“Have you met her?” Dale asked.
His eyes flicked to Seth. Seth nodded.
“Did you . . .?” Dale asked.
Seth shook his head.
“In general, ballerinas aren’t my favorite,” Seth said. He pointed at Dale, “Ever repeat that, and we’ll have trouble.”
Grinning, Dale nodded.
“That’s what Ivan says, but he and she hooked up for a while,” Dale said. “She’s had a lot of those, I guess. She says that ballet is her one and true love, so the men don’t matter much. I thought . . .”
He put his long-fingered hand on his chest. Seth understood what he was saying.
“Ivan’s been with a lot of women,” Seth said.
“He likes women, and women like him,” Dale said. “That’s what Melinda says, anyway. I suppose that’s over.”
“Now that Ivan is with Sissy,” Seth said. “Probably. They have to work things out between them without our interference.”
Dale nodded and fell silent.
“What happened last night?” Seth asked in a kind voice.
“You’re good like that,” Dale said. “You see everything, without judgement, and somehow seem to know just where to intervene.”
“I’ve screwed up a lot,” Seth said.
Dale gave a sad nod. Seth let him think for a while.
“I thought maybe I was over it.” Dale’s voice came out like a whisper. “You know, Beth.”
Seth gave him an understanding nod.
“I . . . she . . .” Dale shook his head. “I started screaming.”
“At her?”
“No,” Dale said. “At least I don’t think so. God, that would be awful. Did she say I did?”
“No,” Seth said. “I was making sure you remembered correctly. Sometimes, when I’m very upset, I remember things as much, much worse than they actually are.”
Dale nodded.
“Is that true?” Dale asked.
“Sadly, yes,” Seth said. “Ivan said that you and Melinda have spent a lot of time together while you’ve been here in New York.”
Dale nodded.
“She’s very beautiful,” Dale said. “Fit, strong. So different from Beth.”
Dale swallowed hard.
“Not that Beth wasn’t perfect in every way,” Dale said. “Beth was perfect . . . ly Beth. Brilliant, beautiful . . . everything.”
Seth smiled.
“We had dinner,” Dale said. “I took her to that place that Otis owns. I wanted to go someplace where, if I had trouble, someone I knew would be there to help, you know. Plus, Beth hated sushi, so it’s not like I could remember her and me eating sushi. Anyway, Otis was there and he practically force-fed us everything like we were somebody famous. Then he wouldn’t let me pay.”
“He’s like that,” Seth said.
“It was nice. Just what I needed, really,” Dale nodded. “We laughed and ate. It was . . . nice.”
Dale smiled.
“She had to go to work early, so we left about ten,” Dale said. “I took her back to her place with the idea that I would just drop her off. She invited me in and . . .”
Dale fell silent. Feeling like he needed to push a bit, Seth leaned forward.
“What happened?” Seth asked.
“Oh, between us?” Dale asked. “Nothing. We kissed and . . . I thought maybe I could stay, you know. We agreed not to have sex. That was off the table because it was a first date and stuff. But I was going to stay the night . . .”
Dale cleared his throat.
“I don’t know what happened,” Dale said. “She was taking off her clothing. I watched and . . . she’s so beautiful, I was . . . aroused. Then, bam! I was standing over Beth in the condo kitchen.”
“You remembered,” Seth said. “You haven’t remembered the actual experience of finding Beth.”
“I did last night,” Dale said. He flushed red. “She had her back turned to me, and I started screaming . . . Horror. Fear.”
Dale started visibly shaking.
“It was like Beth knew that I wanted, you know, Melinda, and Beth . . .” Dale said.
Dale was shaking with emotion and tears were falling down Dale’s face.
“I realized how much I’d failed her,” Dale said. “Beth, I mean. Beth has only me and Ava to remember her, and I go and . . . She wanted me to remember that I’d killed her.”
“You didn’t kill Beth,” Seth said.
