by Ryan Michele
Drake and his fiancée, Kelsey, stood left of our mother. My mind drifted to our last Christmas with our father. It had always been a tradition of us kids loading up with Dad to go pick out our tree while Mom stayed home getting all the decorations ready and making cookies for us to decorate with icing. I sucked in a breath remembering it as though it were yesterday.
Mom would wear this red velvet Mrs. Claus inspired dress trimmed in white fur, and our father would don the matching Santa suit, stuffing a pillow under his jacket to give him the appearance of the big belly. He had the white beard, the gloves, the hat, and even wore big black leather boots to complete the look.
We’d all gather in the kitchen to decorate cookies and build gingerbread houses. My siblings and I all competed to see who’d make the best looking one. Though Dad would pretend to judge each one, we’d all get a little something for our efforts. Christmas had always been my favorite holiday.
We lined up much like we were now by the Christmas tree after looking at old photos and reminiscing about how excited we’d be to shake the presents. Dad set the timer on his camera and rushed to the right of Mom, nearly tripping over his feet on the way. Luckily he caught himself before crashing face-first into the beautiful tree.
My father had a tendency to have two left feet most of the time. It was one characteristic that made him adorable. Mom said that was why she fell in love with him.
She was a cheerleader in high school when his basketball team was playing against her school. He had the ball and made a run to shoot a layup, only his shoe had come untied. The goofball went sailing straight into my mother on the sideline. Mom said one second she was cheering “Miss It’, and the next she was flat on her back with Dad grinning down at her all flushed and sweaty, making goo goo eyes at her. After the game he asked her out on an apology date.
They had been inseparable thereafter.
“Everyone say Christmas!” Dad cried out right as the red timer started to flash rapidly.
“Smile,” my mom cooed, and the memory faded back to the recess of my mind.
I returned to the present, hearing Herbert let out his best “Ho, ho, ho.” I appreciated the effort, but it wasn’t the same. Christmas had lost its magic, or maybe I had.
However, this photo would be our mother’s Christmas card for next year, and I put on a cheesy smile for her benefit as the flash blinded all of us.
Blinking, white dots floated in my vision. I needed a drink, a strong one.
I loved my family, but they were a bit much at times. What family wasn’t?
Wine called my name, so I headed to the kitchen in search of it. The space faced the new backyard. Looking out the window and staring into the pit of darkness, I missed the comforting sight of our childhood treehouse. It always had a prominent place in my life, and now it was gone like all the memories it held.
I poured a glass of wine and breathed in the ambrosia scent before taking a swallow. It warmed me on the way down.
My father passed away my freshman year of college. His passing left a gaping hole in my heart. I’d been a daddy’s girl through and through, down to my core.
It hit us all hard, but in a way it brought us all closer. We’d always had ups and downs, but his loss was a stark reminder of how precious life could be and how fast it could be swept away.
“Ev, get in here,” Drake yelled for me from the living room. “I’ve got a surprise.”
A groan escaped. I adored my brother, but surprises weren’t on the top of my favorites lists. Most of the surprises in my life ended up being bad. Oh surprise, your dad’s dead. Oh surprise, you’re fired. Oh surprise, your boyfriend is dating your college friend. Yeah, surprises hadn’t been the best.
One could hope whatever this was would break the cycle and be something good. Positive. Lord knew we all needed that. I took another hard swallow of my wine and refilled my glass.
Trudging back to the family room, wine glass in one hand, I tugged my sweater, which always seemed to rise up my sides, back down as I went. Luckily, I brought another top and would be changing out of it very soon, now that the mandatory family photograph was out of the way.
The scene awaiting me looked like a Hallmark card.
Mom and Herbert were snuggled into his recliner, her on his lap, arms cradling his neck. They made a cute couple. There was no doubt in my mind he loved our mother. It was in his hazel eyes, when he gazed at her. His love for her shined bright like a beacon. I hoped one day I’d meet someone who would look at me with such longing and devotion.
