by M. A. Lee
I had come for war and I just made sure they knew the battle was about to begin.
“Do you have a death wish?” Chuck asked, eyeing me carefully.
“No, but whoever burned down my clubhouse sure does,” I said, holding my fists tightly at my sides. I could feel my nails digging into my palms and I was sure blood was about to run down my hands.
Smiling, Chuck only nodded. “I heard about that, damn shame,” he laughed again.
“Sure is,” I said again, my lips curled up in disgust. “That’s why I am here, it’s time to talk about what happened but I’m really not in the mood for talking,” I said right before I swung my fist and started a war.
17
Ivy
It had been four hours since Jameson left me standing in the street. Hearing him tell me he loved me had been the most powerful moment of my life. I wanted to tell him I loved him, too. To jump into his arms and show him how much I truly, deeply, and madly cared for him. But I couldn’t. He had raced away leaving my heart behind in the dust.
He had chased me down when I was bound and broken. I had been done believing in love and giving myself to another person. But then, he showed up one day and made me break down all the walls I had built. Now, I feel so alive, but for how long? How can this last forever when Jameson can just walk away so easily?
After calling an Uber I went back to my apartment and waited for Lacy to get home. Her trip with Drake had unexpectedly been canceled due to the fire and she was upset. When Lacy arrived, we were both a mess. Our eyes were red from crying and our faces were smudged with makeup and snot.
We hugged and held one another on the couch as we waited anxiously for our phones to ring.
“Everything will be ok,” Lacy tried to soothe me.
“I don’t know,” I cried. “You should have seen the anger in his eyes. He was so upset,” I said, shuddering as I reflected back on how Jameson looked when he left me.
“You don’t think…” Lacy’s words trailed off. She couldn’t bring herself to say what we were both fearing.
We had fallen asleep sometime after midnight. Awaking the next morning only brought on more distress. Now we were both worried after not hearing from the guys. We tried to start our day, but our stomachs were too upset to eat, and our nerves were too fried to go to class or study. After lunch, we finally got our first sign of relief.
I heard my phone ring and Lacy and I both jumped to answer it. Putting the call on speaker, I answered.
“Hello, Jameson,” I yelled.
“It’s Micah,” I heard him say.
I felt defeated as my hopes spiraled down to the pit of my stomach.
“Where is Jameson?” I asked.
“Where is Drake?” Lacy yelled over my shoulder.
“They are fine. We found Chuck and his guys at their local bar. Jameson went after Chuck again and it was a pretty bad fight. Thankfully, the cops came and broke it up. Jameson was arrested. Brody and I just bailed him out and are now at Drake’s apartment. It sustained some damage from the fire, but it is ok.”
Hearing that the guys were ok, even if I didn’t like the circumstances sent relief washing through me. “I need to see Jameson,” I said.
“I will bring him over to see you soon. Let me get him home and cleaned up. It was a rough night,” Micah lightly chuckled.
I guess sometimes you just have to laugh when you can’t cry anymore.
“What about Drake? Can I see him?” Lacy asked, his bottom lip shaking as tears threatened to spill again.
I could hear commotion on the other line. “Lacy, baby. I’m here. Get here when you can, please,” Drake said, his voice longing for comfort.
Crying, Lacy tore the phone from my hands. “I am on my way now. I will help with whatever you need,” Lacy said before throwing the phone back to me.
She ran around the apartment and grabbed her keys and then left without so much as a goodbye to me. She didn’t even change or put on fresh make-up. She must really love this guy.
“Lacy left. Bring Jameson when he is ready. Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked.
Micha sighed. “Right now, we are just working with the police. They didn’t arrest Chuck because they don’t have any proof it was him who caught the bar on fire. We have to call the insurance company and see if it is possible to rebuild. Just your support would be huge. The guys and I only have one another,” Micah said, and I heard his voice shake.
“You are wrong, you have us now,” I said as I ended the call.
Not knowing when Jameson would arrive, I took a quick shower and changed into a pair of jeans and a red shirt. After fearing I had lost Jameson, I knew that it was time to push myself and show Jameson how much I truly loved him. I would just have to wait for him.
18
Jameson
I knew I was wrong.
Hell, I had spent most of my life being wrong. But, I knew what I had to do next was the right thing. I had to see Ivy. I had to be with Ivy. I had told her I loved her in the most fucked up and twisted way imaginable and I had been a complete asshole for walking away afterward. I owed it to her now to talk to her.
Every part of my being wanted to turn around and run back to her. To put her in my arms and kiss her and hold her and tell her I loved her until I couldn’t talk anymore.
Instead, I drove away. I let my anger get the best of me and I had paid the ultimate price. But now, I knew I was doing the right thing by fixing everything with Ivy. She deserved better than me but I sure as hell prayed, she would continue giving me second chances. I would spend the rest of my life on my hands and knees begging her to forgive me if she asked me too.
I would do anything for Ivy because I loved her.
She was my world.
She was my heart.
She was my twin flame, my eternal being that I wanted to spend forever with.
