That agreed, the gavel comes down.
Chapter Five
Beth
I beam when I see Mel walking into the office on Monday morning. She’s smiling and looking relaxed and happy. Well, she tied the knot with Pyro two days ago, and discovered she was having his baby. Certainly, a lot to be happy about.
Although it’s silly after such a short time, and she was living with him already, I can’t help the inane enquiry spilling out of my mouth, “What does it feel like to be married?” There’s a glow on her face which suggests she and Pyro have continued their celebrations all weekend.
She could just have answered briefly, but to my surprise, she pulls up a chair. “Skull did a number on me,” she starts. She doesn’t need to tell me that, I already know. “When he walked out and never came back, it was hard, but I could accept he was dead. When I found he was alive, well, that broke me. It proved I wasn’t woman enough to keep him.”
“He was already married,” I point out, gutted Mel thought she wasn’t good enough for the bastard.
“I know, but still. It shook me, you know? It affected my relationship with Pyro.”
“You didn’t expect he’d do the same thing and disappear, did you?” I hadn’t considered that. Anyone could see leaving Mel was the last thing Pyro would voluntarily do. He was devoted to her, even when he thought she’d never be his. Had Mel not seen that?
“Stupid, I know. He proves how much he loves me every day. But yes, I’d lost all confidence in myself. But being married to him? Again, it doesn’t make sense, marriages fail all the time, but it shows a commitment in the eyes of the world. So, to answer your question, marriage has made me more sure of myself.”
I smile broadly at her. “Being pregnant probably helps too. Jeez, Mel, Pyro was possessive even when the child you were carrying wasn’t his. He must be over the moon with your news.”
“We both are.” But there’s a hesitancy in her voice.
“You’re worried something will happen?”
Her head bobs up and down. “If I had a reason for why I miscarried last time, if I could be certain it was stress that had caused it, then I’d feel more relaxed. But I don’t. Yes, I’m worried.”
“If I can do anything to help…” I don’t know what I could do, but Mel’s my friend and I want to support her. “Anything,” I stress, genuinely wishing I could ease some of her burden.
She waves her hand dismissively. “Enough about me. Now I want the dirt on you and Ink. I saw you going off with him.” She winks. “Did you get the biker-loving you wanted, or did you chicken out?”
I’ve been thinking about that night all weekend. “I can’t deny it, can I, Mel?” My mouth curves up, then down. “Turns out you were right. He was only after a good time. But,” I say fast, “I’m totally alright with that.”
Her lips press together as though it was what she’d expected, and indeed, how she’d warned me, but still she asks, “Did you make any plans to see him again?”
I shake my head. “No, he made it clear from the start it was only going to be one night.”
She narrows her eyes as she looks at me. “Are you sure you’re okay with how it turned out?”
She’d call me out if I try to lie. I sigh. “Mel, you’ve known me for years. Ink caught my eye, and you did your part introducing me. But all Ink wanted was sex, he was quite clear on that. I accepted his terms. Maybe I did have thoughts I might change his mind, but he left me in no doubt there was no chance. If we did get together again, it would only be a repeat, no emotions involved.” Well, not on Ink’s part at least. “It is what it is, Mel. Ink is a once only man. He’s been there, done that. I can’t complain, the experience was worth it. He left me satisfied, and I’ve got memories to use when, well…”
Mel lightly slaps at my arm and I don’t need to complete the sentence.
Then she gives me a long calculating look. “It’s harder for women not to think with their hearts.”
My shoulders rise and fall. “What can I say? We see the whole package, they don’t. Ink only slept with me as I told him he could with no demands, to push for more now would only prove me a liar.”
“You know,” she says after a moment, “I was surprised you went through with it. After I took you over to him, I expected to find you hot on my heels demanding to know why I just left you.”
“You know me too well,” I grin. “Let’s just say tequila had a lot to do with it.”
“You weren’t drunk,” she says, sharply. “I’d never have…”
“No,” I touch her arm lightly. “We’d been steadily drinking all day, but eating too, so I was buzzed, but not falling on my face out of it. I was sober enough to make decisions.”
