by Sarah Hope
‘I know this must be difficult for you, but we do really need to make the effort to get along, I’m sure you agree.’ Susan pursed her lips, her cheeks concaving to reveal high angular cheekbones.
‘Hey, Chrissy, I just need a quick word, please? You two don’t mind if I steal her for a moment, do you?’ Holding Chrissy by the elbow, Natalie guided her towards the edge of the playground, away from Andrew, Susan and their ongoing interrogation. ‘Is that your ex? Are you ok? You look really pale. You’re not going to faint or anything, are you?’
‘No, I’m fine, thanks. Yes, that’s Andrew and his mistress, Susan. Apparently, I need to make an effort with her now that she’s ‘going to be a big part of the girls’ lives.’’ Holding her fingers up, Chrissy used her index fingers to make quotation marks.
‘She actually said that?’
‘Oh, yes. And then she wonders why I’m rendered speechless!’ Chrissy laughed, it was either that or burst into tears. ‘Anyway, thanks for rescuing me.’
‘That’s fine. Just promise to do the same at the wedding if Graham’s parents corner me and start talking about their bunions.’
‘Your wedding? I didn’t expect to be invited, not now that...’ Chrissy let her gaze be drawn to Luke, still with his beanie hat on, who was stood talking to Graham.
‘Of course you’re still invited, and the girls, obviously. If it wasn’t for you, I’d be wearing a bin bag as my wedding dress!’
‘Thank you.’ Patting her cheeks, Chrissy let the cold seep from her gloves to her cheeks, hoping it would dull the crimson blush flooding her face. ‘Are you all set for the big day now?’
‘I think so. I mean, Gina has everything planned down to the last detail, but there are still things out of her control that seem to be going wrong.’ Natalie rolled her eyes.
‘Oh no, what like?’
‘Well, for a start Graham’s great grandma was rushed into hospital with a broken hip last night, so I can’t see her being able to come. The 1970’s red bus we thought we’d hired to take the guests up to the reception has apparently blown a gasket or something, and then, of course, there’s Laura.’ Natalie ticked each one off on her fingers.
‘What about Laura?’ So she knew then? Was she worried that Chrissy would have a go at her at the wedding or something? Maybe she should reassure her.
‘Well, the fact that she’s in Italy and, now, it seems she’s not going to make it back in time for the wedding. So I’m afraid all those hours you put in working on her dress may actually have been for nothing.’
‘Right, I didn’t realise.’ Chrissy stole a glance at Luke, maybe that’s why he looked so down, standing next to Graham with his head bent as he kicked at something with his feet. He’d more than likely stay around for the wedding and then go and join her.
‘Yes, Phil rang her the morning of the meal and asked her to meet him back in London, which was why she didn’t come out that night. Apparently, he’s confessed his undying love for her and had already booked a holiday for them both.’
‘Wow.’ She was with Phil? Laura had been with Phil the night of the meal? She hadn’t gone. Luke hadn’t been with Laura that night. He’d been telling the truth.
‘Umm, I don’t know if it’s romantic or presumptuous. I mean, to book a holiday like that for the same day he had planned to apologise for being an idiot.’ Natalie shook her head. ‘He’s a nice bloke, I guess. I just hope he doesn’t break her heart again.’
‘I’m sure he won’t.’ Chrissy walked towards the wobbly bridge and gripped hold of the metal railing. Closing her eyes, she waited until the dizziness had passed.
‘Are you ok?’
Feeling Natalie’s hand on her arm, Chrissy opened her eyes and smiled. ‘Yes, sorry. I just felt a bit weird then, I should have had something to eat before I came out.’
‘Hold on, I might have something in the nappy bag.’ Leaving Chrissy standing alone, Natalie went back to Graham, Luke and the pram and began rummaging through her bag.
Looking across towards Andrew and Susan, Chrissy wound a loose strand of hair around her index finger. They looked so happy. It looked as though they were actually talking, having a proper conversation rather than the stilted one-sided conversations of the last years of their marriage, when Chrissy would talk to Andrew and he would nod here and there half-heartedly pretending to listen. No, they both had their heads dipped towards each other and Andrew was actually talking to her. Chrissy shook her head, good for them if they were happy. It was completely her fault that she wasn’t. Luke had been perfect. She’d just messed it all up because of her own insecurities. She had no one else to blame.
