“Chester,” I said, “if you’ll put that gun down right now, we’ll forget the whole thing. I won’t even throw your ass in jail. Just put the gun down and go on home.” “No,” he said. “I’m going to do it.”
He thumbed back the hammer on his shooter, and just then ole Bonnie stepped up behind him and swung a half-full bottle of cheap booze about as hard as she could swing, and I know how hard that is from personal experience. That bottle smashed on the back of ole Chester’s head, sending pieces of glass and cheap whiskey all over the place, and Chester’s face went blank, and his knees buckled, and he fell flat over. God a’mighty damn, I thought for sure she had kilt him.
I jumped up and run over to where he had fell, and I kicked that gun away from him. Sly picked it up and eased the hammer down. The back of ole Chester’s head was running blood. I looked up at a table full of citizens not far away, and I said, “A couple of you men carry ole Chester here over to the jail, and one of you go get Doc. Hurry it up, now.”
They jumped up to do what I had told them to do, and I walked on back over to where I had been a-setting with Sly. I plopped down again and picked up my tumbler to take me a good long drink. Bonnie come over and set beside me. “You done good, ole gal,” I said.
“Thanks,” she said. “I didn’t want no one getting hurt.”
“No one ’cept only ole Chester,” I said.
“Well,” she said, being defensive-like, “he was the one a-waving the gun around.”
“I said you done good, baby,” I told her. “Hell, you knocked the crap out of him.”
I put a arm around her shoulders and give her a little hug, and I took myself another drink.
“Sly,” I said, “did you really have your shooter out under the table, or was you a bluffing?”
“I was bluffing, Baijack,” he said.
“I’ll be damned,” I said. “I got to hand it to you, Sly. You’re a cool one.”
“But you see, Baijack,” he said. “There’s no end to it.”
“There might could be,” I said. “Hell, we already knowed about ole Chester. I just never thought the little bastard woulda had the guts to actual point a pistol at you.”
“He might have been the one to kill me,” Sly said, “if it hadn’t been for Miss Boodle here. I sure do want to thank you, ma’am.”
Ole Bonnie, she blushed and giggled, and then she said, “Oh, it wasn’t nothing, Mister Sly. I’m just glad to of been some help.”
“Well,” he said, “you certainly were. Without you, someone would surely have been killed here tonight. Maybe more than one. You acted fast, and you did exactly the right thing.”
“Yeah, Bonnie,” I said. “He’s right about all that. Well, I reckon I’d best get my ass over to the jail and see that ole Chester is patched up and locked up and all.” I give Bonnie a peck on the cheek, and then I drained my tumbler before standing up. “I’ll be back here in just a bit, sweet thing,” I said, and I headed on over to my marshalling office.
Chapter Eleven
Well, I never stayed up too late that night, it being my first night back home and all after a couple of days away, and me and ole Bonnie had ourselfs a hell of a reunion, if you know what I mean. Since I was in bed so early, why, just natural I was up and around early the next morning. I had me a breakfast of steak and eggs right there in the Hooch House, and pretty soon, here come ole Sly back from his regular breakfast over at the White Owl. He come right over and set down with me.
“Lillian was very happy at the news,” he said. “I want to thank you again.”
“Oh,” I said, “you mean about the dee-vorce and all.”
“Yes,” he said.
I didn’t know whether to be thrilled and overjoyed or kinda hurt by the news that ole Lillian was very happy about getting herself unhitched from me. I was feeling pretty good about it my own self, so I decided to be thrilled and oveijoyed that she was tickled over it too.
“Just let me finish this here coffee,” I said, “and we’ll take us a little walk over to ole Peester’s pettifogging office.”
“Sure,” said Sly.
*
Well, ole Peester like to of messed his britches whenever he seen who it was I was a-bringing in to see him, but I told him to just set still and shut up and listen. He set back, all right, but he was some tense, I can tell you that.
“First thing,” I said, “I want you to do me up a dee-vorce from ole Lillian. She’s agreeable to it, so there won’t be no problems.”