Jess and Casey took up the loveseat, his arm wrapped around her shoulder, holding her tightly.
My brother stood in front of the tree with a wide smile on his face welcoming me.
His fiancée, Kelsey, sat at the opposite end of the sectional, so I plopped down on the other end to make use of the side table, setting my wine glass on a coaster.
Legs curled under me, I got comfortable and stared at my family when it hit me like a lead balloon.
I was the outcast, the runt if you will. The only one who didn’t have their someone special to share their lives with. Why it was this moment it hit, I had no idea, but I felt it all the way to my soul. I hated the emotions swirling in my chest. Ones of envy.
Mom had Herbert, who I admit didn’t really look much like a Herbert I had pictured in my mind. When she told me she had met someone and gave that name, I expected some short, fat, bald man, but in reality he was the complete opposite as in he was in shape and quite tall. Mom landed herself what some would call a silver fox. Herbert was an attractive man who took care of himself. He was active and doted on my mother as though she was a queen. I thought she’d permanently lost her smile when my father died, but Herbert revived her.
Jess had Casey. I swore the two of them were destined to be together. They’d always had a connection since we were kids. Jess met him in middle school when he protested about dissecting frogs. Jess joined him in his crusade to free the frogs, and the two of them landed in detention together. They’d been inseparable ever since. I thought they would be the ones getting married instead of Drake and Kelsey, considering how long they’d been together.
My brother met his fiancée when he stopped to help her change a flat tire on his way home from work one evening. Drake said it was love at first sight. One look at Kelsey standing in the pouring rain, and he knew she would be his forever. I wasn't sure if I believed in fate. Maybe I was too cynical.
My brother, who could be my father’s doppelgänger with his dark hair that curled around his ears, fanned out three red envelopes in his hands. “No one is to open these until I say so.” He smirked then winked at Kelsey. “One for you.” He handed one to Mom and Herbert. “One for you.” The next was given to Jess and Casey. “And for you, Ev.” Drake placed the final envelope in my grasp.
It didn’t hold much weight, so maybe a card?
“What are you up to, son?” Mom turned the envelope over and broke the seal, not fully opening it quite yet.
Drake strolled to the other end of the couch and sat next to Kelsey, curving his palm to her kneecap and giving her a squeeze. “As you are all aware, last Valentine’s Day, I proposed to Kelsey and thankfully she agreed to marry my lucky ass.”
“Language,” Mom huffed, but Drake smiled, and the rest of us laughed. She hated foul language as she called it.
“Open them.” As we did, he continued. “Our gift to each of you is an all-expenses paid cruise to St. Thomas where this beautiful woman will become my wife.”
“Oh how wonderful.” Mom clapped her hands together crushing the red envelope, a stray tear rolling down her cheek. “I’ve always loved weddings. Kelsey is going to be such a beautiful bride. Do you have your dress yet?”
“Yes, but I’m hoping you’ll come to the final fitting with me.”
Mom was over the moon with joy. Kelsey meant almost as much to her as Jess and me. Not to mention she loved watching those bridal reality TV shows.
“Y
ou know, not that I’m not grateful, but all that sunlight. Can you imagine the damage the UV rays will do to our skin? Not even SPF fifty will be enough protection. You know there are cruises to places like say Alaska,” Jess interjected.
“And do what? Pan for gold?” Drake shook his head, not happy with her antics. Jess loved her dramatics and always overreacted.
My thoughts immediately drifted to standing on the deck of a cruise ship with icicles hanging from my eyebrows while dressed in ten layers of clothing, including a heavy-duty parka, and being unable to lift my arms while Kelsey and Drake exchanged their nuptials.
Jess and Casey would run off on some quest to save the polar bears or something, leaving us all to our own vices.
I would die trying to get undressed to pee. Growing up it never failed. The very second I’d get my snow boots on the urge to pee would overwhelm me. I’d have to have Mom help me get undressed and go through the whole process again. It could totally happen again. It’d be my luck, no doubt.