She shifted her gaze across at Luke who was now holding Natalie’s nappy bag as she delved into it, pulling out babygros and wet ones to pile into Graham’s waiting hands. Chrissy watched as Luke pointed inside the bag and pulled out a fruit bar before handing it to Natalie.
She dipped her head as he looked across at her and pulled her mobile from her pocket, tapping in her password she scrolled down reading old messages from him. He had ended every single one of them with a kiss. What had she done? Why had she jumped to the wrong conclusion so quickly? Just because Andrew had been unfaithful, it didn’t mean every other man she met would be. And Luke hadn’t.
‘Here you go. It’s a bit squashed but it might help. I must warn you though, they don’t look very pleasant, although Kane devours them quickly enough so they can’t be all that bad.’ Natalie brandished the bent fruit bar.
‘Thank you, that’s great.’ Unwrapping the bar, Chrissy swallowed trying not to gag on the strong taste of manufactured blueberries. She’d have to eat it and hope she could keep it down until she got home at least.
‘Luke was worried about you, he said you look ill.’ Tipping her head to one side, Natalie looked her up and down. ‘Which you do.’
‘I’ve probably got a cold coming on, that’s all.’ Waving Natalie’s concerns away, she finished the bar and shoved her hands in her pockets, trying to pull her coat away from her middle.
‘Well, make sure you’re better for the wedding. I can’t have anyone else drop out, everyone will think I don’t have any friends.’ Laughing, Natalie looked across at the classroom door again. ‘Here they come.’
Stepping forward, they both joined the throng of parents and grandparents who had pushed forwards, trying to catch a glimpse of their child or grandchild. With each child who exited the class, the crowd dispersed a little.
‘Evie, Sophia.’ Waving, Chrissy called to the twins as they came to the door.
‘Mum, did you see my dance? What did you think?’ Running across to her, Evie slung her bag onto the floor by Chrissy’s feet and jumped up and down.
‘I did. It was fantastic and so was your singing. I’m so proud of you, you did so well.’ Grinning, Chrissy pulled each one to her, kissing the tops of their heads. ‘And Sophia, you were great too. I’m so proud of you too.’
‘Umm, I was rubbish, just admit it.’ Sophia slipped her bag off her shoulders, letting it drop to the ground next to Evie’s.
‘No, you were not. You were great.’
‘No, I really wasn’t, but that’s ok, I hate acting.’
‘Sophia, you did really well.’ Too late, Sophia was already halfway across the playground on her way to the tyres to join a game of tag with her friends.
‘Evie, darling. You were amazing. The star of the show.’
Grimacing, Chrissy turned around and watched as Susan sauntered over, her arms wide, ready to give Evie a hug.
‘Thanks.’ Evie glanced back at Chrissy as she was enveloped in Susan’s arms.
‘Yes, you really were very good.’ Andrew patted Evie on the arm, waiting until Susan had let go and stepped back before he hugged her. ‘Where’s Sophia?’
‘Over there playing.’ Chrissy pointed to the other side of the playground.
‘You, miss, are definitely the actress of the family.’ Susan tapped Evie on the nose.
‘S
ophia was really good too.’ Looking down, Evie scuffed her shoes against the tarmac, something Chrissy hadn’t seen her do since she was four.
‘Of course, she was, but you were wonderful.’ Pulling her leather gloves off one finger at a time, Susan opened her clutch bag and pulled out two chocolate Santas. ‘Here you go, one for you and one for Sophia when she has time to come over and say hello.’
Biting her tongue, Chrissy took a deep breath in. ‘She’s just playing with her friends, I’m sure she’ll be over soon when she realises you’ve both come over to say hello.’ She decided not to mention that she had seen Sophia pause in her game and watch as Susan hugged Evie before running off again in the opposite direction. ‘And, both myself and Andrew decided before the twins were born that we’d try very hard not to compare the girls.’