“There will be the problems of property settlement,” Peester said. “You and Mrs. Baijack own a home and a business jointly. That will have to be settled.”
“Mr. Mayor,” said ole Sly, “Mrs. Baijack, with my help, would like to buy her husband’s share of both the home and the business. I’m sure we can agree on a fair price.”
He give me a look when he said that, and I nodded. “We can do that for sure,” I said. “Now, what other problems do you see a-looming up in fronta you so you can charge more money for this here deal?”
“There’s the matter of custody of the child,” Peester said.
“I ain’t going to fight her over that,” I said. “There ain’t no problem. Now, can you get this thing did right away?”
“Well,” Peester said, “yes, I suppose I can, but are you absolutely sure of this? Is Mrs, Baijack sure this is what she wants?”
“Me and ole Sly here can both guarantee you that,” I said, “but if you need her own word for it, why, hell, we’ll send her on over here to see you.”
“That would be good,” Peester said. “Is that all?”
“No, it ain’t,” I said. “You been a-shaking in your shoes ever since ole Sly here come to town. You even advised me to break the damn law a time or two. You been acting in such a way that the only thing I can figger is that you’re just in the same boat as them others what was so upset about Sly being here. You figgered that he come here special just only to kill you. Am I right about that?”
“Well, I —”
He went on a-blubbering and stammering and never said nothing to get a handle on, so I just interrupted him. “Now, the way I got it figgered,” I said, “is that you’re a-skeered that either ole Singletree or his missus, what was her name? Agnes? You’re a-skeered that one of them two or maybe that there Jonsey hired ole Sly here. Am I on target so far?”
“Barjack, I, well, yes,” he said.
“Now Mr. Sly,” I said, “have you ever met a man by the name of Singletree?”
“I have not,” Sly said.
“Have you ever met Agnes Singletree?” I said.
“Never,” said Sly. “I assure you, I’d remember that name.”
“And what about Jonsey?” I said.
“No,” he said.
“Then you ain’t come to town with it in your head to kill ole Peester here?” I said.
“I never heard of Mr. Peester before I came to town,” Sly said. “Further, as I told you before, Marshal, I didn’t come here to kill anyone. I came here for a much-needed rest.”
“Now, Peester,” I said, “did you hear all that?”
Peester nodded his head up and down real fast and silly looking. “Yes. Yes,” he said.
“Do you believe that Mr. Sly here is a-lying to you?” I asked him.
“Oh no. Oh no,” Peester said. “I believe what he said.”
“Then for once and for all,” I said, “are you a-going to relax and just let me do the marshaling job and stop hounding me and stop worrying about what Mr. Sly is a-doing here?”
“Yes, Baijack,” Peester said. “I promise.”
“‘Cause in the first place,” I said, “he ain’t lying to you. He ain’t after you. In the second place, if I get any more trouble outa you on this here matter or any other matter, I just might be tempted to reopen a old case that had something to do with ole Singletree and his Agnes. You get my meaning?”
“I understand you, Baijack,” Peester said. “Believe me, everything
’s all right. I’m sure that I’ve come to a clear understanding of the presence of Mr. Sly in our community, and I have no problem with it whatsoever. None. Furthermore, I’ll get to work on these divorce papers right away.”
“That’s good,” I said. “We’ll send ole Lillian on over to visit with you.”
“Yes,” he said. “Please do.”
As I turned to head out the door, Sly touched the brim of his hat. ‘Thank you, Mr. Mayor,” he said.
Me and ole Sly walked on out into the street, and Sly give me a look and a grin. “Baijack,” he said, “I’ve never known anyone quite like you. You handled that all very neatly.”
“You just got to know how to deal with ole Peester,” I said. “That’s all. You want to stop by the White Owl and tell Lillian to get her ass on over to Peester’s office?”
“I’ll do that,” he said, “happily, but I won’t phrase it in exactly that way.”