Now, I just had to show her how much she meant to me. I knew that once I got her back, I was going to get a new tattoo—two flames with our names inside. I wanted her on my body permanently. Which was insane for me since I had never given a second thought with any of the other countless girls who were nothing but a good time, but with Ivy, I wanted it to be right. She deserved that.
“Here, you need another ice pack,” Drake said as he offered the ice to me.
I nodded as I placed the freezing pack to my left eye. I had been a fool to go to Chuck’s alone, but I wasn’t in the right state of mind. Thankfully, my brothers hadn’t been too far behind me. They were able to help break up the fight before it went too far.
Drake didn’t say anything, but I knew he could see the regret swimming in my eyes. Well, my swollen eyes, but still it was there. I had anger inside of me and I knew my brothers didn’t understand it. We had all lost our parents and our gramps. We had all lost the bar-- and I knew it probably meant more to Drake than to the rest of us since he spent the most time there and had made it his livelihood, but still, there was still anger blooming inside of me and it finally broke free and blossomed into a full-on inferno.
Walking in, my other brothers entered the house too. They had all come and bailed me out of jail after I called them and told them what had happened. After I jumped Chuck, someone driving by had called the police and they had shut down our war pretty quickly. I got a couple of good hits in, but one against an entire army isn't very good odds.
Seeing them all here, I knew something was up. I found a seat on the couch and nestled in, preparing myself for a long talk.
“Jameson, what were you thinking? If we hadn’t have followed you, do you know what could have happened?” Brody asked. Initially, I had wanted a brother to go with me, but I had lied and said I just needed to ride.
“I was thinking I needed to do something. I wasn’t thinking straight- I couldn’t see past my own rage,” I admitted as I closed my eyes and allowed the ice pack to take effect.
“That’s your problem, Jameson. Man, you can’t see past yourself. You need to
get a hold of your anger before you lose everything. This could have been a lot worse. You are damn lucky Chuck isn’t pressing charges against you,” Drake said, as he slammed his fist against the coffee table.
We all jumped at the noise and my eyes shot open. “Why would he press charges against me? He destroyed our clubhouse!” I bellowed out as I sat up straight.
Brody and Micah watched with a strange curiosity.
“This is getting way too intense. I’m getting us a beer,” Micah said as he retreated to the kitchen. He had never liked conflict and had always been quiet, I had always liked that about him.
Drake turned his attention back to me. “I know, but we have to settle this a different way. You going after Chuck is only going to stir up more problems. We have to do this the right way. The Raven way,” he finished as he seemed to calm down a little.
Lacy came bounding through our door and rushed over to Drake’s side. Watching them embrace made my heart sink a little further. I needed Ivy right now.
Micah returned, and we all began to nurse our beers as none of us dared to speak. It was Brody who finally broke the silence.
“What is your plan then?” he asked, turning to me instead of Drake.
As the oldest, Drake had always been who we looked to in times of trouble. He was the closest thing we had left to a father now, but now, Brody was looking to me for an answer. And, all I could do was answer him with honesty.
“First, I plan on getting Ivy to forgive me. After that, everything else will fall into place.”
And with that, I put my beer down and asked Brody to drive me over to Ivy’s. It was time that I finally did something right in my life.
19
Ivy
An hour later, I heard a knock on my door. Opening the door, I spotted Jameson with his hands at his sides. However, my eyes locked on the black and purple bruises on his face and the cuts on his hands and arms. He was a mess, but he was my mess.
“Jameson,” I breathed and pulled him into my apartment. I hugged him fiercely.
Stepping back, Jameson stared at me without saying a word. Without warning, he cupped my face in his hands and crushed his mouth to mine. His lips seemed to be molded to mine and I couldn’t force myself to remove them long enough to breathe.
Sparks of electricity shot throughout my body as Jameson lifted me up and began to carry me back toward my bedroom. My legs went numb as I wrapped them tightly around his waist and the heat radiating from my body could have sparked a wildfire. His tongue pushed open my lips and invaded my mouth with a hunger so intense I let out a small moan. The smell of his sweet and musky scent made me delirious as the walk down the hall seemed to take forever.
Crashing down on my bed, my hands quickly began loosening the button on his jeans as I struggled to kick his pants down to his knees. His hands roamed from my neck and then gently tugged my shirt as he quickly lifted it over my head before making his way down to my black lacy bra. Taking a moment, Jameson released his grip from my lips and he began to admire my now bare chest. Only the moonlight filtered in through the window blinds and the glow seemed to illuminate his beautiful face. As he watched me carefully, I took the opportunity to remove the rest of the fabric on his body so there wasn’t anything between us now.
Tugging on his jeans, Jameson removed them in one quick movement that had me giggling before he crushed his lips back down on mine.
Jameson’s hands began to roam down my neck and to my waist as he placed small kisses over every inch of my trembling body. As I allowed my body to be taken over by Jameson, I pushed away any fears of heartache and decided to just enjoy this moment while it lasted. I knew we needed to talk at some point, but right now, we also needed this connection.
