“I never said I didn’t like him. I said I didn’t know the words to his songs.”
I stare. “You learned the words? For … me?”
“Come on,” he says. “Let’s check things out.”
We stroll the perimeter, admiring the picturesque skyline. I even look through one of the binocular thingies.
I catch Brett staring at me. “What is it?”
“You’re having a good time, aren’t you?”
I look around, enjoying the open-air deck. “I guess so.”
“And when we went to the other tall buildings, you had fun as well, once we got to the top.”
“I suppose.”
“Emma, you don’t have a problem with tall buildings. You have a problem with elevators.”
“That’s crazy,” I say.
“Do you ever take elevators?”
“Of course I do.” But then I think back over the past six weeks and I realize I haven’t gotten into any elevators in a while. Not even when I go to Lisa’s apartment on the sixth floor. I told myself I needed to get in my steps, but maybe he’s onto something. “Or I did until recently. I’m not sure why I stopped.”
“After the incident at the school, I was a bit claustrophobic,” he says. “I’m guessing you’re experiencing some sort of PTSD from being held in the storage closet at gunpoint.”
“Do you really think so?”
“I’m almost positive. Just look what you’ve been doing the past twenty minutes. If you were afraid of tall buildings, you’d be having a panic attack up here, but you’re totally fine. Just like the other times.”
I look at my hands. Steady as a rock. “Oh, my God, you’re right. So the buildings? You don’t think that was a real fear? But all this time I thought …” I shake my head in amazement.
“It was as real as you thought it was. You never tried to go up in a tall building in all these years. If you had, maybe you would have figured it out long before now.”
“Back then I wasn’t afraid of small spaces, so I would have been fine in elevators.” I look around again, amazed I’m actually here, and I’m okay with it. “I can’t believe it.” I move to the edge. “I can even look over the side. This is incredible.”
I try to take in everything: the buildings below us, the maze of streets, the sky. I see airplane trails crisscrossing the horizon and turn to Brett in excitement. “I think I’m ready.”
He looks at me, confused. “Ready for what exactly?”
Damn. I did it again. “I’m ready to fly. If I’m not scared of tall buildings, maybe I’m not scared of airplanes either. I want to do it. I want to go in an airplane.” I’m struck by a specific idea. “I want to take Evelyn to Germany.”
“Whoa,” Brett says. “One thing at a time. Germany is a long plane ride. There’s no getting off once you get on.”
“So go with me,” I blurt.
He laughs. “Now you’re just talking crazy.”
Do I want to take it back? It takes me two seconds to realize I don’t. “I’m serious. Look what I’ve accomplished with your encouragement. You know all about the breathing and the song. You’re a paramedic, for Pete’s sake. You can help if I freak out or go into shock or something. Come on, it’ll be an adventure.”
“What about your daughter?” he says, raising a brow at me as if to challenge my request.
Oh, right. There’s that. “You’re my friend. Evelyn has male friends. There’s nothing wrong with friends taking a trip together.”
I could swear he gives it some serious thought, but then he looks sad. “Friends. That’s what we are.” He stares off into the distance. “I’m not sure Germany is a good idea.”
“Please, Brett. This is something I need to do for Evelyn and for me.”
“Emma, you realize how fucking twisted this is, right? You kick me out of your bed repeatedly. You brush me off. You ignore me for a week. And then you ask me to go on vacation with you?”
“It’s not a vacation. Far from it. Plus, I’ve never been overseas, and it would be nice to have somebody to protect us—you know, two single ladies all alone.”
“Jesus.” He rubs his jaw in contemplation.
I bite my lip in anticipation, like a kid waiting for a Christmas present.
He laughs at my impatience. “I’m not promising anything, but I’m sure as hell not going on an eight-hour flight with you until we figure out if you’re okay flying.”
“What did you have in mind?” I ask. “A test flight to a nearby airport?”
“Too many other people. You saw what can happen in the elevator. People can be dicks.” The wheels in his head spin. “I have to make a call. A buddy at FDNY moonlights as a pilot for a small airport outside the city. The planes he flies are small charters, the kind that only have ten or twenty seats. People rent them for parties.”
“People rent planes for parties?”
“It’s kind of like renting a limo, only a lot more luxurious.”
I shake my head. “That sounds expensive. I’m going to need every bit of my savings for our trip to Germany.”
“Like I said, let me make a call. He owes me a favor or two.”
“As in you think he’ll take us up in a private plane for free? Must be one hell of a favor he owes you.”
“It is. But Emma, these are small planes. If you can’t be in an elevator …”
“Just how small are we talking?”
“I don’t know. Maybe as long as your townhouse from front to back, but narrow.”
“So, bigger than an elevator?”
He laughs. “Yes, bigger than an elevator.”
“Sold,” I say. “Make the call.”
“When I get home,” he says. “Ready to go?”
I nod.
“Oh, shit,” he says, looking toward the elevator. “What goes up must go down. How do you feel about walking down eighty-six flights of stairs?”
“Uh, no.”
