It was just after nine, and our plan was to grab a late dinner somewhere out in the city.
“Do you know what kind of food you’re in the mood for?” he asked.
For these last hours together, I’d decided I didn’t want to share him.
“I was thinking about it, and I’d really like to just hang out Chez Duncan tonight. Maybe we can grab a pizza and take it back to your place?”
“Sure.” He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “We can do that.”
We stopped and picked up a pie, half pepperoni and half cheese, since I preferred mine without toppings.
Back at Matteo’s place, we casually ate on the floor, the vibe still somber. Each of us had only one slice. I wasn’t that hungry, and apparently he wasn’t either.
When my phone rang, I knew right away who it was, even before I looked at it. Once I confirmed I was right, I hit ignore.
“Is that him?” Matteo asked, his tone bitter.
I answered hesitantly. “Yes.”
“Why the fuck does he keep calling you when it’s clear you don’t want to talk to him?”
Of course I had no answer.
One thing I’d noticed during this trip was Matteo’s growing lack of tolerance for Brady. Something had changed. In the beginning, he’d seemed to have had more sympathy for his friend. Now it was like the mere mention of Brady irked him. I could only assume that as Matteo’s feelings for me grew, he’d come to see Brady as more of an adversary.
I sighed. “I’m sorry, Matteo. You deserve better than to have to deal with this situation.”
He looked contemplative. “I don’t think we should communicate after you leave here.”
My heart sank. “What?”
He got up and reached into his side table drawer for a piece of paper. Then he returned to the spot next to me on the floor.
“I bought you a ticket to New Orleans for Valentine’s Day. Here’s all of the information for the reservation,” he said, handing it to me.
“What does this have to do with not communicating?”
“I think you need to take the time when you get home to figure everything out, without any interference from me. You make me feel as though you want me, that you want this—us. But Brady is clearly still in the picture. I don’t want you to make any decision you’ll regret, one way or the other. You can see from being here in Seattle that a life with me would be different than what you’re used to. I obviously can’t give you the financial stability that someone like Brady could. I don’t even know where we would live. Everything would be up in the air. But I will tell you one thing… I don’t want to be with anyone who isn’t absolutely sure she wants to be with me.”
This trip had only made my feelings for Matteo stronger. So I was confused as to why he seemed more worried.
“Have I done something to give you the impression that I’m still confused? Because every second I’ve spent with you here has made me more sure that you’re the one for me, Matteo.”
He looked like he wanted to believe my words, but something was holding him back.
He shook his head. “You say that now. You’re still with me here. But look what happened when you went back home the first time. Brady came crawling back, and you let him into your life.”
There was no disputing that. I’d definitely been confused when I got home from our road trip. At the time, Matteo—Milo—had been new and scary. And Brady was old and familiar. Even though he’d abandoned me, Brady had still seemed like the safer option. And I’d somehow felt like I’d owed him a second chance. But safe or not, my soul didn’t light up with Brady the way it did with Matteo. Over the past several weeks, I’d learned that my happiness was more important than stability.
“At this moment, there is no part of me that’s not yours,” I said. “But I know only time will show you where my heart is.”
Matteo was quiet for a couple of minutes.
He finally turned to me. “I always assumed having someone I loved die was the most devastating thing that could happen. But losing someone I love, who’s still alive, might be just as bad, if not worse.”
It took me a few seconds to realize Matteo had just told me he loved me—hidden inside a painful statement. But nevertheless, he’d said it. This might have been the best opportunity to return the sentiment, but it felt like the wrong time. I didn’t want him to think I was saying it only because he had.
He deserved to hear those words from me when I had nothing else tying me down. I wasn’t with my ex anymore, but until Brady knew the truth, Matteo and I were living in the shadow of a lie with a huge weight on our shoulders.
Before I could figure out how to respond to Matteo, my phone rang again.
Shit.
Brady again.
Terrible timing.
I knew every time Brady called, it was like a knife to Matteo’s heart. This time, rather than saying anything, he stood up and walked to the bathroom. When the door slammed shut, my body shook. But I couldn’t blame him. The bathroom was really the only place to escape in a studio apartment.
A few minutes later, I heard the shower running. It was an odd time to have decided to shower, but I understood. Matteo probably knew he was about to say or do something he’d regret, so instead he’d opted to cool off.
I didn’t want to leave on bad terms, especially since he didn’t want to communicate until New Orleans. I knew he was angry at how life had tricked us, but I also knew every bit of that anger was because of how much he cared for me.
What felt like an invisible pull led me to pick myself off of the ground and head for the bathroom. I was only going to make sure he was okay—at least that’s what I told myself.
But after I opened the door to the steam-filled room and took in the sight of his naked silhouette through the foggy glass door, I knew there was no turning back.
For a few minutes, I just watched him as he massaged soap through his hair.
But the longer I stood there, the more my need for him became unbearable.
He finally spoke to me. “What are you doing?”
Slipping my shirt over my head, I didn’t answer. I stepped out of my pants before moving my panties down my legs. Then I slid the door open and stepped inside.
Our eyes locked as his breathing became heavy. His gaze moved down. The water rained over his gorgeous face as he took in my stark naked body for the very first time.
“Fuck. You trying to kill me tonight or something, Hazel?”
