by Minna Howard
Amelia felt the tears rise in her, an ache in her heart. Esmond had adored Vero and she him, and Amelia knew they had had long conversations about how she’d cope when he was gone.
‘I just don’t feel that way about David,’ she said, ‘and I wish he’d understand, and we could be friends.’
There was a lull in the conversation as she said this and Jules, who was the closest to them, looked her way with surprise as if she’d said something dramatic. Then there was a sudden scream and Dickon rushed into the room. Luna had jumped from his grasp and was now lost in the kitchen.
46
Immediately, all conversation stopped. Jules jumped up from the sofa and hurried over to Dickon putting his arm round him.
‘Don’t worry, he can’t have gone far. Have you shut the kitchen door?’
‘No… no, I didn’t, there’s no one there.’ Dickon broke free and ran down the passage to do so, closely followed by Jules and Janey.
Everyone else followed them down the passage, Amelia glancing about as she went in case Luna was hiding somewhere there.
Giles came to a halt, putting his arm out to stop the others. ‘We’re being a bit foolish all descending on the poor creature like this. It will scare him, make him stay hidden, even cause him to hurt himself as he tries to get away. As long as he hasn’t gone out into the garden, I’m sure he hasn’t gone far.’
Everyone turned back, except for Amelia, who was already at the kitchen door, which Jules had now shut, leaving him and Dickon inside. Amelia joined them, opening the door just enough to slip in. She and Jules got down on their knees and taking opposite sides of the room, crawled round searching in all the nooks and crannies. Amelia peered into a cupboard whose door had been left slightly open. All the time Dicken stood in the middle of the floor fighting back tears. There was no sign of Luna.
The kitchen door suddenly opened, and Cynthia came in. ‘I was just passing the house, Jules, so I thought I’d bring the list of things we need for the practice, for you to confirm. I’ll order them first thing.’ She addressed his backside as he carefully searched through some trays that were stacked in a corner.
‘Shut the door, Luna’s escaped,’ Jules said.
‘Luna’s escaped, we can’t find him,’ Dickon’s voice was breaking.
‘Oh, he’s sure to turn up when it’s dinnertime,’ Cynthia said briskly, as if he was an adult who had forgotten the time. ‘Now, Jules, spare me a moment to go through this.’ She thrust out a laptop which Amelia could see had columns of words on it. She watched Jules for his reaction.
‘It will wait until the morning. We have to find Luna,’ he said, not even looking at her.
‘But you’re going to be late in, you said you’d drop into Fen Farm on the way, to see how that pig is.’ Cynthia stood firm in the middle of the room. ‘I’m sure your pet will turn up soon.’ She sounded impatient as if Luna’s disappearance was of no consequence.
Dickon struggled to be brave, watching his father, to see if he would do what Cynthia wanted, which would give Luna even more time to run even further away from them. Amelia tensed, determined herself to stay looking for Luna, if Jules was going to deal with Cynthia’s request.
Jules got up. ‘It can easily wait until I get in tomorrow, Cynthia. Finding Luna is vitally important as he needs to keep warm and this room and indeed most of the house is full of draughts and dangers for such a delicate animal,’ he said coldly. He got back down on the floor and continued his search.
Cynthia said moodily, ‘It will only take a moment and save lots of time in the morning. I called in here out of my way, to make your life easier. You have too much to do being the only vet here.’
Jules did not reply but went further into the cupboard. Amelia continued her search and Dickon sniffed, wiping his nose on his jersey. He looked lost and miserable, making her wish she could tell him everything would be all right and that Luna would turn up, though she knew that might not be true. He could have escaped from the kitchen and be somewhere else in this large house, or he might even have got into the garden.
They heard footsteps coming down the passage and Giles gingerly opened the door and peered round. ‘How’s it going?’ he said.
‘He’s still lost,’ Dickon said mournfully.