“Well, there’s always kissing or whispering naughty things in your ear. That worked before.”
My insides quiver at the thought of him whispering naughty things. But we both know where that will lead us—right to bed. And that’s not what I want. Well, I do, but I don’t. But I can’t. So I won’t.
“How about you sing to me instead?” I say, half joking.
“That was a one-time performance.” He pulls earbuds out of his pocket as we step on the elevator. He studies them in his hand and then he laughs. “This would have made the ride up much less humiliating.” He hands one earbud to me and puts the other in his ear.
He plays my happy-place song all the way down. He doesn’t sing out loud this time, but he does mouth the words. The whole ride I watch him “serenade” me. And damn if he’s not just serenading me with his silent words. He’s serenading me with his eyes. With his body.
During our cab ride home, I make a mental list of all the reasons he’s perfect for me.
Then we pass by my Dad’s old firehouse and I remember the one reason he isn’t.
“Enjoy your day with Leo,” I say when we exit the cab and go our separate ways.
At my door I turn and watch him go into his townhouse. Because you never know what can happen.
Chapter Twenty-five
Brett
“Hand me that ratchet and socket,” I say from under the Mustang. Jay puts them in my hands, and I finish attaching the oil pan. “I’m ready. Pull me out.”
He yanks me out from under the car. It’s kind of become our thing, pulling each other out from under it.
Bonnie appears, carrying the pizza that just got delivered. “Mind if I steal a slice for Leo? He’s worked up a good appetite, running around the car while you boys tinker with it.”
“Peeza, Daddy! Peeza!” he screams, wielding his toy screwdriver as if it was a sword.
I take a slice from the box and put his pepperoni on my slice. “Here you go.” I set him up at the picnic table.
Bonnie chastises me. “You could at least wash your hands,�
� she says, tearing Leo’s slice into bite-sized pieces.
I look at the grease and grime coating my hands and laugh. “True mechanics don’t wash their hands. Right, Jay?”
Jay shrugs and picks up a slice.
We sit next to Leo, the three of us eating grimy pizza. Bonnie rolls her eyes and goes back inside.
I say to Jay, “She’s going in to make a salad or some other girl food.”
He laughs. He’s been doing more of that lately. At first it was hard to get him to laugh. But in the past few weeks, he’s taken on the carefree attitude his mom said had died along with his father.
I gaze fondly at the car. “It’s really coming along, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” he says. “Have you decided what color to paint it yet?”
“I was thinking I’d let you choose.” He has no idea I’m going to give him the car. I cleared it with his mother last week. They have a shed out back where he can park it when he turns sixteen.
“Me?”
“What do you think? Blue? Green? Silver?”
He looks at the Mustang. “I’ll have to give it some thought. It’s a big decision.”
“It is, but we have time.”
Bonnie comes out to collect Leo when he’s done eating. “I think this one’s ready for his afternoon nap.”
“Sleep tight, little man,” I say, ruffling his hair. “Later today we’re going to a baseball game with Joey and Uncle Denver.”
“Yay!” Leo claps his hands as Bonnie whisks him inside.
“You want to come, too?” I ask Jay
“Me? Why would you want me to come?”
“Because we’re friends? And friends do things together.”
“How come you’re always so nice to me?”
“I like to think I’m nice to everyone,” I say.
He picks at his pizza. “Not many white guys are nice to me,” he says. “All they see when they look at me is a poor black kid.”
Hearing him say that makes me fume. “I guess you’ve been hanging around the wrong white guys then. Come on, what do you say? It’ll be fun. We usually only stay for half of the game. It’s all Leo and Joey have the patience for. You’ll be home by eight.”
“Okay.”
“Great,” I say giving my hands a clap. “Then we’d better finish before Leo wakes up. I’d say we have about ninety minutes.”
My phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out and see who’s calling. It’s Amanda. I point at the car. “Get that belt on. I have to take this.” I move a few yards away. “What’s up?”
Amanda’s been calling more lately. She even came for another visit a few weeks ago. I suspect seeing me with Emma made her realize what she’s been missing. It doesn’t matter, though. I see through all her bullshit.
“Hey, babe,” she says cheerfully.
I shake my head. For two years, she didn’t use that endearment for me. And now that we’re divorced, she thinks it’s okay to start using it again? “What do you want, Amanda? I’m a little busy right now.”
“I just wanted you to know that I’ve scheduled my summer vacation. I’ll be spending it in New York.”
“I’ll alert the press,” I say dryly.
“Come on, Brett. It’ll be fun. I’ll be there for an entire week. Leo and I can spend so much time together. And maybe you and I—”
I cut her off right there. “When are you arriving?”
“Two weeks from Saturday.”
“I’m sure Leo will be happy to see you.”
“What about you, Brett? Will you be happy to see me?”
I ignore her question. “I assume you’ll be staying at your sister’s house?”
“Actually, no. Jamie is having some renovations done. I thought I’d stay at the house with Leo and you.”
“You want to stay here?”
“Sure. It’ll be a blast. You’re always saying I should spend more time with our son.”
