by Rayman Black
I needed to call my sister.
I actually had two sisters, Terri and Samantha. We were all two years apart, Samantha on the older side of me, and Terri on the younger. I wished I could call Samantha, but we hadn’t spoken since her wedding day, three years ago. My heart ached as I thought of her. She would understand, I thought. She would know just what to say. I wasn’t so sure about Terri. She had a kind heart, and she always meant well, but she was also quick to form opinions and not at all shy about sharing them. Sometimes it could be exhausting.
Nonetheless, one way or another this was going to come out, and I thought it would be best to start with my sister rather than going straight to my parents. With any luck, she might tell them for me, I thought, and they could get the worst of their anger and disappointment out of their systems before I got back to Boston. Before I could change my mind, I clicked Send on her number, and closed my eyes as the phone began to ring.
“Hello?” she answered after the third ring, sounding slightly out of breath. “Katie? Are you there, or did I hang up on you again?”
I laughed, comforted by my sister’s voice even as threads of anxiety knotted around me. “No, Terri, I’m here. What are you doing? You sound breathless.”
“I was just putting away some groceries, and I couldn’t find my damn phone in my bag,” she said. “I feel like I wrestled an alligator. I think I might have too much stuff in there. Maybe it’s time to clean it out.”
“It was time to clean it out when you graduated high school,” I told her dryly. “I can only imagine what’s living in there now.”
“Yeah, well, on the upside I’ll have a handy weapon if I ever get mugged,” she said brightly. “So what are you doing this weekend? You going to Mom and Dad’s for dinner tomorrow night?”
“No,” I said slowly, dragging out the vowel. Here it was. The point of no return. I closed my eyes. “I’m actually in Las Vegas this weekend.”
There was a moment of stunned silence, then my little sister’s shriek pierced through the phone so loudly that I nearly dropped it.
“Jesus, Terri!” I cried, wincing. “Rein it in a bit, yeah? You’re really loud.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said, envy clear in her voice. “What the hell are you doing out there? You didn’t tell me you were leaving Boston!”
“It was a spur of the moment thing,” I said. I explained about Sabrina’s bachelorette weekend, and all we had planned to do here. “But then we found out that the group of guys having their bachelor’s weekend somehow ended up not only in the same city, but in the same hotel and the same bar, too.”
“That’s so crazy,” Terri said, caught up in my story. “How’s that for luck, huh? Please tell me you went gambling.”
“Not exactly,” I said. “But something unexpected did happen. Time will tell if it was lucky or not.”
“Well don’t leave me hanging,” she exclaimed. I could hear the sound of cupboard doors opening and closing on her end and I smiled, picturing her tucking away the boxes and cans she purchased. This would be the last calm moment between us, and I savored it before answering her.
“I got married.”
The line grew so quiet for so long that I finally checked to make sure we hadn’t lost connection. The seconds ticked by on the display, showing the call was still active, so I put the phone back to my ear.
“Terri?” I asked. “Are you there?”
“Please tell me this is a sick joke,” Terri said, all signs of her former humor gone from her voice. “It must be sick, because who would joke about something like that? Even if you are in Vegas.”
I lowered my head to my hand. “I’m not joking, sick or otherwise,” I said, struggling to keep my voice calm. I was suddenly so tired. “I really did get married, last night. His name is Chris and he’s a fireman from home.” I told her about the night before, from meeting Chris at the bar to what I remembered of the chapel. I left out the part in the bathroom, but that was none of her business, was it?
“We’re going to spend some time together, see what happens between us,” I finished. “It may be a backward way of doing things, but maybe it will work well. He’s a really decent guy. You’d like him.”
Terri snorted. “Yeah, well, I might, but Daddy won’t. You know that. And Mom will ask him a million questions about his private life and completely embarrass him.” She huffed out a breath. “Jesus, Katie, you got married last night. In Las Vegas. To a fucking stranger! What’s going on with you?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. He’s different, you know? He’s special. I like how I feel when I’m with him. I’m not saying we’re going to stay married or anything, but we like each other and we can’t undo what's already been done, can we? So we’re going to try to make the best of it and see what happens. I mean, what else should I do?”
Terri was quiet for another long moment. “I guess you’re right,” she said, her voice subdued. “You can’t change that you married him. I want you to be happy, Katie, so if you say this guy is worth a shot, then I’ll give him a shot. But I’m not telling Mom and Daddy,” she said.
I laughed, a little grimly. “Yeah, I didn’t think you would. Hoped, maybe, but didn’t really think so. Don’t worry, I’ll tell them myself.” Eventually.
She seemed to hear my unspoken thought. “You need to tell them soon,” she warned. “This kind of thing won’t stay quiet long. It’s bound to get back to them somehow, especially once you get back. You should tell them as soon as you can.”
“Yeah, well, I’ll see what I can do,” I hedged. “I gotta go, though, Terri. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”
“Okay,” she said, and I could tell she knew I was just wanting to get off the phone. “I can’t wait to meet this guy. Be safe, okay? And call me when you get home.”
