Northern Exposure
The Divided
Chapter 11
Blood drenched and still on my knees, I looked up at Sky with an expression begging for help. Unconcerned, she simply turned and started packing her shopping cart not showing the slightest feelings of remorse for her bunk mate who was tipping on the edge of a nervous breakdown . Why was she so cold towards me? Did my mere presence offend her so profoundly, that she was unwilling to even show an ounce of pity? I still wonder if she really didn’t care for me or perhaps she was doing what she did because she cared, trying to make me tough enough for the new world. Undaunted by the brutal slaughtering of the little reaper, Sky led the way out of the store as if nothing had happened, pushing her shopping cart with furious intent.
Immediately as I exited the store doors I felt the contrasting heat of the little reapers warm blood against the cold air. The breeze which brought a chilling cold front across the city, made things so much worse for me, Now I had to get rid of my jacket and freeze in an attempt of cleansing myself of the incident. By the time I had exited Sky was already in the parking lot, she furiously waited for me while I stripped down in front of the deserted store. Sky expressed her anger on an abandoned Chevy Corvettes side mirror as she kicked it clean off the car. I presumed she was portraying her feelings through the constant anger, perhaps she did feel hurt by killing the little Reaper, and maybe that was her coping mechanism, maybe Sky had channelled all her anger in an attempt to deal with all the sorrow which surrounded her.
But I was not interested in her unnecessary hissy fit right now, she could moan and grumble as much as she wanted, I had more pressing matters which needed attending to; I was still in a frenzy while trying get all this sticky warm reaper gore off my body. From head to toe I had been painted a sadistic red colour; dark chunks of meat and thick plasma dripped from me, covering the paved parking space. I moaned in disgust as I picked away pieces of the girl’s brain matter which lay on my shoulders, and felt so violated, so dirty, from her blood which stuck to my hair. Only in a shirt and shorts I stood shivering in the cold as I kicked away my jacket which now lay covered in her blood. First thing I’d be doing once we got back to the bunker was taking a long, and I mean long shower! Regardless of how cold it would be anything to wash away the memories of the experience, anything to get that girl, no scratch that, “that thing” out of my head.
Who was I kidding, it wasn’t going to be that easy, I could refer to her as a reaper or thing as much as I wanted, and it would not change the fact that all I saw was a little girl. Maybe I was not aged enough in this new world, perhaps I needed more time in the field with these creatures. Perhaps time would make me a seasoned killer just like Sky and the rest; they clearly had no problem slaughtering Reapers in the most brutal of fashions.
But for now I was still me, I was still sensitive to the entire situation of what people had become, and one thing I knew is every time I would look into Zara or Shahkierah eyes I would see that little girls face, she would not just disappear from my memories, but I hoped in this new twisted world, something else would redirect my attention and help me forget about the entire incident.
After wallowing in self pity, I composed myself and started making my way towards Sky, but before I could reach her she stormed off and with her back turned she sarcastically shouted, “All done there princess?”
I completely ignored her; I was way too cold and emotionally unstable right now to deal with her petty little comments. All I did was walk behind her, In a Zombie like state, “no pun intended!” hoping to get home as soon as possible. The emotional toll was much more taxing with this little Reaper as opposed to her pin stripe suite wearing counterpart. With the first Reaper the feelings of shock and fright surmounted me, where as now I was filled with sorrow and disbelief. To think how many children died when the rocks fell, or worse the ones who now had become these mindless monsters, prowling the continent on a constant killing spree, just to satisfy their hunger. The graphic picture which fabricated inside my head sent me into a state, it did not take long before all that bottled up masculinity which I had been storing up, came pouring out. As I pushed the shopping cart I sobbed like a baby, thinking about all the children killed by the tragic events which had been bestowed upon us. I had not cried like this in a long time, it was as if an influx of emotions had just come upon me, and now involuntarily, I had an outlet to release all the anxiety, sorrow and pain I had been bottling up these last few months. Sky turned to see what was going on, but as soon as she saw me crying she simply shook her head and began walking faster, trying to make as much distance between her and my bothersome blubbering.
The trip back to the bunker was much quicker this time round; I was too deep in thought to look around at the city which had enthralled me, on our first journey to the SS Mart. Before I knew it we were passing the dilapidated bank. Not long after, Sky snapped me out my trace like state as she lifted the manhole cover. We had reached the Sewer and immediately my mood changed, I had been released from the gloomy prison my mind had trapped me in, and now was free and full of excitement to see my family. I was so glad I’d soon be back in the relatively comfortable surroundings of the bunker, all I wanted to do was shower, eat and sleep, but that would have to wait we weren’t home just yet. As Sky slipped down the long metal steps with ease, she hit the ground ordering me to start lowering her all the items one by one. I unloaded every can, box and gun until the shopping carts were completely empty. I then joined her at the bottom where we filled up our rucksacks as best we could, Filling our hands with as many guns as possible. The rest of the items we packed neatly in the corner. It would take everyone’s help carrying all this bounty back to the bunker.
Oh how the dark creepy passageways of the sewer felt like a refuge to me, compared to what lurked up top these passageways where like Disney world. The bunker was insight, I saw the faintest light shining from underneath the crack of the large steel door, and in an instant a feeling of appeasement subdued me, leaving me motionless as I stood smiling, so happy to be home. However my happiness would be short lived, as I knew what awaited me on the other side, I knew a dark cloud would hang over the joyous moment. Smith was going to kill us for disobeying him, I was terror-stricken as I thought about the consequences of my actions, and even though I worried about the ass whipping I was about to receive, I was more concerned that I had broken his trust.
Smith had saved my life and in my eyes I owed him everything, I would be completely shattered if he lost all trust in me. Perhaps I was an approval seeker, I recalled doing the same thing with my father, working as hard as I could, going the extra mile, not for self growth, but doing it all in the hopes he would have more faith in his son, and now I was repeating the pattern with Smith.
I could hear the giggles of Zara echo inside the bunker, and the worries of what Smith would do to me disappeared. I could not restrain myself as I smiled from ear to ear; I was home and eager to see how thrilled everyone would be with their gifts. Sky reached for the bunker door, but just as she was about to knock I grabbed her hand; the guns she held so meticulously went crashing to the floor. As she looked up at me, I was sure she was going to rip my throat out.
Shit! How could I have forgotten to give her, her gift? I was nervous, I would have to explain to her why I was giving her this piece of jewellery, and now that she had seen me cry, it would be a lot harder. So I manned up, bit the bullet and began.
“I know you may think I’m some kind of loser Sky, you think I’m a hindrance to the dynamics of the group.” ”But I hope in the future you will come to know how much I care about every single person in that room, you included.” ”You may think of me as weak and soft,
and that’s okay, I have not yet adjusted to the New world, and who knows maybe I will never be the strong renegade warriors you, Sharif and Smith are, but I promise you, I’ll try to do my part around the bunker and try help in as many ways as possible.”
Sky was about to speak when I stopped her dead in her tracks,” This is a little gift; call it a peace offering, a thank you, or a promise to show you I will strive harder in my attempts to become tougher, I want you to trust me as you do the others and I know In time I will gain your trust.”
I gently took her arm and slipped the bracelet around her wrist. She stared at it then looked at me without saying a word. Her eyes watered, but she held her tears back while concealing her emotions like she was so used to doing. She removed her hand from mine, and then slowly ran it slowly across my cheek; I could see the guilt expressed across her face, she knew what she did was wrong. Fair enough she had saved my life, but to leave me there covered in that little girl’s blood, not even lending a hand. That was not how family treated one another and that’s exactly what we were down here, family. She felt bad for
Northern Exposure: Episode Four Page 1