by J. R. Ward
The release was stronger than any he had been having down at that sex club, the sensations so crisp and clean, they were just like those blades, slicing through his body.
But he was worried what she would think of him. He didn't want to go too far, too fast--
Nope, he shouldn't have worried. Elise was enthralled, her white fangs biting into her lower lip as if she were holding in her own groans of pleasure, her eyes rapt on his cock and his ejaculations, her body poised to mount him.
Except when it was over, she just kept right on cutting, the head of his cock doing a desperate dance as she went up over his six-pack. Higher still to the pads of his pecs. All the way to his neck.
Axe couldn't have moved if he'd wanted to. Especially as she finished the job, moved all the material out of the way, and sat back.
"I want to touch you," she said with an awe that made him flush.
"Anywhere." God, his voice was rough. "Fuck, do anything you want to me."
She kissed him first, and holy hell, he loved being under her control, her mastery. He was naked, vulnerable from the injuries, and so fucking hot for her that she could violate him twelve different ways to Sunday and he would have begged her for more, harder, again, again, again, oh, please, Elise, take me again....
Her hands were like water passing over his skin as her tongue licked at his mouth and penetrated him, taking him while she gave of herself. And then she was kissing down his throat.
"What are these tattoos?" she asked as her lips brushed over his jugular. His collarbone. "Only one side? Your earrings and piercings as well."
"Two halves," he mumbled as he arched his lower body, his erection heavy and hot as it lay on his lower abdomen.
"Of you?"
He nodded and tried to answer. "Who I am...who I wish I were."
She paused. "Who do you wish you were?"
For a second, the mood was threatened, cracks appearing in the heat and lust. He couldn't afford to have it shatter, though. This was too good, too rare....
"Axe?"
"I want to be good. I really do." Fuck, he sounded like a child. "I want to be a good son, not a broken one."
"Well, I think you're good."
You don't really know me, he thought with a sudden fear.
Shit, what if she found out he was a dirty whore...and a former drug addict who had let his father down when the male had needed him most?
And it was sad, but as misplaced as her faith was, he needed it: Her belief in him was almost a form of forgiveness, something he desperately wanted, but had never expected to find.
"I want to be good for you," he said, meaning every word. In every way possible.
Except there was no dwelling on that--Elise proceeded to be reallllllly good to him, her mouth traveling down his torso, until it lingered at the head of his cock. Oh, fuck, her eyes were staring up his chest at him, and then she extended her tongue and tasted his tip. As he cursed out loud and jerked, she sucked him in--
A blaze of pain, in a place males generally didn't tolerate discomfort well, made him jump and make things worse.
"Ouch!" he barked as her teeth caught him again. "No, no--don't stop--"
"I'm sorry!" She sat up in a panic, his arousal still wrapped by her palm. "I've never done this before--I forgot I had fangs--"
"Keep going--"
"I don't want to hurt you--"
"I like it--"
All at once, the absurdity in the sexual situation hit them both, and he wasn't sure who started laughing first, but soon, they were both roaring.
It was so good to be free of pain and emptiness, to feel instead not only pleasure...but happiness.
It had been so very long for him.
Not since his mother had left and not looked back.
lise couldn't believe how crazy it was that she was acting like some kind of seductress--when in reality, she'd only had sex once, it hadn't been very good, and she'd certainly never tried to give anyone a...you know.
God, she was so repressed, she couldn't even say the words in her head.
Blow. Job.
"Yes. Please."
As Axe answered, she realized she'd spoken out loud. "Oh, jeez--guess I'm not very smooth, am I?"
He reached down and brushed her cheek. "You are...amazing. You make me feel things I never have before. You're perfect just exactly the way you are and with precisely what you are doing."
"But I just bit you on your--" And P.S., holy crap, she couldn't believe she was just sitting here with his sex in her hand like the thing was nothing more unusual than the receiver on a desk phone.
"Say it," he commanded.
"Um..."
"Love handle. Dumb handle, little head, dick, cock..."
More laughing with him, the two of them smiling together--and then she wanted to get back to business.
"Any suggestions?" she asked in a husky way. "What do you like?"
His hips rolled, and she was momentarily aware of the big white bandages on his thigh and the one on his ribs. But then his eyes flashed and he breathed hard and his voice dropped an octave--and suddenly she wasn't thinking about anything other than his taste.
"Run your tongue...up me...and around my head...."
Keeping her stare locked on his, she extended her tongue...and leaned back down to follow instruction.
"Elise..."
Yup, she knew without question she'd gotten it right this time, his erection kicking in her hand, his pelvis pumping, his expression of total heat and wonder.
"You are so beautiful..." he gasped as he watched her.
Lapping at the tip of him, she opened wide and tried to keep her teeth out of the way--and she must have succeeded, because although he went stiff all over, there were no yelps. Instead, he arched his spine and worked with her as she found a rhythm: Up and down, sucking him, stroking him on the bottom with her palm. Faster...faster...
"I'm going to come--" He groaned and went rigid--but also tried to push her away.
No, she was going to see this through.
