“No, thanks,” I say. “I just wanted to know … Did you ever really love me?”
“What kind of question is that? Of course, honey!” Mom replies.
I hold up my hand. “No, Mom. I mean for real. You sold me to a man like I was something to own. How could you?” Tears well up in my eyes, but she doesn’t reply. All I’m faced with are silent stares, and it says enough. “Don’t you have anything to say?” With my voice faltering, I beg for a response … anything … to make what I’ve been through less of a persecution. But they give me nothing. Just as they have all those years.
“Right …” I cringe. “Why would I ever expect anything from you?”
As I turn around, Mom grabs my hand. “Wait. Please stay. We only wanted you to have a good life.”
“A good life?” The words sound hollow … and filthy.
“We thought he’d be good for you,” Dad says.
“Because he gave you money. That made him trustworthy?” I snap.
“Because he told us so,” Dad says.
“I still believe he could be the right man for you. Maybe you two just need some help.”
“What?” My jaw drops. “Mom. He physically hurt me. Degraded me. Yelled at me.”
The look in her eyes still tells me she doesn’t believe what I say.
“I had to run for my life to get away from him,” I say. “Why don’t you believe me instead of him?”
“I don’t know …” She shakes her head. “I can’t …”
A tear rolls down my cheeks. “And still you want me to return to him.”
“If only you understood him, maybe then he would be nice,” she says. “He could give you so much. Why would you leave him? Maybe if you went back, everything would be okay.”
“No, Mom, nothing would be okay. I would not be okay.” I’m holding the doorframe for support, anything to ground me because right now it feels like I’m sinking into a black, bottomless pit.
“I hate him,” I hiss.
“I don’t believe that,” Dad says. “There must be something good about him.”
“Stop,” I say, my voice getting louder. “Just stop. I came here to see if you’d finally regretted your decision, but I was wrong to believe you’d ever change.” My fingernails dig into the wood.
“You needed money, so you sold me. Tell me. Say it to my face that you did that.”
“Yes, we sold you to Greg.”
I swallow when I finally hear her admission. “Was I ever more than just a money tree to you?”
“If you’d gone to a university and become a lawyer, we wouldn’t have had to,” Mom says.
“Or a doctor,” Dad adds as if it makes it any better that he offers me options.
“You wouldn’t want a daughter who worked at a coffee shop. Of course,” I say, blinking away the remaining tears.
“We sold you to him because the marriage would make you a better person,” Mom says.
“You think so too?” I ask Dad, looking him directly in the eyes.
Neither of them shows any remorse. “Yes.”
That’s it.
The final bullet tore through my heart.
I nod slowly with a scowl on my face, releasing the doorframe from my grip. “Fine. This is the last time you’ll ever see me again.”
As I turn around and start to walk, Mom yells at me. “What about Greg?”
“You won’t see him either.”
“But … Hyun!” Dad tries to call me back, but I keep on walking.
“No,” I yell back, finally feeling like I’ve done something good. Something solely for me. “I gave you your final chance. It’s over.”
***
Accompanying Song: “Technically, Missing” by Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
Drake
I pick up my ringing phone and answer it when I’m sure no one’s listening in to the conversation.
“It’s done.” Hyun’s voice makes my head fill with worries.
“I talked to them,” she continues. “They finally said exactly what I wanted to hear. So now I’m done with them forever.”
“But they’re your parents …”
“No,” she says. “It’s over. I don’t need them anymore.”
The phone call ends in beeps, and I look down at my cell phone and realize she’s finally come to her senses. A proud smile spreads on my lips.
A half an hour later, I’m at her home, and when I knock on the door and she opens it, I’m met with open arms and a hug. “Are you okay?” I ask.
“No.” She sniffs and sucks in a few breaths. “But I will be.”
“If you want me to—”
“Tomorrow. We’ll deal with it tomorrow. Stay the night, please.” Her pleading voice is like music to my ears. “I need you close.”
“Of course,” I answer. “What about …?” I don’t dare finish my sentence. I don’t want to upset her. However, I get the feeling she knows exactly what I mean.
She tilts her head back to look at me, swiping away a tear that rolled down her cheek. “I’m ready.”
“Are you sure?” I ask, looking at her with half-mast eyes. “There’s no taking it back. Once they’re out of your life, they’re out.”
She nods, her face turning resolute … bold … different from what I’ve seen before. She’s changed since I’ve been here. Whether it’s for the better, we’ll have to find out.
“All right,” I say. “But first, let’s eat.”
She licks her lips and walks back into the kitchen, taking a soufflé out of the oven. “Made it just for this special occasion.” She puts it on the table and points at a chair. “Sit.”
It’s been a long time since someone invited me to dinner … and a long time since I actually listened to someone when they gave me a command. But for her, I’d gladly do anything. And when it comes to her food, nothing can beat the taste.
