by Hazel Grace
I deserve a cookie and a brownie point.
A loud bang sounds on the bathroom door but we both decide not to acknowledge the woman who’s trying to get inside.
Lucy only replies by taking me deeper, my dick hitting the back of her throat and I growl. My balls begin to constrict and my lower stomach flurries in anticipation of an orgasm that’s long overdue from someone else.
Another thud and I deeply pull another hit off my blunt, allowing the narcotic to hit my lungs and brain. Then a loud bang rattles through the room as the door flies open, hitting one of the small white sinks in its wake.
Lucy jumps, falling to her ass and striking the tiled floors as I come face to face with the runner up in the bane of my existence lately.
Mills.
“Hey, buddy,” he greets with a boyish smile, clearly not giving a fuck about my hard dick pointing at the ceiling. “We gotta get home.”
I perk a brow, and he only keeps his smile plastered onto his face. He’s talking to me like a kid and he needs to get the fuck out.
“Scarlett is worried.”
It’s not that my sister is concerned or that he just busted through this bathroom like the SWAT team, but that he’s mentioning Scarlett that latches onto my full attention.
They’ve been getting extremely close—like they giggle together and share snacks close. He used to do the same to Marty’s woman, Stormi, until Marty came within another shared chip before beating his ass.
Actually, now that I remember it, I beat Marty’s ass that day for being a jealous douchebag.
But this is my baby sister and goofy Mills isn’t going to be sticking his dick anywhere near her but in a light socket if he tries.
“Tuck yourself in,” Mills quips. “I realize we’re tight and shit but—“
“We’re not close,” I retort, and for what, I don’t know.
Mills and I are close.
We’re brothers.
He bugs me, and I end up slapping him around for it, but he takes my shit because he knows it’s the way I am and vice versa.
So, instead of arguing, that’ll turn into me just going around in circles. And knowing that I won’t be coming in Lucy’s mouth now, I pass along a kind deed to the woman who offered to do it in the first place.
I hold out my hand to help her off the ground.
Pulling her up, she takes it upon herself to help me shove my cock back into my pants, but I seize her wrist because the moment’s gone. “Thanks, but I got it. Have a good night, Lucy.”
“Sure thing.” She gives me a flirty smirk then bites down on her lower lip. “Maybe one day we’ll get to finish.”
She strides out but not before eye-fucking Mills and murmuring something only he can hear.
“I’m good, thanks,” he replies to whatever she said and gestures with his head for her to take a hike.
When I’m all tucked away, Mills doesn’t wait for me to bitch or ask him any obvious questions. We leave, get into his car and drive back to my house.
“So I know you’re not up to date on everything but I wanted to give you a heads up on something,” Mills says a few minutes later over the music. “Alexander is trying to play nice and invited us all to dinner.”
I stare out the side window but ball my hands into fists.
“You know how this is going to go,” he continues. “She’s going to want us all to be involved in her kid’s lives. Just like Marty is going to need us. Stormi is due soon.”
“I know.”
It’s not that I haven’t thought about it, I have.
Emmy will always be here. It will regularly be in my face. I just haven’t decided what I’m going to do about it yet.
“You don’t have to go. I can make an excuse for you. I’m just giving you the heads up, man.”
“I’m hungry. Get me a hamburger.” Mills drops it and does what I ask, grabbing me three along with some fries and a Coke at a local fast food joint.
The rest of the drive is just filled with Mills’s Spotify playlist and me focusing on how they didn’t put enough pickles on my burgers. It’s all I’ll allow myself to do.
One issue at a time.
One hour, one day, at a time.
If I think any deeper, it only sinks me further into self-loathing and pity.
When we arrive at my house, Mills walks in with me. Scarlett is sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee and her kindle. And when she sees us, she smiles.
Now, I’m not sure if the pretty curl of her lips is for me or the asshole next to me, but I’m not going to bother acknowledging it. Nor am I going to accuse the man next to me for trying to pork my sister if he hasn’t even thought about it.
I can warn him, though.
“Hey,” she professes, rising from her chair in her pink pajamas. “You doing okay?”
Take that, Mills, you fucker.
“Yeah, I just stopped for a drink.”
Mills snickers. “Yeah, I found him talking to a friend.”
I fight the urge to thrust my elbow into his chest as Scarlett walks to the kitchen counter…in bunny slippers.
“You want some coffee?”
“Thanks, Scar,” Mills replies for us. “That’d be great.”
He begins to make his way to our dining room table, but I grab him by the collar of his tee and hurl him back. I also take the opportunity to glare at him before stepping ahead and taking my own chair.
Scarlett doesn’t notice the shuffle, running to the coffee pot that she bought for us last week, and caters to what I need. I’m still adjusting to allowing her to do just the simple things like cook dinner every night and make special desserts for us, but I appreciate the effort.
I like them here.
I like coming home to a family who wants to see me.
I like Maddy and her innocent little spirit and annoying questions.
The thud of boots hit the hardwood floors from the back of the house, hinting that Hardy is still up.