Mel looks relieved. “A confidence boost?” She doesn’t need my nod to confirm it. “People get you all wrong, don’t they, Beth?”
My lips press together. Even when I was a kid I was ridiculed; Christ knows how cruel children can be to someone who’s different. Boys didn’t like me towering over them, girls thought I was odd. Kids pick on the weakest, and though I was big, I was far from strong, and my rapid growth caused problems with my health. Grown folks expected me to be the adult in the room, even when I was with kids my own age. I’ve always felt a misfit, never rush to try and fit in, instead biding my time finding out who to trust. Approaching a stranger is so far out of my comfort zone, I’m not surprised Mel thought it strange.
Mel stands. “I suppose I better get back to my own desk and start work. Oh, by the way, it’s Demon’s birthday next weekend. Vi’s throwing a surprise party for him. She’s asked me to bake a cake and other goodies. Why don’t you come along?”
Her invitation surprises me, so much so I narrow my eyes. “You’ve always kept me away from the compound before.”
She exhales air loudly. “Only because I know what they’re like. Pyro’s brothers are set in their bachelor ways. I knew if you offered, they’d take. I didn’t want you to be hurt. But now, after Ink, you understand that and know what they’re like. And in at least one case, intimately.” She waggles her eyebrows, making me giggle. “So, keeping you from them is a lost cause. You never know, Ink might see what he’s missing.”
Hmm. I thought that might be behind it. “You’re barking up the wrong tree there, Mel.”
She nudges my arm with her elbow. “Oh, come on. It’s worth a try.”
Might he see me and realise he fell madly in love with me after one night? No, don’t go there. There’s no chance and anyway, I’d be a fool to go back again when it would only be sex. Once I might escape with my heart, but twice? No chance.
“It’s the prez’s birthday,” I start, hesitantly, looking for an excuse which won’t betray my thoughts. “They won’t want a stranger there.”
She nudges me again. “Hardly a stranger. You got to know the girls well at my wedding. I know Vi, Steph and Jay all like you. I can check with Vi if you want, but I don’t see a problem inviting you.”
I did get on fine with the women who were Mel’s other bridesmaids and had a few good laughs along the way, especially when I’d gotten to my knees so I wouldn’t stand out in the photographs. It’s not as though I’d be among people I don’t know. I bite my lip. “Okay,” I say at last. “But talk to Vi. If she’s onboard with the idea, I’d love to come.”
“Beth, that would be great.” She sounds really excited as she bends down and kisses me on my cheek. “I love my two worlds mixing.”
I suppose she would rather than having friends at work and a completely separate life with Pyro and his brothers. But after Mel had gone to her own desk, I quickly change my mind. Damn, why did I say yes? Now I can’t let Mel down. Though Mel, herself, asked me to go, what if Ink thinks I’ve wrangled an invite so I can chase him? I start hoping Vi will say that she wants Demon’s party to be club and family only.
If I hadn’t gone with Ink at the wedding, I’d have leapt at the chance of going to the compound to get a deeper insight into the biker li
fe. But I had gone with Ink and seeing him again is going to be awkward. Isn’t it? Only if I make it so.
I stare over at Mel who’s already got her head down hard at work. Between now and then I’ve got to put thoughts of Ink right out of my mind. If I go to the party and he’s there, I’ll greet him politely, of course, but will make no reference to how we got together on the night of Mel and Pyro’s wedding. Most of all, I won’t show for a moment I’ve got any regrets.
Maybe another biker would catch my eye? Do they all make love—fuck—like Ink? Perhaps taking another for a test drive would get Ink out of that rather annoying place he seems to have cornered for himself in my head.
Just for a moment I let myself imagine being a girl like that. A girl who could divorce her heart and jump from one bed to the other just for sex. Oh, yeah, I know Ink’s very familiar with those, his club calls them sweet butts.