Well, I didn’t have no reason to see her, likely never would again, so I said toodle-oo to ole Sly and headed my ass back on over toward the Hooch House. And I was a-thinking as I walked along how ever’thing had turned out just about damn near perfect. For one thing, I had final got ole Peester all shut up and at my mercy, since I knowed about them Singletree stories. It didn’t make no nevermind that I didn’t know which story was the truth. It was enough that I knowed about them. And not only did I know, but he knowed that I knowed, and on top of all that, I believed that I really did have him final convinced that he weren’t in no danger from ole Sly.
Then there was all of them others what had took Sly’s appearance in Asininity so hard. It did seem like as if they had all been calmed down or locked up or kilt, and it looked like there weren’t going to be no more trouble along them lines neither. But the best of all was the wonderful fact that my Lillian and ole Sly had fell for each other in a real big way, and that was a-going to get Lillian offa my back for once and good. I tell you what. I didn’t believe that I had a worry in the whole entire world that day.
Oh, I was going to have to go to court over to the county seat in a few days, but that weren’t nothing but a minor inconvenience. I’d have to go over there with Sly and Happy and Bonnie, ‘cause they was all important witnesses in that there case. We’d have to tell the judge what we seen and how ever’thing happened and all, but I didn’t see no problems with none of that. Like I said, I figgered it to be a minor annoyance is all.
I seen ole Happy walking along toward the jailhouse, and I give him a smile and a wave. I started on over to the Hooch House. I didn’t know what kinda company I might have in there. It was early. Bonnie would still be in bed, and I weren’t about to bother her that early. I weren’t quite ready for my next flying lesson. I thought that maybe ole Sly would come on over and join me after he had walked Lillian to Peester’s office.
I went on inside the Hooch House and found Aubrey a-serving a beer to a cowboy on his day off. I wasn’t ready to start in on my day’s drunk, so I told Aubrey to get me some coffee, and I went on over to my favorite table and set my ass down. He brung me my coffee in just a bit. I drunk two cups before ole Sly come on in and set down with me. Aubrey brung him some coffee and then went away to leave us alone.
“Baijack,” said Sly, “I want to tell you my plans.”
“Ain’t none of my business,” I said.
“I want to tell you anyway, if you don’t mind,” Sly said.
“Well, all right,” I said, “if that’s the way you feel about it, go on ahead.”
“As soon as your divorce is final,” he said, “Lillian and I mean to be married. I intend to be the best stepfather I can be for the boy. I’m going to give Lillian the money to buy your share of the house and the White Owl from you, and then I mean to settle right here in Asininity. Do you have any problem with any of that?”
“The only thing I might could have a problem with,” I said, “is letting the White Owl stay on in business and me not making no profit from it. I been real careful about that sort of thing here. You mighta noticed that there ain’t no place in town you can get whiskey or beer’cept from me. But in this case, since it’ll be you and Lillian, and since in a way I will be a making a profit from it, I reckon it won’t bother me none at all.”
“You don’t mind,” Sly said, “if I marry your ex-wife and go right on living here in the same town with you?”
“Hell, no,” I said. “I ain’t got no one to drink with here other than Happy and Bonnie and now you. I don’t want you going nowhere.”
He seemed to relax considerable, and he grinned wide at me. “Thank you, Baijack,” he said. “I have another question for you.”
“Shoot,” I said, and then it come to me that was maybe not the best way to answer the Widdermaker, but I had done said it, so I let it go.
“What are you planning to do with that man over in your jail?” he asked me.
“Aw, hell,” I said, “I figger I’ll just let him set there till they send word over from the county seat when we got to go back over yonder for the trial of them others. Then I’ll just carry him along with us and turn him over and make the charges on him then.”
“I’ve been thinking about him,” Sly said. “Why don’t you and I go have a talk with him?”
“You ain’t thinking we had maybe oughta let him go or something like that are you?” I said.
“I don’t know,” he said. “Let’s have a talk with him.”
“Well, all right,” I said. “When you want to do that?”
“Anything wrong with right now?” he said.
We finished the coffee we had in our cups and got up and walked on over to the jailhouse. Happy was a-setting behind my desk warming the seat of my big chair with his skinny ass and propping his feet up on my desk. He jumped up when he seen me a-coming and moved on over to his own little chair. I thought about chewing his ass out, but I decided to let it go this time.
