“I want the kind of relationship where my man is my best friend. He’s the first person I want to share anything with, tell anything to, be with above anyone else.”
He flashed an encouraging smile. “I’m on board with that entirely.”
“I want children and I want my man to really be a father to those children, really participate in parenting. It’s imperative to me, since I never had it, to know my children will feel loved and important to us all the time.”
Vittorio nodded solemnly. “I agree one hundred percent. I didn’t have stellar parenting. Neither my mother nor father was interested in any of us.”
She looked a little shocked. “Vittorio. You’re so close with your siblings. I knew there was a problem with your mother, but your father as well?”
He shrugged. “We had Stefano.”
“But he’s only a few years older than the rest of you.”
“He took his role seriously. Keep going, gattina. What else do you need? You need to be able to tell me anything.”
She took a deep breath. The action lifted her breasts, drawing his attention. He’d been studiously avoiding looking too much at her sitting there, appearing vulnerable and sexy. He already wanted her with every cell in his body, but she kept wreaking havoc with his brain.
“I want to work. I love what I do, and I’m good at it.”
She had already indicated as much to him, so he stayed silent.
“I’m good with the routine you already have in the household because it’s important to you, and anything you need of course would be important to me,” she added.
“Why?” He pushed her. He knew he was asking a great deal of her to reveal more of herself to him, but he’d put himself on the line for her. Few women would have been happy with what he’d asked of her. “I know it takes courage to look at yourself and ask for what you need, but this is us. Our relationship, which is no one else’s business. I will always take care of you, Grace. Always. Any secret you have is mine. Anything I tell you I trust stays with you. We’re in this together. I’m already so proud of you for going this far with me.”
He knew stripping oneself of armor and baring one’s darkest secrets was uncomfortable and scary. Even terrifying. Her chin went up and his heart jerked hard in his chest. His cock matched the action against the material of his drawstring pants. It was a good thing they were loose because he was full and hard, his erection pulsing with urgent demands.
“I like pleasing you and really, really don’t like disappointing you. It’s the worst possible feeling,” she confessed in a low voice.
His heart jumped. If nothing else had gone before, he would have known she was the right woman for him just from that admission alone.
“When I’m with you, I find I want to make you happy. When I’m away from you, I’m thinking about making you happy and what that would take. I try to see all the details, how you like your home to be, your clothes, your coffee. Small things. Just so I know and can make certain you have them. Right now, you’ve been doing everything for me, but I want the chance to do things for you.”
His smile broke free before he had a chance to check it. High wattage. The real thing. He couldn’t help it. She was magnificent and too good to be true.
“I like doing things for you, Grace. I’ll continue to do those things and more. Does that make you uncomfortable?”
She shook her head and turned her attention to the raspberry-lemon creation Merry had made for them.
“I like verbal answers, bella,” he reminded. “It doesn’t seem important now, but it will be later when we’re having sex and I need to hear that you’re okay with whatever we’re doing.”
Her head came up, the color sweeping up her body, turning her breasts rosy. Her nipples peeked right through the lace, drawing his attention.
“Whatever we’re doing?” she echoed faintly.
“Yes. We’ll be doing the things I want to do. The things I demand of you. You haven’t told me what you need from me in the bedroom. Here, in our home. I have to know what your needs are in order to fulfill them.”
Her color deepened even more. She took a deep breath and tilted her chin at him. “I need you to tell me what to do. What you want from me. For some reason, when you do, I get more aroused than I ever thought possible. When you tell me what you want in or out of the bedroom, it makes me feel more in control and more powerful. I know what it takes to please you and I like being able to give that to you.”
She couldn’t have given him a more perfect answer. Vittorio could barely breathe with the need to hold her. Just to feel his arms around her and know she wanted him to belong to her in the same way he wanted her.
She took another deep breath. “And I don’t just want to be compatible. I want to be loved. Really, deeply loved. I want my man to fall so hard he won’t ever find a way to get up. I want to love that man with that same fierceness and passion.” She looked him right in the eyes. “I want everything or nothing at all, because I’m not willing to settle.”
He leaned toward her. “Grace, I know a few things about you from living with you these last few weeks. You have high self-esteem and you are very self-aware. I trusted you to know what you need and to tell me what those needs were because you are very aware of who you are and what your strengths and weaknesses are. You gave me hope when I hadn’t had any whatsoever; listening to you talk to Katie, I knew you were aware of other people’s needs and you worked hard to make certain those needs were met. You have a solid center in the midst of a horrific situation, and you’ve even achieved peace of mind in spite of Phillips, which is a fucking miracle.”
He reached across the table and caught her hand, his thumb sliding over the ring he’d put on her finger. “I want you to marry me. I don’t want you to get away.”
She took a deep breath. “Just because we’re compatible doesn’t meant you’ll feel—”
“Stop.” He sat up, letting her go, his command harsher than he intended. He made an effort to soften his tone. “It would be impossible for a man like me to know those things about you in such a short time, and yet I do because everything I’ve described as your characteristics are spot-on, right?”
