by Daniel Defoe
wasspent.
This being his temper, and the extent of his capacity, I confess I didnot see so much loss in his parting with me as at first I thought I did;though it was hard and cruel to the last degree in him, not giving methe least notice of his design; and indeed, that which I was mostastonished at was, that seeing he must certainly have intended thisexcursion some few moments at least before he put it in practice, yet hedid not come and take what little stock of money we had left, or atleast a share of it, to bear his expense for a little while; but he didnot; and I am morally certain he had not five guineas with him in theworld when he went away. All that I could come to the knowledge of abouthim was, that he left his hunting-horn, which he called the French horn,in the stable, and his hunting-saddle, went away in a handsomefurniture, as they call it, which he used sometimes to travel with,having an embroidered housing, a case of pistols, and other thingsbelonging to them; and one of his servants had another saddle withpistols, though plain, and the other a long gun; so that they did not goout as sportsmen, but rather as travellers; what part of the world theywent to I never heard for many years.
As I have said, I sent to his relations, but they sent me short andsurly answers; nor did any one of them offer to come to see me, or tosee the children, or so much as to inquire after them, well perceivingthat I was in a condition that was likely to be soon troublesome tothem. But it was no time now to dally with them or with the world; Ileft off sending to them, and went myself among them, laid mycircumstances open to them, told them my whole case, and the condition Iwas reduced to, begged they would advise me what course to take, laidmyself as low as they could desire, and entreated them to consider thatI was not in a condition to help myself, and that without someassistance we must all inevitably perish. I told them that if I had hadbut one child, or two children, I would have done my endeavour to haveworked for them with my needle, and should only have come to them to begthem to help me to some work, that I might get our bread by my labour;but to think of one single woman, not bred to work, and at a loss whereto get employment, to get the bread of five children, that was notpossible--some of my children being young too, and none of them bigenough to help one another.
It was all one; I received not one farthing of assistance from anybody,was hardly asked to sit down at the two sisters' houses, nor offered toeat or drink at two more near relations'. The fifth, an ancientgentlewoman, aunt-in-law to my husband, a widow, and the least able alsoof any of the rest, did, indeed, ask me to sit down, gave me a dinner,and refreshed me with a kinder treatment than any of the rest, but addedthe melancholy part, viz., that she would have helped me, but that,indeed, she was not able, which, however, I was satisfied was very true.
Here I relieved myself with the constant assistant of the afflicted, Imean tears; for, relating to her how I was received by the other of myhusband's relations, it made me burst into tears, and I cried vehementlyfor a great while together, till I made the good old gentlewoman cry tooseveral times.
However, I came home from them all without any relief, and went on athome till I was reduced to such inexpressible distress that is not to bedescribed. I had been several times after this at the old aunt's, for Iprevailed with her to promise me to go and talk with the otherrelations, at least, that, if possible, she could bring some of them totake off the children, or to contribute something towards theirmaintenance. And, to do her justice, she did use her endeavour withthem; but all was to no purpose, they would do nothing, at least thatway. I think, with much entreaty, she obtained, by a kind of collectionamong them all, about eleven or twelve shillings in money, which, thoughit was a present comfort, was yet not to be named as capable to deliverme from any part of the load that lay upon me.
There was a poor woman that had been a kind of a dependent upon ourfamily, and whom I had often, among the rest of the relations, been verykind to; my maid put it into my head one morning to send to this poorwoman, and to see whether she might not be able to help in this dreadfulcase.
I must remember it here, to the praise of this poor girl, my maid, thatthough I was not able to give her any wages, and had told her so--nay, Iwas not able to pay her the wages that I was in arrears to her--yet shewould not leave me; nay, and as long as she had any money, when I hadnone, she would help me out of her own, for which, though I acknowledgedher kindness and fidelity, yet it was but a bad coin that she was paidin at last, as will appear in its place.
Amy (for that was her name) put it into my thoughts to send for thispoor woman to come to me; for I was now in great distress, and Iresolved to do so. But just the very morning that I intended it, the oldaunt, with the poor woman in her company, came to see me; the good oldgentlewoman was, it seems, heartily concerned for me, and had beentalking again among those people, to see what she could do for me, butto very little purpose.
You shall judge a little of my present distress by the posture she foundme in. I had five little children, the eldest was under ten years old,and I had not one shilling in the house to buy them victuals, but hadsent Amy out with a silver spoon to sell it, and bring home somethingfrom the butcher's; and I was in a parlour, sitting on the ground, witha great heap of old rags, linen, and other things about me, looking themover, to see if I had anything among them that would sell or pawn for alittle money, and had been crying ready to burst myself, to think what Ishould do next.
At this juncture they knocked at the door. I thought it had been Amy,so I did not rise up; but one of the children opened the door, and theycame directly into the room where I was, and where they found me in thatposture, and crying vehemently, as above. I was surprised at theircoming, you may be sure, especially seeing the person I had but justbefore resolved to send for; but when they saw me, how I looked, for myeyes were swelled with crying, and what a condition I was in as to thehouse, and the heaps of things that were about me, and especially when Itold them what I was doing, and on what occasion, they sat down, likeJob's three comforters, and said not one word to me for a great while,but both of them cried as fast and as heartily as I did.
The truth was, there was no need of much discourse in the case, thething spoke itself; they saw me in rags and dirt, who was but a littlebefore riding in my coach; thin, and looking almost like one starved,who was before fat and beautiful. The house, that was before handsomelyfurnished with pictures and ornaments, cabinets, pier-glasses, andeverything suitable, was now stripped and naked, most of the goodshaving been seized by the landlord for rent, or sold to buy necessaries;in a word, all was misery and distress, the face of ruin was everywhereto be seen; we had eaten up almost everything, and little remained,unless, like one of the pitiful women of Jerusalem, I should eat up myvery children themselves.
After these two good creatures had sat, as I say, in silence some time,and had then looked about them, my maid Amy came in, and brought withher a small breast of mutton and two great bunches of turnips, which sheintended to stew for our dinner. As for me, my heart was so overwhelmedat seeing these two friends--for such they were, though poor--and attheir seeing me in such a condition, that I fell into another violentfit of crying, so that, in short, I could not speak to them again for agreat while longer.
During my being in such an agony, they went to my maid Amy at anotherpart of the same room and talked with her. Amy told them all mycircumstances, and set them forth in such moving terms, and so to thelife, that I could not upon any terms have done it like her myself, and,in a word, affected them both with it in such a manner, that the oldaunt came to me, and though hardly able to speak for tears, "Look ye,cousin," said she, in a few words, "things must not stand thus; somecourse must be taken, and that forthwith; pray, where were thesechildren born?" I told her the parish where we lived before, that fourof them were born there, and one in the house where I now was, where thelandlord, after having seized my goods for the rent past, not thenknowing my circumstances, had now given me leave to live for a wholeyear more without any rent, being moved with compassion; but that thisyear was now almost expired.
&nb
sp; Upon hearing this account, they came to this resolution, that thechildren should be all carried by them to the door of one of therelations mentioned above, and be set down there by the maid Amy, andthat I, the mother, should remove for some days, shut up the doors, andbe gone; that the people should be told, that if they did not think fitto take some care of the children, they might send for the churchwardensif they thought that better, for that they were born in that parish, andthere they must be provided for; as for the other child, which was bornin the parish of ----, that was already taken care of by the parishofficers there, for indeed they were so sensible of the distress of thefamily that they had at first word done what was their part to do.
This was what these good women proposed, and bade me leave the rest tothem. I was at first sadly afflicted at the thoughts of parting with mychildren, and especially at that terrible thing, their being taken intothe parish keeping; and then a hundred