‘Do you think he’s still in the kitchen and not somewhere in the passage?’ Giles said, echoing Amelia’s thought. ‘Perhaps some of us should look there, and in his own room.’ He glanced at the door to the small room, now shut, off the kitchen.
‘He jumped out of my hands in the kitchen,’ Dickon said.
‘Though the door was left open so he may be somewhere else,’ Giles said, catching Jules’s eye.
Cynthia, obviously feeling left out, said, ‘Well, I’d say he’s lost, probably fallen down some crack into the foundations of the house. You can always get another one.’
‘I don’t want another one, I want Luna,’ Dickon sobbed.
‘You can’t replace pets as easily as that,’ Jules said, and from the look on his face, Amelia realised that Cynthia had finally gone too far and any hope she had to snare him was lost.
‘If he’s gone, he’s gone, Dickon,’ Cynthia said in a gentler voice. ‘It’s a difficult lesson to learn, but it’s life.’
‘Mum’s gone, perhaps he’s with Mum,’ Dickon said sadly.
His words brought tears to Amelia’s eyes, and she peered deeply into a cupboard beside her to hide her anguish.
‘Maybe,’ Cynthia said briskly. ‘Now I must go. See you in the morning, Jules, hope we have time to go through those figures.’ She left the room, and no one seemed sorry to see her go.
Dickon came over to Amelia. ‘Do you think we’ll find him before he gets too cold?’ He sounded fearful.
‘We’re doing our best,’ she said. ‘Now do you think he managed to get out of this room and is hiding in the passage or has even gone into another room. Did you see which direction he went in when he jumped out of your hands?’
Jules had asked the same question and Dickon had been certain that he was hiding somewhere in the kitchen.
Amelia was getting stiff, so she got up from the floor when there was a movement by her feet and Luna ran across the floor. Dicken saw him, screamed and chased him. Jules managed to scoop him up before he disappeared somewhere else. A great feeling of relief swept round the room. Jules gave him the once over and said he thought he’d come to no harm after his adventure.
‘That’s a bit of luck,’ Giles said, as Dickon held him close. ‘I’ll go and tell the others, they will be relieved.’ He left the room.
‘Let’s get him in his cage and leave him to be quiet for a while to get over his adventure,’ Jules said as he and Amelia went with Dickon into the room off the kitchen to put Luna back in his home.
‘Do you think you were sitting on him, Amelia?’ Dickon asked her. ‘I mean you stood up and there he was.’
‘No, I don’t think so, he didn’t look squashed. I’d say it was just a fluke that he appeared when Amelia stood up.’ Jules steered Dickon holding Luna towards his cage where they settled him back in. ‘Let’s leave him in peace, Dickon, to get over his adventure, and in future be very careful he doesn’t run away again.’
‘I will. I’ll go and tell everyone he’s been found.’ Dickon dashed out of the room, through the kitchen and down the passage to the living room, shouting all the way, ‘He’s found, he’s found, Luna’s been found.’
Amelia and Jules were left alone in the room with Luna. Jules said with a sigh of relief, ‘So, all’s well that ends well.’
‘Yes, thank goodness.’ She’d half turned to leave the room and go through the kitchen to follow Dickon back to the others.
To her dismay, she was overcome with an overwhelming longing for Jules to put his arms round her and hold her close. It had been a traumatic episode, made worse by Dickon’s fear of losing yet another important thing, even if it was just an animal, in his life. She must get a grip. It was not her pet that ha
d gone walkabout. It was a relief that all was well, he had been found, and was safely back in his home.
Jules said quietly behind her, ‘So, Amelia, can I take it that there’s nothing… I mean romance wise, between you and David?’
She stopped in the doorway, then turned to face him. He was so close she could feel the warmth of him. She said, ‘I like him, but only as a friend.’ She sighed, and went on, ‘which he does not seem able to accept.’
There was a silence between them, enclosing them, and she felt bound to fill it. She said, ‘Since Esmond died, I haven’t felt close enough to anyone to let them take his place.’ She turned and went into the kitchen to go and join the others. Jules was close behind her.