I take in the scent of delicious cheese. “Yum.”
She grabs our plates and scoops it up for us, after which she pours wine into our glasses and holds up her glass. We toast. “To a better future,” she says with a smile.
“May they all rot in hell,” I add, and she returns my grin.
Right as she puts down her glass and I pick up my fork, she pulls something from her pocket and places it on the table. The audio recorder I gave her.
“Listen,” she says, as she plays the recording of her conversation with her parents. “Do you hear it?”
I bite my lip, and a lopsided smile forms on my lips. “The sound of humiliation and defeat.”
She cocks her head, the vengeful look in her eyes finally culminating to what it should have been all this time. “Exactly.”
***
Accompanying Song: “I Started a Joke” by ConfidentialMX ft. Becky Hanson
A few days ago
As she lies in my arms, dozing off into a soundless sleep, my eyes remain open. I think about my past and the one thing I haven’t told her yet, wondering if I should. It’s something important, something that made me who I am. But it was wrong. So wrong. And I regret it to this very day.
I’ve never told a single soul.
But she … she’s worth it.
And I wanna find out if she can carry the burden of knowing the truth.
So I clutch her shoulder and whisper in her ear, “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Mmmhmm,” she mumbles, half-asleep.
I smile against her skin and press a kiss to her neck. “It’s about the girl from my class … when I was still a teacher.”
“What about her?” Her eyes flicker open.
“I didn’t take it so well that she betrayed me,” I say, caressing her neck and shoulder. “So I went to her house … and strangled her with her own scarf.”
Her eyes burst open, and she stares ahead at the wall, not moving an inch.
I wait, but there’s no response, so I softly ask, “Are you afraid of me?”
She shakes her head. “No.”
I lick my lips and place a
nother kiss on her shoulder. “Even when you know I’m a killer?”
“I would’ve done the same thing,” she replies.
In disbelief, I stare at her for a few seconds then shake my head and swallow a laugh.
I give her a final kiss on the cheek and lie down, closing my eyes. “Good night.”
***
Accompanying Song: “Technically, Missing” by Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
Hyun
Now
I dream of the city and blood raining from the sky. It’s a dream within a dream, but I can’t wake up, no matter how hard I try. And through it all … I carry a witch-like smile.
When I finally wake up, Drake is gone. I’m not surprised.
I rise and put on some clothes, rinsing my face before going into the kitchen to make some coffee. But on the counter, I find something that stops me in my tracks. A camera.
I don’t own a camera like this.
Frowning, I pick it up and check the images on the SD card, wondering if Drake left it here. But then I notice the pictures he shot are of me. All of them. Including ones where I’m in my bed … under the shower … naked.
All of them.
Explicit as can be.
22.
Accompanying Song: “Technically, Missing” by Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
Hyun
My hands shake, and I clutch the counter to remain standing as I come face to face with my own image. I know Drake always had a thing for me. I know he was watching me every single minute of the day. But I never knew it went this far. This deep.
And now, I wonder why he left it here for me to find.
Does he want me to keep them or destroy them?
Only one choice fits this narrative.
With trembling fingers, I peel open the back of the camera and take out the SD card. I go to my bedroom and fish the folder from underneath my bed, stuffing the SD card in with all the other notes Drake has sent me. It’s safe here. No one knows where I keep these except me.
Like a little secret we share that no one can find out about.
Just him and me.
For better … or for worse.
Only when I go back into the kitchen do I notice the small piece of paper lying on the counter. On it are a few typed out words that create knots in my stomach. But still, as I read through it over and over again, I bring it to my folder and stuff it inside, knowing full well what the message entails … and that I’m about to keep it.
There was once a man who loved a woman so deeply he would die for her.
But no matter what he did, he couldn’t make her happy. Not as long as other people kept her from him. People who didn’t understand their type of love.
So in order to be together forever … the man concocted a plan.
And decided to end it … once and for all.
***
Accompanying Song: “I Started a Joke” by ConfidentialMX ft. Becky Hanson
Drake
I put on the suit I’ve kept in my closet for weeks and look at myself in the mirror to make sure everything looks exactly the way it’s supposed to. Then I put on a hat, grab the rope on the counter, and leave my home. Jogging through the woods, I make sure no one sees me as I put on my gloves and make my way to the city.
Being as inconspicuous as possible is my forte, and even if people see me, I know they won’t recognize me. I’m wearing a fake mustache, and combined with the hat and the clothes, I look like a whole different person.
Exactly what I need to get the job done.
I trek the way to my destination on foot. To make sure I can’t be tracked here, I’m not using my car or any other vehicle. When I finally arrive at the house, my heart begins to race, and a wicked smile forms on my lips. I’ve waited so long to be able to do this, and now that the moment has finally arrived … I feel like a kid trick-or-treating on Halloween night.
