I Think I Really Do Have an Ulcer

by Geoffrey Watson

  He greeted Vere like a long lost brother and was even more demonstrative when he established that the Hornets were only too happy to attribute all the glory of the operation to his brigade.

  All the stores in the captured forts were taken and everything was destroyed before Hill quietly returned to Badajoz, well before Foy arrived with his avenging division from Talavera. The forts at the Miravete Pass were left intact. There was no point in taking them now that they had nothing left to guard. Nevertheless, they were very careful to offer no signs of belligerence as the victors marched back past them.

  By that time, the two battalions of Hornets were well on their way north to rejoin Lord Wellington, to be reunited, they thought, with the rest of their comrades of the Naval Division.

  They did not know that they would be disappointed. The other two battalions were already on their way north. The Germans and the Portuguese could enjoy a short period of relaxation before they would accompany the army, advancing on Castille and Marshal Marmont’s scattered garrisons at Salamanca and eastwards.

  CHAPTER 22

  The First Battalion of Hornets; the heirs of the original platoon that the Spanish patriots had named Los Avispónes Morenos; was back on the very same territory where they had earned the title of Brown Hornets over three years ago.

  Then, they had been but a single platoon. Nevertheless, even then they had been a specialist fighting force that had gathered together remnants of defeated Spanish infantry and cavalry regiments. They had attacked and harried almost to destruction, a French division that had been sent by Napoleon in an inspired sweep north of the Cantabrian Cordillera, to try and outflank and trap the retreating British army commanded by Sir John Moore.

  Now, they had brought just the British battalion of nearly six hundred men, to encourage the Asturian and Cantabrian guerrilleros to fight to reclaim their provinces from the French army of General Dorsenne.

  At the same time it was intended that a squadron of ships, commanded by Sir Home Popham, should cruise along the Biscay coast and assist the guerrilleros by attacking French coastal garrisons using thousands of marines, both British and Spanish.

  Lord Wellington had underlined the importance of this initiative by persuading the Admiralty also to detach the squadron of Commodore Sir Charles Cockburn, Welbeloved’s old captain, from Mediterranean duty, to work with Popham and Welbeloved’s Hornets and set Asturias and Cantabria alight, as he put it.

  Cockburn’s flagship, the 74 gun, third rate two-decker Titan was anchored in the mouth of the river Eo, a remarkably commodious anchorage that enclosed a large lagoon with quite a narrow opening to the sea. In many ways it was similar to the anchorage at Lisbon, but much, much smaller.

  The Hornets had been using the small port of Ribadeo ever since they had returned to Spain after the evacuation of La Coruña. The French had abandoned Galicia after Marshal Soult had been beaten at Oporto and Ribadeo had become a private supply base for the Hornets until they began to expand, when they had set up their main supply and training base in Portugal.

  Ribadeo was not an ideal location, other than for supporting operations in the north of Spain, but it was quiet and free of interference from the French.

  Then again, very few places along the north coast of Spain could be described as ideal as a supply base. In the winter, the Cantabrian chain of mountains made the north inaccessible from the rest of Spain for weeks, other than by a few roads in the east, from Santander and Bilbao or close to the French frontier by San Sebastian.

  The small schooner Calliope, was at anchor close to Titan. She would probably have a new captain now that Cockburn was back. He had been supplying suitable young lieutenants since the schooner had been working as a supply vessel for the Hornets based at Oporto.

  It was a good arrangement. A straight exchange for the more powerful brig Phoebe that had been captured by the Hornets three years ago. Cockburn added Phoebe to his squadron and the Admiralty hired Calliope from its joint owners, Cockburn and Welbeloved.

  That also solved the problem of how it should be manned and gave many promising lieutenants experience for short periods, in the joys of independent command.

  Welbeloved had sent ahead to warn his friend that he was close and that he was not to waste powder in unnecessary gun salutes. He was quite sure that his uniform as commodore was packed away in Calliope, but he was more than satisfied with his drab Hornet uniform and had never been as keen on the Navy’s beloved system of honours as many of his old colleagues.

  Cockburn was not to be denied entirely, however. Titan’s rail was crowded with old friends and honours were accorded by boatswain’s pipes and the ship’s band, together with great clouds of pipeclay as the marine detachment presented arms.

  MacKay followed Welbeloved up the ship’s side and was given a separate blast by the bosun, as befitted his new status as a full colonel; equivalent to a naval captain. This ceremonial was only slightly marred when he stopped to assist the Condesa and his wife Juanita onto the deck.

  Both of them, being in Hornet uniform with divided skirts, had scorned the offer of a bosun’s chair, preferring not to be hoisted on board like bales of ship’s stores. They scampered up after their husbands and accepted the hands extended to them by MacKay and Captain Guest, the Flag Captain, who had rushed to help.

  Greetings took quite a time. All four were no strangers to Titan and had made many friends. Cockburn eventually drove them all away and ushered the party through to the great cabin.

  “It is convenient that you should come at this time, Joshua. I have arranged to entertain John Guest’s senior officers at dinner in this cabin in three hours time. I hope that may be an opportunity for you to explain to them the reasons why we are all embarking on this adventure and what it is that Lord Wellington hopes to achieve.