‘I understand what you mean,’ he said, ‘people keep saying move on, but it is very difficult as, if you do, you can’t help feeling that you have left the person you have lost behind.’
47
Amelia hovered between the two rooms. She had a feeling that something had changed. As if the ache in her heart from missing Esmond had floated away. She felt lighter, as if she had thrown off a heavy garment that had restricted her movements, her emotions.
Jules was close behind her; she must move forward; she was blocking his way into the room.
He said quickly, ‘I never thought I’d say this to any one again, but I feel free of the pain of losing Marina. I thought I’d grieve for ever, but these last few days I’ve felt different.’
She felt herself turning to face him, though part of her told her to leave. She might have misunderstood, and he was about to tell her that he and Cynthia were together.
They heard running feet down the passage, and a firmer tread behind. Dickon with Giles close behind came into the room.
Dickon said, ‘Great-Uncle Giles has come to check that Luna is okay, not suffering any aftereffects.’ He pushed past them to go into the room.
Giles seemed to sense something in the air. He said, ‘Sorry, it’s just Dickon’s excuse to make sure Luna’s back in his cage, and of course, Jules, you’ve given him the once over, so he must be all right. I thought I’d better come and see that he doesn’t disturb him. I didn’t know you were both still here, or you could have seen to it.’
‘Yes, don’t disturb him, Dickon, let him rest after his adventure,’ Jules said, going back into the room with him.
Amelia felt as if a warmth had suddenly cooled. Pulling herself together, she said to Giles, ‘Such a relief he’s back safe and sound. The house is so large he could have gone anywhere, or worse got outside. Now, I must get home, get myself organised for school tomorrow. Thank you for yet another lovely day, Giles, and Jules. I know I’m always suggesting you come to me, I promise we’ll have a party when the term is finished.’
‘Sounds a great idea,’ Giles said, glancing at Jules. ‘I’ll stay here a moment with Dickon and Luna.’
‘Bye, Dickon, see you tomorrow at school. So glad Luna is back safe,’ Amelia said.
After a prod from Giles, Dickon thanked her for finding him.
Amelia and Jules went down the passage together towards the others. She longed to be alone with him. She was so out of practice with this sort of thing, and she might well have misread his feelings. Part of her accepted that she had felt attracted to Jules from the first time she’d seen him, but that didn’t mean he was attracted to her. And there was Dickon, she reminded herself firmly. Her daughters were old enough to understand that she could find someone else, Sophie had even suggested it, but Dickon was so used to his life being so close to his father, being just the two of them, he might not want to share his father with someone else.
They had almost reached the living room. They could hear laughter from something Ben had said.
Jules was close behind her. He was not touching her, but she could feel the warmth of him. He said softly, ‘I’ll contact you later… I feel… Well, we can’t talk now, but if you want to meet up.’
She turned to face him, tempted to hold him close. ‘I’d like that.’
He put his hand on her arm and, for a second, she thought that he would kiss her, even lifted her face to receive it. Then they heard Vero and Ben coming out of the living room, saying they must get home. They came out of the living room and Ben, seeing them in the passage, said, ‘We’ve had a great time as always. Thanks so much, Jules. Is Giles around to say goodbye?’
‘Yes, he’s with Dickon and Luna,’ Jules said.
As he spoke, Giles, with Dickon running before him, came down the passage. Vero told Amelia they must meet up soon, then sensing that something momentous had happened, she gave her a quizzical look, glanced at Jules then back at her.
Amelia tensed, waiting for Vero to say something, but to her relief she did not. She wanted to hold this moment close, turn it over and savour it alone.
Goodbyes were said all round, everyone leaving together. There was no chance for Amelia and Jules to say a word together. He kissed her goodbye, his hand on her back. She knew the kiss was just a social one, though she could feel her body responding.
