Zara’s hand touched over the third card. She seemed to contemplate the meaning as she scratched her chin and said, “Ohhh.”
Maddie leaned in, looking worried. “What?”
“This card on the right here, which represents the future, is showing me conflict. A big conflict. Something is looming, and it could be soon. You need to be wary.”
Is she serious? This seemed like bullshit to me. Any one of her statements could be applied to some aspect of a person’s life. I could take those same things and apply them to myself.
I felt the need to say something. “With all due respect, how is she supposed to believe that any of this holds significance? I mean, everything you just said is very generic.”
Zara narrowed her eyes at me. “I am merely reading what I am seeing. The cards are meant to act as visual cues to help me understand the energy surrounding her. I can’t help that the information seems generic to you. I’m the messenger, and she needs to figure out how it applies to her.”
“So you can’t tell me anything more about this…conflict?” Maddie asked.
Closing her eyes, Zara took Maddie’s hands. “Listen…there’s someone you know...who’s not who you think he is.”
A look of alarm crossed Maddie’s face. “What?”
“His name begins with M.” Zara closed her eyes again and paused. “I’m getting the name Matthew or something similar sounding.”
I gulped.
She said Matthew—not Matteo. Relax.
Then Maddie took things in a whole different direction when she announced, “Well, my father’s name is Matthew. Is something going on with him?”
No, no, it isn’t, Maddie. Because Zara’s probably referring to me.
“I’m not getting a father energy. But if your father is Matthew, then perhaps this complication could pertain to him.”
I wasn’t about to offer up that Zara could have been warning Maddie about me. First off, I had no clue what “not who you think he is” even meant. The Matthew thing could’ve been a coincidence, too. The bottom line was that Maddie and I hadn’t exchanged our real names, and it would’ve been really fucking weird to suddenly announce mine under these circumstances. So I was going to stick with my gut. And it was telling me to shut up and not interfere in this crazy shit.
“The future is not always written,” Zara said. “It’s fluid and can be changed based on the decisions you make. So just be forewarned when it comes to Matthew. I’m sorry. I’m not seeing anything else that can guide you in this area.”
Maddie looked tormented. “Okay. I will.” She turned to me and whispered, “I think I’ll call my dad soon, maybe remind him to go for his physical if he hasn’t already.”
I nodded. “Good idea. Can’t hurt.”
“Watch out for the birds,” Zara added.
Maddie squinted. “The birds?”
“Yes.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t be sure. I just received a visual cue that prompted me to warn you. I can’t always know what the messages mean, just that they are there and seem to be meant for you.”
She sighed. “So, Matthew and birds. Great. Okay.”
Zara suddenly placed her hands on her temples. “Okay…this is unusual.”
Maddie looked alarmed. “What?”
I was starting to regret bringing her in here.
“Someone is coming through. This doesn’t always happen, but it’s happening now. Now that she’s here, I likely won’t be able to get rid of her.”
Maddie glanced over at me, then back at Zara. “Someone? Coming through? What does that mean?”
“I’m clairvoyant as well. I don’t sell those services, as I typically don’t enjoy being a mediator for the dead. But occasionally a spirit can be pesky. This girl is definitely pesky—and loud.” She paused for a long time. “She wants the man to know that when he was singing the other night, she was with him.”
I got chills. My eyes, which had been focused on the cards still strewn about the table, flew up to meet Zara’s stare.
I froze.
It can’t be. I wanted it so badly...but it couldn’t be her.
“Is there a Z name that means something to you?” she asked.
Holy shit.
“Yes,” I answered.
She nodded. “Yeah. She’s showing me a Z.” Zara closed her eyes. “And David Bowie.” She laughed. “Why is she showing me David Bowie?”
Z
Bowie.
Zoe.
“Because her name is Zoe,” I said softly.
Maddie’s mouth dropped.
“She’s also showing me lots of snow. Does that have meaning to you?”
Speechless, I nodded. My heart began to pound faster.
Maddie placed her hand on my knee. I couldn’t see her face because my eyes were still on Zara. I waited with bated breath to see what she would come out with next.
Zara cocked her head to the side. “Did she die in a ski accident?”
I let out a long, shaky breath. “Yes.”
“She says you suspect this already, but she wants to confirm that she wasn’t in any pain when it happened—not even for a split second.”
Relief coursed through my veins. That’s what I’d always figured, but I appreciated that confirmation.
Then, to my shock, Zara started to cry.
She wiped tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry. I hate when this happens. But sometimes a spirit makes me cry when they get emotional. Their feelings manifest through me. This is why I don’t like doing this.”
A tear fell down my cheek. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d let that happen, especially in front of people. But I couldn’t help it. If this was Zoe coming through—and it seemed it was—it was the most amazing thing I’d ever experienced. My emotions were all over the place: happy and sad, relieved and scared, all at once.
“She’s making me cry because she’s so sad that you blame yourself. She says what happened with her could not have been stopped, that it was her time to go. Her story was written that way. So even if you had done something different or tried to stop her, she would have left this Earth anyway. She needs you to understand that what happened wasn’t your fault.”