“Everly?” my mother prompted, and I blinked. All eyes were focused on me. I blinked again, clearing my head of thoughts about freezing temperatures and polar bears, wondering why I was the center of attention. “What?”
“I said since you have a plus one, I want to pick your date,” Mom said with utter seriousness.
My stomach dropped to my feet, and the wine I’d consumed threatened to make a reappearance and not in a good way. Palms sweating, my mind raced with images of all the horrible dates my mother had set me up on over the years.
The guy she knew from work who it turned out had a warrant for his arrest for failure to pay child support. Then Kevin, who shouldn’t have been dating because he was in the twelve-steps program. Or Steven, who talked so much about his car I wondered if he wanted to marry it. There was no way in hell I was going to allow her to stick me with some crazy man for a week on a cruise. No way. She had the worst taste in men where her daughter, namely me, was concerned.
I had visions of nightmare dates from the past. I could only imagine what kind of miscreant weirdo she had lined up in her head for this trip.
“I’m seeing someone,” I blurted the words before considering the consequences.
“Who?” Jess asked, her brow arching up. If I was seeing anyone on a serious level, Jess would've known about it. We told each other things like that.
“You haven’t mentioned anyone?” Mom’s eyes narrowed on me, trying to catch me in my lie, but I was going for broke here. There was no way I could allow myself to suffer another one of her ill-fated set ups.
“It’s new.” I shook my head. “We haven’t told anyone yet.” I grabbed the stem of my wine glass as though it was my lifeline and took a healthy sip. The lies spewed from my mouth like diarrhea. The word vomit continued to rush out of me.
“I haven’t mentioned it because we’re still feeling things out, ya know. Modern dating is different for someone like me who works all the time.” I grasped at anything to get her off my back.
One lie led to two, and two turned into five as my foot went deeper and deeper down my throat. We hadn’t even set sail, and I already felt the waves pushing me down. I weaved a sea of lies, and eventually I would drown. My mother could sniff out lies like a freaking bloodhound.
But first, who in the world could I ask to stand in as my plus one?
“Well then. I guess that’s settled.” Mom sunk back into Herbert’s embrace like a deflated balloon rejected for her quest to find me a man she deemed a worthy and appropriate suitor.
“Time to open my gift next.” Jess jumped up and presented everyone with white envelopes. I was beginning to sense a theme and wondered if I was the only one who bought actual gifts everyone could unwrap. “Don’t get too excited. I’m not as fancy as Drake with that expensive trip, but Casey and I made donations on your behalf to charities we thought you’d love to support.”
“Thanks, Sis. Very thoughtful.” I glanced at the receipt while everyone murmured their own gratitude. The charitable donation was so Jess and Casey. I admired her passion. She stood up for what she believed in, and no one could test her beliefs.
I, on the other hand, had gotten everyone shoes. I couldn’t help myself. I lived for great shoes. At the moment, though, I was glad no one had interrogated me about my fake boyfriend, and I wondered if I could stage a break-up the day before the trip. That, however, would require a fake boyfriend. Something I didn’t have.
Something I desperately needed.
I needed a plan.
No, scratch that.
I needed a miracle.
Everly
Sometimes You Run Into People Who Change Your Life For The Better. They’re Called Bartenders
“What the hell am I going to do, Sam? I have like three weeks to find a stand-in boyfriend. I’m freaking out here.” I shoved a stick of gum in my mouth. It was a nervous habit, and I’d been anxious ever since my brother and Kelsey sprung the whole cruise destination wedding trip on us over Christmas. “I mean, a cruise to St. Thomas is a dream vacation, but I lied. We both know I don’t have any prospective boyfriends waiting in the shadows. And if I show up without a date, Mom will know I lied to her, and we both know how she reacts to being lied to. But if I give in and allow her to choose a date for me, it will be a total nightmare. I can’t go through another disaster date. Especially one that will last a week. Can you imagine? She’d probably set me up with a serial killer or something. My mother doesn’t know a thing about finding me a good man to date. It’s like her radar is totally whacked. You remember that Jason guy.”
