Compass

by Deborah Bladon

  I’ve wanted this since he walked back into my life, even if the desire was buried beneath a mountain of anger and grief.

  Just as we enter his bedroom, he turns to me. His gaze searches my face for something. I know what it is. He wants reassurance that I’m ready.

  He looked at me the same way the first time we made love.

  I wasn’t as nervous back then as I am now.

  “Are you sure?” he asks, the rasp in his voice touching every part of me. “If you’re not ready…”

  Darting up to my tiptoes, I cup the back of his head so I can kiss him.

  His hands circle me, tugging on my hips until I’m against him. The steely girth of his erection presses into me.

  I break the kiss, dropping my hands to the front of his sweater.

  “Take this off,” I whisper. “Let me see you.”

  He nods before he tugs the sweater over his head, tossing it onto a chair in the corner.

  A streetlight outside floods the room with a soft glow.

  I stare at his body.

  Everything is the same, yet it’s different.

  His chest is smooth. Tattoos or scars have never touched his skin.

  The freckles I remember dot his upper chest. The trail of hair that leads to the waistband of his jeans is just as tempting as it was when I first saw it.

  “It’s your turn,” he says, fisting his hands at his side.

  I know Gage. I know that’s how he tries to temper his need for me.

  When we lived together, I’d make him wait while I’d dance around him naked, telling him that I wanted to see him hard before I’d let him touch me.

  He would always laugh and point at his cock.

  I know he’s as hard in his jeans as he was every time I teased him.

  “I’ll help,” he offers, circling his finger in the air.

  I spin on my heel, bunching my hair into my hand. I hold it to the side, giving him access to the zipper that I struggled to do up at home when I was getting dressed.

  I shiver when he grabs the zipper pull.

  “I’ll be gentle,” he whispers into my ear, his breath racing over my skin.

  I close my eyes when I feel the zipper open. I don’t turn because I want him to slide the dress from my shoulders.

  “Katie,” he says my name in a rush as my dress falls to the floor. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

  I soak in the power of those words and the depth of need in his voice.

  “Turn around,” he urges with a hand on my hip. “Let me see you.”

  I move slowly, spinning back until I’m facing him. My hands fall to the lace waistband of my black panties.

  He rakes me, stopping to stare at the matching black bra before his gaze settles on my hands. “Jesus, Katie. You’re incredible.”

  Tears prick at the corner of my eyes. I’m not sad. I’m happy. I’m happier than I’ve been in five years.

  I’ve belonged in this man’s gaze, in his arms, and his bed.

  “Don’t cry.” He takes a step closer to me, his hand darting to my cheek. “Please, Katie, don’t cry.”

  I manage a smile that parts my lips. Trying to speak feels impossible at the moment. My voice is lost under what I want.

  I want him. I want to touch him, and kiss him. I want to feel him inside of me.

  I want to come around his cock, and against his lips.

  I want everything.

  His hands jump from my body to his. His eyes stay trained on mine as he unzips his jeans and pushes them to the floor along with his boxer briefs.

  I reach down and undo the front clasp of my bra. Sliding it from my shoulders, I keep my eyes on his.

  Before I can move to take my panties off, he’s on me. His hands circle me, his lips find mine and he spins me around. He lowers me onto his bed until I feel the softness of a blanket on my back and the weight of his body on mine.

  ***

  My breath catches somewhere in my chest when he slides the panties from me.

  A low growl escapes him. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

  I close my eyes to ward off more tears. I’m overcome with a thousand different emotions. They’re all too strong to contain.

  The lash of his tongue over my smooth cleft draws my ass from the bed.

  He pins me down, both hands holding my hips in place. “I need this, Katie. I need this so much.”

  I let go, feeling everything as if it’s the first time.

  He sucks my clit between his lips, biting it softly before he strokes it with the tip of his tongue, over and over again, just the way I want.

  One hand glides down my body until his fingers touch the most sensitive part of me.

  He knows what I like. Gage knows what will bring me to the edge, so he takes me there.

  He slides one of his thick fingers into me as he gives my clit all the attention it craves.

  I feel the burn of the approaching climax at the base of my spine, so I moan.

  I moan so loudly that he stops briefly to lick the entire seam of my pussy before he brushes his tongue against my clit sending me into the clutches of an ear-shattering orgasm.

  Chapter 39

  Gage

  I fumble with the condom package like I’m a first timer.

  I might as well be. I haven’t touched a rubber in a long time. Katie and I relied on her birth control after our first few months together.

  We were both clean, so we felt safe.

  The first time I was inside of her without a sheath around my dick, I came fast. It was fucking embarrassing.

  I remember the way her cheeks flooded with pink when she felt me pump every last drop into her.

  I came again, five minutes later as I watched her touch herself. She was wet from both of us.

  The second time, I got on my knees, pulled her close and came down her throat.

  I rip open the package and slide the condom on.

  My back is to her. I can hear her breathing. She came hard when I had my face between her legs.

  I needed more so I licked her to another orgasm, urging her on with my fingers and tongue.

