by Daniel Defoe
take care to deliver it to meherself.
I told Isabel that she should let me know when the milliner came again,for I had some complaints to her about getting up my best suit ofBrussels lace nightclothes. On the Saturday following, just after I haddined, Isabel came into my apartment. "My lady," says she, "the millineris in the parlour; will you be pleased to have her sent upstairs, orwill your ladyship be pleased to go down to her?" "Why, send her up,Isabel," said I, "she is as able to come to me as I am to go to her; Iwill see her here."
When the milliner came into my chamber, I sent Isabel to mydressing-room to fetch a small parcel of fine linen which lay there, andin the interim she gave me Amy's letter, which I put into my pocket,and, having pretended to be angry about my linen, I gave her the smallbundle Isabel brought, and bid her be sure to do them better for thefuture.
She promised me she would, and went about her business; and when she wasgone, I opened Amy's letter, and having read it, found it was to thefollowing purpose, viz., that she had opened a coffee-house, andfurnished the upper part of it to let out in lodgings; that she kept twomaids and a man, but that the trade of it did not answer as she hadreason to expect; she was willing to leave it off, and retire into thecountry to settle for the rest of her life, but was continually harassedby such disturbance in her conscience as made her unfit to resolve uponanything, and wished there was a possibility for her to see me, that shemight open her mind with the same freedom as formerly, and have myadvice upon some particular affairs; and such-like discourse.
It was a pretty while before I heard from Amy again, and when I did, theletter was in much the same strain as the former, excepting that thingswere coming more to a crisis; for she told me in it that her money wasso out, that is, lent as ready money to traders, and trusted for liquorsin her house, that if she did not go away this quarter, she should beobliged to run away the next. I very much lamented her unfortunate case,but that could be no assistance to her, as I had it not now in my powerto see her when I would, or give her what I pleased, as it had alwaysused to be; so all I could do was to wish her well, and leave her totake care of herself.
About this time it was that I perceived my lord began to look very paleand meagre, and I had a notion he was going into a consumption, but didnot dare tell him so, for fear he should say I was daily looking for hisdeath, and was now overjoyed that I saw a shadow of it; nevertheless, hesoon after began to find himself in a very bad state of health, for hesaid to me one morning, that my care would not last long, for hebelieved he was seized by a distemper it was impossible for him to getover. "My lord," said I, "you do not do me justice in imagining anythingconcerning me that does not tend to your own happiness, for if your bodyis out of order, my mind suffers for it." Indeed, had he died then,without making a will, it might have been well for me; but he was not sonear death as that; and, what was worse, the distemper, which proved aconsumption (which was occasioned chiefly by much study, watchings,melancholy thoughts, wilful and obstinate neglect of taking care of hisbody, and such like things), held him nine weeks and three days afterthis, before it carried him off.
He now took country lodgings, most delightfully situated both for airand prospect, and had a maid and man to attend him. I begged on my kneesto go with him, but could not get that favour granted; for, if I could,it might have been the means of restoring me to his favour, but ourbreach was too wide to be thoroughly reconciled, though I used all theendearing ways I had ever had occasion for to creep into his favour.
Before he went out of town he locked and sealed up every room in thehouse, excepting my bedchamber, dressing-room, one parlour, and all theoffices and rooms belonging to the servants; and, as he had now all mysubstance in his power, I was in a very poor state for a countess, andbegan to wish, with great sincerity, that I had never seen him, after Ihad lived so happy a life as I did at the Quaker's. For notwithstandingour estates joined together, when we were first married, amounted toL3376 per annum, and near L18,000 ready money, besides jewels, plate,goods, &c., of a considerable value, yet we had lived in a very highmanner since our taking the title of earl and countess upon us; settingup a great house, and had a number of servants; our equipage, such ascoach, chariot, horses, and their attendants; a handsome fortune my lordhad given to my daughter, and a very noble one to my son, whom he lovedvery well, not for his being my son, but for the courteous behaviour ofhim in never aspiring to anything above a valet after he knew who hewas, till my lord made him his secretary or clerk. Besides all theseexpenses, my lord, having flung himself into the trade to the Indies,both East and West, had sustained many great and uncommon losses,occasioned by his merchandise being mostly shipped in English bottoms;and that nation having declared war against the crown of Spain, he wasone of the first and greatest sufferers by that power; so that, on thewhole, our estate, which was as above, dwindled to about L1000 perannum, and our home stock, viz., about L17,000, was entirely gone. This,I believe, was another great mortification to his lordship, and one ofthe main things that did help to hasten his end; for he was observed,both by me and all his servants, to be more cast down at hearing of hislosses, that were almost daily sent to him, than he was at what hadhappened between him and me.