As he barked out a curse, she took all of his orgasm, which seemed to drive him mad with passion, his convulsions and the response in her mouth as erotic an experience as she could ever imagine.
When it was all over, he went limp--to such a degree, his limbs banged into the floor.
"I love the way you taste," she said as she licked her lips.
And that made his erection flare in her hand.
"Climb up on me," he said gruffly. "I want to be inside you--climb up."
For a split second, Elise wondered, was she really going to do this?
The extent of his injuries scared her. If that was what could happen when he went out to fight, every single night, how long before he did not come home?
On that logic, though, she should do this because she could lose him at any moment.
And then she thought of herself, of the years she had spent on the sidelines of life, of her behaving according to values that had been imposed on her, rather than ones she had generated from her own core beliefs.
Right now? A beautiful male who had been nothing but kind and understanding--and supportive of her even against her father--wanted to be with her. And she was unattached, attracted to him, and in the privacy of a sacred space.
It simply didn't make sense to say no. Especially because she wanted him so badly.
Elise stripped off her fleece and the long-sleeved shirt she had on underneath. Ditched her bra and stood up.
And then she moved slower, because Axe was watching her with those rapt eyes of his, clearly memorizing every nuance of her body. Down went her yoga pants, past her thighs, her knees, and then she was kicking them free...and standing over him wearing only a pair of white panties.
"Turn for me?" Axe said in a tone that was so close to a begging.
Rising up on the balls of her feet, she pivoted around, showing him her backside. That was when she hooked her thumbs into her underwear and took it to the floor, b
ending her body while keeping her legs locked so she showed him exactly what she knew he wanted to see.
He didn't have to say a word of approval. His pumping purr and those volcanic eyes told her everything she wanted to know.
Elise stepped over him, straddling his hips. The firelight on her skin, the heaviness in her breasts, the curling urge between her legs, made her feel powerful and commanding--and she was glad it was happening like this.
This was going to be incredible.
Because she and Axe were going to make it that way.
Kneeling down, she put her hands on either side of his head and kissed him, over and over again, aware of how open her core was above his sex, how ready she was, how perfect this felt. And as they continued to move their mouths against each other, the warmth of his body rose up to her, and his palms stroked her thighs, her waist, cupped her breasts. When she couldn't stand the anticipation a moment longer, she was the one who stood his erection up and she was the one in control as she brushed him against her sex, stroking herself with the head she'd sucked.
They both cursed.
And then she gingerly angled him into the right place, and lowered herself onto him. The sensation of stretching and filling wasn't painful at all--and she was glad she had lost her virginity before so that the discomfort was out of the way and she could enjoy all parts of this.
Friction.
Using the small of her back and her hips, she began to ride him, and he helped her, countering her thrusts with those of his own, a momentum getting started. Her breasts swayed and her breath caught and the firelight turned everything into slow motion--or maybe that was her brain.
The oncoming release was like a train inside her body, gathering speed, the pleasure compounding on itself, radiating from her sex. And all the time they kissed and locked eyes and--
Her orgasm came first and unexpectedly, like a rubber band snapping, only there was no sting of pain, just a bursting and a welling and round after round of pleasuring contractions that she wanted to get lost in forever. And then Axe was thrusting up hard, going even deeper, a kicking taking over just as it had in her mouth.
After that? After it was all finished?
After the heat started to fade?
He started it up all over again.
--
It was the best sex of his life.
Absolutely mind blowing, Axe decided much, much later, when Elise was finally stretched out on his chest, their bodies sated, their erotic needs on the back-off, at least for the next hour or so.
Running his fingertips up and down her spine, he loved the smooth feel of her skin, and the weight of her body, and the scent of her sex. He could have stayed right where they were for the rest of his sorry-ass life.
But he knew it was getting close to dawn.
"Elise? You awake?"
"Mmmm?"
He stroked her hair. "As much as this kills me, it's got to be almost six a.m. You better go home."
She lifted her head off his pec. Her eyes were sleepy in the dying firelight, her lips swollen from his kisses, her cheeks still flushed.
"I want to stay here," she said.
"I want you to stay here, too. But do you think that'll help your situation? It's up to you."
She frowned and became very quiet for a while. "I'm sorry I came early, by the way."
"Not by much. Besides, you're welcome anytime, all the time. I never lock up. Just come in."
"I got here before midnight."
"Why?" He passed his palm up and over her shoulder. "And again, I don't give a shit. Move in if you want."
Holy fuck, did he just say that?
"I was upset. And I had nowhere else to go."
All at once, his protective male instincts fired up, his fangs descending, his body going back on the alert in spite of its injuries. "What happened? And who do I need to kill."
Yeah, he was only partially kidding on that last one.
At least she smiled a little. But it didn't last. "I, ah...well, I told you that my cousin was killed? You remember?"
"Yeah. Of course."
"Well, I went into her room. After you left? I didn't really plan on it, it just kinda...it was where I ended up. And I went into her closet--I was cleaning things up in there. It was such a mess. Such a mess...clothes everywhere, shoes..."
When she didn't say anything further, he stroked her shoulder. "Talk to me, Elise. And know it goes in the vault."
"Oh, I trust you. It's just...so ugly."
