by Minna Howard
‘That what he said. Imagine the restaurant all done up with flowers and hearts and lovers all billing and cooing in discreet corners. I just can’t think how to get out of it, or even go somewhere ordinary, perhaps a film, that won’t make such a thing of it.’
‘You have to make it clear from the start that you are happy to have supper with him and just be friends. Definitely no flirting, that always gives them the green light even if you don’t mean it,’ Vero warned.
‘I know. I can’t say I’m ill or he’ll ask why I’m at work and I can’t let my class down by pretending I’ve got flu or something.’ Amelia sighed. ‘If Grania was still here I could have used her as an excuse not to go.’
‘So glad she’s back. You must all come round so we can hear about her adventures. Great she’s brought a man back with her.’
Valentine’s day arrived and David picked her up and they drove to the restaurant. To her relief things felt easy between them and she began to look forward to a good dinner, though she wondered if she shouldn’t make some lighthearted remark about being surrounded by lovers.
It was obvious that the restaurant was intent on making a huge splash, opening on Valentine’s Day. There had been advertisements in the local newspaper, and in some shops, offering a free glass of prosecco, and a red rose, all obviously trying to appeal to lovers to spend the evening with them.
She should have refused the invitation for such an obviously romantic evening. He’d said he hadn’t realised the date, but was that true? The shops had been full of chocolates in red heart-shaped boxes and red roses for ages.
They were driving deep into the countryside now, a thin moon hung above them in the dark sky. She said, ‘I’m sure we could be great friends, David. I don’t want romance. I still miss my husband too much and you have just come out of a long relationship. Let’s be friends.’ She smiled at him. ‘Don’t you think that would suit us best?’
‘So…’ He turned to her, the car lurching on the bend of the road. ‘Let’s get straight to the point. You mean no sex?’
Why was this so difficult, did he expect a night of passion with her in exchange for a good dinner?
‘Yes,’ she said, ‘I do. I know we are both adults and have no one – like small children - to hurt but I just want friendship, which as I’ve said is a very special thing.’
He drove on in silence a moment before he said, ‘I’m very attracted to you, Amelia. You are a beautiful woman and I’d like us to have a relationship together. We are both free, after all and can take it further, be more than friends.’
She wanted to say ‘please turn back and take me home’, instead she said, ‘Let’s see what happens but tonight we are just friends, and if you are not happy about it, I’m sorry, but that is how it is.’
There was another long silence and she stared out at the passing hedgerows; each piece lit up as the headlights caught it. They reached the outskirts of the village and he turned down a street and there ahead she saw the restaurant, its name, The Aviary, lit up over the door. What a strange name, she thought. It didn’t look like an aviary, just like any other restaurant, a door with a lamp over it and two large windows either side with a couple of old barrels with obviously fake red roses arranged in them.
They got out and walked over to the door, neither saying anything, Amelia struggling to think of something cheerful to say. He opened the door for her, and they went inside. It was full with a scatter of tables, each occupied by two people and as she had feared decorated in hearts and red balloons. Ahead it was all glass, an aviary, no less, full of colourful parakeets, flying and squawking safely inside, and there, happily settled at a table beside it were Jamie and Wilfred.
42
Wilfred was the first to see them and he looked slightly surprised. ‘My dears,’ he said, ‘Happy Valentine’s.’
Amelia could feel David cringe beside her, lifting his hand in a slight salute to them as they passed by. She wondered how many other people they knew might be there too, lurking in the darkness. Would Jules be here with Cynthia, having forgiven her for forgetting to pick up Dickon? She didn’t think she could bear it if he was.
Jamie looked up and smiled as they followed the waiter to their table, thankfully quite far away. Amelia kept her head down, half expecting some other neighbour to hail her.
‘Obviously a popular place,’ she remarked, as she sat down and the waiter unfurled her pristine, white napkin and laid it over her lap.