At her nod, he continued. “If those are the traits in a woman I’ve searched the world over to find, it stands to reason I would already be falling in love with her when I found a woman with just those attributes.”
She blinked those long, feathery lashes at him. “You are?”
“I am. Are you finished with your dessert?”
She looked down at her plate. She’d eaten most of the slice. “Yes. I’m getting tired, and I don’t want to be tired.” Her uninjured hand slid along her thigh, rubbing back and forth.
He got up immediately and went around the table to help her out of her chair. In such close proximity, he found he couldn’t wait one more moment, doing what he’d wanted numerous times throughout dinner. He framed her small face with his large hands and bent to take possession of her mouth.
It was a takeover. His tongue found entry and he swept inside, taking control, kissing her the way he wanted. Claiming her as his. He was rough, demanding and possessive. He wanted her to feel his brand of love. Complete. Encompassing. Reverent. Carnal. All those things mixed together. Fire spread hot and liquid through his veins to pool in his groin. His cock ached for release, made its own imperative demands, so hard and thick he wasn’t certain he could take a step. He forced himself to lift his head and was happy when her mouth chased after his. He swept his hand down her body to settle between her legs, even more gratified to feel her slick, welcoming heat. She’d need all of it to accommodate him.
“We’re heading back to your room, Grace, but only until the doc says you no longer have to wear that sling to support your arm. You’ve only got another week, then we’ll move your things to the master bedroom.”
Grace nodded. He could see there was still a little apprehension in her eyes, but he couldn’t blame her for that. He was asking a
lot of her and he hadn’t even talked to her about what he did as a rider and how that could possibly affect both of them should anything go wrong between them.
She turned toward the door but then glanced at him over her shoulder. “We can’t leave the dishes out here.”
He blew out the candles and then gave her his full attention. “I’ve got that taken care of.”
“Of course you do.” She sent him a smile and walked ahead of him to the door.
He reached around her to put his hand on the doorknob. Lowering his head to her shoulder, he bit the sweet spot between it and her neck. “You should have trusted that I took care of that detail, gattina.”
She gave a little yelp at the sting and then shivered when he soothed the bite with his tongue. “I’m usually the detail person, and I’m still getting used to the fact that you’re willing to take that on for me.”
He pressed a kiss over his mark on her skin. “It will take time to work things out between us, but we’ll get there. Trust is given over time, not immediately. I don’t expect that.”
It had taken Vittorio a long time to accept the dominant traits in himself and what that would mean when expecting a partner to live with him. He didn’t want to ever be overbearing or in any way hurt his wife or children. He took time to find the things he needed to keep his life balanced and peaceful, as well as to develop compassion and humility. He might be dominant, but he refused to be domineering.
He’d learned to be a clear, good communicator, one who listened attentively with an open mind and tried to find every solution before resorting to imposing his will. His voice was a gift he could use when needed and it helped to persuade and soothe a difficult situation. He hoped it would help with their children. He knew it would be every bit as important for him to be honest with Grace as he wanted her to be with him. If he wasn’t, how could he expect her to be?
He had pride in who he was, because he’d taken the time to train his mind just as he had his body. He had a strict code he lived by and loyalty was at the top of the list. If his woman put herself and her well-being into his care, he took that seriously and knew the gift she was giving him. He wasn’t about to let her down through self-indulgence.
He was very aware his hold on Grace was tentative. She wanted him and the lifestyle he offered her, but he could tell there was a part of her she was holding back. That was expected as well. She was an intelligent woman and she wasn’t just going to hand herself over to him because she was tempted. He loved that about her because it meant when she did fully surrender, he’d earned it and he had a much better chance of keeping her when he had to tell her he was a shadow rider and what that meant for both of them.
He swept his hand from her shoulder blade to the curve of her bottom and then rested his palm there, making her hyperaware of him. He felt her reaction as she walked back to her room, the slight trembling of her body, the little hitch in her breath.
“Do you object to walking around the house with just lingerie such as this on?” Deliberately he stepped closer to her, letting her feel his heat.
She shook her head. He remained silent, and she cast an anxious glance up at him. He met her eyes. Waiting.
“No. I’d definitely have to get used to it and wouldn’t want anyone else in the house but the two of us.”
Her explanation came out in a little rush. She’d continued walking so her face was averted, but once again, he saw that slow blush that was full body. He found the way her color rose when she looked at him both sexy and endearing. Just that sight alone did unexpected things to his body. He dropped his hand and caressed her left cheek.
Reaching around her as if to open her door, he let his body press tight against hers, so she would feel the thickness of his cock and know he wanted her as much or more than she wanted him. “If I ask you to wear something for me, you’ll have to trust that I’ll keep you safe, Grace, whether someone’s in the house or not.”
Her breath hitched, and she glanced at him over her shoulder. He swept his hand down her back from the nape of her neck to the curve of her bottom, but she didn’t protest.
