by J. R. Ward
"I just lived through you getting shot in the chest! Why are you still standing! Rhage--"
He stepped in front of his mate and ripped his shirt clean down the middle.
As buttons went flying and then skipped across the marble floor, he exposed what used to be his shiny new bulletproof vest. But that now had more in common with Swiss cheese.
Rhage pounded on his chest. "Kevlar." He picked another bullet out and let the thing fall to the floor--where it obligingly bounced along to play with all those buttons. "I've been wearing them since I got shot, you know, the last time. I mean, yes, we agreed you'd stay with her after I die, but there's no reason to rush that."
All at once, he became aware of Ruhn standing in the far corner, his eyes missing nothing.
Rhage cleared his throat. "Or, you know, there was no reason to rush that."
There was a pause. And then Mary and Bitty were on him, his females hugging him and talking a mile a minute, nervous energy being burned off, the fact that he was sweaty and bloodstained not seeming to matter to them in the slightest.
"Z," he said over Bitty's head as she poked her fingers into the holes. "You need to get down to the garage. They're unprotected and operating on Peyton. And V, I'm pretty sure they could use another set of hands."
There was conversation at that point, and someone suggested Ruhn head off to wherever he was staying.
And that totally changed the vibe. Bitty turned to her uncle and so did Mary.
"When do I see you again?" Bitty asked with her customary directness.
"Tomorrow night?" Ruhn said in his quiet way.
"Okay."
At least they didn't hug, Rhage thought uncharitably as the male bowed, murmured a few words to Marissa and Mary, and then walked to the door--
"Wait," the little girl said.
Without warning, she burst forward...and embraced Ruhn.
It was just the way she had done it when she had been getting to know Rhage and Mary: Fast as a blink, but the first sign she was opening her heart.
Rhage felt tears spear into his eyes. More than any detail of the meeting, more than any he said/she said, this-was-discussed, that-was-explained, Bitty's actions told him exactly how her time with Ruhn had gone.
Funny, when he and Mary had been in the process of adopting the girl, Rhage had gotten flashes of insight that things were happening between the three of them, were changing, were going in a certain direction. Like his showing her the GTO and her liking the way it smelled...he and Mary taking her to T.G.I. Friday's in Lucas Square and him explaining that it was okay if they had to leave if it was too much for her to handle...that trip to the ice cream parlor...
He was getting exactly one of those flashes now.
Except instead of it showing him an open road...
...it was all about a brick wall.
eyton woke up with the worst headache he'd ever had.
But he didn't give a shit about the pain.
There was a wrist at his lips, and the most amazing blood he'd ever had was filling his mouth, blazing down his throat, pooling in his gut. And the more he took, the more some instinct for survival ordered him to drink and drink and then keep on going.
It wasn't until he opened his eyes that he found out whose it was.
Novo was standing over him, her face drawn and pale, her shoulders and arms bare, whatever jacket she had been wearing gone.
Were they moving? he thought as something bumped and he felt it throughout his body--
All at once, the argument in the cigar bar came back to him, he and Axe going at it hardcore, Elise running out after them, Novo showing up...the lessers--
Releasing the seal of his lips, he mumbled, "Dead? God...Rhage dead?"
"Only lessers," she said, before forcing her wrist back at him.
He exhaled and returned to the drinking. And after what could have been years or at least hours, but was probably only ten minutes or so, he went lax, the floating, blissful feeling of satiation working to calm him better than any amount of morphine.
It was the most perfect high.
But he couldn't get lost in the delicious sensation. Not with that female standing over him as she was.
"I'm gonna be fine." Or at least, that was what he meant to say. It didn't seem to come out right. Either that or his hearing was going.
"What?" she asked, leaning in as if proximity might work as well as a Google translator set to stupid.
He cleared his throat and forced his brain to come back online. "Elise okay? Axe?"
"Both fine."
"You?"
She held her arms out and moved around in a circle...and not for the first time, he noticed she was a damn fine female, if a little intimidating. She was just so tough, that body filed down to all its hard, muscular edges.
As Peyton started to become aroused, he took that as a good sign.
"I'm glad nothing hurt you," he said roughly.
"Are you getting emotional on me?"
"No, you're turning me on."
She seemed nonplussed for a second. Then she started to glare at him--which for them was probably progress. As in, things getting back to normal.
"Are you kidding me?"
He shrugged. "You're an attractive female. Surely I'm not the first male to tell you that. And what can I say, I've always had a healthy regard for the fairer sex."
She threw her head back and laughed. But it was not a happy sound. "Let me get this straight. You and I are in the Brotherhood's mobile surgical van, on our way to the training center because you were shot and now have a tube in your head to reduce brain swelling...and you're coming on to me?"
"My gray matter isn't the only thing getting bigger."
"You're like the indestructible slut, aren't you."
"You know, to most people, slut is an insult." He tried to lift his hand to make the point. And failed. "I personally take it as a compliment. Shows commitment to my work."
"Your work?"
Considering everything that had happened tonight, they might as well spend the trip to the training center arguing: He was rattling around inside his skin, and that energy needed an outlet--and shit knew she could give as good as she got.