Susan pursed her lips and put her gloves back on before turning to look at Andrew.
‘Chrissy, Susan didn’t mean anything by it. She was just complimenting Evie, which she deserved.’
‘Anyway,’ Susan linked her arm through Andrew’s. ‘We really must be going to avoid the rush hour on the way home.’
Home? Was she doing this on purpose? Was she trying to make Chrissy feel awful? Chrissy looked across at Luke who was giving Kane a piggyback ride while chasing Adam. Well, it wasn’t working. Susan was welcome to Andrew. Let them go home to their perfectly decorated and furnished detached house. It wasn’t Andrew who was making her feel awful.
‘Good idea. Evie, love, will you run over and ask Sophia to come over to say bye, please?’ Slowly, Andrew extracted his arm from Susan’s before plunging his hands in his pockets and staring at his shoes.
‘Well, thank you for coming. It means a lot to the girls.’
‘We wouldn’t miss it for the world.’ Susan straightened her floral scarf against her coat.
‘No, of course you wouldn’t.’ Smiling, Chrissy glanced across at Evie and Sophia, willing them to hurry up. ‘Here they come.’
‘Sophia, darling, you were a very good shepherdess.’ Placing her hands on Sophia’s shoulders, Susan leant across and kissed her on the forehead.
‘Thanks.’ Looking across at Chrissy, Sophia stepped back, letting Susan’s hands fall to her sides.
‘You’re very welcome. Maybe next time, just come over and say hello to your dad when he’s travelled this far to watch one of your shows instead of going off and playing with your friends.’
‘Excuse me...’ Stepping forward, Chrissy put her arm around Sophia’s shoulders, pulling her back towards her.
‘Yes, you were a lovely shepherdess but we need to get going now, so I’ll see you both on Boxing Day.’ Andrew looked across at Chrissy. ‘If that’s still ok with you?’
Chrissy nodded. What was the point of saying anything else, he’d only cut her off again. He could always make her feel that small with a mere look or insinuation that what she had to say was worthless. In a way, it was probably a good thing that Susan was so very confident and egocentric, at least he wouldn’t be able to make her feel as insignificant as he did Chrissy. Good luck to her. Stepping away, she let them say their goodbyes to the twins.
‘Bye, bye, Chrissy.’
‘Goodbye, Susan. Goodbye, Andrew.’ Narrowing her eyes, she watched them walk out of the school grounds, Susan’s arm once again linked through Andrew’s.
‘Right, I bet you two are hungry after your big performances. Let’s go home, get the woodburner on and bake some Christmas cookies. One more day of school and it’ll be the Christmas holidays!’ Picking put the two abandoned rucksacks at her feet, Chrissy led the way home.
‘At last! I feel like we’ve been at this school forever now.’
‘Hold on, I just need to tell Rachel something.’ Evie ran across the playground to a huddle of girls standing around a bench.
‘Are you ok, Sophia?’
‘Yep.’
‘Just ignore Susan. Your dad understands that you were off playing and it was nice for him to see how well you’ve settled in and that you’ve made so many friends.’
‘I know. I do ignore her. I don’t care what she thinks.’
‘Good.’
‘She’s out most of the time when we’re at Dad’s house anyway, so at least we don’t have to put up with her for long.’ Taking her rucksack from Chrissy’s hand, Sophia flung it over her shoulder.
‘Right.’ Pulling her scarf up over her mouth, Chrissy silently laughed. If Susan was like that all of the time, no wonder Sophia had got into an argument with her that time. Did Andrew know exactly what he had got himself into? It was one thing having all the excitement of an extra-marital affair, but Chrissy would imagine living with someone twenty-four seven would be completely different. She shrugged, he’d got himself into this.
‘Come on, Evie. It’s freezing.’ Sophia ran towards Evie and her friends.
Chapter 23
Pulling her royal blue satin dress over her head, Chrissy breathed in. If this one didn’t fit she’d end up going to Natalie’s wedding reception wearing jeans and a shirt. Wriggling her hips, she reached around and pulled up the zip.