  The second time was quieter but more intense.

  She shook beneath me, her hips bucked and she held fast to my head.

  My lips are coated with her taste.

  I lick them again, savoring it. It’s tangy and sweet. It’s everything I remember and more.

  “Gage,” she whispers. “Are you all right?”

  I’m trying to find the will not to blow my load the minute I’m inside her pussy.

  I turn to face her and it almost drops me to my knees.

  She’s on her back. Her long blonde hair is framing her perfect face. Her tits are full with hard pink nipples and every inch of her tall frame is smooth. She’s glowing.

  I close the distance between us with heavy steps until I’m on the bed, crawling over her.

  She giggles when my sheathed cock brushes against her hip.

  “You’re as big as I remember,” she gasps. “You’re the biggest...”

  I quiet her with a demanding kiss on the mouth. I don’t want to know anything about the men who have fucked her.

  I want to erase them from her memory.

  I plan on doing that now.

  I inch her legs apart, staring down at her body. I slide the tip in, savoring how it feels. “You’re so sweet, Katie. Your pussy is so sweet.”

  A deep moan floats out from between her lips. “You remember.”

  I remember how I’d talk to her while I fucked her. I’d tell her how good she felt. How deep I’d go. I’d whisper in her ear that she was tight and wet.

  I push in with a thrust, groaning when I’m buried deep within her.

  She grabs my biceps, her nails raking my skin. “It’s so much.”

  It’s not enough.

  I fuck her softly like this, so I can look into those hazel eyes, taking her to the edge with even strokes.

  My restraint breaks when she wigg
les beneath me trying to pull me closer. I take a kiss before her mouth is on my shoulder and her teeth break the skin.

  I growl at her. A deep-seated need to take more consumes me, so I flip her over, grab her hips and fuck her with reckless abandon until we both come.

  ***

  If I’m dreaming, I pray I never wake up.

  I fell asleep after I tied off the condom, tossed it in the trash, and got in bed next to Katie.

  My hand fumbles for my cock. I tangle my fingers in her long hair, guiding the pace as she sucks on my dick.

  Jesus, this woman knows what the hell she’s doing.

  My eyes bolt open as reality sets in.

  My Katie is giving me the best head I’ve ever had.

  I look down at the top of her head as it bobs up and down. Her tongue is sliding along the thick vein that runs down the side. Her hand is squeezing the base, urging me on.

  I fuck her mouth slowly, pushing my dick past the point where she used to gag.

  She effortlessly swallows me.

  It’s too good.

  It pisses me the hell off.

  I twist her hair in my hands, angry that she’s mastered sucking cock since we were together.

  I press my eyes closed, trying to chase off the regret that’s washing over me.

  I fuck her mouth, drawing a sound from deep within her.

  I don’t stop.

  “Tap my thigh if you want out,” I spit out between clenched teeth. “If you don’t, you’re going to swallow it all.”

  She nods and sucks harder.

  I throw my head back into the pillow and thrust up into her mouth over and over until I deliver on my promise.

  Holding her in place, I come down her throat with a heady cry of her name.

  Chapter 40

  Kate

  I know what’s bothering him.

  I’ve been watching Gage since I woke up. He was awake before me, sitting in a chair in his bedroom reading a book.

  It’s a mystery that I checked out of the library and read more than a year ago.

  “Spoiler alert,” I call out to get his attention.

  He tilts up his chin to look at me, a broad smile taking over his mouth. “Spoiler alert?”

  “The Colonel did it. It was in the library with a wrench.”

  He laughs, dropping his head back onto the chair. “You were always better at board games than I was.”

  “I read that book.” I tug the blanket higher, shielding my nude body. “I do know the ending.”

  “Keep it to yourself.” He drops the book on a small table next to the chair. “I’m two chapters away from finding out.”

  “I can give you a hint,” I tease. “It’s not who you think it is.”

  “How do you know who I think it is?” he questions back, a sly grin on his mouth.

  “I know how your mind works.”

  He contemplates that, studying me from where he’s sitting. “You always did.”

  I wish that were true. If I had that much insight into his thoughts, I might have been able to see what he was going through the day he broke off our engagement.

  I’m tempted to bring up what I know he’s feeling.

  When we were having sex, I almost blurted out that he has the biggest cock of any man I’ve ever slept with. I don’t know where the urge to say it came from, but I’m glad he stopped me.

  I could feel the shift in him when I took him in my mouth.

  He was asleep and I was craving the taste of him, so I slid down his body and circled the head of his dick with my lips.

  His touch was tender at first, but when I took him deep, it shifted.

  He was rough and demanding.

  In the moment, it spurred me on more. I wanted to please him. I wanted him to feel the same pleasure he’d given me earlier.

  Once it was over and I’d swallowed his release, I watched him get up from the bed.

  I saw the way his shoulders tensed and his hands scrubbed his face.

  He knows that I’ve had experiences since we’ve been apart.

  I’ve been with men.