‘Yes, I suppose because it is new, and just opened tonight. Perhaps I should have chosen somewhere else,’ David said. ‘I didn’t realise Valentine’s Day was such an event – it has obviously become quite commercial.’
‘It looks nice,’ she said weakly, wondering why he had not at least noticed all the hype in the shops and newspapers that started almost the moment after Christmas. She felt they were strangers now, awkward with each other, and she wished again she hadn’t come. She’d learnt to be without Esmond now, a single woman again who could do whatever she liked without feeling she might upset someone else. It had been so difficult at first, but now she realised she’d got used to it and it would need someone very special to give up this new freedom.
The menus were brought and a drink order taken and after throwing around a few safe words – ‘interesting menu,’ from David, ‘looks delicious, difficult to choose,’ from Amelia – they somehow managed to settle down together. Amelia was determined to make the best of it, and if she could keep David as a friend, not a lover, it would be worth it.
‘My older daughter, Grania is back from her travels in India.’ She told him about her and her new boyfriend that she’d yet to meet.
‘And how is Sophie going with her mission with the kennels?’ he asked.
She explained about Rufus moving into his aunt’s house and their plans.
‘Jules did the right thing, he usually does,’ David said. ‘We were at university together; I used to go and stay with him and Marina, in France.’
‘So, you knew his wife?’ she asked, hoping she wasn’t sounding nosy, but wanting to know more about her.
‘Yes, Marina too was at university with us, though they didn’t become close until later. She got some bloody cancer,’ he said with a sigh. ‘Hard to believe as she was such a strong, healthy sort of woman, but she didn’t make it. Dickon was about three, I think.’
‘It must have been so difficult.’ Amelia remembered the day Cynthia forgot to pick him up at school. She mentioned it, hoping to hear if David knew how important Cynthia’s role was in Jules’s life.
‘Oh, Cynthia.’ He smiled. ‘She works in the vet’s practice, just answers the phone, I believe. There used to be an old vet, then a younger couple of vets came briefly. She worked for them and then they left, and Jules arrived, and I think she decided she wanted a romance with him.’ He paused as the waiter came for their order.
Amelia hoped he’d go on, but David remarked instead on the food, so she carefully steered him back to it. ‘So, she and Jules are an item, now?’
‘I don’t know, I somehow doubt it. He said he never wanted to marry again and anyway, it’s not just his choice, now he has Dickon. They are very close, and it would take a very special woman who would love and care for him as well and perhaps not feel threatened by him still loving Marina.’
She understood; she would love Esmond until the end of her life though she’d always believed that love was limitless.
‘Yes, it would be a lot to ask.’ She remembered Christmas Day when Dickon and Cynthia ignored each other.
The food and wine were delicious and the ambiance just right, soft lighting and a feeling of intimacy though there were quite a few people eating there. Amelia felt more relaxed. David was a good companion and easy to get on with.
The meal came to an end, the bill paid, and it was time to leave. It had turned out to be a very enjoyable evening, Amelia thought, and that was all she wanted. She dreaded how it would end. David lived about half an hour’s dri
ve from her; perhaps he was hoping he could stay the night with her instead of driving back. Was that the price of a dinner?
She followed him out, taking the rose given to her as they left. They passed Wilfrid and Jamie’s table, now empty. David helped her on with her coat. Should she now say something, even offer to take a taxi? She felt as shy as a girl on her first date.
The cold hit them in the face as they went out to the car. David had his hand under her elbow, and she was glad that he guided her over the rough ground to the car. She felt shy now. Oh, what a minefield dating was at their age. But she must avoid a battle on the doorstep. She couldn’t use Sophie as an excuse as she was in London with Dom, though she hadn’t told him this, had she? She couldn’t remember.
When they were back on the road home, she said, ‘Thank you for such a lovely evening, David. I’ve really enjoyed it.’
He turned and smiled at her. ‘It’s not over yet,’ he said.