“No, I did!” Dale said. “I wasn’t there. If I had been there, he would have killed me and not her. I should be dead, not her. Not her. Not her. Not her. Not her. Not her. I should be dead!”
A sob escaped Dale’s guarded lips.
“Not her,” Dale said as a whisper. “And she knew it. That’s why she was there and . . .”
Dale fell silent. Seth watched the guilt and sorrow work their way across Dale’s face.
“I should be dead,” Dale said. He sighed. “Me, not Beth. I just ran. Out. And . . .”
He turned and looked Seth in the face.
“I should be dead,” Dale said. “Not Beth.”
“I understand what you’re saying,” Seth said.
Dale nodded.
“Do you think I should kill myself?” Dale asked.
“No,” Seth said.
“Why?”
“Because Beth wouldn’t want that,” Seth said. “She’d want you to be happy, to live your best life.”
“But . . .” Dale said. “I thought you understood.”
“I do understand,” Seth said. “More than you can possibly imagine. But . . . the dead . . . They don’t want anything from us, except for us to live well. That’s all.”
“How can you be sure?” Dale asked.
“I can’t be sure,” Seth said. “And I know Beth only through you and Ava. Through you, she seems to be amazing — kind, friendly, and someone who really knew how to live and love. Is that true?”
Dale nodded. He leaned over so that he was inches from Seth.
“But I should be dead!” Dale whispered. “Not Beth.”
“I’ve felt that way,” Seth said.
“What changed?” Dale asked.
“I realized that I should live to my fullest because they can’t,” Seth said with a nod. “I’m cheating them by not doing it.”
Dale’s head moved up and down in a nod.
“It’s going to take a while,” Seth said.
“It’s already been forever!” Dale said.
Seth smiled.
“Why did you smile?” Dale asked.
“Life is like a giant house,” Seth said. “Every room holds a different experience. Some experiences you’ve already had. Most rooms have yet to be explored, even in an old guy like me.”
Dale’s eyes flicked to Seth’s face and then away.
“You’ve just opened the door to Beth’s death, and your experience of finding her, and all of the lies you’ve told yourself or other people have told you,” Seth said. “You may stay in this room for a long, long time or slam the door shut. Either way, you’ve just ventured into this room. Just started.”
“It feels like I’ve been grieving forever,” Dale said. “I should get on with my life!”
“Why?” Seth asked.
Seth’s question was so clear that Dale looked at him.
“What do you mean, ‘Why?’?” Dale asked.
“You know what I mean,” Seth said. “If you move on, cast this aside, you’ll miss all the learning that’s right here for you. Plus, you’ll lose a chance to really get to know Beth — the whole of her.”
“What do you mean?”
“On the other side of this,” Seth said. “Maybe in an adjoining room, you’ll find your memories — good and bad, the huge fights and the lovemaking, the desperation and glory of knowing and loving Beth. Do you remember much about her now?”
Dale shook his head.
“Isn’t that better?” Dale asked.
“Is it?” Seth asked. “You’ve sai
d she was the best thing that ever happened to you. How could it be better not to remember the best thing?”
Dale looked across the room for a while before shaking his head. Seth nodded. They sat together for a few minutes in silence.
“I think I’d like to go home,” Dale said.
“When you’re ready,” Seth said.
Dale nodded.
“Smells like Ava made cookies,” Dale said.
“She’d love it if you came out to have some,” Seth said.
Dale got out of bed. He weaved for a moment and almost fell back. Seth grabbed his arm.
“I’m going to need your help,” Dale said. “Maresol’s, maybe therapy too.”
“Anything you need,” Seth said.
“Why?” Dale asked. “Why are you helping me? Janet? Malik?”
“It’s my rebellion against the assholes of the world,” Seth said with a shrug.
“Like your stepdad,” Dale said. “O’Malley.”
“Yes, exactly like O’Malley,” Seth said. “Plus, I can.”