Jason had to be the worst of the worst. The moment I sat at our table at the restaurant, he started trying to guess the color of my bra. After that, everything was a sexual innuendo to him. He legit asked me if I would be DTF. Down to fuck. I was no prude, but the guy was a total jerk and not someone I would let anywhere near my panties or lack thereof. I shuddered at the memory of him with his thick gold chain and bad haircut. Not to mention the overwhelming scent of cheap cologne that rolled off him in waves as though he’d bathed in it.
Samantha, my partner in crime and best friend, stared into her salad, shoveling a baby tomato and a crouton out of her way, then spearing a slice of cucumber as she mulled over my predicament.
“Did your mom say who she had in mind?” she asked, tossing the cucumber in her mouth and chewing.
“You know how my mom is. There’s no way I can survive another one of her failed matchmaking attempts. She’s the absolute worst at it, and if I tell her I lied … I’ll never live it down.”
“True. I’m thinking.”
I took a sip of my peach tea and scowled when she didn’t say anything. “Think faster.”
She chuckled, swirling her fork in the air. “What about that one guy, Henry, from the real estate place, Lewis and whatever real estate.”
A sigh escaped. “You mean the good-looking flirt whose photo is plastered on all the billboards. That’s going to be a big fat negative.”
“Why not?” She appeared puzzled.
My brows knitted. “Henry is married with two kids.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Seriously?”
“Yes,” I hissed, remembering learning that little tidbit of information. I felt so dirty for ever flirting back with him.
“How do you know he’s married? Are you keeping secrets from me? I’m your best friend. Dude, you’re supposed to tell me these things.” Sam was starting to get riled.
“Well, you remember that he invited me out for a drink?”
“You never told me you went,” she accused, and I smiled.
“Because I didn’t. I wanted to check him out online before I got there to, you know, see what his interests were so I could make conversation. Anyway, when I found his profile, I saw that his relationship status said married, and there were all these photographs of him and his wife and their two sons. One big happy family.”
“Shit,” she muttered.
I sat back in my
chair and flipped my hair over my shoulder. “Right. So you see, Henry isn’t even a candidate. I’m not a home wrecker. Nor am I someone to have sex with on the side. No. No and no.”
“Did you confront him? What did he say? I mean, is it possible they were separated?” She started firing questions at me in rapid succession.
“No way. I mean, he offered to buy me a drink, and maybe I read him all wrong, and he was only being friendly. I wasn’t going to embarrass myself and be all how dare you invite me out for a drink. Does your wife know? I haven’t completely lost my mind yet.” I laughed, and Samantha glanced at her watch.
“Good point. That would have been fun to watch, though. We should go.”
I checked the time on my phone. Shoot. My break ended five minutes ago.
Shoving my chair back, I capped the lid on my tea and shoved it in my bag. Samantha and I both worked at Boise Financial.
I held a position as a loan officer. My job was to look over financial applications for anyone wanting a loan for a mortgage or to buy a car, a boat, whatever. I had always been good at crunching numbers, so it fit. Plus I got to work with my best friend every day. She was a glorified personal assistant for my boss, but still we were able to do lunch daily, unless she accompanied him on a business meeting which was rare.
I tossed the remains of my sub in the trash, and Samantha followed behind me. We hustled down the street back to our building. I waved at the security guard posted by the reception desk on the main floor. He lifted his chin at us.
The elevator dinged, doors opening. Horrible classical music filtered through the speaker. The sounds meant to be calming only made me feel more agitated.
“It’ll be fine. We’ll figure this out. I promise.” My best friend seemed confident, but I felt anything but assured. Tucking her strawberry blonde curls behind her ear, she shot me her award-winning smile that could melt the coldest of hearts. “The right guy is out there. You’ll see.”
“Hmm.” I fought the natural urge to roll my eyes and started digging the file out of my bag that I needed to go over when I got back to my desk.