I had to take a moment to grab my bearings. With my face in my hands, I let those words sink in.
“Do you understand that?” Zara asked.
I looked up. My lip trembled as I nodded silently while Maddie squeezed my knee.
I had always blamed myself for Zoe’s death, because I’d let her ski the double- black-diamond trail with me, even though it was too advanced for her. To this day, I’d still been ruminating about the what-ifs. If only I’d told her not to come with me, she’d still be here.
“Wow. She’s passionate. She really loved you,” Zara said.
And with that, I could feel more tears forming.
She smiled. “Ah…she’s playing music. Was that an important part of her life? Was she a musician?”
I wiped my eyes. “Yes. She was.”
Zara nodded to herself a few times as she concentrated. “She wants you to know that you have no choice but to move on, and that it’s okay to do so, alright? That’s why she came through today. She needs you to know that.”
There was a long moment of silence.
What felt like a couple of minutes passed before I finally asked, “Is she gone?”
“I haven’t been able to figure out her last message. She’s showing me hazelnuts. Do you understand what that means?”
Hazelnuts?
After several seconds of reaching for meaning in that, I shook my head. “Not in the least.”
Maddie looked between Zara and me.
“Sometimes a spirit sends me messages auditorily and sometimes through images that might sound like certain words they are trying to convey. Perhaps I’m misinterpreting what she’s showing me. But I believe the image is hazelnuts.”
I sighed. “Okay.”
Maddie looked u
tterly freaked out. This had to have been too much for her. It was supposed to have been in good fun. Instead, we got more than we bargained for; we got a séance.
But for me? It was a gift. To hear Zoe tell me that what happened wasn’t my fault and couldn’t have been stopped was something I would only have believed coming from her. And it seemed it did come from her. At least at this point, I had to believe it was real.
“Anything else?” I asked.
Zara’s eyes moved back and forth. “No. I think she’s gone.”
I exhaled, feeling a bit sad that Zoe had left, but also relieved. Anticipating the messages had been intense.
Zara reached into her pocket for her phone and checked the time. “We are actually ten minutes past your allotted time. I hope you’ve found this reading helpful.”
I stood up. “You can’t even imagine. Thank you for going outside of the box to let me hear Zoe’s message.”
She smiled. “She gave me very little choice.”
Maddie stood up, and we headed out the door together.
The mood was completely weird as we walked in silence down the road.
“That was intense.” Maddie put her hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
I blew out a long breath. “That was... I don’t even know what to say.”
“It was amazing. Totally and utterly amazing. And meant to be, Milo. So meant to be. We were meant to find this place so Zoe could get that message to you. In fact, that might have been the universe’s entire reason for this trip. We were brought together to find this place, to find Zara, and to get Zoe’s message.”
That was wild. I was starting to get emotional again. Seeing as though I’d done enough crying for one damn day, I tried to lighten the mood.
I wrapped my hand around her back. “So you mean to tell me we’ve gone to a sex party, bought godawful boots, and you’ve been caught talking in public about masturbating all so I could hear from Zoe?”
“Yes!” She laughed. “Yes! That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“You might be right.” I smiled. “I wish I knew what the hazelnut thing was about, though.”
She stared off for a moment. “Well, if it really does mean something, and you’re meant to figure it out, I suppose you will in time.”
I nodded and ruffled her hair. “This day has been way too crazy. We need to do something chill. Where should we go tonight?”
“To be honest, I’m sort of bushed. I kind of just want to go back to the room.”
Shit. I was hoping we could avoid having to be alone in that room a little while longer. But what was the point of putting it off? We had to go there eventually.
“Alright. Sounds good. Want to grab some food and take it back?”
She rubbed her stomach. “I’m still full from that jambalaya earlier.”
“Yeah. I’m not too hungry either.”
Not for food anyway.
But I’ll keep that to myself.
“Although…” she said.
“What?”
She grinned. “I could go for some ice cream.”
“Ice cream sounds really good.”
We ended up finding a little ice cream shop within walking distance. I got a double scoop of chocolate chip with chocolate sprinkles while Maddie opted for a single scoop of cherry.
As we walked in the direction of our hotel, the sun was setting. It was a gorgeous, breezy evening. I was still thinking about everything that happened over at Zara’s. Somehow I could feel Zoe’s presence with me now, when it had seemed so out of reach before today. I had no doubt she’d been guiding this journey. Although, how did Maddie play into it? It was kind of weird to think Zoe might’ve orchestrated my meeting another woman. Maybe I was reading into it too much.
My thoughts were interrupted when Maddie screamed. It took me a few seconds to figure out what was happening. A pigeon had landed on top of her ice cream cone. It flapped its wings and proceeded to take a big chunk of the ice cream into its beak.
Then it flew away.
“What the hell was that?” she asked.
I was too busy laughing to answer.
Then it hit me. “Don’t say Zara didn’t warn you about birds.”