He shrugged.
“There used to be a time when people helped each other,” Seth said. “When we all believed that we would get there only if we got there together. I guess I still believe that.”
“But you’re already ‘there,’” Dale said.
“Maybe,” Seth said. “Maybe there’s a better world when we are all happy, or as happy as we can be.”
“I’d like that,” Dale said with a nod.
Seth smiled.
“Come on,” Seth said. “Ava’s waiting.”
They went out into the living room. Seth stood back while Claire and Ava fussed over Dale. He smiled at their kind care. Charlie arrived with pizza from his now-favorite place. Sissy and Ivan were not far behind. Seth went into the kitchen for plates.
“How is he?” Ava asked when Charlie was doling out the pizza.
“I think he’s going to be okay,” Seth said.
Ava looked at Dale and nodded
“I think you are, too,” Seth said.
“With certain help from you,” she said, picking up a stack of plates.
She kissed his cheek, and they went to join the others.
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-two
Just a Monday
Monday morning — 7:11 A.M.
“Tink?” Heather asked through the bathroom door.
“I’m almost done!” Tink yelled. “Then you’re taking me to school, right?”
“Can I come in?” Heather asked.
“Why?” Tink yelled though the door.
Heather rolled her eyes. Tink was the nicest, kindest girl every moment of the day except when she was getting ready.
“I’m getting ready!” Tink yelled.
Heather crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. She supposed it wouldn’t kill her to wait for Tink to get out of the bathroom. After all, she was immortal. Then, again . . . Heather sighed and turned back to the door.
“Tink!” Heather said and pounded on the door.
“What?” Tink asked. The girl yanked the door open. “Can’t I have even a moment to myself?”
“No,” Heather said.
Tink was so surprised at Heather’s response that she jerked to look at her. Seeing Heather’s grin, Tink smirked. Heather waded into the heat of the bathroom. The fan was going full blast, and Tink had a little fan blowing the steam out into the garden. Heather put the toilet seat down and sat down.
“Yes, mother,” Heather said when she was settled. “What could you possibly want from me this morning?”
“Bite me!” Tink said with a laugh. She leaned forward to put her mascara on. “But really, is it really too much to ask to have the bathroom for twenty minutes in the morning?”
“Twenty minutes?” Heather asked.
“Very funny,” Tink said. She wiped a smudge from under her eyes. “Did you want to tell me I’m doing my mascara wrong?”
“No,” Heather said. “You have your own unique style, which I like.”
Tink scowled. She wouldn’t admit it, but Heather’s make up techniques had changed the way she looked completely. Gone were the dark zombie circles around her eyes. No bright lipstick. Tink thought she even looked a little pretty.
“Did you want something?” Tink asked. “Or do you just want to piss me off?”
“I need to talk to you,” Heather said.
“What?” Tink asked.
“You know how you were going to go to New York City?” Heather asked.
“In twenty-three days and four hours,” Tink said.
When Heather didn’t say anything, Tink’s eyes flicked to her.
“Well . . .” Heather said.
Tink turned away from the mirror to look at Heather.
“You didn’t buy the ticket,” Tink said. “And now they’re a billion dollars, and I can’t go.”
“No,” Heather shook her head. “You know we bought the tickets. We used the money from the home improvement loan.”
Tink scowled.
“You were with me with I bought them,” Heather said.
“Then, what?” Tink asked.
“Charlie’s home,” Heather said. “He flew in late last night.”
“He is?” Tink asked.
“Dale’s having a hard time,” Heather said.
“Charlie said Dale kind of freaked out,” Tink nodded.
“Dale wanted to come home,” Heather said. “Since the trial’s over, Charlie thought he’d come home with Dale.”
“Oh,” Tink said.
Tink picked up a hairbrush and tugged it through her curly hair. Sandy had made her thick, curly hair just barely manageable, but the morning hair brushing was still a battle. Too much shower fog, and her hair was frizzy. Too little, and it clumped together. Heather got up and took the hairbrush from Tink. She gently moved the brush through Tink’s hair.