I agreed, and said reassuring things until finally she was satisfied and hung up the phone. I sighed deeply, tossing my phone aside and flopping backwards on the bed. Talking to Terri had been easier than I thought it would be. I didn’t want to think about her words, though, or that she was right about our parents. There was no way I would be able to keep this from them, so I was better off telling them myself rather than letting them find out another way. But I dreaded that conversation. So I decided not to think about it, to push it away as long as I could.
I don’t know how long I lay on the bed, watching the ceiling, before the knock came at the door. I was lost in thought and startled at the solid thump of knuckles against wood. I sat up, my heart pounding, and went to the door.
“Who is it?” I asked through the door.
“It’s me,” came Chris’ voice. Relief and heat zipped through me on each other’s heels. I pulled open the door, a silly grin on my face. He stood in the hallway, a large pizza box in his hands. A paper wrapped bundle sat on top. He smiled sheepishly at me. “I ordered the special, but it’s too much food for one person. I thought maybe you’d like to have lunch with me?”
I eyed him suspiciously. “You just happened to order enough food for three people?” I asked. He met my gaze and grinned, unrepentant. I smiled and stepped back, foolishly pleased. “Come on in, then. Before the pizza gets cold.”
12
Chris
I passed by Katie and entered the room, setting the box on the desk. She disappeared into the bathroom, so I busied myself pulling out the paper plates and plastic silverware the pizza place had packed along with the salad. I started dishing out the food like I would at the station, piling portions on the plates. Katie returned with two hotel glasses and a bottle of iced tea.
I watched covertly as she poured. She looked better than she had that morning, somehow lighter and with more color in her face. Did that mean she was feeling better? Did that mean maybe she was happy with our arrangement? I hoped fervently that it was both.
“Here,” she said, offering me the drink. Our hands brushed as I took it, and I could’ve sworn I felt a crackle of electricity pass between us. She glanced
at my face, a small smile on her lips. Jesus, she was beautiful.
“Has everyone already debunked from your camp, too?” I asked conversationally, handing her a plate.
She laughed and nodded. “You missed them by maybe twenty minutes,” she said. I thought a flash of sadness crossed her face, but it was gone so fast I couldn’t be sure. “We had a good morning together before they left. How is it that you’re able to stay behind? I thought it was all hands on deck back home.”
I took a deep breath and answered her honestly. “They decided they could manage without me, that staying with you and seeing what happens here was more important than anything I could do at work.” My lips quirked, remembering some of the more choice comments my friends had laid on me to back up this opinion. “Assholes,” I added, and she laughed again.
“Well, I’m glad they decided to leave you behind,” she said quietly, then dug into her pizza. Silence fell, broken only by the sound of chewing. There wasn’t anything uncomfortable about it, and I felt muscles relax in my back that felt like they had been clenched for days. I watched her eat, trying to be discreet so I didn’t make her uncomfortable. She had this way of taking tiny bites that made it hard to believe how much food she could put away in so short a time. I knew better than to comment on someone else’s eating habits, hers or anyone’s, but something about it made me like her even more. You’re pretty hooked when even her eating is cute to you, I thought with amusement.
She sat back at last with a contented sigh and looked up at me. “Thank you,” she said. “That’s almost as good as the place around the corner from my building.”
“My pleasure,” I said, wiping my hands on a paper napkin and tossing it on the plate. “Thanks for joining me. If you hadn’t I would have felt compelled to eat it all by myself and been too sick to take you out later. I would’ve hated to miss it.”
“It would be a shame,” she agreed, deadpan. She glanced down at the remains of the meal. “It was really too much food for even two people, but we seem to have done a pretty good job of it.” She looked back at me, amusement and challenge in her eyes. “Are you too sick to take me out later? I would hate to miss it, too.”
I swallowed, shifting on the seat to try to hide the way my dick twitched at the look in her eyes, the tone of her voice. I wanted to kiss her so badly I could practically taste her on my lips, even if I had promised myself to take it slow. Seeing her this morning had shook me a little. She had looked so sad and vulnerable, like a wrong touch could shatter her. There was little evidence of that woman now, except maybe in the shadows that clung around her eyes. The woman with me now was the vixen from the bar, the one who willingly went to a public bathroom to hook up with me, and my body remembered her clearly.
I cleared my throat. “There’s nothing I’d rather do than take you out this evening,” I said finally. “The show starts at eight. Do you want to have dinner before or after?”
She laid a hand on her belly and grinned ruefully. “I may not be too sick to go, but I’m definitely too full to think of the next meal,” she said. She looked at her watch. “It’s nearly three now. Why don’t we worry about it later?”
That same comfortable silence fell between us again, and I thought, When was the last time I felt so much peace with another person? I wondered what it meant that I couldn’t remember. I looked over at her and caught the look of fatigue before she hid it.
I stood, gathering up the garbage and packing it all into the bag and the box. “I’m getting out of your hair,” I said, giving her a smile. “I imagine you’re beat after a night like last night, and a day like today. I know I am. I’m going to take a shower, and maybe a nap. I’ll take these with me.” As I talked, I moved to the door, knowing somehow without thinking about it that if I gave her a chance to object, she probably would, even though it was clear she was dead on her feet. She followed me to the door and I paused, looking down at her face. “I can’t wait to see you later,” I said quietly, and leaned down to kiss her softly.