She looked in the mirror, the royal blue fabric clung to her curves, which was ok, that was the style of the dress but it still didn’t improve her confidence. Turning to the side, she smoothed the dress over her stomach, a slight bump was obvious but maybe it was only because she was so conscious of it. To other people it would hopefully just look as though she’d put a bit of weight on. She put the palms of her hands against her cheeks. Would it though? Her face was looking gaunter by the day. The morning, or more fitting all day, sickness meant she’d hardly kept a thing down for weeks so she’d actually lost weight everywhere else apart from her waist area. It had been the same with the twins and she’d always joked that if she wanted to lose weight she just needed to get pregnant again.
Untying a floaty white scarf from the end of her bed, she wound it around her neck, letting it rest across her stomach. That was better, the contrast of the white against the royal blue took away the attention from her increasing waist.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, she pinched the bridge of her nose. She really didn’t want to go. She didn’t want to see Luke. She didn’t want to be reminded of how stupid she had been and how little she had thought of him. Over the last few days, he’d been going out of his way to avoid her and she didn’t blame him. Only yesterday when she’d taken the girls on a walk with Star, she’d spotted him duck into the pub when he’d seen them coming.
Maybe she was being paranoid, maybe it was her mind making things up. Still, it was definitely going to be awkward today, and if Natalie hadn’t been insisting they went, she’d gladly just stay in and have a movie night with the twins.
Standing up again, she took a silver diamanté necklace out of her jewellery box and put it on. She had to make the effort, Evie had been crying only last night upset that this Christmas things were going to be so completely different to last year. They’d always gone round to Andrew’s parents’ house on Christmas Eve for a big family party. They’d then stay overnight along with Andrew’s brother’s family so the girls had always been busy playing with their cousins. On Christmas Day, they’d wake up to a stocking and some share-me presents to keep at their grandparents before they’d go home after a big roast to open the presents Santa had left under their own tree. At least the girls would enjoy the wedding. Their friends at school had been talking about it for weeks. She couldn’t make them miss out.
Chrissy slipped her feet into her heels, this Christmas Day would be quiet and boring in comparison. They’d decided tomorrow they’d wake up to their presents, go for a long walk to the woods with Star and then have a Christmas movie marathon. It would be lovely in it’s own right, but much quieter than they were used to. On the plus side, they’d be no snide comments under Andrew’s breath at his parents’ house, no in-laws to try vainly to please and no arguments when they got home, and above all, no walking on eggshells until Andrew finally storm
ed out of the house.
Opening the wardrobe door, Chrissy ran her hand over the small wooden Christmas Eve Box she’d picked up at a craft fair at the beginning of December and smiled. Christmas would be good this year, she’d make sure of it. They would have a good time at the wedding reception and come home to the Christmas Eve Box, one of a few new traditions she had decided to implement.
She just needed to put Luke out of her mind and try to enjoy the night.
‘ARE YOU SURE MY HAIR doesn’t look funny like this?’ Evie pulled one of the curls between her fingers before letting it go, watching in the mirror as it pinged back.
‘It looks lovely.’ Chrissy smiled and turned the curlers off. ‘Are you sure you don’t want yours doing, Sophia?’
‘No way. It’s too girly for me.’ Sophia pulled her hair up into a ponytail and wrapped a hairband around it. ‘It suits you though, Evie.’
Peering into the mirror, Evie shook her head, the mound of curls dancing around her. ‘I like it. Thanks, Mum.’
‘You’re welcome. Ok, let’s get a photo of you both before we go.’ Pulling her mobile from her silver clutch bag, Chrissy indicated to the twins to stand side by side in front of the Christmas tree. Although they were identical, due to the way they were dressed you could hardly tell. Evie wore a pale pink chiffon dress and held a black purse in her hand, while Sophia had refused wear a dress, instead opting for smart dark jeans and a glittery purple t-shirt. ‘That’s it. Smile.’
‘Do you think they’ll be a buffet?’
‘I should think so, Evie. Right, you two go and wait in the car, I just need to make sure I turned my bedroom light off.’
‘Ok.’ Sophia caught the car keys as Chrissy threw them to her.