Nothing could give more uneasiness than the damage our estate sustainedby this traffic. He looked upon it as a mere misfortune that no personcould avoid; but I, besides that, thought it was a judgment upon me, topunish me in the loss of all my ill-got gain. But when I found that hisown fortune began to dwindle as well as mine, I was almost ready tothink it was possible his lordship might have been as wicked a liver asI had, and the same vengeance as had been poured upon me for my repeatedcrimes might also be a punishment for him.
As his lordship was in a bad state of health, and had removed to acountry lodging, his study and counting-house, as well as his otherrooms, were locked and sealed up; all business was laid aside, exceptingsuch letters as came to him were carried to his lordship to be opened,read, and answered. I also went to see him morning and evening, but hewould not suffer me to stay with him a single night. I might have hadanother room in the same house, but was not willing the people who keptit should know that there was a misunderstanding between us; so Icontented myself to be a constant visitor, but could not persuade him toforgive me the denying of my daughter, and acting the part of Roxana,because I had kept those two things an inviolable secret from him andeverybody else but Amy, and it was carelessness in her conduct at lastthat was the foundation of all my future misery.
As my lord's weakness increased, so his ill temper, rather thandiminish, increased also. I could do nothing to please him, and began tothink that he was only pettish because he found it was his turn to goout of the world first. A gentleman that lived near him, as well as hischaplain, persuaded him to have a physician, to know in what state hishealth was; and by all I could learn, the doctor told him to settle hisworldly affairs as soon as he conveniently could. "For," says he,"although your death is not certain, still your life is veryprecarious."
The first thing he did after this was to send for the son he had by mefrom the university. He came the week afterwards, and the tutor withhim, to take care of his pupil. The next day after my lord came home,and sending for six eminent men that lived at The Hague he made hiswill, and signed it in the presence of them all; and they, with thechaplain, were appointed the executors of it, and guardians of my son.
As I was in a great concern at his making his will unknown to me, andbefore we were friends, I thought of it in too serious a manner not tospeak about it. I did not know where to apply first, but after matureconsideration sent for the chaplain, and he coming to me, I desired hewould give me the best intelligence he could about it. "My lady," saidhe, "you cannot be so unacquainted with the duty of my function, and thetrust my lord has reposed in me, but you must know I shall go beyond mytrust in relating anything of that nature to you; all that I can say onthat head is, that I would have you make friends with my lord as soon asyou possibly can, and get him to make another will,
or else take thebest care of yourself as lies in your power; for, I assure you, if hislordship dies, you are but poorly provided for."
These last words of the chaplain's most terribly alarmed me. I knew notwhat to do; and, at last, as if I was to be guided by nothing but thefuries, I went to his chamber, and after inquiring how he did, andhearing that he was far from well, I told him I had heard he had madehis will. "Yes," said he, "I have; and what then?" "Why, my lord,"replied I, "I thought it would not have been derogatory to both ourhonours for you to have mentioned it to me before you did it, and havelet me known in what manner you intended to settle your estate. Thiswould have been but acting like a man to his wife, even if you hadmarried me without a fortune; but as you received so handsomely with me,you ought to have considered it as my substance, as well as your own,that you