He ran his hands down his face, but finally looked at me. In a voice I’d never heard before, he said, “Just history repeating itself, son.”
This time, my legs did weaken, so I stepped over and sat on the couch. Looking up at him, I asked, “What do you mean?” He slid his hands in his pockets, let out a deep breath, and told me a story that made me almost call him a liar to his face.
I sat there and listen to him tell me a story that I couldn’t reconcile with the man who was standing in front of me. With the woman who he worshipped, day and night. With the partnership I’ve seen with my own two eyes. No way would my father ever do something so heinous to my mother.
He fucking worshipped her.
But then, hadn’t I just done the same thing to Lake? Rather than hunt her down and demand answers, I had believed someone else’s manipulations, and let the pain of her supposed betrayal call the shots.
And then, there was the fact that I wanted to punch my dad in the face for having ever treated my mother like that. But that quickly gave way to thoughts of Lake’s father and how he’d feel, knowing what I’ve done to his daughter.
I dropped my head and ran my hands through my hair. “Fucking Christ,” I muttered because I really had nothing else to say.
Just then, I could hear Mom’s footsteps and I looked up to see her glancing around the room, taking in the broken lamp.
She let out a soft sigh. “Ramsey…” Dad wrapped his arms around her so tightly, I feared he was going to snap her in half.
I also had to look away because, when she returned his embrace, the bond between them threatened to choke me with regret.
After Dad let her go, she came and sat down next to me. She eyed me as she asked, “I take it he told you?”
I stared at my beautiful mother and wondered about all the things I didn’t know about my parents. “Yeah, he did,” I told her. “I…I don’t know what to say.”
She gave me a soft smile. “There’s nothing to say, Ram,” she replied. “While I’ve forgiven your father, this hit a little too close to home, and I just needed a moment.”
“Because you’re mad at me?”
She shook her head. “No,” she said. “Because I’m disappointed with you. But, also, because I was identifying with her, and I can’t be here for you if I’m on her side.”
“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?” That was really the only issue here.
Again, she shook her head. “No, Ram,” she said brutally. “I don’t think she will.”
“But…but you forgave Dad,” I pointed out.
“I did,” she agreed. “But that was because I was damaged enough to still love him afterwards.” Wow. She sure wasn’t pulling any punches. “What your father and I have has never been healthy, Ramsey. But it is forever.”
I looked back and forth between my mom and dad. “So, that’s it? I’m just fucked?”
“Does she love you?” Dad asked.
I shook my head. “No,” I admitted. “I fucked it all up before she could fall in love with me.”
“Do you love her?” Mom asked.
“I wouldn’t have set out to destroy her if I didn’t, Mom.”
“Then you let her go, Ramsey,” she said. “Don’t hurt her any more than you already have.”
“I can’t do that,” I told her truthfully. “I can’t, Mom.”
“If that’s the case, this is the one time I don’t think I can back you, Ram,” she said, breaking my fucking heart.
“Why?”
“Because if she wasn’t damage before, she is now,” she replied quietly. “And you’re the one who damaged her.” And with that, Dad lost his shit again.
Chapter 36
Lake~
I had kept my promise to Eden and had slept in yesterday. I had even spent time with my parents, and it’d been nice. Hanging out with them had gone a long way to ease their worrying about me. We’d also had a follow-up by the police, asking me if I’d remembered anything more, but I haven’t. The last thing I still remember was telling Curt to leave me alone before Ramsey showed up and kicked his ass.
Ramsey.
I couldn’t stop thinking of him and I still couldn’t make the pain in my chest go away, and I felt stupid for it. I felt like the worst kind of idiot to be still thinking of him.
He wasn’t worth it.
What he’d done was unforgivable.
And I wasn’t that girl. I wasn’t weak. I didn’t have self-esteem issues. I couldn’t be bought by his money or swayed by his stunning looks.
Not to mention, he’d been with someone else within hours of washing his hands of me. And that exchange had told me she wasn’t just some random Windsor gold-digger. That girl mattered to him, and with the way he had defended her and with the way she had stood by his side the entire time, it made me wonder if I’d been the ‘other girl’. Had he really been slumming? Had they been broken up? Taking a break? Had I been revenge or something cold like that?
And never mind how beautiful she was. That dark hair paired with those amber eyes was a stunning combination. Though she looked to be younger than a senior, there was no denying she was a beautiful girl. In comparison, the slumming comment had a ring of truth to it.
But I also couldn’t put the entire blame on him, though. That moment, right before he had claimed me for the first time, I had told him I’d rather experience him than regret him. And while I was regretting him something fierce, there was no denying I’ve experienced the real Ramsey Reed Jr. at his best and at his worst. Of course, I was assuming this was his worst when it probably really wasn’t. Humiliating me at a party was child’s play in comparison to what he was capable of with the backing of his brother and parents. The Reeds were a dangerous lot.
There was also no denying that I was probably in love with the sonofabitch. Why else would my chest hurt the way it did if I weren’t? If I weren’t in love with him, hurt wouldn’t exist right now. Humiliation and anger would be the only emotions still with me a week later. Not to mention, what kind of idiot falls in love with a cruel psychopath in a matter of two weeks?