Problem is, I’m not sweet butt material, and there’s only one biker I want. Damn it. I wish Ink had never caught my eye at Mel’s wedding. Maybe I’d be better off dreaming what he’d be like, rather than knowing. However much I try to fool myself, there was more to our encounter than sex. I felt we had a connection. If it hadn’t been on one side only, it would have been Ink inviting me to the club and not my friend.
I start to wish Mel had never suggested the party, because there’s a devil on my shoulder whispering in my ear that perhaps if Ink sees me again, he’ll want a repeat of that night. Huh, the angel on my other shoulder replies, more likely, he’ll simply give me one of those chin lifts the men do, and then ignore me.
Far worse, Mel warned me bikers aren’t shy, and I’m likely to see them fucking in public. How would I feel if I saw Ink with one of their club girls?
Maybe that’s just what I need to stop thinking about him, I even dreamed of Ink last night.
It would break my heart to see him with someone else.
One minute I want to go, the next I don’t. When Thursday comes around, and I see Mel approaching my desk, I know I’ve made up my mind. I’m not going. I’m just opening my mouth to tell her when she gets in first.
“I was right. Vi said she’d love you to come along. She took a liking to you, Beth. She said she can’t wait to see you again. Steph’s looking forward to seeing you again too.” She falters. “Well, hear you in her case I suppose. And Jay said to tell you hi.” She stops at last, her face beaming.
How can I get out of this now?
“I don’t know,” I start. “I’ve been rethinking this.”
“Overthinking it,” she says sharply and intuitively. “Look, forget about Ink. Just come and have a good time with friends. Vi will be so disappointed if you don’t turn up.” She then turns on the guilt. “Pyro’s keeping Demon out of the way, so we can set up the party as his surprise. I was banking on you to help me carry the stuff that I’ll have baked.” And then, I swear, she turns on her puppy dog eyes. “Please?”
How can I refuse? I’ll never turn down a request for help from family or friends.
I can’t. “I’ll come.”
She hugs me tight.
That’s how I find myself Saturday afternoon helping Mel load enough cakes and desserts to feed an army into her car. As my eyes widen when she brings out tub after tub, she laughs.
“This will all disappear. They’re hungry men.”
“They must be,” I mutter under my breath, helping her carry out another load.
When we arrive at the compound, I don’t see many bikes and wonder where they’re stored, until Mel enlightens me. It’s luckily a mild day for once, and the men are all out on a run taking advantage of the weather. It’s just the women and prospects inside.
I feel relieved at my slight reprieve, so follow her in. Vi organises the men wearing cuts with the word prospect on the back and who I discover are called Beaver and Karl, to bring in the stuff Mel’s brought. The clubhouse is already decorated with balloons, and a banner’s waiting to be put up.
Having exchanged hugs with Vi, Steph and Jay, I point to the banner. “Where do you want that?”
“I thought above the bar.”
No sooner are the words out of Vi’s mouth, I’m pulling up a step stool that’s already been brought in and pinning up one end of the ‘Happy Birthday’ sign.
“Be careful,” says Mel.
“No worries, I got this.” I don’t mind heights, nor balancing precariously on rickety old steps.
Once they know I’m happy to pitch in, I’m given other tasks as they take advantage of my height, and soon the room starts to take shape. In the centre of it all is the amazing birthday cake that Mel has made.
“Oh, no, you don’t!” I catch hold of Theo as he toddles toward it with his hands outstretched, and I chuckle as I swing him up in my arms. “Rascal.”
“Thank you.” Vi’s grateful comment is heartfelt.
Mel sighs with relief that the toddler hasn’t managed to swipe his fingers through the lush chocolate icing. I understand his thwarted desire, having to restrain from doing the same thing myself.
Theo’s wriggling in my arms, trying to get down, obviously having figured out he’s got a woman with no experience of children holding him.
“I’ll take him,” Mo, Demon’s mom and Vi’s mother-in-law, calls out. “Come to Gramma, Theo.”
“You need eyes in the back of your head,” Sindy says. I remember she’s married to Buzzard, their treasurer.
“Now I’m glad I never had any,” Jeannie remarks, shaking her head as Theo starts having a tantrum at being denied cake. Bomber’s her man I recall.