“How do you do that?” Tink asked.
“Practice,” Heather said. “Are you disappointed about Charlie coming home?”
“No,” Tink said. “Not at all. I’m excited to see him.”
“What about New York?” Heather asked.
“Oh, I can’t go now?” Tink asked with a grin.
“You’d want . . .” Heather started.
Tink laughed. Heather grinned.
“Sissy still lives there,” Tink said. “Can we save the ticket and I can go at break?”
“I don’t see why not,” Heather said.
“When does Charlie get back?” Tink asked.
“Well . . .” Heather said.
Heather didn’t say anything else.
“Wait, he’s here?” Tink asked.
Heather nodded. Wearing only her bra, underwear, and unbuttoned shirt, Tink ran out of the bathroom. Charlie was standing next to the door and talking to Tanesha. Seeing Tink coming, Tanesha stepped aside. Tink threw herself at Charlie. Half little kids and half adults, Charlie and Tink were talking at the same time until Charlie planted a kiss on Tink’s lips.
“Okay, none of that,” Blane said with a smile. “Let’s eat. It’s Charlie’s first day at the Marlowe School. He needs our help getting enrolled. No underwear at the table!”
He pointed to Tink’s underwear. She scowled and looked at Heather.
“Why’s he going to school?” Tink asked. “He was going to the online school.”
“This seemed better,” Charlie said.
“Can we walk home together?” Tink asked.
“Can you put your skirt on?” Blane asked.
“Your fitting for Jill, Honey, and Sandy’s big wedding is after school,” Heather said. “Brides this morning. Bridesmaids this afternoon.”
“I brought my tux from New York,” Charlie said.
“I’ll drop Charlie to get the first round of tooth implants after I drop you and the other girls for your fittings.”
“What about you?” Tink asked.
“We’re going this morning with the brides,” Tanesha said.
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“No underwear at the dinner table,” Blane repeated.
“Tink!” Mack squealed.
Having stripped off his shorts, Mack danced by in his white briefs. He squealed with laughter and ran around Tink and Charlie.
“I’ve got him,” Heather said.
Mack ran past a wide-eyed Jabari, standing on the landing of the basement stairs. Jeraine nudged his son forward. Still facing forward, Jabari looked back and up at Jeraine for a moment and then back at Mack. Jeraine gently encouraged Jabari forward. In a flash, Jabari was off. He stripped off his shorts and caught up with Mack. Jeraine took off after him.
The two toddlers squealed with laughter and ran the circuit from the hall through the kitchen, out into the living room, and back. The adults tried to keep up but the toddlers were slippery. Jabari and Mack would wiggle away and dance around in their underwear.
Tink looked at Charlie, and he nodded. Tink stepped into the middle of the stream so quickly that Mack ran right into her. Charlie plucked Jabari from the floor. The toddlers tried to squirm away, but Charlie put Jabari on one shoulder and Mack on the other. The boys were laughing so hard that Heather and Tanesha were able to come up from behind and get the boys’ shorts back on.
“Go ahead,” Heather said to Tink.
Tink slipped into the bathroom and got dressed at lightning speed. When she got out, everyone was sitting at the dining-room table.
“Sorry about New York,” Charlie leaned over to say.
“Later,” Tink said. “When we’re on break.”
“It’s a date,” Charlie said with a smile.
“Welcome home, Charlie!” Blane said.
“Good to be here,” Charlie said.
Tink looked at Charlie and knew he meant it. She smiled. He reached for her hand and pulled it toward him.
~~~~~~~~~
Monday morning — 8:11 A.M
Fin came down the stairs from the second-floor apartments to the Castle kitchen to find Jacob and Honey working at the kitchen table. He stopped at the edge of the room and waited. After a few minutes, Jacob looked up at Fin.
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