by Daniel Defoe
could not have a right notion of me, because she would have it bethat Amy was her mother.
I scolded heartily at Amy for letting the girl ever know her, that is tosay, know her in this affair; for that she knew her could not be hid,because she, as I might say, served Amy, or rather under Amy, in myfamily, as is said before; but she (Amy) talked with her at first byanother person, and not by herself; and that secret came out by anaccident, as I have said above.
Amy was concerned at it as well as I, but could not help it; and thoughit gave us great uneasiness, yet, as there was no remedy, we were boundto make as little noise of it as we could, that it might go no farther.I bade Amy punish the girl for it, and she did so, for she parted withher in a huff, and told her she should see she was not her mother, forthat she could leave her just where she found her; and seeing she couldnot be content to be served by the kindness of a friend, but that shewould needs make a mother of her, she would, for the future, be neithermother or friend, and so bid her go to service again, and be a drudge asshe was before.
The poor girl cried most lamentably, but would not be beaten out of itstill; but that which dumbfoundered Amy more than all the rest was thatwhen she had berated the poor girl a long time, and could not beat herout of it, and had, as I have observed, threatened to leave her, the girlkept to what she said before, and put this turn to it again, that shewas sure, if Amy wa'n't, my Lady Roxana was her mother, and that shewould go find her out; adding, that she made no doubt but she could doit, for she knew where to inquire the name of her new husband.
Amy came home with this piece of news in her mouth to me. I could easilyperceive when she came in that she was mad in her mind, and in a rage atsomething or other, and was in great pain to get it out; for when shecame first in, my husband was in the room. However, Amy going up toundress her, I soon made an excuse to follow her, and coming into theroom, "What the d--l is the matter, Amy?" says I; "I am sure you havesome bad news." "News," says Amy aloud; "ay, so I have; I think the d--lis in that young wench. She'll ruin us all and herself too; there's noquieting her." So she went on and told me all the particulars; but surenothing was so astonished as I was when she told me that the girl knew Iwas married, that she knew my husband's name, and would endeavour tofind me out. I thought I should have sunk down at the very words. In themiddle of all my amazement, Amy starts up and runs about the room like adistracted body. "I must put an end to it, that I will; I can't bearit--I must murder her, I'll kill the b----;" and swears by her Maker, inthe most serious tone in the world, and then repeated it over three orfour times, walking to and again in the room. "I will, in short, I willkill her, if there was not another wench in the world."
"Prithee hold thy tongue, Amy," says I; "why, thou art mad." "Ay, so Iam," says she, "stark mad; but I'll be the death of her for all that,and then I shall be sober again." "But you sha'n't," says I, "yousha'n't hurt a hair of her head; why, you ought to be hanged for whatyou have done already, for having resolved on it is doing it; as to theguilt of the fact you are a murderer already, as much as if you had doneit already."
"I know that," says Amy, "and it can be no worse; I'll put you out ofyour pain, and her too; she shall never challenge you for her mother inthis world, whatever she may in the next." "Well, well," says I, "bequiet, and do not talk thus, I can't bear it." So she grew a littlesoberer after a while.
I must acknowledge, the notion of being discovered carried with it somany frightful ideas, and hurried my thoughts so much, that I was scarcemyself any more than Amy, so dreadful a thing is a load of guilt uponthe mind.
And yet when Amy began the second time to talk thus abominably ofkilling the poor child, of murdering her, and swore by her Maker thatshe would, so that I began to see that she was in earnest, I was fartherterrified a great deal, and it helped to bring me to myself again inother cases.
We laid our heads together then to see if it was possible to discover bywhat means she had learned to talk so, and how she (I mean my girl) cameto know that her mother had married a husband; but it would not do, thegirl would acknowledge nothing, and gave but a very imperfect account ofthings still, being disgusted to the last degree with Amy's leaving herso abruptly as she did.