Crashing his lips to mine, Jameson allowed his tongue to push past my lips. Once inside my mouth, I began to suck on his tongue, in a slow rhythm that drove me insane. My body throbbed with the need to please him as I continued my slow taunt of his mouth.
Jameson’s eyes grew wide as he gazed at me. I knew my actions were driving him wild, and that was exactly what I wanted to do Now, that I found myself in love with Jameson and allowing myself to let him take me, I wanted to push my boundaries and let him in all of the way.
As his hands roamed over the most sensitive parts of my body, I allowed a loud moan to escape from my lips. I arched my back and threw my head back as I inhaled a breath.
“I needed to hear you moan, to cry out my name,” he growled between kisses. “I’m so sorry. I just need you.” His lips continued to trail down my stomach as his hands slipped inside of my wetness. The tension inside of me was growing as his fingers began to trace my insides, readying me for the next move of pleasure.
Once the tension grew to be too much, Jameson positioned himself to take me completely. I was sure he would thrust himself into me, in a rage of sexual desire, but instead, he chose to take his time as he moved inside of me. As he penetrated me, my body seemed to absorb every inch of his hardness. I could feel him reaching every inch of my sex and as our bodies began to move in rhythm, our breaths became long and jagged pants of pure ecstasy.
The way our bodies collided and moved was like we were following a constant rhythm. The act alone felt like we were dancing to a sexual and sensual tune created by our needy bodies and souls.
I had never felt so aroused and yet, craved more and more. I felt as if I would explode if I didn’t get more of him in every way possible. My hands tightened around his waist as I continued to pull him closer. I could feel myself reaching the height of our song and as I let out a loud yell, I allowed my body to release. Pure adrenaline shot through me as Jameson felt my release and continued our song of desire. As he continued to move inside of me, I could feel him inching his way toward the final note of our tune. Jameson let out a growl as he reached his final peak of intensity and then fell on top of me, his breaths coming out in uneven waves.
“I love you,” Jameson breathed, as he turned his head to face me. His jagged breaths were causing his stomach to rise and fall, and I was mesmerized by the act. Allowing my fingers to trace his form, I smiled.
“I love you too, Jameson,” I said.
The shock seemed to register over his face, almost like he wasn’t sure if he heard me correctly.
“You do? Still after everything I did?” he asked, a smile forming on his bruised lips.
“Yes. I have been so worried about you. I wish you would have let me help you. Please, don’t ever run away from me again,” I said.
Gently stroking my cheek, Jameson looked into my eyes. “I never thought I would meet a girl like you. I never dreamed someone like you would walk into my life and make me feel like this--so complete. You are everything I ever wanted, everything I needed, and everything I thought I would never have,” he stated as he leaned over and kissed me again.
“Jameson, stick around. I promise I will show you that together we can be everything we both want and need.”
Rolling back over, Jameson was hard as he thrust himself back inside of me and gave me another round of mind-blowing bliss.
We fell asleep later as the twilight of the night began to settle in. And as Jameson wrapped a sleepy arm around me, I couldn’t help but smile and think this is what heaven must be like.
20
Jameson
Love.
Love had always been a strange idea for me. I guess I never knew there could be this intense and world-altering love that I now feel for Ivy.
Sure, I love my brothers. I loved my parents. But what I feel for Ivy goes beyond that family bond. With her, love is forever. Love is spiritual.
Rolling over in bed, I watch as the morning sunlight glows all around Ivy making her look like an angel. The covers just barely cover her stomach and her breasts are on full display for me. With her wild hair sprawled out on her pillow and her face so relaxed and at ease, I have this yearning to just starr at her all day. She is so beautiful, and she is all mine. Sighing, I just watch
her as she sleeps.
Before meeting Ivy, I would have thought watching anyone else sleep was strange. Something only those sick stalker-types would do.
Now, I completely understand their sick desires.
Gently stirring, I watch as Ivy’s eyes open and a smile creep across her features as she catches me red-handed watching her sleep.
“Good morning. Were you watching me sleep?” she asks, like she had read my mind.
Laughing, I sit up and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. The movement of my face quickly reminds me of the events from the previous night.
Pain shoots through me and as I look down at my own hand caressing Ivy’s face, I see the cuts and bruises that are a nasty reminder of what I had done. What I could have done.
Noticing my pained expression, Ivy carefully reaches out and takes my hand in hers. Inspecting my wounds, she leans down and places her soft lips to my knuckles. I watch in complete awe as she kisses my cuts and bruises, as though her lips alone can heal me.
At this moment, I would swear they could.
“Ivy, I really fucked up,” I say as I shake my head.
“Ok. You messed up. Now, we fix it,” she says, with so much confidence and belief in me, I almost feel tears threatening to escape my cold eyes.
“Why do you have so much faith in me?” I question, not sure if I even believe in myself the way she does.
“Because I love you,” she says with a slight chuckle. As though she couldn’t understand my line of thinking.
“You truly are incredible,” I say, ignoring the pain and taking her in my arms.
“We are incredible,” she says as she places her head against my chest.
Those words get lost in my mind, replaying over and over like a mantra.
We are incredible.
21
Ivy