“There are plenty of hotels close by that would be more comfortable. There’s no place for you to sleep here.”
She blows a sigh into the phone. What the hell does she think? That I’ll let her back into my bed when it’s convenient for her?
“I can sleep on the day bed in Leo’s room,” she says.
“It’s not a good idea.”
“Why not? Is it because of that woman across the street? You think she’ll get jealous? She’d better get used to me being in Leo’s life. In your life. We’ll always be connected, you and me.”
I wasn’t even thinking about Emma and how she’d view it. I was thinking that I didn’t want to have to see Amanda morning, noon, and night. “It would be better if you stayed somewhere else. I don’t want to give Leo the wrong idea.”
“He’s two, Brett. What ideas could I possibly put in his head? I’m his mother. Don’t I deserve to rock him to sleep sometimes? And comfort him when he has a nightmare? And make his favorite breakfast?”
“What is his favorite breakfast?” I ask.
She huffs. “That’s not fair.”
“It is fair, Amanda. You don’t know Leo, and now, suddenly, you want to play Mother of the Year? I’m not buying it.”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think, Brett. I want to be a better mother to him. I need this. Leo needs this. Do you really want to keep me from him? Make me stay in a hotel? I never thought you were that kind of person.”
I pace around the car, watching Jay expertly assemble the alternator.
I don’t want her staying in my house. But maybe she’s right. Leo has the right to get to know his mother. Her staying with him for a week would do that. “Fine, but you’re sleeping in Leo’s room. I mean it, Amanda. We’re divorced. You can’t kiss me and shit.”
“I’ll see you in seventeen days.” She disconnects.
I slip my phone into my pocket and growl.
“Trouble in paradise?” Jay asks, looking up from the car.
“I’d hardly call my life paradise.”
My phone vibrates again. “What?” I snap without checking who’s calling.
“Is that any way to treat the guy who’s about to do you an epic favor?”
“Christian?” I ask. “Were you able to arrange something?”
“That depends. You on a shift tomorrow night?”
“No.”
“Then I’m about to make your day. We had a cancellation. Won’t cost you a dime because they didn’t make the window.”
“Seriously? That’s fantastic. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this.”
“Yeah, well, I do owe you one, my friend.”
“We can call it even now.”
“We’ll never be even, man. Not after what you did for me.”
“I was just doing my job,” I say.
He snorts into the phone. “It’s more than that and you know it.”
“So, can you text me the details?”
“As soon as we hang up. See you tomorrow night.”
“Thanks.”
I sit on the picnic table, waiting for his text. Then I text Emma.
Me: Clear your schedule tomorrow night.
Emma: I’m not going on a date with you.
Me: How about a date with a Cessna?
Emma: Does that mean what I think it does?
Me: Meet me out front at 5:30. Our flight is at 7:00.
Emma: I think my heart just fell into the pit of my stomach.
Me: Having second thoughts?
Emma: Of course I’m having second thoughts. And third. And fourth. But it’s something I have to do. Thank you so much. I can’t believe you made it happen.
Me: I have many skills.
Emma: Are we still talking about flying?
Me: I don’t know, are we?
Emma: See you tomorrow.
I put my phone away and return to the car.
Jay looks at me. “Dude, did you just win the lottery or something?”
I might be smiling too much. But the thought of going on a sunset flight do
wn the coast with Emma makes me feel like, yeah … I might have won the lottery.
Chapter Twenty-six
Emma
“Nervous?” Brett asks, as we’re escorted onto the tarmac.
“As nervous as anyone else would be who’s never been in an airplane.”
“You’ve been on a roller coaster before, haven’t you?” he asks.
“Sure. Evelyn loves them.”
“Takeoff and landing are kind of like riding on a roller coaster. Everything in between is amazing, especially if you have a window seat.”
“Window seat. Got it.”
I look at the long, sleek plane, in awe that Brett was able to make this happen. “Are we really the only people going on the plane?”
“Us and the two pilots.”
“And you really didn’t have to pay anything for this?”
He laughs. “If you think I can afford thirty thousand dollars on my salary, you’re crazy.”
My jaw drops. “That’s what it costs to do this? Oh my God. And this is a thing? People pay that?”
“They pay a lot more than that. That’s just for a two-hour flight. It goes up from there.”
I’m stunned. Do people really have nothing better to do with their money?
A man who looks like a pilot approaches us.
“I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this,” Brett says, giving him a hug.
“It’s my pleasure.”
“Christian Merric, meet Emma Lockhart.”
Christian shakes my hand. “Nice to meet you. I hear we’re going to pop your cherry.”
“My, uh …” I feel my face turn beet red. What does he think is going to happen on this plane?
“You know, your first flight,” Christian says. “I’m glad I get to be the one to take you up.”
“Oh, right.” I feel stupid for thinking anything else.
“Don’t worry,” he says. “The conditions look perfect. We’ll take good care of you. My copilot is already onboard.” He gestures to the stairway leading up to the plane. “Come on, I’ll show you around.”
Engulfing Emma (The Men on Fire Series) Page 17