Well, Amy went to the house where the boy was; but it was all one, therethey had only heard a confused story of the lady somebody, they knew notwho, which the same wench had told them, but they gave no heed to it atall. Amy told them how foolishly the girl had acted, and how she hadcarried on the whimsey so far, in spite of all they could say to her;that she had taken it so ill, she would see her no more, and so shemight e'en go to service again if she would, for she (Amy) would havenothing to do with her unless she humbled herself and changed her note,and that quickly too.
The good old gentleman, who had been the benefactor to them all, wasgreatly concerned at it, and the good woman his wife was grieved beyondall expressing, and begged her ladyship (meaning Amy), not to resent it;they promised, too, they would talk with her about it, and the oldgentlewoman added, with some astonishment, "Sure she cannot be such afool but she will be prevailed with to hold her tongue, when she has itfrom your own mouth that you are not her mother, and sees that itdisobliges your ladyship to have her insist upon it." And so Amy cameaway with some expectation that it would be stopped here.
But the girl was such a fool for all that, and persisted in itobstinately, notwithstanding all they could say to her; nay, her sisterbegged and entreated her not to play the fool, for that it would ruinher too, and that the lady (meaning Amy) would abandon them both.
Well, notwithstanding this, she insisted, I say, upon it, and which wasworse, the longer it lasted the more she began to drop Amy's ladyship,and would have it that the Lady Roxana was her mother, and that she hadmade some inquiries about it, and did not doubt but she should find herout.
When it was come to this, and we found there was nothing to be done withthe girl, but that she was so obstinately bent upon the search after me,that she ventured to forfeit all she had in view; I say, when I found itwas come to this, I began to be more serious in my preparations of mygoing beyond sea, and particularly, it gave me some reason to fear thatthere was something in it. But the following accident put me beside allmy measures, and struck me into the greatest confusion that ever I wasin my life.
I was so near going abroad that my spouse and I had taken measures forour going off; and because I would be sure not to go too public, but soas to take away all possibility of being seen, I had made some exceptionto my spouse against going in the ordinary public passage boats. Mypretence to him was the promiscuous crowds in those vessels, want ofconvenience, and the like. So he took the hint, and found me out anEnglish merchant-ship, which was bound for Rotterdam, and getting soonacquainted with the master, he hired his whole ship, that is to say, hisgreat cabin, for I do not mean his ship for freight, that so we had allthe conveniences possible for our passage; and all things being nearready, he brought home the captain one day to dinner with him, that Imight see him, and be acquainted a little with him. So we came afterdinner to talk of the ship and the conveniences on board, and thecaptain pressed me earnestly to come on board and see the ship,intimating that he would treat us as well as he could; and in discourseI happened to say I hoped he had no other passengers. He said no, he hadnot; but, he said, his wife had courted him a good while to let her goover to Holland with him, for he always used that trade, but he nevercould think of venturing all he had in one bottom; but if I went withhim he thought to take her and her kinswoman along with him this voyage,that they might both wait upon me; and so added, that if we would do himthe honour to dine on board the next day, he would bring his wife onboard, the better to make us welcome.
Who now could have believed the devil had any snare at the bottom of allthis? or that I was in any danger on such an occasion, so remote and outof the way as this was? But the event was the oddest that could bethought of. As it happened, Amy was not at home when we accepted thisinvitation, and so she was left out of the company; but instea
d of Amy,we took our honest, good-humoured, never-to-be-omitted friend theQuaker, one of the best creatures that ever lived, sure; and who,besides a thousand good qualities unmixed with one bad one, wasparticularly excellent for being the best company in the world; thoughI think I had carried Amy too, if she had not been engaged in thisunhappy girl's affair. For on a sudden the girl was lost, and no newswas to be heard of her; and Amy had haunted her to every place she couldthink of, that it was likely to find her in; but all the news she couldhear of her was, that she was gone to an old comrade's house of hers,which she called sister, and who was married to a master of a ship, wholived at Redriff; and even this the jade never told me. It seems, whenthis girl was directed by Amy to get her some breeding, go to