Chapter 11
* * *
Hazel
As soon as I locked myself in the bathroom, I breathed a sigh of relief. It was the first time I’d been alone in a while. Though I loved being joined at the hip with Milo, sometimes I needed to process my thoughts without him being able to read them all over my face.
I turned on the shower and got in. As the water rained down, I thought about what had happened today. Zoe’s coming through was one of the most incredible things I’d ever experienced—not only because it helped prove there was something out there beyond this life, but because it served as a reminder of the kind of love that transcends this universe. Milo and Zoe’s love had been authentic and based on respect. Milo wouldn’t have done to her what Brady did to me.
On the other side of the coin, what happened to Zoe was a reminder that life was short. We may not have forever to forgive the ones we cared about. Did that mean giving Brady a second chance was something I should consider? And then there was Zara’s warning about a conflict and the name Matthew… I reminded myself to call my dad tomorrow from the road.
After about a half hour, there was a knock at the door. Then Milo’s voice registered.
“You still alive in there?”
Shit. I had been in here a long time.
Shutting off the water, I yelled, “I’m fine.” I squeezed out my hair. “Just got a little carried away.”
“Don’t stop on my account. Just making sure you’re okay.”
Maybe subconsciously I’d been taking my sweet time in here to avoid being alone with Milo. He’d looked so sexy when he emerged from the shower earlier. I’d only gotten a quick glimpse of his wet, shirtless body as he walked past my room in our suite with a towel wrapped around his waist. I knew it was going to be hard to avoid wanting to be near him tonight. How I would love to cuddle next to him, at the very least. Falling asleep next to Milo tonight sounded really good. But I was certain that would lead to other things, so it had to remain a fantasy.
After I dried off and slipped into my cami and sleep shorts, I found my small tub of facial mask. It was the kind you rubbed over your face and slept with all night. That could be my armor, an additional layer of protection. No one can get frisky with green muck on their face, right?
I tied my hair up and began spreading the mask over my face. It quickly hardened. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw some kind of monster. Perfect.
After I opened the door and walked out into the common area, Milo’s eyes widened.
“That’s a good look, Mads.”
“Well, thank you. I figured since we’re bunking together tonight, why not show you what happens behind closed doors?” I teased. “I don’t wake up looking like I do, you know. It’s hard work.”
“And here I was thinking you were just naturally gorgeous.”
His words heated my body.
“I’m surprised you put a shirt on before I had a chance to admire you this time,” I joked.
“Yeah, well…” He sighed and put his legs up on the ottoman. “You have nowhere to run tonight, so I figured it wouldn’t be fair.” He winked.
“Thanks for sparing me.” I sat down on the far end of the couch, away from him. “How are you feeling?”
He turned to me. “You mean because of Zoe?”
“Yeah. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that whole thing. I can only imagine what you’re feeling.”
He rested his head back and stared up at the ceiling. “It was surreal. I never imagined something like that could happen. It definitely brought me a sense of peace. I’m not sure how Zara could have been making all of that up. If it were just one thing, I’d still have doubts, but the name, the skiing accident reference, and the fact that Zoe said she was with me when I wa
s singing the other night? All those things? Too much to be a coincidence. And believe me, I was the biggest skeptic about this kind of stuff before today.”
“I totally agree. I might have thought the same thing, that it was all baloney. But what happened today seemed real as could be. And that’s beautiful.”
“Thank you for going along with my crazy idea to go in there. Otherwise, it might never have happened.”
He reached toward me. I took his hand, and our fingers intertwined. I knew it wasn’t meant to lead to anything. It was just a kind gesture, his thanks for my support. But the contact sent shockwaves through my body.
I instinctively let go. “Well…no need to thank me,” I said. “That’s what I’m here for, to go along with your crazy ideas. Some of them just happen to lead to beautiful things.” I smiled. “Speaking of which, any idea where we’re headed next?”
“Let’s see what we feel like tomorrow. I think hanging out here another day might be fun. I’m nowhere near done with seeing this city. You?”
I nodded. “I don’t think I’m ready to leave yet either.”
“Good.” Milo got up. “Hang on. Be right back.” He headed for the bathroom.
I turned on the TV and settled into the couch. Milo took a while to come back.
When he returned, I did a double take. His face was green—just like mine. He’d put on my face mask.
“What did you do?”
“I wanted to see what all the hype was about.”
I cackled. “And?”
“I can no longer feel my cheeks. How can this be good?”
“It’s busy doing its job, sucking out all of the clogged pores.”
He returned to his seat at the other end of the sofa. “That’s not its only job, though, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“If you think putting that shit all over your face makes me want to kiss you any less, you’re wrong. Nice try, though.”
Well, good thing my face was covered in mud, because I’m sure I was turning red underneath.
We were both quiet for a while after that. Eventually I took a deep breath. “You said you were keeping your distance because using sex to get over a relationship wasn’t healthy, and I agree with you. But did you ever wonder…what if? What if you met the right person at the wrong time? All along, the two of us have been thinking we met to help each other move on. But what if we met for another reason?”
My Favorite Souvenir Page 10