‘Oh, but it is when we reach my house,’ she said. ‘I still miss my husband and I find it hard to…’ She paused, wondering how to put it. ‘To imagine starting an intimate relationship with someone else. I mean friends are wonderful and I’d value your friendship.’ She thought it all sounded a bit treacly, but she didn’t know how else to put it.
‘I always think it best to make it clear what kind of relationship you want, don’t you?’ she said.
There was silence while he took in what she was saying. She stared out at the road ahead, his headlights picking it up as they drove. She wanted to say more, to explain better, but surely she’d made herself clear and he would honour that.
He sighed. ‘Well, if that’s what you want. I’d have thought you’d be over your husband’s death by now.’ He turned and looked at her. ‘It’s almost four years now, isn’t it? You said he was much older than you, so you must have known it might happen. It is time to move on, Amelia and we get on well, don’t we?’
‘We do, but I imagine sex without love must be rather sad,’ she said.
‘Rather sadder not to have it, I’d have thought,’ he said. ‘We’re grownups, know what’s what, you’re a very sexy woman, and we could easily fall in love if that’s what you want. I’m half in love with you already.’
But I don’t love you, she thought, and I don’t think I ever will. I don’t want to be coupled up with you, for people to think we are an item. I just want friendship, meeting up occasionally, having a fun time. But how could she say all this without causing offence?
‘I’m sorry. But that’s how I feel,’ she said. ‘I know you are unhappy that you’ve lost your girlfriend, but you can’t just replace people so easily, you know.’
‘I do know,’ he said sadly. ‘Sorry, but you must move on too, Amelia. You can’t stay locked in the past. I doubt your husband would expect it.’ He turned again to her.
They were approaching her house now; she’d left all the lights blazing so it would look as if people were there. He saw them and said, ‘So Sophie is in?’
‘Looks like it,’ she said, wondering if he’d remember that she’d left all the lights on when he picked her up, or if she’d told him that Sophie was in London.
He stopped the car and got out to come round to her side but she’d opened the door her key in her hand.
‘Thank you for such a great evening,’ she said, reaching up and kissing him on the cheek before making for her door. He was close behind her and offered to unlock the door for her.
‘No, it’s fine.’ She fumbled with the locks – the mortice, which would not be in use if anyone was at home, and the ordinary one. The door opened and she stood in the doorway almost barring the way.
‘Thanks again, David, it was a lovely evening, safe journey home.’ She hurriedly shut the door, leaving him outside in the cold. She felt mean, but surely it would be worse to start a closer relationship with him when she didn’t fancy him that way at all?
43
It was impossible to sleep. Amelia tossed and turned in bed, annoyed that she felt so bad at turning David down.
The next day she felt heavy-headed and bad-tempered, but when Sophie came back from being in London with Dom that evening, she tried to be more cheerful, though Sophie was not in much of a good mood either.
‘There’s no point in me staying in London any longer, Dom goes to work at dawn, so I might as well come home and get on with saving the kennels.’
Amelia noticed that she was wearing her engagement ring, the first time for a while. Amelia waited for her to tell her if she and Dom were still together, but Sophie seemed keener on phoning Rufus to ask how things were going, telling him that she’d be there in the morning, before ringing off.
‘As you might have seen, Mum, we’ve put notices in all the shops and local businesses, sort of advertising what we are doing at the same time. Lots of people around have pets and we’ve found that a fair amount of them are interested that we are building a safe place for them to leave them and have contributed to it. We are getting quite a bit of money coming in at last,’ she told her excitedly.
‘Don’t the people who take part in crowdfunding expect something back, a share in it or something?’ Amelia said.
‘Some firms like dog food and the pet shop want us to put advertisements around the place,’ Sophie said. ‘Other people do crowdfunding, so it must work, anyway Rufus has looked into it all. We must get it open again,’ she finished firmly.
‘Well, you are both working very hard at it, and have some good ideas to raise the funds, but I’d show Jules the plans before you start in case…’
‘Why should we?’ Sophie interrupted impatiently. ‘We know exactly what we want.’