"I know from ugly. I'm not scared of it."
Her breath left her on a shudder. "My cousin, Allishon, and I? We weren't alike at all. I mean...the polite word for her was promiscuous. Her clothes weren't like mine. She didn't think like me. She didn't behave as I did--and she reveled in being the wild one. She was beautiful and out of control, and I always had the feeling that she enjoyed sticking it to her parents."
"I've walked that road," he said remotely. "It's good for nobody."
"Maybe if there had been more time? I don't know. Maybe she would have changed." Elise exhaled in a rush. "Anyway, I was in her closet--and I was cleaning up the mess. My aunt came in and surprised me--I mean, I haven't seen her since the night Peyton came to tell them about the murder. She looked...so bad. Sickly. Horrific. As if she had aged a thousand years, been starved and beaten."
Axe repositioned them, rolling over onto his side and cradling her face-to-face. "Was she grateful for what you were doing?"
"No. Not at all." Elise's eyes got a faraway look to them. "She said...the most hateful things about her daughter. It was all about image and the family's position in the glymera. She was angry and bitter about the fact that there was shame upon her. She was upset that she wasn't getting invited...to parties. It was the most extraordinarily selfish display I'd ever seen--and I just keep thinking, Well, of course Allishon acted the way she did. With a mahmen like that?"
Axe ground his molars as anger choked him. "Selfish mothers are the worst. That shit'll do a number on you."
Like, oh, say, a female who would desert her hellren and child for the money of the glymera. Yup. Read that book, saw the movie, bought the T-shirt, the insulated coffee mug, and the Blu-ray. Poster over his bed, too.
But he kept quiet about all that. They were focusing on Elise, and damn him, he really wanted to listen to what she was saying.
Elise shook her head. "I was so upset after I left her that I ran downstairs and out of the house...and I threw up on the front lawn. And then I just kept going, down to the bottom of the hill, out onto the road."
He imagined her careening through the night, her heart breaking, no one in her family understanding where she was at or really even caring.
"I'm glad you came here. And I wish I had known."
"Thank you for not being mad."
"Never."
"I asked Peyton to tell me what happened to Allishon. I'm meeting him tomorrow."
Axe had to regulate a spike of unease. Because that bastard had better STFU on the subject of bodyguards.
"I have to find out the truth." She looked away. "I need to know and I'm not sure I understand why that's so important. The death isn't reversible, nothing will change by my knowing what transpired. But my brain can't let it go and I'm not going to fight it."
"Maybe you're just going after the series of events because you can't get the real answers you want."
"I'm sorry?"
"Like..." Axe cleared his throat. "Maybe you can't ask your father what he really feels about the death. Maybe there are other things you'd like to know about him. What he thinks about your mother's passing. What he worries about night to night. Maybe he's unreachable." Axe thought about his own father down in the cellar with those blocks of wood. "Maybe you want to know what he actually feels about you. But you know that's never going to happen. You're never going to be close. He's always going to be focused elsewhere. And the shitty thing is, though...that just because you're aware of all that, doesn't mean the
searching goes away. And you can only sit with that for so long before you go crazy." He shifted his eyes from Elise...but then refocused on her and shrugged. "So you're looking for facts as a way to get close to him, because that's what people do. They go to the wrong places for things they can't get in the right ones."
When she just stared at him, he felt like a royal idiot.
She was getting her Ph.D. in psychology for fuck's sake. What did he know?
"Or not," he muttered. "I don't know what I'm talking about--"
Elise cut him off by kissing him. "God...you are so smart."
"I am? I mean...yeah, I'm an Einstein. Whatevs."
She laughed. "No, really, you're spot-on. I've just never thought of it like that."
For a long moment, he stared at her. Until she prompted, "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Axe kissed her, but then moved back. "You probably should go."
"I think you're right. If I'm going to spend the night with you, I want it to be on honest terms. And that is not going to happen over the phone with my father--and not just because I left that GPS-riddled cell of mine at home."
"If he kicks you out, you can stay here with me. And I'm only half joking about that."
"You are very sweet."
The snort he let out was an ugly sound, the kind of thing that he tried to keep down, but couldn't catch. And yes, she laughed at him--which made him resent the noise less.
But then Elise sat up and, tragically, began putting her clothes on. When she was back in order, she knelt down and pulled one of the blankets over his nakedness.
"Are you sure you're going to be okay here alone? I'm worried."
"If what we just did together didn't kill me, I guarantee you I'll make it to sunset."
"I'm serious."
"I'll be fine."
She kissed him and then went over to the fire, restoking it for him.
"You don't need to do that," he said.
"Too late." She smiled at him over her shoulder as she poked at the logs she'd added. "You know what I'm doing right now?"
"Looking hotter than what's going on in that hearth?"
"I'm trying not to ask when I'm going to see you again."
"I got an easy answer for that. Four a.m. tomorrow."
"Is that a date?"
"You better believe it." He wadded an old sofa pillow up under his head. "Call me when you're home safe?"
"Always. Where's your phone?"
"Oh...shit. I have no idea. Probably back at the training center with what was left of my clothes. And I don't have a landline."