As I look around at the room, which does and doesn’t fit what my imagination had conjured up—yes, there’s a bar, a pool table as I’d seen in my head—but the tables and chairs and comfortable looking sofas are matching and not that old if I’m any judge. The walls look freshly painted too.
“It’s not bad,” I remark to Mel. “I must admit I expected it to be rougher.”
“They had some trouble about a year back. Had to rebuild some of the walls and replace stuff and redecorate. Jay will tell you all about it, I wasn’t here then. Apparently, it wasn’t as nice as this before.”
That explains why the decoration and furniture still looks clean and fairly new.
I find I’m having fun, pitching in and working alongside these friendly women. It’s light work and we have a few laughs. The club whores don’t appear to be here. I begin to hope they’re not invited, and perhaps after all, I won’t have to watch Ink fooling around.
We’ve just finished setting out all the food when from outside there’s a loud roar of bikes. I go to stand by Mel as we look expectantly toward the door. After helping with the preparations, I’m anticipating seeing the surprise on their prez’s face.
Men flood in, but the star of the show is missing, as is Mel’s man. I realise fast that this was planned, and Pyro is probably delaying him outside as the other men quickly divest themselves of their winter riding clothes and gather around in a circle.
They’ve just got themselves organised when the door opens again.
“Happy fuckin’ birthday, Prez,” rings out all around me, a deafening roar from the men.
“What the fuck?” Demon stops dead. Then rounds on Pyro, his eyes narrowing as he spits out, “There’s nothing fuckin’ wrong with your bike, is there?”
Pyro grins and shrugs, then makes a beeline toward the woman standing by my side.
“Jeez.” Demon’s still stunned. “Brothers. Ladies. What can I say? I didn’t expect this. Where’s my ol’ lady?”
Vi has a big grin on her face as she walks over to her man. He takes her lips in a way that makes me swoon.
Having been made to feel welcome, having worked alongside the other women, I feel comfortable and relaxed enough to put my fingers to my lips and let out a loud whistle in appreciation.
I shouldn’t have done that.
I’ve never been able to hide in a crowd. The eyes of an even taller Ink catch mine
from the other side of the room.
Chapter Six
Ink
I’ve spent this whole week fucking the whores, but none of them have left me satisfied. When they go from my bed, I have an unfilled hole inside me. Oh, they relieve my cock, but something is missing.
I tried nipple clamps on Bella when I was fucking her over the pool table, they didn’t look right, and she complained they hurt her, so I’d quickly taken them off. Double-teamed Breezy and Sheila with Mace, but what was usually exciting had me feeling bored. Even their mouths didn’t seem right around my cock. Titsy, well, when she was discarding her clothes, I almost told her not to bother. When I brought Tulia back to my room, I went through the motions but wasn’t into it.
Though I didn’t want to admit it, I couldn’t get a certain woman out of my fucking head.
What I can’t understand is why. I may have had off days in the past, but it’s been a week now. Why aren’t the whores providing me with what I want?
I only come when whoever’s face under me morphs into the one of the girl I fucked in the hotel last Saturday night.
Time, I tell myself over and over again. I just need time. Memories fade, and so will my obsession with the woman I don’t want. If there’s one lesson I’ve learned, it’s never go back for more. Not with a woman who doesn’t understand that while I like to fuck, I’ve nothing else to offer. I don’t want an old lady, can’t ever see myself settling down. I live the life of a biker for a reason—I enjoy the freedom.
The ride out was good today, a chance to clear my head, to let the wind blow the cobwebs away. Still cold as hell, yes, but nowhere near freezing and the day was dry at least. What I knew was an excuse to get Demon away from the club was welcomed by us all. Hopefully now we’re coming out of the other side of winter, we’ll be able to ride more.
I, of course, knew what to expect when we arrived back at the clubhouse. The only person who didn’t had been Demon. I felt pleased for Vi, her plans had gone like clockwork. I’d had to smother my laughter when Pyro asked the prez’s advice about a non-existent rattle on his ride.
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