Amelia knew it best not to point out that perhaps Sophie had no idea of which design of building to use to house animals. Jim and Dodie seemed to take any pet, from dogs to parrots, and they all needed their own special place to keep them safe. When they built their pet sanctuary some years ago, there were probably no strict guidelines and certainly not someone like Jules to oversee it.
‘You must do what you think fit but remember the people who donate the money to you will be rightly upset if it is wasted and what you have built cannot be used,’ Amelia said carefully, not wanting to pour cold water their efforts.
On Tuesday after school Amelia stopped off to do some shopping. As she passed the designer shop, she saw Rosalind arranging some bolts of fabric in the window. Rosalind was so intent on her task she did not see her, and Amelia was about to walk on past when she thought she’d pop in and see her. It was hardly her fault that Hamish, her drunken husband, had behaved so appallingly at the dinner party. She admired her for suddenly taking charge and taking him home, though Jules had more than done his bit in securing it.
She opened the shop door and the bell alerted Rosalind, who came out of the window into the shop. Her assistant was busy with a client, measuring out metres of blue silk.
‘I’ve just come to see how you are, Rosalind,’ Amelia greeted her.
Close up, Rosalind looked worn and tired. Amelia couldn’t think of anything worse than having such a bore of a husband. How lucky she’d been with hers.
‘I’m fine, thanks. I just feel so dreadful about what happened that evening. I think it’s a nervous tic he has,’ she said, not looking at her.
Amelia thought that a rather lame excuse as Hamish was so cocky. He was bad enough sober. ‘Anyway, you handled it very well, taking him home,’ she said,
‘Well, Jules helped me there.’ Rosalind sighed. ‘It could have been much worse if he hadn’t come to the rescue and helped me out with him, and Giles too. Hamish works in London and is often away on business. We have a tiny flat there, so he is only here at weekends.’
‘Well, good to see you now, let’s meet for something at the next school break,’ Amelia said. ‘I’ll leave you to finish your window, it looks very tempting! Lovely materials. You quite make me want to redo some of mine,’ she said warmly, meaning it but knowing she wouldn’t do it
, having just spent quite a lot doing it the first time, barely a year ago.
She left Rosalind promising to get in touch during the Easter holidays.
As always, Christmas was barely over before Easter eggs and hot cross buns flooded the shops, causing Amelia to wonder what would happen to people’s pets if they wanted to go away for the Easter break. The kennels would not be ready in time, and Sophie, busy with Rufus, would not be around enough to help out much. She didn’t know Grania’s plans, though she was coming for the weekend with Gus.
In the melee of parents and au pairs collecting their children from school, Amelia occasionally saw Jules but usually it was Giles or one of the women who worked in the house, who collected Dickon. There was no sign of Cynthia and she didn’t like to ask Dickon about her.
Dickon seemed to have settled in better now, though he would search Amelia out whenever she was on duty at breaktime. He’d come and show her something he’d brought to school, or a stone, a snail or even a broken eggshell left over from the spring he’d found in the playground.
‘Have you any more pets living with you?’ he’d often ask and when she told him no, though she was slightly worried with Easter coming up in a few weeks, he said, ‘I do hope you have some then I can come and see them, or p’rhaps we’ll have some with us.’
Grania and Gus were at home when she got back from work. He was, as Grania described him, short and fair, though taller than her, and Amelia liked him at once.
‘Grania has told me about your adventures with the animals,’ he said, a smile creasing his face. ‘You’ll get on well with my parents who breed horses and have lots of dogs.’
‘I look forward to meeting them.’ Amelia wondered how serious their relationship was, and whether she should be saving up for a wedding.
Sophie, when she met him, gave him the thumbs up behind Grania’s back. She was more subdued now that Dom was about to leave for the States. His sister and her leery boyfriend were going to take over the flat.