“Happy,” I said, “why don’t you go on over to the Hooch House or someplace for a little break. Me and ole Sly here are fixing to have us a talk with ole Chester.”
Happy run on out the door, likely feeling lucky that I hadn’t said nothing to him about setting in my chair, and me and ole Sly each grabbed a chair and pulled them over by the bars to set down.
“Chester,” I said, “how you feeling in there?”
“My head hurts,” Chester said. He looked at Sly. “What’s he doing here?”
“Well, he ain’t here to kill you,” I said.
“What’re you going to do with me?” Chester asked me. “I ain’t for sure about that,” I said. “Mr. Sly here wants to talk with you. Maybe what you have to say will
have something to do with the answer to your question there.”
“Mr… Filbert is it?” Sly said.
“That’s right,” said Chester, looking real cautious and suspicious.
“Mr. Filbert,” Sly went on, “first off, I want to assure you that I did not come here to kill you. I never heard your name before I came to town. Now, I’d like to ask you just who it is that you think might have wanted you dead badly enough to have hired me.”
Chester looked at the floor and never said nothing.
“Listen, you silly little bastard,” I said, “Sly here is giving you a chance even after you went and tried to kill him. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll cooperate a little here.”
“You mean if I tell you, you’ll let me go?” Chester said.
“I ain’t making no rash promises,” I said, “but if you don’t tell us, I might come back in here after a while all by my own self and beat the crap outa you till you do tell me.”
“It’s my brother,” Chester said.
“Well, now,” I said, “how come your own brother would want you dead?”
“Back east,” said Chester, “our paw had a farm. Well, when Paw died, me and Ezra, we inherited the place together. Well, Ezra wanted to farm it, but I didn’t. I just wanted to get away from the farm. I hated it. I wanted
to sell, and we had a big fight over it. Well, I packed up my clothes and went to town, and I sold my half and took off. I used that money to get myself set up out here with the store and all. I figured all these years Ezra had it in for me, and when Sly here came to town, it came to me that Ezra had finally found me.”
“That’s it?” I said.
“That’s it,” he said.
“Well,” said Sly, “I’ve never met your brother. I’ve never heard of him until now. I assure you that I did not come to town looking for you.”
“Do you believe that, Chester?” I asked.
“Yeah, I guess so,” Chester said. “I guess I’ve just been a fool. Feeling guilty all these years — I guess it just made me kind of crazy.”
“Mr. Filbert,” said Sly, “have you got enough money to pay your brother back for what you did to him?”
“Well, yeah,” said Chester. “I guess I have.”
“Then I suggest that you write him a letter of apology,” Sly said, “and send him the money. That would ease your conscience, and it might even reconcile you with your brother.”
“Yeah,” said Chester, of a sudden brightening up some, like as if such a simpleminded idee had never even come into his head before. “Yeah. I could do that.”
“Baijack,” Sly said. “May I have a word with you in private?”
Me and ole Sly got up and walked out the door to stand on the sidewalk there, just the two of us.
“What is it?” I said.
“I know that you have a case against Mr. Filbert,” Sly said, “and I know that I can’t just say I won’t press charges, and you’ll have to let him go, but I’d rather see him go free than go to trial. Of course, it’s up to you.”
“Hell, Sly,” I said, “you’re the one he wanted to shoot a hole in. If you want me to turn him loose, I reckon I don’t give a damn. I’ll turn him loose.”
We went back inside, and ole Chester, he looked real anxious’cause we had give him a glimmer of hope. We walked on back over there to the bars of the cell where Chester was locked up.
“Chester,” I said, “Mr. Sly here don’t want to press no charges on you. I could go on and do it myself, and likely I had ought to do just that. You did try to kill a man, and right in front of my eyes, too. But I’m going along with what Mr. Sly here wants, and he wants you to go free. But first, I want you to assure me that you ain’t going to pull no more fool stunts like what you done before.”
The Gunfighter Page 11