attention of the leaders that two of our members, Michael and Miriam Eicher, have been living in sin, to the result of producing a child out-of-wedlock. It is our duty to correct our brethren and sisters when they go astray.” The bishop glanced at her, then at Michael. “If Michael and Miriam will now leave the building, the members will vote on a suitable punishment.”
Both she and Michael rose and exited the building. She’d kept her head down the entire time. Now they would wait until they were called back inside. They were likely discussing the matter and taking a vote from each member.
One of the men called them back into the house. They each returned to their seats.
The bishop then gave the verdict. “The g’may has agreed that a confession and a six-week ban is sufficient. Please repeat after me…With heartfelt sorrow, I acknowledge that I have grieved Der Herr and the g’may. I now ask forgiveness and with the help of Der Herr, I will try to live a holy life.”
Miriam knew the six-week ban was symbolic of Peter denying the Lord thrice, hence missing out on member privileges, such as sharing meals and voting, for three Sundays—every other week when their meetings were held. They were still required to attend the regular services, however. After the six-week ban had been fulfilled, their membership privileges would be reinstated.
They both repeated the bishop’s words.
The bishop spoke again, “It is gut for you to once again be at peace with Der Herr and the g’may. We extend our heartfelt forgiveness.”
No one spoke to them after meeting, except for a brief conversation with Sammy. They would walk home and allow Sammy to take the buggy. Miriam decided the fresh air and time alone with her husband would be beneficial for both of them.
“You’re quiet.” Michael spoke once they were out of sight of the Borntrager’s property. His fingers grazed hers, then they locked pinky fingers.
She met his gaze. “I never want to have to do that again.”
He grunted. “Jah, me neither.”
“Well, we got through it.”
“I would think that wouldn’t be any more difficult than going off into the Englisch world alone and having a boppli by yourself.”
“Jah, you’re right. I think that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, next to giving our son over to strangers.”
“Miri…I’m sorry.”
“I know. Me too.”
“Sometimes I wish I could go back and have a do-over. But I think I’d have to give myself a stern talking-to first. If only we had the wisdom we have now back then.”
“I think the wisdom we have now is partly because of the mistakes we made back then, ain’t so?”
He half-chuckled. “It’s almost like God walks behind us with a broom and dust pan sweeping up the broken pieces of our lives. Then at a later time, He gives them back to us after He’s fused them all back together. Dawdi told me to give God my brokenness and He would fix it. He was right. Little by little, all the broken pieces are coming back together.”
“But it started with Der Herr, ain’t so?”
“Jah. It wasn’t until I surrendered to Him that He was able to repair what I’d broken. Like our relationship, Miri. What we have is something I only could have dreamed of.” Tears shimmered in his eyes. “Yet, by the grace of God, here we are.”
~
Miriam searched around for an extra table the next morning but couldn’t find one. Perhaps Sammy only owned one. Which presented a problem. How were she and Michael supposed to eat separate from Sammy if she couldn’t find an extra table?
“Michael, I can’t find an extra table for us to sit at.”
“We’ll let Dawdi eat first. Then after he finishes, we can take our meal separately.”
“Okay.” She set a place setting at the end of the table for Sammy.
The creaking of the screen door told Miriam that Sammy had come in from morning chores. He moved to the sink and washed his hands, as usual, then walked to the table. Instead of sitting, he stared down at his plate.
“What’s this?” He looked to Miriam.
“I can fill it for you if you just tell me what you’d like,” she offered.
“Nee. Why only one plate?”
“Michael and I are in the ban, remember? We are not allowed to share a meal with you.”
Sammy waved a hand in front of his face as though he were shooing away an insect. “I’m too old for this nonsense. I will not forfeit six weeks of the little time I have left with my kinskinner because some man tells me I can’t eat with or talk to you. Kumm, you will eat with me. We can keep appearances in public, but I intend to do as Der Herr leads me in my own home.”
Miriam cast a worried look in Michael’s direction.
“The king has spoken. And you wondered where my mischievous streak came from.” Michael laughed. “Bring the place settings. Besides, my stomach is growling.”
“I don’t want you to get in trouble, Sammy.” Miriam worried her lip.
“I’m more concerned about the time I have left with you. Now, kumm, let us eat.”
Miriam did as told, silently thanking Der Herr during the pre-meal prayer for this new wonderful family He had provided for her.
THIRTY-ONE
Michael and Miriam stared at each other in awe as the judge read his sentence. His official opinion stated that it was in young Michael’s best interest to be returned to his biological parents. They had been granted full custody and guardianship of their son.
Prior to the court proceedings, the lawyer had informed Michael that his case would pretty mu
ch be open and shut. Since they were the biological parents, they had a stable home, and they did, in fact, want their child, she was almost certain they’d receive a favorable ruling.
Tomorrow, a social worker would arrive at Dawdi’s farm with their son and all his belongings.
~
“Are you ready to meet our son?” Michael reached for Miriam’s hand as they swayed on the porch swing. He was glad he’d taken the entire day off work, even though young Michael wouldn’t be arriving till late morning.
“I am. I’m a little nervous, though. Do you think he’ll like us?”
“I don’t see why not. What’s not to like?” He grinned. “Anyone would be happy to have a mommy as hot as you.” His joke was completely lost on Miri.
“He’s been Englisch his whole life. Do you think he’ll like being Amish? Do you think he’ll get along with the other kinner when he starts school next year? He’s going to be different from them. He’ll talk different. He didn’t grow up speaking Amish.”
“Hey, now. Why all the worry? Der Herr will take care of him, ain’t so?”
“Jah, you’re right.”
He rubbed the top of her hand with his thumb. “Chances are, he’s going to know us instinctually. He has our genes. You carried him inside for nine months. He might even remember your voice.”
“Do you think so?” He noted the hopefulness in her tone.
“I do. There’s a strong bond that doesn’t disappear because of circumstances.” He reassured.
“What time is Sammy coming back home?”
“He wants me to call the phone shanty nearest your folks’ place. They’ll come meet their gross sohn at our word.”
“Sammy will be his great grandfather.”
“That’s right. But he can call him Grandpa or Dawdi. It doesn’t really matter.” He squeezed her hand. “It looks like he’s here.” They waited for the vehicle to come to a stop. “Kumm, let’s go meet him.”
A woman stepped out of the car. “I assume you are Michael and Miriam.”
“We are.” Michael said.
“You certainly can’t deny the resemblance. He looks so much like both of you.” She moved to the back door. “Are you ready to say hello?”
The Heartbreaker (Amish Country Brides) Page 13