"Sure," he said. "I work at being with the females. Practice makes perfect and all."
When she just re-crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against the wall again, he frowned. "If we're moving, shouldn't you be sitting down?"
"Yes, but I don't want to."
"Far be it from me to suggest reasonable behavior."
"That's the first intelligent thing you've said."
"Since I've regained consciousness?"
"Since I've known you."
He started laughing, but it made his head hurt, so he stopped. "Tell me something...where were you last night?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Do I need to speak more slowly? I'm the one with the cracked skull."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
For a moment, Peyton entertained the possibility that he'd had a stroke and he had slipped into aphasia. But no, he was speaking correctly.
"I called you last night."
"No, you didn't."
"Mmm-hmm." He went to nod his head, but the stinging pain stopped him. "I sure did."
"Not from your phone, you didn't."
Oh, right. "Shit, it was on Elise's. She had to leave it with me so she could go fuck Axe."
Yes, he sounded bitter. Which was a little rich, considering the guy had probably helped save his life tonight.
Take out the probably.
Novo frowned. "Axe was with me."
Now Peyton was the one pulling a blank. "I'm sorry, what?"
"Axe took me to The Keys."
Peyton actually tried to sit up. And as he gasped, Novo put a hand on his chest and forced him back down.
"Will you stop moving?" she ordered.
"What the hell is he doing taking you to The Keys? No female should be going the
re."
A bump in the road made everything hurt on him, as if the asphalt itself was taking her side.
Oh, and you want to talk about a death stare? If he hadn't already been flat on his back, her glare would have blown him out of his loafers.
"I asked Axe to take me there, for one thing. And I had sex with a woman, so yes, there are females at that club."
Peyton blinked a couple of times. Then pulled his laconic mask into place. "I didn't know that was your thing."
"I like women, females, men, and males."
"And Axe."
"Yeah, and Axe."
The tips of Peyton's fangs started to tingle. "Well, I bet you two had a great time. Before he went home to my cousin." He lifted his hand to rub his face, but the IV in his arm prevented him from moving as freely as he'd like. "I told him not to go near her--and before you start lecturing me, no, it's not because he's just a civilian and she's an aristocrat. Elise isn't like us. She's...clean. She's better than we are. She deserves respect--like Paradise does."
"Oh, riiiiiiight. Your progressive paradigm of females. And I keep forgetting which of the two buckets you've put me in."
"Spare me, Novo, okay? You know what I mean. Paradise and Elise wouldn't be caught dead in a place like that, much less banging randoms and fellow trainees for shits and giggles."
"I'd like to remind you, Paradise is, currently, banging a fellow trainee."
"Yeah, but that's a relationship. Paradise was a virgin. Elise was, too. Goddamn it--how's she ever going to get mated now?"
Novo stared at him for a long time. "You know what I find fascinating?"
"What? And if it's the color of my eyes, I feel the same about yours--"
"How you can be such a sexist, judgmental pig. You have fucked twenty or thirty females since I've known you--and don't deny it, I've been out in the clubs and watched you go off with them. And yet you're saying a female shouldn't, or even can't, do it, too. Tell me, does that double standard you're sporting not bother you at all? Like, not even a little?"
"Females are different." He shrugged. "That's just the way it is."
Novo stared off somewhere over his head--and he had the distinct impression that in her mind, she was finishing off the job that slayer had started on him.
"No," she muttered, "actually, assholes are just assholes, no matter what's going on between their legs."
--
Across town, in a totally different zip code of Caldwell, Elise invited Axe into her bedroom and closed the door quietly behind them both.
"We made it," she said as she went directly to her bathroom. "Without anyone..."
The moment she saw her reflection in the mirror, she stopped and put her hands up to her cheeks. God...the blood.
Axe stepped in beside her and shook his head. "I didn't want you ever to see anything like that. Much less get stuck in the middle of it."
"Is that what your life is like? Going out there...every night...getting almost killed until some lesser finishes the job?"
"Don't think like that. You can't."
"How can I not?" She turned to him and found herself wanting to touch him all over, as if there were bullet holes and other injuries that had somehow been missed on him. "How can I forget?"
As if Axe knew what she needed from him, he put his mouth to hers and kissed her deeply. And all at once, she was consumed by the need to have him, her hands rough as she stripped his clothes and her own, the stained pile on the floor left where it landed as they went to her shower.
Whereas his was a simple stall with a tub bottom, hers was an entire enclosure you walked into, six shower heads raining down water that could be programmed to specific temperature preferences. And there was also almost no waiting at all for the warmth.
But she didn't need the luxury. Not to be with him, now or ever.
After they soaped each other up and down, and rinsed away the gruesome souvenirs of the night, they left the bathroom and she turned off all the lights except one in the far corner. Lying down in her big bed, under her soft sheets, they made love quietly with him on top of her, their eyes meeting as their bodies were joined together. She found her release first, scoring his back with her nails--and he soon followed, his hips jerking and bucking against her, his powerful orgasm filling her up and teeing off another for her.
There was no lingering closeness afterward, though.
"I need to go," he whispered. "I can't stay here."
"Sure you can. My father never comes in my room."