  Most of them are only too happy to fight the French at any time, especially if there is some prospect of prize money, but I do like them all to know why they are doing it. It gives them a greater sense of purpose and provides them with a view outside this little world of the ship.

  Before we eat, I am hoping that you may give John Guest and me the benefit of a preliminary discussion. As you know, at sea we live in the past for much of the time. We find out what has happened, often long after the event. What we have invariably to work out for ourselves is why and what outcome is expected and what we can do to assist before Admiralty wakes up and likely as not sends us off in another direction.”

  They settled down around the cabin table and Welbeloved smiled benignly. “Nothing changes then, Charles? I remember that yew always told us as much as yew knew and it was never enough unless we’d found it out for ourselves.

  Don’t be too depressed though. It is just as bad in the army. When we get a bad naval officer, he is still a thoroughly trained professional seaman with years of hard service. They all know their trade when it comes to sailing and fighting.

  In the army, it seems to me that they are first taught not to think, but to do as they are told. Then they are taught to make others do exactly the same without questioning why. Very few get beyond that mind set and if they do they are not the ones that can afford to buy into the higher ranks.

  Most of our generals, I would not trust to find their way without orders to a seat of ease. I can think of perhaps two who could fight and win a battle. Only Wellington is good enough to fight a war. In the middle of a fight, I am certain that his thoughts are also on the next battle and maybe the one after that.

  He has always known that he cannot match the French for numbers. Until recently in Spain, they have had more than ten times the number of British and Portuguese troops combined and they have more or less crushed all the Spanish armies that have faced them.

  The French do, however, have problems. They have bitten off more than they can chew in Spain and they need six armies, each bigger than our own in order merely to control the regions that they have conquered.

  Wellington has to try and fight them
one army at a time and every victory gained by us so far has been fought by lesser numbers of Anglo-Portuguese against greater numbers of French.

  This is why, other than during sieges, Wellington has been forced to fight defensively. The French have come to accept it as the way he prefers to fight and are becoming noticeably shy when they know he has chosen his own position.

  Portugal is now clear of French and I think yew may expect to see our army advancing to attack. We shall try only to attack the Army of Portugal because we do not have the strength for more than that.

  Napoleon has helped by withdrawing a hundred thousand men for his war on Russia and all our intelligence leads me to the confident conclusion that he has forbidden Joseph and the marshals from doing the one thing that could make them more secure. That is to give up some of the territory that they have gained and concentrate their efforts in holding the rest until he has dealt with the Russians and can bring fresh armies to conquer the whole country.

  Marshal Marmont with his Army of Portugal has been made responsible for the region from the Portuguese frontier to Madrid, between the rivers Tagus and Duero and he has forty to fifty thousand men to enable him to hold it. They are not concentrated in one place but scattered in garrisons all around the region. That is because in Spain, fifty thousand men in one place would be starving inside of a fortnight.

  To his south, a long way south, is Marshal Soult, who is desperately occupied controlling his fiefdom of Andalucia and is shortly to be denied any contact with Marmont, other than through Madrid. Our other two Hornet Battalions are presently occupied with bringing that about.

  To his northwest, I have just now left my Spanish battalion to urge General Santocildes and his Spanish Sixth Army of sixteen thousand men to advance in the area north of the River Duero and south of the Cantabrian Mountains.

  General Dorsenne and the Army of the North should be sufficiently occupied with this threat, I hope, to stop Dorsenne sending any of his troops from this region to help Marmont.

  North of the Cantabrian Mountains, this same General Dorsenne has the rest of his region, stretching back as far as the French frontier. If yew and Popham; together with my First Battalion and as many guerrilleros as I can collect; can stop him from sending any of his northern troops to Marmont, Wellington shall have a bigger and more concentrated force than the Army of Portugal and may be enabled to fight an attacking battle with who knows what outcome?”

  He could see from their expressions that only now had they realised the full importance of this proposed army/navy co-operation.

  “Dorsenne has lost more men to Napoleon’s Russian adventure than any other commander and latest estimates indicate that he has only thirty to forty thousand troops to hold everything north of the mountains. He is harassed by the guerrilleros, who stretch his resources to the limit and beyond.

  Between us, if we can make the situation intolerable for him, it may be necessary for him to reclaim his two divisions; about ten thousand men; that have recently been transferred to Marmont’s command.”

  The quick glance exchanged between Cockburn and Guest spoke volumes. “So that is what this is all about, Joshua! I have been quite unable to make any plans based on the orders that I received only ten days ago.

  At that time we were engaged with the Mediterranean Fleet in preparing diversions: that is how they described a series of raids and landings along the south-eastern coast of Spain. I now see that it is a part of a larger strategy to help Lord Wellington’s campaign.

  Then I was required to move my squadron, together with two thousand marines and attach myself to the squadron of Admiral Sir Home Popham, presently at Corunna, for raids along the Biscay coast. It was the part requiring me to come here personally for discussions with a Major General Sir Joshua Welbeloved that told me that life was about to become much more interesting.