That’s why I was out at the Lapis inlet, taking pictures again. I had avoided this place last week when I had started taking pictures again, but I still wasn’t connecting with any of my subjects, so desperation brought me out here.
Wondering what I was missing with the last five shots, I stared down at my camera, clicking through the images, when I heard footsteps rustle within the fallen leaves on the ground. I didn’t have to look up to know it was him. Just like before, I could sense him, and that was further validation that I was fucked when it came to Ramsey Reed Jr. and what I felt for him.
I went back to taking pictures, even though I knew it was pointless to ignore him. However, I didn’t know why he was here, and I wasn’t going to ask. Of course, he could be here to tell me to leave. After all, I was on one of the hillside sections of Sands Cove.
After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, apart from the shutter of the camera, I finally asked, “Are you lost?”
My heart shattered just a little more when he replied, “No. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.”
Self-preservation kicked in, and I pushed his response out of my mind. I kept right on taking pictures as if it weren’t destroying me to have him so close.
It wasn’t long before he spoke again, though. “What’s it going to take?”
I wished for numbness, but my heart was thumping painfully against my ribs. That’s what the roughness of his voice did to me. It wasn’t fair that he could still make me feel anything for him besides anger. It wasn’t fair that his voice and nearness could still affect me. I didn’t like knowing that there was a part of me not opposed to forgiving him.
But I pushed that all aside.
I kept taking pictures. “For what?”
“For you to forgive me,” he said, and I barely managed to hold in the heartbreaking cry that threatened to erupt.
I stopped with the
pictures, drew in a deep breath, and turned to face him. He still looked as beautiful as he always had, but darker somehow. His hands in his pockets, his back straight, his chin up, and his eyes like piercing daggers, he looked like a caged panther.
A caged panther dying to break free.
I lifted my camera and started snapping pictures of him, and seeing him through the lens, he was still the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
And I despised myself for connecting with this particular subject.
I loathed that he was so captivating.
“You know, people think evil is supposed to be this dark, ugly thing,” I told him as I snapped picture, after picture of him. “But it’s not.” He stood there, silent, and let me take my fill. “Evil is the most beautiful thing in existence, I think. How else would we fall prey to it, then? If evil came to us in its true form, we’d run scared. We’d run frightened. We’d run as fast as we could and never look back, don’t you think?” I didn’t let him answer. “Evil needs to be breathtaking in order to lure you in. It needs to be seductive to hook up. And it needs to be powerful to hold you in its grip.”
“Lake-”
I lowered the camera and stared into those deep brown eyes of his. The eyes that always stared down at me like they could see all my secrets. “And you are still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen,” I told him. “The most beautiful, dangerous, lethal thing I have ever seen.” I lifted the camera and started snapping pictures again. “Too beautiful to capture, yet too irresistible not to try.”
“Stop it,” he said, his tone quiet, yet forceful.
I lowered the camera and looked at him. “How’d you find out?” There was only one reason he’d be here, and that was because he’d, somehow, found out the truth and knew I hadn’t cheated on him.
“Eden.”
I thought about that, and I realized I wasn’t surprised. Eden was the best kind of friend, and I knew it was only a matter of time before she snapped. I knew I looked a mess. I knew I was pushing it. I just thought she’d say something, but she hadn’t. She hadn’t said a word about talking to Ramsey.
“Not that I have proof, but I still don’t know why he did it,” I told him, and I wasn’t even sure why I was telling him anything at all. Maybe it was part of the vindication. “I don’t remember much, but Eden said he kept yelling that, if I knew what it felt like to be drugged, I’d forgive him.” Ramsey eyes flared right before they slid away for a second.
Guilt.
When his gaze met mine again, I knew. I choked out a pathetic laugh as I shook my head. “Of course, you know why.”
“Erica hates you,” he said simply. “Jealous of you, actually.”
“Which is stupid,” I remarked. “Anyone with a pair of working eyes can see that.” Again, I wasn’t talking myself down, but Erica was undeniably beautiful, even if she was ugly on the inside.
“She went after Metcalf as soon as you guys started dating,” he went on, ignoring my statement about Erica. “He kept turning her down, so she got creative.”
“She drugged him,” I surmised, and that would make sense and fall in line with Curt’s claims of not remembering anything. “He’d been telling the truth all along. He really never meant to cheat on me.”
Ramsey nodded. “My guess is he found out or, for whatever reason, she told him, and he got it in his head that you’d understand and forgive him if you experienced the same thing.”
Anger came swift and potent. “How do you know this?”
“The same way I know everything else,” he answered.
“When did you find out he’d been drugged?”
“The same day I drove you and Eden home from school,” he confessed.
The implication shook me to my knees.
Ramsey’s been manipulating me from the very beginning, and now he was asking me what it would take to forgive him.
But fool me once…
I looked at the boy who I gave my heart and virginity to and answered his question. “I never want to see you again.”
His brows shot downward. “What?”
