Ink had later enlightened me simply that it had all gone as planned. Connor has wiped his slate clean as Caruso would be getting a pat on his back for getting eight kilos of heroin off the street. While at first he was annoyed that he’d returned to find Phil Foster dead, when Connor was able to offer up Alder and what he’d learned about how the drugs came in from Mexico, he agreed Connor had done enough. As a result, the feds are going to help him get settled with his new identity in a new town. I was relieved that his new papers would be officially prepared. While the Satan’s Devils had suggested they’d sort out his new identity themselves, I didn’t really know Cad’s skills or connections, and had worried there’d be a chance his new identity might not stand up to scrutiny.
Of course, Mom would have to change her name as well, but she was keeping her first name, and just changing the last to Forster. They’d agreed to use the name Connor had already become.
The next few days pass in a whirlwind. Ink and I spend a lot of time at my house, packing up bits Mom wants to take. There wasn’t a lot apart from her clothes and her sewing machine of course. Steph, with her knowledge of Wit Sec had advised her to leave personal possessions behind, anything that might connect her with her old life. So, I became the custodian of the family photographs. I found myself not envying her.
Of course, we also attend the funeral that we’d somehow found time to arrange.
It might not have been my brother in that box being solemnly carried into the crematorium, but I am in mourning.
This is the last formality before Connor and Mom leave for pastures unknown, and this is the first occasion since the decision had been made that I’ve allowed myself to think how much I’ll be losing. I’m going to miss them both. Over the past few days, I reconnected with my brother and have regained more of the relationship we had when we were younger. As for Mom, she’s been there all my life, and what’s a girl supposed to do without her mother? She won’t even be at the end of the phone. All contact is prohibited.
The coffin is symbolic of the loss that’s about to happen in my life, and I’m not acting as tears start to fall as I listen to the brief service. The officiant talks about my brother’s life, a complete fiction about a young man with so much promise taken from us all too soon. Mom sits beside me, squeezing my hand as if she too is sad for how her life will be changing.
Ink’s sitting beside me and stands with everyone else as we watch the coffin soundlessly slide away until it’s hidden from our view. Mom turns to me with tears in her eyes. Then we’re in each other’s arms and weeping.
“My sincere condolences.”
The deep voice makes us jump, and I feel myself tense as mom turns.
“You’ve never been sincere about anything. I doubt you’re starting now.” Mom steps back from me and rounds on the speaker, quietly hissing, “What the hell are you doing here, Alder?”
I’m proud of her in that moment, she might be small, but she’s standing up to the man. I look around for Ink, but he’s no longer here.
Mom continues, pausing only to dab a tissue at her eyes, “Have you any idea who did this to my son?” She waves to where the coffin is now hidden behind curtains. In a moment, or perhaps when we’re gone, it will enter the furnace and whoever’s body is inside would be gone forever.
“I don’t know.” My attention snaps back to Alder, his deep voice sounding chilled. “But I’ll do what I can to find out.” He too stares at where the coffin has disappeared. “It’s a fucking shame Phil couldn’t be here. He was close to Connor.”
So close he condoned him being beaten and killed. And Alder need look no further than a mirror to see who was responsible for the supposed death of my brother.
“Any news on Phil’s accident?” Mom asks politely, her tone suggesting as he’d lived on the wrong side of the law, his death was predictable and while she could cry an ocean of tears for her son, she wasn’t going to waste any on her dead ex.
Alder appears slightly more interested in who caused Phil’s death, than Connor’s. “It was no accident,” he growls. “Someone took him out and cost me a fucking fortune when he did it. I’ll find out who’s responsible, eventually. I always do.” It sounds like a half promise, or a half warning. “He, or they, stole from us.”