  I’ve chased after the same feeling I had when I was in bed with Gage, but I couldn’t find it until now.

  I take in a deep breath and shake away the urge to delve into a deep conversation. “What time is it?”

  He pushes to stand. He’s wearing a pair of black boxer briefs. I can see the outline of his erection. He’s aroused. I am too, but I need to get to my store.

  “Does it matter?” He runs a hand down his chest to his stomach.

  “I have to get to work,” I say on a sigh.

  “You can’t be a little late?” His fingers trail along the waistband of his boxers. “Let me have you one last time before you leave.”

  Picking up his phone from the nightstand I glance at the time. “I have a shipment arriving in an hour, so I guess if you make it quick…”

  “All I need is enough time to make you come,” he growls. “Sit on my face. Ride me until you scream.”

  I’m on top of him the second he’s on his back.

  I lower myself onto his face. Closing my eyes, I get lost in all of it; his tongue, his lips, his teeth and the sounds he makes as he eats me.

  Chapter 41

  Gage

  “The smile on your face is brighter than the sun.”

  I flash Gus an even wider grin. “Today’s a good day.”

  “Every day is a good day,” he comments, lowering onto the bench that faces the East River. “Life is what you make of it.”

  I can’t disagree. “You’re a wise man.”

  “You’re a happy man.” He points at me. “Tell me why that is.”

  “Katie,” I say without hesitation. “She makes me happy.”

  “As happy as my Lois made me.” He taps a finger on his chest. “I remember what it felt like to smile about a woman that way.”

  I glance out at the river. “We’re in a good place, Katie and I.”

  “You can’t ask for more than that.” His voice softens. “Although most of us do. We don’t realize how good we have it until it’s all gone.”

  I turn to face him, raking a hand through my hair.

  I took off for a run after Katie got dressed and rushed out of my apartment.

  Her cheeks were still flushed from her orgasm. Her hair was a mess. She gave me a quick kiss before she was out the door.

  Just as I was about to hit the shower, I realized that I smelled like her.

  I wanted that to linger, so I put on a pair of black running shorts and hit the pavement.

  “Maybe one day you’ll bring her around here?” Gus asks with a perk of his graying brow. “I’d love to meet the girl who stole your heart.”

  “Maybe one day,” I offer back.

  I’m too selfish to consider that at the moment. I don’t want to share Katie’s attention with anyone.

  I just got her back. If I had my way, we’d lock ourselves in my apartment for a month, but that’s not reality.

  There are still things I need to say to her. I have truths that I need to reveal.

  I’ll fight like hell to make certain that nothing gets in the way of what we’re rebuilding, but life has a way of tossing a curveball into the mix.

  “I’m going to sit with my thoughts for a minute.” Gus shoots me a look.

  I know a subtle push-off when I hear it. I take the hint respectfully, as I always do. “I’ll leave you to that.”

  “I’ll see you and Katie soon, will I?”

  “I can’t promise when you’ll meet Katie, but I’ll be around.”

  “I suppose that’s something to look forward to.” He winks. “Make today the best you can, Gage. Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.”

  ***

  An hour later, I’m standing at the front entrance to Katie Rose Bridal with a blueberry muffin in one hand and a cup of Earl Grey tea in the other.

  I rap on the door again, willing Katie to hear me before this tea burns a hole
right through the goddamn paper cup.

  The barista asked if I wanted it iced or hot. I said hot and he fucking delivered.

  I see a flash of someone moving in the boutique.

  Natalie appears behind the glass with a smile on her lips.

  She unlocks the door and swings it open. “Gage? What are you doing here so early?”

  It’s almost nine. Katie left my place more than an hour-and-a-half ago.

  “I’m here to see Katie.” I push my way past her. “She didn’t have time for breakfast this morning.”

  “You know this because…” her voice trails as she locks the door behind me.

  I ignore the question she didn’t ask. “Point me in Katie’s direction before this tea burns a hole through my hand.”

  She reaches for the cup.

  I don’t stop her because my hand comes in handy when I’m behind the bar at Tin Anchor.

  She rests the cup on the reception counter, taking time to slide a piece of paper underneath it so it won’t damage the wood. “Kate’s not here.”

  “She’s not?”

  “No.” She faces me. “Did she tell you that she’d be here?”

  I’m not fueling the fire that is this woman’s curiosity. If she wants answers about where Katie and I stand, those need to come from the woman I love.

  I won’t fill in the blanks for Natalie.

  “Where is she?” I rest the muffin and the napkin it’s wrapped in on the counter next to the tea.

  “She came in to take care of a delivery, but she took off right after.” She peels back one layer of the napkin to have a look. “You got this from the bakery around the corner, didn’t you? No one else in the five boroughs can make a muffin this good.”

  I’m not in the mood to talk about the superiority of one baked good over another.

  “I can call her and tell her that you’re here,” she offers. “Although I should warn you that I tried calling her right before you banged on the door, but she didn’t pick up.”

  “I’ll track her down.” I slide my phone from the front pocket of my jeans.