  The fair winds from Gibraltar were of a mind to assist in satisfying my curiosity and I anchored here three days ago, having left most of my squadron and marines with Popham at Corunna. I only have two hundred on board, but Phoebe can reach Corunna overnight and two thousand can be available within days. Many of them are considered elite troops, having been trained by your own men last year.

  So here we are and, bless us all, you are now a major general and outrank me. I suppose I should call you sir, although I cannot recall that you ever used that honorific to me.”

  Welbeloved chuckled. “Yew must believe that I am still junior to yew in the Navy, Charles. My rank is only that of Major General of Marines. It is a rank that does not exist officially, although Wellington tells me that it gives me seniority over yor Admiral by about a month. I confide that it is army politics. The Hornets, yew see, are now a special independent force of divisional strength, but have never been used together as one unit. I suspect that Wellington wants to make sure that none of his generals ever feel the urge to pull rank and try to issue orders to us.

  Whenever one of my battalions is operating independently, its commander always has a broad general written instruction from me that makes clear that they are working directly under instruction that I have accepted from the commander-in-chief. It is irritating to the self important, but the good ones are always grateful for the help we give.

  I think the whole business somewhat childish, but our generals set great store by it and it has its advantages when dealing with some of the rank-obsessed Spaniards. I don’t think that yew are aware of it, but Hamish here has been made brigadier in the Spanish army of Galicia. Should yew wish, yew could waste a deal of powder giving him a commodore’s salute each time he comes on board.”

  MacKay laughed. “I only got the rank because a high-born colonel wid nae be able tae take my orders wi’out compromising his honour, Sir Charles. I never use it other than wi’ the Spaniards. It can be useful when trying tae bring some o’ the jumped up partisan leaders under control.”

  Cockburn looked thoughtful. “It was probably more deserving than most, Hamish, although I don’t see that any of you villains need a rank. You are all terrifying enough to frighten anyone into instant obedience.”

  Welbeloved was now feeling thoroughly at ease in the company of his friends. The years during which Cockburn and he had been captain and first lieutenant had never been normal in terms of naval protocol. Cockburn had gone against tradition and protocol from the very beginning, when he had talked Welbeloved into joining him. Nelson himself, normally a stickler for naval tradition, had seen the potential in putting the two men together. He had added his considerable weight to persuade him to accept and thus started a friendship and co-operation between captain and first lieutenant that no other captain at that time could have tolerated for a minute.

  They became partners in all but name and successful admirals competed to have them under their flag. Sometimes the desire was pecuniary because of all the prizes that they took. An admiral in command could pocket one eighth of all prize money earned by his captains and many become very wealthy men.

  Cockburn beamed happily. “So tell me, Joshua, what trouble are you intent on getting me into again after four years in which we have both obviously prospered apart?”

  “None at all, Charles, none at all.” He smiled innocently. “I have brought along my deputy to do it for me. He wasn’t with yew in Hobby, but he has been working with me in almost all our scrapes since I was coerced into joining yew in Hirondelle.

  During that time, he has adopted almost all my bad habits and added one or two of his own. Indeed, Lord Wellington has been known to call him his favourite Scotchman.

  We are now in the last week in May and Wellington intends to advance on Salamanca within the next four weeks. Admiral Popham apparently shall not have all his marines ready to start his campaign before then and we need to give notice to General Dorsenne that he has problems in the west.

  Tomorrow, I shall return to my Third Battalion and spur General Santocildes into advancing into Léon, or take my men and start without him.


  Hamish is to take the First Battalion and march east, together with the guerrilleros of Juan Díez Porlier. We do not think that, north of the mountains, Dorsenne has many troops in the Asturias. Hamish is to clear any remnants from the region, which includes Avilés, Gijón and Oviedo.

  He shall appreciate yor support along the coast all the way into Cantabria, not only in taking any difficult harbour towns and villages, but in providing temporary garrisons of marines in any of the coastal towns that may need law and order re-establishing after the French have left.

  When Popham has collected his full contingent of Spanish and British marines, he shall doubtless be pleased to concentrate on the ports in Cantabria, from Santander to Bilbao and San Sebastian, knowing that his western flank is secure.

  By that time, when hopefully, Hamish and yew have successfully advanced into Cantabria, Porlier’s guerrilleros, together with those of Francisco Longa and Martín Espoz y Mina shall group together as the Spanish Seventh Army under General Mendizábal.

  This ought to give the general a force of well over ten thousand men and the Hornets shall then have the option of returning to help our Third Battalion and Santocildes’s Sixth Army.

  I understand that Admiral Popham may bring ten thousand or more marines, so that together with Mendizábal there is the potential to do enormous damage to the French Army of the North, provided that the pair of them work together.

  Lord Wellington may not be allowed to give yew direct orders, but knowing of our past rapport, he has requested that yew assume responsibility for any such collaboration.”

  He held up his hand to forestall any interruption from a slightly bemused Cockburn. “He does the same with us, Charles. It is always a request to the Naval Division, either verbal or written.

  In this case, he has seen fit to put it in writing, in case of difficulties with yor admiral. I am confident that Popham shall not wish to be seen to act against the wishes of the commander-in-chief.” He produced a despatch from Wellington and handed it over.