I start to feel uneasy, and look around for Ink, but he’s still nowhere to be seen. Has he made himself scarce, so Alder doesn’t notice him? I’ve no proof, but I’ll always wonder if the Satan’s Devils had a hand in Phil’s death. At times like this, maybe keeping club business from old ladies makes sense, I’d rather not know. The bigger worry is whether Alder knew the Satan’s Devils had the drugs Connor had stolen from him, but so far, there had been no indication whether he does or not. Phil’s dead, and his close confidants died along with him. It’s quite possible he doesn’t know, but of course, still a risk. I hope Caruso is able to arrest him soon.
Alder’s staring at the closed curtains, his eyes narrowed suspiciously, then he turns back to us. “Well, it’s been nice getting reacquainted Patsy. Unless you hear from the dead, I doubt we’ll cross paths again.” He moves forward and threatens in a low voice, “No one gets away with stealing from me, not even a ghost.”
“Hey, babe, sorry about that.” Ink comes up and puts his arm around me. “Needed a piss. Friend of the family?” He nods toward Alder, seeming unconcerned.
“No friend of mine,” Mom says.
Alder raises an eyebrow, then, with a smirk, walks smartly away.
“Where have you been?” I turn to Ink. “Pissing, really? That was Alder.” I emphasise his name, stressing it was a bad time for him to make himself scarce.
He leans in and speaks into my ear, “I know who he is. That Alder’s here suggests he’s suspicious. Must admit some bucks just changed hands, and the coffin is in the cremator now.”
“Don’t they always burn them immediately?”
“Just wanted to make sure, Beth. Didn’t want to take a chance of Alder having the opportunity to examine it. Now, though, he can’t.”
That had been quick thinking by Ink. Now the body has been destroyed, Alder has no proof Connor is alive.
“Just who did we cremate today?” I ask as we get into the car. “I feel so bad that we might have taken someone away from family.”
“Nah,” Ink turns before he starts the engine, “he was a homeless man who was killed by a car when he stumbled drunk across the road. No living relatives found. Look at it this way, he got a send-off he didn’t expect, tears shed for him, nice words said. Probably more than he expected or deserved.”
“Are you worried about Alder?”
He shoots me a glance. “Why would I be, Beth? Neither I, nor the club, have anything to do with the man.”
Chapter Forty
Beth
Things happen fast after the funeral. Whether it was that Alder had turned up, or whether there was no point in delay, the final arrangements are quickly made for Mom and Connor to relocate.
I have no idea where, if either of them knows, they keep it to themselves.
I force myself to be strong, joking with Mom that I’ll be jealous if they’re heading into sunshine, as here winter seems in no hurry to give way to spring. It hits me hard after I spend a while talking to Mom, telling her I’ll watch out for her new designs on the internet, with some hints about the type of clothes I’ll want designed. When I realise I’ll be buying online from now on and not just popping upstairs to her sewing room, I have to leave the room to pull myself together.
I realise while she’s upset, Mom’s also excited. She’s given the best years of her life to raising her children, and now she’s got the chance to go somewhere new and start afresh. While I’m also beginning a new life with Ink, I can’t help but be a little envious that I won’t be the one sharing her adventure with her.
But again, I let none of this show. I force myself to pretend I’m completely okay with their move.
I keep a smile on my face as the car is packed and
then tell them to take care.
When Karl slides the gate open and the car turns out into the road, Ink holds me to him tightly as though fearing I’m going to run after it.
“It’s for the best,” I turn to tell him, still with my lips curved upward. “Connor will have a fresh start. Mom too. She’s still young enough to start a new life. Perhaps she’ll find a man of her own.”
He doesn’t buy my fake pleasure. “They’ll be fine, Beth.”
“I know they will,” I reply. But I can’t stop my head turning back in the direction where the car had driven away.
“It’s okay to be upset, babe.” Ink’s hand is caressing my back.
“I’m not upset. I’m happy for Connor and Mom. Connor will be safe.”
Ink gives me one of his intense stares, then his lips thin. “Come on. There’s a matter that needs to be resolved between us.”
What? My confusion must show as he takes a firm hold of my hand and leads me back into the clubhouse, across the main room, up those industrial metal stairs, and into his room. He locks the door, then turns with an eyebrow raised.
“Get naked.”