When he walks into the room, he’s chuckling and behind him follows a blonde.
A blonde that I’ve seen before.
A blonde that was just sucking my dick about an hour ago.
“Hey, guys.” Hardy uses one of his hands to spotlight Lucy. “This is my girlfriend—“ I don’t pick up anything else he says because I already know who the hell she is and what she obviously did.
All I hear is Mills’s mumbled “shit” and my uttered “fuck”.
I haven’t worked a dangerous case ever since Ledger found out that I was pregnant. He was ecstatic while I was torn between excited and absolutely terrified. BY my mother not being much of a mom, I’m hoping that some sort of motherly hunch kicks in when I give birth.
I’m afraid I’ll become my worst nightmare, and at that point, I’ll just off myself to save my kids the trouble.
Yep, I said kids—twins.
I’m having twins.
Two kids because, fuck me for getting to try this motherhood thing with one little life in the balance but multiple.
I made the technician doing the ultrasound check three times and all Alexander did was laugh.
I wanted to die a little.
Then on the day I began adding another pair of everything to my baby list, Bishop emailed me back the divorce papers—signed and dated.
My heart sunk.
I couldn’t help it, and I haven’t been able to lift it since. It’s what I asked for, what I wanted in the midst of being pissed off and jealous about Camilla.
I’ve fought with myself over and over to come clean and admit to him that I’m not sure if these, now, kids are his or not.
That I lied right to his face, which wasn’t entirely what I was afraid of.
It’s the fact that he couldn’t love all three of us which frightened me.
If Bishop could handle it.
I thought of the kids and the stories they’d tell their friends. I didn’t want one of those to involve their father in and out of their lives beca
use he’s so closed off from love.
I also don’t know what I’m going to do with Alexander. Who has been with me every step of the way since he found the pregnancy test. He claims he’ll love my kids—his or not—either way, I can’t say I believe him.
However, he’s shown me nothing different, except I’m paranoid and torn on how to approach it when the babies are born and I can have the DNA test done.
Alexander is on a whole other level of ready for these kids. He’s hysterical with excitement. There’s also a list of very moderate rules that he wants me to abide by, but they're all ridiculous and unnecessary.
Like how I’m only allowed to carry two grocery bags at one time. How Alexander is always lifting my purse to make sure it’s not too heavy or that I’m eating enough.
Sure, it’s essential to feed my squishies. It’s just hard.
Alexander’s overly consummated amount of worrying and caring is sweet. Still, I didn’t know I would be the newest charity case around here.
The boys of B723 are just as bad, if not worse.
I’m watched like a bird when I walk, talk, eat, snack, type, breathe, and blink. The only one that doesn’t coddle me like I’m a fragile piece of China glass—other than Bishop because he is avoiding me—is Blue.
And as much as I’d love not to speak to her, she’s the mere individual that doesn’t bother the fuck out of me at the moment.
When the second fam found out I was having twins, they acted as if it’s never been done before. That no one on this Earth has given birth to more than one baby at the same time.
That’s when B723 and Alexander took it a step further.
They’re the reason I’ve gained more weight than expected because they won’t allow me to get up to do anything for myself unless it’s to pee.
I’m supposed to be focused on nesting and a new wave of responsibility but nothing feels right for obvious reasons. That, and my mother wants me to come home so she can throw me an alleged baby shower.
She can shove it up her ass.
“Emmy!” Alexander hollers from my kitchen. “If you’re still on that laptop, your time is up!”
I roll my eyes and keep typing away at the only assignments Ledger will allow me to do—hacking into people’s illegal shit. “Okay!”
“Dinner will be ready in a few!”
“Okay!”
“Emmy,” he says, his voice deeper in a warning because he knows damn well that my laptop has not closed.
Besides the food cravings and being treated like a pregnant woman who can’t do anything on her own, Alexander has limited me to work after what he thinks are regular business hours.
I obviously don’t have those.
It’s bad enough that I can’t sleep on my left side, and climbing the stairs to get inside my condo causes me to run out of breath, but I also have to be bound to a time limit like a teenager.
“You’re annoying,” I sing-song, crossing my ankles as I lean back against the pillows of my bed.
Alexander shows up in my doorway seconds later. His brown eyes linger on my bigger tits, and he makes no endeavor to remove his full attention from them.
“You work a lot,” he deadpans, taking in the dip of my lavender dress and the small baby bump filling out underneath.
“Ledger has been cutting down a little bit,” I reply, resting my forearms on my pillows. “I’m doing easy stuff.”
He slowly shakes his head and begins rounding my bed. “I just don’t want you to overdo it.”
“I won’t.”
“Is that a new dress?”
I can’t help the smile that illuminates off my face. “It is. I bought it on clearance online.”
Typically Alexander rolls his eyes at me and implies that he’ll buy me everything and anything under the sun. Except he knows better than to think I’ll jump on it.
“Do you like it?”
“I do.” Then he frowns. “Emmy…I want you to quit your job.”
I jolt back like he just slapped me.
The fuck?
B723 is my home.
They’re my family.