I felt like I’d swung a hammer at a transformer. The shock of her, the heat of her, spiraled from my belly out to my fingertips. I pulled her close, the sweet and tender kiss I intended taking on a life of its own and reminding me with startling clarity how very much I wanted her. She made a small sound of pleasure in her throat and the sound of it strained my control to the breaking point. With a huge effort, I pulled myself away.
I slipped out the door before she could say a word, the look of half-woken desire on her face emblazoned on my mind as I set the trash by the door and walked to the elevator. I forced myself to keep moving, even though all I really wanted to do was go knock on her door and sweep her into my arms and onto the bed the instant she opened it. I spent a couple of minutes thinking about what I wanted to do with her after that before snapping out of it. Thankfully, I realized I was at my floor before the doors totally closed, and lunged for the door open button just in time.
Safely back in my room, I felt restless and started to pace. My mind returned, as it had so often in the past hours, to Katie, to our marriage, to the thought of a future with her. This time, thoughts of the past crashed in, too. Despite what my friends told me earlier, I wondered how my present state of cautious happiness, of anticipation for whatever comes next with Katie, could coexist inside me with the already heavy responsibility of the past that I always carried. Things were unresolved, in so many ways, and I couldn’t imagine truly diving into whatever this was that was building between us while the past kept nipping at my heels. But no matter how hard I tried, I still couldn’t think of a solution. My thoughts ran their usual, tired path, coming up with no new solutions, no new ideas.
Then I thought of what Joshua said this morning. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. You can do whatever mystery penance you have in mind, but you can also get to know Katie. Could it be that simple? After all that had happened, all the time that had passed, could it really be so easy to take something for myself? To enjoy it?
My brain made me tired, running in circles like it was. Just then, my cell buzzed in my pocket. I dug it out, hoping it was Katie, knowing it wasn’t even as I checked the screen. Why would she be calling me? I just saw her a few minutes ago. I looked down and saw Jeff flash on the screen. I groaned, tossing the phone on the dresser and flopping down on the bed. No way was I in any frame of mind for a brotherly chat right about now.
My eyes started to close on their own as I lay on the bed. A nap would be good, I thought blearily, giving up the fight and letting them drift shut. Just for a little bit. Katie’s face was the last thing I saw in my mind before oblivion took me.
It was dusk when I woke. Panic welled up in me as I searched frantically for the glowing clock numbers in the rapidly dimming light. 6:09 p.m. I breathed a sigh of relief and pushed off the bed, heading first to the window. I looked out over the darkening sky, the city lights glowing so brightly I couldn’t see a single star.
I turned from the window and headed for the shower, picking up my phone as I passed the dresser. The missed call notification rankled me, even as I knew it was ridiculous. Jeff had every right to call me, just as I had every right to ignore him. Whatever the golden boy had to say, it could wait until I got back to Boston.
The shower felt amazing. I stood under the water, my back beneath the hot spray as I braced my hands against the wall and breathed deeply. I thought about Katie. There was no way not to. The woman had been on my mind regularly ever since I saw her at Thomas and Lori’s engagement party all those months ago, and continuously since our time together yesterday. I struggled to keep my thoughts on the time we spent together fully clothed, though. I didn’t know where her head was at with all of this, and I didn’t want to presume anything. Last night was – well, there were no words for how incredible last night was, or how incredible she was, for that matter. But I didn’t expect that she would fall willingly into my bed again. Things were different now, whether we wanted them to be or not. The fact of our mar
riage was always between us, and it changed things.
By the time I finally emerged, I had twenty minutes to brush my teeth and get dressed before I headed down to Katie’s room to pick her up. Fortunately, the venue for the show was at the Flamingo, only a short walk away.
“Seems like most of the strip is a short walk away from anything else on the strip,” I mused aloud as I rode the elevator down. “I wonder if they did that on purpose for the benefit of all the drunk people that stagger around here. Not such a great set-up for taxis or Uber drivers, though.”
I was rambling. It was something I did when I was nervous, and once I became aware of it, I made a conscious effort to stop. The last thing I wanted to do was open my mouth and have verbal vomit spill out at Katie’s feet. I stepped off the elevator and stopped, taking a deep breath and letting out slowly before I strolled casually to her door. I prayed she wouldn’t hear my heart thumping in my chest.
I knocked a rhythm on the door. Katie must have been waiting for me, because it was less than a minute before the door swung open, revealing a fairy queen, a goddess, certainly the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.
She had darkened her eyes and reddened her lips, and her long, dark hair was loose and spilling over her shoulders in glossy curls. A deep red dress, the same color as her mouth, sheathed her body. It covered her curves demurely, with a high neckline and long sleeves and a hem that skimmed her knees. But as she moved, slipping her purse over her shoulder and turning to make sure the door closed securely behind her, the dress hinted at the lush body it concealed. The combined effect made me dizzy and I had to shake my head and blink several times to regain any kind of composure.