For probably the first time that I’ve met him, I’m not feeling aroused. I’ve kept my despair deeply buried, hoping he doesn’t know how empty I’m feeling having watched my family drive off. Them leaving was the right thing to do, it’s just going to be awhile before I can accept it. But I don’t want that to show. I have to be strong, the woman Ink expects me to be.
“Babe, take your clothes off.”
“Ink. I’m not…”
He pushes away from the door against which he’d been leaning. He comes into my personal space. “Trust me,” he says, softly. His hands go to the bottom of my sweater. “Lift your arms.” As he uses that commanding voice, I obey automatically, though doubting however skilled he is as a lover, that today I will be able to respond.
I stand, only helping as far as I lift my feet when he asks. Soon all my clothes are lying on the ground, and he’s fully clothed. My mind’s miles away, already thinking of everything I hadn’t said to my mom. And now I’ve lost my chance, maybe forever.
I don’t object as he takes my hand and leads me to the chair, but when he pats his lap, my eyes widen in horror and I shake my head. “No.”
My reaction doesn’t seem to take him by surprise. Pulling me down like he had once before, he traps me with his strong muscular legs. I struggle, but within seconds there’s a sharp sting on my right ass cheek, followed by one to my left.
“Stop,” I cry out. “Ink, no.”
But he doesn’t stop.
It’s not erotic. It hurts. He continues. There’s no getting away from this, I go limp, and then the tears start.
“That’s it,” Ink murmurs, rubbing my sore ass. “Babe, you needed to cry. You’re keeping everything bottled up and that’s not good. I’ve watched you holding it together for days, but you don’t need to keep it up. Just let it out. Give it to me, let me help you with your pain.”
He stops the spanking, pulls me up and holds me tight in his arms, his hands now smoothing up and down my back. I’m ugly crying, letting out everything that I’ve held back, covering his shirt with snot and tears, snorting and hiccupping, but he doesn’t seem to mind.
“Cry, babe. Cry. That’s it, that’s good.”
The sobs keep coming as though they’ll never stop. Then I’m wailing, “Why did she choose, Connor? I need my mom.”
“She didn’t choose Connor because she wanted to, Beth. You’re strong, you’re in a good place. She respects you, respects the choices you make. Connor? Well he’s shown he needs a guiding hand.”
I hadn’t even understood how much I felt her leaving was desertion, but Ink’s more patient than I would have thought, and takes time to help me break things down and put them back together in a way that’s not so painful. Slowly his words change, and he’s painting a picture of a future we can build together. Letting me see that I can branch out on my own, and while I won’t be able to see or talk to her, my mom will always be there, out there, somewhere, supporting me.
I don’t know how long I cry, but slowly Ink’s supportive words get through. Eventually my tears dry, and I use several tissues to try to clear my blocked nose. When he sees I’ve calmed, he lifts me up and carries me to the bed. It’s then I notice the sky has darkened outside. I must have been weeping for hours.
I’m tired, exhausted, and thankful Ink had been so patient with me. I hadn’t known how much I need to face all the emotions locked inside head on. It wasn’t just only the loss of my mom, but everything that’s happened over the past couple of weeks. Something needed to break, that Ink had seen that was just another good reason to love him.
As I watch him make himself ready for bed, the sight causes a kernel of arousal to start growing inside as he reveals his muscular inkless body to me.
Seeing me watching, he smirks.
“That was extreme,” I tell him.
He doesn’t pretend not to know what I’m talking about. “Extreme times call for extreme measures, babe.” Naked, he perches on my side of the bed, his hand brushing back my hair from my face. “We’re going to be okay, Beth. You’re not alone. I’m going nowhere, okay? Any choice to be made, I’ll always choose you.”
“Are you coming to bed?”
He chuckles softly. “I am.”
That night, Ink takes his time. No ropes or cuffs, no more spanking, erotic or otherwise, he just does everything he can to show how much he feels for me.