“There will be many occasions that I will use something like handcuffs or ropes. I like the idea of having you helpless and me giving you orgasms over and over. I’ve fantasized about that.” He made the confession against her ear, his lips brushing her skin, his breath warm. “Does that excite you or make you afraid?”
He opened the door and used his body to urge her forward. Her trembling increased, her color going from rose to a beautiful shade of red.
“Both.” Her voice shook.
“Mia bella gattina, sei cosi coraggioso.” He murmured his admiration as he came up behind her and took her hand gently out of her sling. “I’m a very lucky man. Very few women would have the courage to be so honest with me. Without honesty between us, I would never be able to give you everything you want or need.” He caught at the stretchy lace, bunching the material in his hand and slowly drawing it up over her hips and rib cage.
Her breath was coming in fast, ragged pants of anticipation. He wanted her there, but he needed to take her even higher. Those breathy gasps caused his cock to throb and ache. Her music to accompany his seduction of her. She was giving him more than he possibly could have asked for this first time with her. She was focused wholly on him, his every movement, the way he walked, his bare feet, his open shirt, his very breathing, and that drove his own need even more.
“Stay relaxed for me,” he instructed as he pulled the sexy little gown higher. “I’m taking this off your good arm and then carefully off your injured shoulder before anything else. When I’ve got it off, use the bathroom and get ready for bed, although you won’t need clothes.”
Grace stood there for a moment, nearly bringing her hand up in an attempt to cover the fiery patch of curls at the junction of her legs. She stopped herself, and he leaned down to brush a kiss across her mouth. She’d stopped herself for him.
“Looking at you gives me immeasurable pleasure.” It was true. “I’m going to be doing a lot of that.”
She smiled, but it was a small smile, as if she wasn’t quite convinced, but he knew, over time, she would be.
He turned her toward the bathroom. “I love watching you walk.” His palm cupped her cheek and then released her. She took the cue and moved across the room to the bathroom. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was mesmerizing. Sensual. She didn’t know it and that was half the temptation.
He kept the lights off, although he had the drapes wide open. The view of the lake was incredible, and the surface served to enhance moonlight and send it through the long bank of windows. He wanted to be able to see his woman and judge just how she was feeling at any given time.
He had the covers pulled back exposing the bottom sheet. He shook her meds into his hand and waited for her return. When she came back, he put her hand back in the sling and offered the pills to her.
“I drank wine tonight.”
He had consulted with her doctor, who had assured him one glass of wine wouldn’t hurt her. She wasn’t taking pain pills so much as anti-inflammatories. The combination wasn’t going to bother her. He remained silent, still holding out his hand with the pills on his palm.
Grace took them from him. “You already talked to the doctor, didn’t you?”
“Would I take a chance on harming you?” he countered.
She smiled up at him. “You amaze me that you’re willing to see to every detail. By the time I get off work, I’m so exhausted, I honestly forget to think about myself. These past few weeks I’ve been leaving it all up to you and you haven’t let me down once. In fact, you take better care of me than I do.” She swallowed the pills down with the glass of water he had sitting on her nightstand.
Vittorio took the glass from her and pointed to the bed. She made a face at him and hesitated.
“It’s awkward getting on the bed. Doing it in front of you is really embarrassing.”
He frowned, not u
nderstanding. “You’ve been insisting on getting on your bed without help every night for more than a week. I was in the room, sitting right over there. I asked you every night if you needed help and you said very clearly you didn’t.”
For a man like him, watching her struggle had been pure hell. More, he’d been up-front from the beginning what kind of man he was and what he required. When she had refused his help, she’d refused him as a man.
She looked as if she’d been struck. Her eyes grew bright and her face flushed. She took a step closer to him. “Vittorio.” Her hand shaped his face. It was the first time she’d touched him intimately, the care in her touch. “I never meant to hurt you. It felt wrong to ask for your help when I was so confused and unsure of why you had chosen me.”
“Why wouldn’t I choose you, Grace?” He didn’t want her to step away. The tips of her breasts were just above his cock and he wanted the two scant inches between them gone, so he could press against her.
“You have to remember where I work, Vittorio. I’m an event planner. I’m hired to put on events for your family. We move in completely different circles. You date movie stars and I carry around a serial killer.”
She made an attempt at humor, but he didn’t like it.
“I know you don’t think you’re in any way beneath me.”
She dropped her hand to her side and ducked her head.
He caught her chin. “You don’t get to hide from me. That’s part of our rules. We’re honest with each other, even brutally so. Am I wrong in thinking you have high self-esteem?”
She pressed her lips together. For a moment he caught a flash of amusement in her eyes. “Evidently too high. I considered you to be a spoiled playboy with too much money. I kind of put you in a category of super-beautiful, but a little useless.”
His eyebrow shot up. Truthfully, he wanted to laugh. “Useless?” he echoed.
“Not as bad as some of your brothers,” she added hastily.
He did laugh. She was priceless. “Some? Which ones of my brothers were more useful?”
Shadow Warrior (The Shadow Series Book 4) Page 24