"I don't want to take even a small risk of getting you in trouble. I already nearly got you killed tonight."
As he got out of the warm nest their bodies' exertions had created, she stood up and pulled on her pink bathrobe--and thought it was a shame to have the stained things he'd worn during the fight put on over his now-clean skin. But he didn't seem to care.
All too soon, he was standing in front of her, rubbing her shoulders. "I can't believe how brave you were tonight."
"Brave? Are you kidding me? To use a vernacular expression, I was crapping in my pants."
"You walked right up to a lesser, shooting the whole time. If I hadn't been fucking terrified for you, I would have been totally aroused."
She smiled a little, but it was hard to hold on to. "When can I see you again?"
"Tomorrow night. And before you ask, yeah, definitely. I'll let you know the second I hear anything about Peyton."
"Please." She frowned, thinking back to the cigar bar. "I'm sorry he was so disrespectful to you. He can be...old-fashioned and difficult sometimes, but he's not a bad person."
"I don't want him to die. And I don't want trouble from him. He just needs to stay out of my way and I'll stay out of his."
Elise nodded and then went into a kind of stasis. She didn't want him to go, but knew he didn't feel comfortable staying--and she couldn't blame him.
"Shit," Axe breathed. "Come here."
Safe in his arms, she relaxed and held him close, feeling his warmth and strength.
"I wish there was something I could do to help you," he whispered as he rubbed her back. "I feel like I'm bad for you."
"No, you're not."
After a while, she said, "Actually..." Pulling away from him, she took a deep breath. "There is something you could do for me."
"Name it," he replied. "And it's yours."
he following evening, Rhage and Mary let Bitty go to the Audience House again to see her uncle.
It wasn't any easier, Mary decided. Nope. Not something you got used to--especially not after Rhage's getting shot.
And as the Mercedes took off down the hill once more, she and Rhage went back into the house and stalled out in the foyer. The mansion was largely quiet, First Meal being cleaned up, the Brothers going on about their nights, the shellans, too.
"I kind of feel left behind," she said as she went over and sat on the lower step of the staircase. "You know, our lives are ending in a way. Everyone else is going on. I mean, I realize that's sadness talking, but it's how I feel."
Rhage came across and joined her. "I'm with you."
She glanced at him. "I'm so glad you were wearing that vest last night. But why didn't you tell me?"
"It's just an addition in gear. You know, after that last chest wound--that was too close a call, even for me. And with Bitty around..." He cleared his throat. "So, yeah, I asked Fritz to get me some. I tried a number of them out. And the one I had on last night is my favorite. Worked like a charm, too."
"Are you going to order another one?"
He shrugged. "Guess so."
Mary put her arm around his shoulders--well, not all the way around because of his size. "Bitty was so glad you're okay."
"She's a sweet kid."
As Rhage looked at his hands and pretend-picked at his clipped nails, Mary felt a now-familiar mourning that she recognized she was going to have to live with for the rest of her life. There would be times when it wouldn't be this acute, she told herself. Times
when it was even worse. But it was now her companion, a scar on her insides that was always going to be there.
She didn't have to ask Rhage to know that it would be the same for him.
"Do you have any regrets?" she asked softly.
"About taking her in?"
"Yes."
He was quiet for a long time, and she studied his handsome profile. His blond hair needed a trim. His cheeks seemed hollower than usual. And the grim light in those beautiful blue eyes made him look so much older.
As she rubbed his back, she felt the beast following her touch as she passed over his muscle shirt, the tattooed representation shifting to stay with her.
"I don't know," he said. "This is pretty rough. This is really hard. But no, I would still have wanted to take her in. If all I'm supposed to get is two months of being her father to tide her over to her rightful home? Then I'll be grateful for what I was given. I'd rather me suffer for the next thousand years over not having her than for her to have been alone in the world, getting those arms and legs fixed, wondering where she was going to end up. That trade-off's worth it to me."
Mary laid her head on his biceps. "That's how I feel, too."
"I owe you an apology, by the way."
"About what?"
"I should have told you about what they were going to do to Bitty's limbs. I didn't want to concern you, and I was hoping it was all going to be okay."
"Oh, God...not to worry. Water under the bridge."
"Yeah."
They sat there for oh, so long, the sounds of conversation in the kitchen and a distant vacuum and Wrath up in his study talking to someone trickling down.
Eventually, Boo, the black cat, padded by, the animal curling into a sit right in front of them.
"Have you got something to tell us, Boo?" Mary murmured. "We could use some good news."
A couple of meows were released, but they were hard to translate. And then Boo kept on going, attending to very important feline business, clearly.
"Did you talk to Marissa about how it was going to work?" Rhage asked. "You know...and when?"
Mary took a deep breath. "A social worker went down tonight to check Ruhn's cottage again. There will have to be regular welfare visits there, but V did all the due diligence brilliantly. Oh--and it turns out Ruhn's employer has access to schooling for Bitty. They're totally willing to help Ruhn get her into a program. That would be fantastic."
"She won't know anyone."
"She didn't know anyone when she came into this house. But she adapted."
"They won't know what she likes to eat. Her ice cream--she's in a mint chocolate chip phase now."