With big steps, I walk up to the porch and make sure no one’s around before knocking on the door and swiftly hiding behind one of the bushes. The door creaks open, and I hear footsteps.
“Hello?” a sweet voice utters, but I know she’s a devil in sheep’s clothing.
I don’t respond. I wait. And when she turns around to close the door, I lunge inside.
Within a second, I have the rope wrapped around her neck.
Twisting.
Turning.
Her hands grasp at the fiber. Nails desperately trying to claw their way out.
I hiss, “This is it … This is the end.”
“Help …” Her voice is scratchy. The harder I pull, the better it sounds.
“No one’s coming to help you now. You never helped her either.”
“Hyun …?” She gasps, and I know she realizes exactly why I’m here.
“You brought this upon yourself,” I growl into her ear, pulling the rope even tighter.
Her skin breaks underneath the fibers. She struggles so much that it feels empowering. Invigorating.
Exquisite.
Like tasting a fine wine from an age-old bottle.
Or the first rain after a drought.
Or like the smile on your lover’s face after seeing her languish in lasting misery.
My blood rushes with fury and contempt as I pull the string tighter and tighter until there’s no more room for breath. Until her lips stop producing sound. Until her arms grow limp and her body collapses in my arms.
Death.
A bittersweet revenge.
A voice calls from upstairs in a language unfamiliar to me.
I drop her body, the sound of it flopping onto the floor not even fazing me as I walk into the kitchen and grab the biggest butcher’s knife I can find. Then I wait behind the door as the man saunters down the stairs. I hear his footsteps as they barge into the hallway and come to a soundless halt.
I know why he stopped.
He’s witnessing the unraveling of his whole life.
And nothing about it matters because I approach him from behind, reach around, and shove the knife deep into his throat.
He gurgles out loud as he sees the dead body of his wife and knows his own demise is near.
Blood spouts out like a broken faucet, and the man immediately grabs his neck in an attempt to stop the bleeding. He realizes too late that the blade is still stuck in his flesh … and that my hand is holding it in place.
As he stumbles in place, I pull it out and ram it back in below his ribs. Again. And again. Until his body slumps to the floor, convulsing, blood pouring everywhere.
I look down upon my victim and cock my head, wondering what he’s trying to say, but nothing manages to come out from between his lips … except for blood.
I go to my knees beside him, gazing into his soulless eyes, which beg me to relieve him of his pain. But I will do no such thing. Instead, I take my time to wipe the blood off the knife on his shirt, his body jolting up and down from each stroke. I clean the knife thoroughly and tuck it into my pocket.
With grinding teeth, I growl, “This … this is all on you. If only you had loved your daughter more than you did.”
And then I get up and walk out the door, tipping my hat to make sure it covers my face as I get out of there.
***
I take out my prepaid cell phone and dial Greg’s fucking number. When he finally picks up, the first and only thing I say is, “I just fucked her real good. You jealous?”
Then I hang up the phone, take out the chip, crush it, and chuck everything in a bin beside the road.
A smug smile spreads across my lips as I imagine the asshole exploding in rage. Magnificent.
Fifteen minutes later and I’m at his home.
I’ve waited for so long to finally see him burn.
First, I put my gloves back. Then, after I’ve made sure no one’s around, I sneak up under his window and peer inside. I don’t see anyone there, so I jerk the window to see if it’s unlocked. Luckily, it is, and I scoot it open enough to be able to slip through.
It doesn’t faze me at all.
I go into his kitchen and open the drawers until I find one filled with cutlery and place the knife inside. I rummage in my other pocket and take out the two pictures I made of Hyun, placing them on the counter. One of the notes I typed out is carefully placed beside his laptop sitting on the counter. I open his laptop and open a word file, typing out a few more words that look exactly like the messages I’ve sent to Hyun so far, and save it to his files. Then I take out the audio recorder Hyun used and place it in the drawer beside the knife.
Before I leave, I grab his packet of cigarettes lying on the cabinet in the hallway and light one up. Nothing beats smoking a good cigarette while escaping a motherfucker’s house. Except for a neatly fitting crime scene that’s perfectly shaped for destruction.
***
Hyun
Accompanying Song “My Body” by Perfume Genius
When the doorbell rings and someone slams the door obsessively, I know it’s about to go down.
“Hyun? Open the goddamn door!” It’s him. I knew it. Greg.
With a knot in my stomach, I grab the gun hidden behind the vase, determined not to let him corner me again. It’s time I ended this game of cat and mouse once and for all.
When I was still with him, I always loathed myself for not sticking up for myself. For not fighting him more. For not doing everything I should have, sooner …
Indecent Games Duet - Boxed Set Page 35