With my mind now accepting how things have turned out, even though I regret it had to happen, I fall into a dreamless sleep. I could have sworn I’ve only been resting a few minutes, when I’m woken.
“Come off it.” I roll over in bed, squinting as he pulls up the blind and lets daylight flood into the room. “What’s the time?”
“Time you got out of fuckin’ bed.” He laughs down at me.
I am so not amused. “Thought you knew me by now. I need coffee to function, babe.”
He raises his eyebrow and points to the cup sitting steaming beside me. I throw out my hand but it’s too far away.
“You really aren’t a morning person, are you?” He chuckles again, comes over, sits and places an arm around me helping me to sit up. Then he lifts and hands my coffee to me.
“When I’m not planning on going for a run, I’m not,” I admit. “And why have you woken me so goddamn early on a Saturday?” When I’ve now got to face the reality that I no longer have my blood family around me, I frown slightly, wondering where Mom and Connor are, and what they are doing today. Is it exciting for them? Or scary. A bit of both I expect.
His finger comes under my chin. “Hey, doll. Why the frown?”
I shrug.
“Your mom and brother will be okay.”
But he can’t know that.
Or maybe he can, I realise, as he goes on to say, “When I was getting you that,” he points to my drink, “Demon came in. He’s heard from Lost, the San Diego prez, and apparently, they arrived okay. The feds have got them a house they can move into temporarily.”
“What? How the hell do you know…”
“We might have suggested to Connor that he ask to go to San Diego.”
“And Caruso went along with that?”
“Sure. It’s far enough away, and location didn’t matter to him. As we’ve got a chapter there, our brothers can watch out for them without them knowing…” he breaks off and winks. “May even be able to tell you if Connor finds a nice bronzed California girl, or Patsy her own surfer.”
“I’ll get updates? Why didn’t you tell me before?” I sit up, excited. “Can I visit?”
“No,” he says sharply. “And the Devils won’t be involved. Look, Beth, Wit Sec is pretty damn good. Mostly, they only lose people when they bring themselves out of hiding. But Steph went through some shit, so we wanted to do what we could to make sure it all turned out right. You’re mine now, and part of that is looking o
ut for family.”
“You sure you’re not bringing danger to them if they’re linked back to the Satan’s Devils?”
“Won’t be a link. Lost and the boys down south know how to fly under the radar and anyway,” he takes my now empty cup from me. “How’s about you get up and showered and we get on with our day?”
He’s excited about something I can tell. Normally he’d wake me with his cock, or his mouth, but not today. But he’s bouncing on his feet with impatience. Must be important if it’s replaced sex as the first thing on his mind.
“Okay, okay,” I say, still grumpy. “I’ll get ready. But I expect my morning sex later.”
His hand curls around my neck in that possessive way I love. “You can use my cock any time you like, babe. I’ll sacrifice my own comfort to keep my woman happy.”
I grin. “Sacrifice, eh? But why not now?”
“Because, we’ve got places to be.”
Have we indeed? But my glare doesn’t work on him and he doesn’t enlighten me. He has got me intrigued. Enough so that I have a quick shower, blow drying my hair in record time, making a note to make a hair appointment to have my hair dyed again soon as it’s faded so much.
Once I’m ready, I comment I’m hungry, so we go straight to the kitchen. I follow Ink in, then come to an abrupt halt. Whatever’s going on must involve the whole club, I hadn’t expected this many people to be around.
“Beth, hi. I made cinnamon buns. You want one?”
The question distracts me from wondering why it looks like everyone’s here. Mel gets her answer by way of a gimme gesture, and soon I’m filling my mouth with the deliciousness she’s baked. I manage a ‘mmm-mmm’ by way of thanks and to show my appreciation.
Already showing how quickly he’s learned about me, Ink’s refilling my cup and passing another cup of coffee my way.
“Ready for your big day?” Ro’s voice suddenly booms. Then when Ink glares at him, he holds up his hands and says, “Forget I said anything.” Mel bats at his arm.
Ink's Devil: Satan's Devils MC Colorado Chapter #5 Page 41