“You asked me what it would take for me to forgive you,” I reminded him. “That’s the answer.”
Ramsey immediately started shaking his head. “I can’t do that.”
“Then I guess you’re not forgiven.”
“Anything but that, Lake,” he replied, and to most people that would sound like begging, but it wasn’t. Ramsey Reed Jr. would never beg for anything. It came out like the demand it was.
“That’s all I want,” I insisted, even though it was a lie. The pathetic part of me wanted to go back in time and erase this ugly misunderstanding, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. Instead, I went for fighting fire with fire. Or, in this case, pain with pain. “Unless you can find a way for me to go back in time and keep Curt from going to that party where Erica drugged him. Can you do that? Can you give me back my boyfriend who cared about me? Who loved me?”
The tick in his jaw was prominent. “No. I can’t.”
“Then just leave me alone,” I repeated. “That’s all I want from you.”
He shook his head. “I can’t do that, Lake.”
“Well, then, I don’t know what to tell you,” I told him. “If you can’t send me back in time where I was happy with Curt, and we were just a simple couple, enjoying our senior year of high school together, then I have no need of you.”
“Even if I could, I wouldn’t do it,” he admitted. “I’ll never let you end up with anyone else, besides me.”
I stared at him until I couldn’t anymore. This was a game, and he was way better equipped to play it. Emotions were my handicap here, and I was smart enough to realize it.
I turned to walk away from him, but I wasn’t two steps in, when his voice stopped me. “They’re all back,” he said. “Your pictures, your application projects, all if it. It’s all back on your backup drive.”
Pain and fury were warring inside my soul. You didn’t unjustly lock someone up, and then expect them to thank you when you let them out.
Ramsey stole my photos, then gave them back as if they were still the same pictures as before.
But they weren’t.
Now they were just tainted images that I could never look at again without being reminded of him. But, then, I suppose that could be said of every picture I’ve taken since then, too.
I turned back around, and while his face was giving nothing away, I didn’t bother to attempt to hide my disgust and anger. “I hate you,” I seethed. “I hate you.”
“I know,” he replied calmly. “But I can’t let that matter.”
“That’s all that matters,” I argued. How could he not see that? I mean, this wasn’t the first time he’s told me he didn’t care if I hated him or if he had to fight with me every day as long as I was his, but he couldn’t be serious about that, right? Who in their right mind would want to be in a hostile relationship like that? Who in the hell wanted to be in a toxic relationship?
And just when I thought I couldn’t hate him any more than I already did, he said, “No, it’s not. While it might matter, it doesn’t matter as much as how much I love you, Lake.”
The blow of his ill-time words was so powerful, I stumbled backwards.
I shook my head. “You don’t get to say that to me,” I told him, proud my voice wasn’t an emotional mess. “Especially, since we both know it’s not true.”
“It is true,” he insisted. “I’ve been in love with you since the night I caught you.”
Rage flowed at my naivety. Where I thought Ramsey was a master manipulator before, that was nothing compared to this. Instead of accepting that he was wrong and just moving on, he was pulling out the big guns because he wasn’t one to lose.
My chin came up and I asked, “What about your girlfriend?”
His head jerked back, and the bastard actually had the audacity to look confused. “What girlf-” Realization dawned in his dark gaze, and he shook his head. “I can
explain tha-”
“I don’t want an explanation!” I yelled. “I want you to leave me alone!”
“I can’t!” he roared, and the thunder in his voice sent birds fleeing from the comfort of the tree branches. He was disturbing the beautiful peace here. “I fucking love you!”
Pain was like a bomb exploding inside my chest and I couldn’t take it anymore.
I turn and ran away from Ramsey again.
His voice yelling my name behind me, I ran and ran until I saw my mom’s car. Faster than I ever thought possible, I got in, locked the doors, and ignored the pounding on the window as I started the car on the first try.
My foot hit the gas and I truly didn’t care if I ran him over or not. I sped out of the clearing and didn’t look back.
I was weak enough that, if I did, I might turn back.
Chapter 37
Ramsey~
It took three days for me to finally get my shit under control enough to handle shit intelligently. Despite my mother being disappointed in me, I knew she still had my back. I still had every faith in my parents that they’d get me out of trouble if I found myself in some bullshit.
However, that didn’t mean I wanted to put them in that position if I didn’t have to.
So, after three days of reining it in, I was able to get my hands on Metcalf. It hadn’t been that hard to do, either. Maddox had tapped into Erica’s most active social media account and had sent Curt a message to meet her. Mad had made sure to make it cryptic enough that Curt’s curiosity would compel him to meet up with her. Especially, when he added the hint about drugging Lake.
We met up where I had taken care of Childress, and I parked my car to make sure he was blocked in. Which was a good thing, because when he’d seen it was me driving up behind him, and not Erica, he’d gotten back in his car to drive away.
And now, shattering glass was echoing through the clearing and the surrounding trees. Curt’s pleas were falling on deaf ears as I grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him out through the broken window of his car.
“I’m sorry!” he yelled. “I’m sorry!”
Resurrecting the Enemy Page 18