She drove home slowly. Was this just a trick of her imagination? Did Jules have feelings for her, or was it wishful thinking? Had he thought that she and David had something between them, both of them going home together that evening? And what about Cynthia? Did they have history too?
She warned herself not to read too much into it. She had not had a very varied love life, in fact not a varied one at all, as Esmond was the first and the only man she’d truly loved.
But whatever she and Jules felt for each other, even if it was something serious, must be measured, as there was Dickon. Having lost his mother, he was very close to his father and might not be ready to share him with someone else. Though there might have been Cynthia – could still be, she reminded herself. It was obvious that she wanted Jules.
Perhaps the best thing for all of them, she thought now, was to put their own feelings on hold until Dickon was older. She suspected that if Jules ever mentioned it again, he would say that to her. Perhaps, to make things easier, he’d take the job he’d been offered in Hampshire and settle down there.
48
The week passed slowly, Amelia found she was anxiously waiting for Jules to call, or to see him collecting Dickon from school, though it seemed there was a new arrangement with a child in the same class, who lived near him, to collect each other’s children on various days, and she only saw Janey picking up Dickon and the little girl that week.
She kept checking her mobile in case Jules had left her a message, before she wondered that he might not have her mobile number. She’d telephoned him from her landline when she had needed him for the tortoise, though could he not ring her at home in the evening if he wanted to? Though perhaps Cynthia had got rid of her number, putting her down as one of those time wasters Jules apparently disliked.
Perhaps she had imagined there was more to it than there was. There’d been a lot of tension over Luna’s escape and possibly her sort of finding him had made Jules feel close to her with gratitude. He’d probably thought better of it later, and as the days passed and she still heard nothing from him, she regretfully accepted that anything romantic between them, while Dickon relied on Jules so much, was a nonstarter.
David rang her and her heart dropped as she waited for him to ask her out again. To her surprise he said, ‘I think it right to tell you that my old girlfriend has got in touch with me. She thought she was in love with someone else, but it turns out he’s cheated on her already.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, poor woman,’ she said.
‘We’re going away together for Easter, I thought it only fair to tell you,’ he said.
She was overcome with relief. ‘Well, I’m so happy for you,’ she said. ‘I look forward to meeting her. I’ll always think of you as one of my dearest friends, David,’ she went on. ‘I hope you have a great time.’
‘Thank you for being so understanding,’ he said, as if their time together had been far more intimate
.
Sophie and Rufus had, to her surprise, raised a large amount of money, enough to rebuild the kennels. They had put advertisements in masses of shops, and the local newspaper and had received a good chunk of money from their crowdfunding. Their builder friend had moved in a couple of mates to help build it and they were ready to go.
‘But Jules is being a bore over it,’ Sophie raged at her when she returned one evening. ‘We emailed him the plans as we promised we would, and he came back to us and said they were hopeless, and we couldn’t possibly keep animals in that way. Rufus’s friend, Colin, is a highly qualified builder. He’s been drawing up plans with his dad since he was a child.’
‘Jules is a vet and knows what is best to keep the animals safe,’ Amelia said weakly. ‘Things are probably not like they used to be when Dodi and Jim started out. I’m sure he’s not forbidding you to build them, he’s just telling you the right way to do it. You don’t want to go to all that trouble and expense and then be told they are unsafe to use.’ She tried to soothe her, knowing how Sophie was apt to jump first, before she saw sense.
‘Of course, it won’t be unsafe, we know what we want.’ Sophie’s face creased with fury. ‘It’s none of his business, anyway, hopefully he’s moving away. There’s a new vet, a woman, who’s arrived. She’ll understand.’
Amelia had known a woman vet was coming but the news jolted her. Now she was here, would Jules feel he could leave and take up the job in Hampshire? It would be hard on Dickon who had finally settled at school to be uprooted again to start somewhere new. It had been two weeks now since that lunch party and she had heard nothing from Jules. Had he decided to move away so saw no point in contacting her, until perhaps he rang to say goodbye?