Even though Alexander thinks I work for Wade most of the time, the lie about B723 doesn’t haunt me as much as what I have done while working for the secret government organization. He believes Ledger is like an equal to Wade. That they’re both tied in together when both men are two separate entities.
“Why?” My brows furrow, and anger begins to form in my veins. I appreciate Alexander wanting to take care of me, but he’s not going to pick away the vital part of my life.
He doesn’t get this.
“I’m not trying to upset you. I can take care of both us and the kids. You’re running around, and…it’s concerning me.”
I gape at him. “How?”
“All you do is Wade’s bidding and think about what we’re going to do for the children. Their childcare, school, college, names, what sort of crib should we buy and—“
“It’s important things,” I reply on the defense.
“Can we hold them first before you start planning eighteen years in the future?” Alexander sits on the side of my bed and grabs my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. “Emmy, I love you. I will support you in any decision that you make but I can’t keep up with you.”
“Me? I’m running out of places to put baby things.”
A glint of a grin traces his lips. “Touche. We need a new house.”
I shake my head. “Not yet.”
Alexander can’t hide the look of disappointment in his eyes if he tried.
I’m not looking to upset him either but he’d be even more broken if we buy a home and the twins aren’t his. I’m not seeking to uproot my newborn children if he can’t handle it like he says he can.
“You think I’ll change my mind?” I don’t answer his question because I plainly don’t want to.
We’ve had this discussion a million times before but I will not be thrown off again by anyone.
When Bishop asked me to marry him, I thought he’d open up to me. That maybe one day, he wouldn’t be so closed off to show me that I was everything he wanted.
I won’t do the same thing with kids and Alexander.
In fact, I’ll never do it again.
“I told you I wouldn’t,” he emits, squeezing my hand to make his point. “I know you’ve just gotten out of a complicated relationship but I—“
“It’s not all that,” I retort. “It’s the simple matter that I might not be carrying your children. You honestly can say that won’t bother you? That you want to take care of my ex-husband’s kids?”
“I love—“
“But is that enough?” I glance down at our joined hands. “You love me but my kids come with me. You don’t know how you will feel if that becomes the case, Alex. I’m sorry but I don’t want to put us both in a difficult situation. I need to be able to give you a clean break.”
Alexander glowers at me. His dark eyes burning holes into my face as his nostrils flare in disdain. “You’re serious? I’m not fucked up in the head. I’m a man, I know what I want. I’ve thought about this, leaving you behind. Shit, you were married before.”
“I technically still am.” I remove myself from his grip, still feeling the welcoming warmth from his hands. “And you might be a man but you’re neglecting the truth. I can’t have you regret me. I won’t be able to move on with you if you do. I’m not doing it again. Been there done fucking that.”
“You’re keeping us at a standstill until you know if they’re my kids?”
“From moving out of this condo, yes.”
He shrugs and rises from my bed. “Then I’ll just fucking buy a house, and when those kids are born, mine or not, I’ll have a place set up for us.”
“Alex—“
“No, Emmy, this is my choice. You just don’t believe me.”
“Because it’s fucked up,” I seize out, placing my palm onto my stomach that is beginning to knot from the reality of our r
elationship.
“You’ll see…” He walks backward out of my room. “Then when I show you that I’ll love all three of you the same, you’re gonna marry me, Emmy Lou Rhodes. Because I’d fucking do anything for you. End of story.”
Then he storms out, slams the front door of my place, and doesn’t come back with dinner.
Gathered around the rectangular table with all my loved ones, B723 sits with myself and Alexander drinking cocktails and straight shots.
Stormi came to visit, her stomach twice as big as the last time I saw her and she looks stunning. She kisses my cheek and begs for us to catch up.
Of course, I agree.
She’s the closest thing to understanding all the hormones and worries that comes from being pregnant for the first time.
Stormi will be an amazing mother, but for me, on the other hand, I’m still conflicted. Meanwhile, Alexander would be just as good as Marty with being a father.
Our fight a few weeks ago has simmered, but it still leaves a bad taste in our relationship when he tiptoes around where the babies are going to sleep.
I think I cut him deeper with my words than I intended, but I’d rather hurt him now with the truth than both of us when our lives may be turned upside down.
Ledger places a hand on top of mine, the closest thing I have to a parent these days, and seizes my attention. The wrinkles on his face lift into a smile and he looks at me lovingly as he leans in closer.
“It’s okay to be scared, Em,” he mutters close to me. “This particular mission is going to evolve your life, but it’s rewarding. My children do for me every day.”
“You have kids? I’ve never heard you mention them.”
“They’re a pain in the ass.” He chuckles then rubs the pad of his thumb along my skin in comfort. “It’s going to be alright. You have all of us. You will always have all of us.”
My eyes flick down the table.
Kyson.
Marty.
Mills.
Blue.
Alexander.
But no Bishop.
“This is important to him too,” Ledger pledges when he must notice me observing the empty chair. “Family is vital.”
I shake my head slightly as to not have Alexander catch that something is wrong when he spent so much time making sure this dinner was perfect. How these people here are everything.