As I gawked at his beautiful, carved body, all I wanted to do was spend every last minute here in Seattle worshipping it.
I dropped to my knees and answered his question by taking him into my mouth.
He let out a loud groan that echoed through the bathroom as he bent his head back. I worked my mouth over his cock, letting it reach the back of my throat. I sucked harder with each second. Never had I done anything as bold as this.
He gripped my wet hair. “Fuck. Slow down, baby. This is too much.” But he used his hand to guide my head over him, to push himself in deeper, proof that he didn’t really want me to stop.
He thrust his hips hard one last time, nearly causing me to gag before he pulled out of my mouth.
“Stand up, Hazel.”
I did as he said, and he backed me slowly against the wall. His tone was gruff…taunting. “You think you can just waltz in here naked, let me fuck your beautiful mouth, and make everything better?”
My breaths grew heavier. “I figured if you’re going to be angry, you might as well take it out on me.”
Matteo spoke over my lips. “That’s what you want? To fuck the anger out of me?”
Turned on more with each dirty word, I turned around and placed my hands against the tile.
I felt his hot, throbbing cock against the crack of my ass. Then his mouth landed on my neck and he sucked my skin, slow and hard. My clit buzzed with an intense need. I leaned my ass into him, wanting him inside of me.
“What did I tell you,
Hazel?”
Barely able to speak, I muttered, “Huh?”
I could feel his laughter on my skin. “What’s the magic word?”
In my haze, I’d completely forgotten about our pact.
“Hooker,” I breathed, barely audible.
“What’s that?” He pressed his cock harder into the crook of my ass. “I can’t hear you.”
“Hooker!” I said louder.
He covered my back in firm, slow kisses before I felt the burn of him entering me. The friction hurt ever so slightly as he buried himself inside. With my hands still against the wall, I moved my hips to meet his thrusts, the feeling so incredible I knew it wouldn’t last very long. Normally, I had the opposite problem.
His breaths were frantic, the calm and cocky demeanor of a few seconds ago, seemingly replaced by the same uncontrollable need I’d been experiencing from the moment I set foot in the shower.
He wrapped his arms around my waist to push himself even deeper.
“You’re mine, Hazel,” he whispered. “You’re fucking mine.”
His words sent a chill through my body. I liked possessive Matteo. If only I had more time to experience him.
Chapter 28
* * *
Matteo
Being inside of Hazel was better than I’d ever imagined. I loved the way her body reacted any time I spoke. She was so tight, and I felt like I was going to blow my load whenever she so much as moved. But somehow I was able to control myself.
When I finally did lose it, emptying my cum inside of her as I stared down at the smooth skin of her beautiful ass, it happened suddenly and unexpectedly.
“Shit,” I muttered. I was disappointed until I realized she was coming, too.
The moan she let out made the last of my orgasm even more intense.
I held her there for several minutes, not wanting to pull out. Hazel had always felt like mine, but now she’d given her body to me, and that upped the ante. If I thought I’d felt possessive before, it was even worse now.
We were running out of time, and I knew I needed her several more times before I had to give her up again.
Maybe everything would turn out perfectly. She’d show up in New Orleans and declare I was the one. But what if she didn’t? What if she got home and Brady brainwashed her? My gut told me her heart was with me, but if for any reason tonight was all there was, I was going to damn well make it matter.
I shut the faucet off and squeezed the water from her hair. It turned a different fiery color of red when wet.
“Come,” I said as I led her out of the shower, grabbing a towel and wiping her down as my own body dripped beads of water onto the floor.
Once we were both fully dry, she squealed in surprise as I picked her up and carried her out of the bathroom, pausing in the living room to kiss her before I was forced to put her down in order to open up the couch.
I’d never worked faster to turn it into a bed. Bach looked pissed as he sat at the windowsill watching all this go down. He’d have me all to himself soon enough; he needed to suck it up.
Taking her hand, I led Hazel onto the bed. She lay on her back while I hovered over her on all fours. I was already hard as a rock again.
“It’s surreal to finally have you naked under me like this.”
“Is it strange that I want you again already?” She looked almost embarrassed to ask, which was fucking adorable.
“Can you not feel how hard I am again? I need the opposite of a Viagra pill right now—something to calm me the fuck down.”
“Speaking of pills,” she said. “In case you didn’t know, I’m on birth control. So what we just did—”
“I know, Hazel. I saw them in your makeup bag during our trip, so I knew you were on them. But I’m not sure I could’ve resisted you tonight, even if you weren’t.” I planted a long kiss on her lips. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to let you go after this.”
She wrapped her hands around my neck. “Don’t let me go until you have to. Let’s make every minute of this night count.”
On that note, I spread her legs and pushed myself inside of her again, enjoying the feel of her body in a different way now that we were skin to skin without the interference of the water. And I had to say, feeling the heat of her pussy without any barrier—it was even better than the first time.
Hazel squeezed my ass with her delicate hands as I rammed into her. She opened her legs wider, eager for me to fuck her harder. Realizing how uninhibited she was pleased me to no end.
I sure as hell wasn’t thinking about Brady right now. Nothing mattered except getting to come inside of this amazing woman, getting to show her with my body how much I wanted and needed her.
“You’re so freaking wet. It’s a beautiful thing.”
“It’s all you. You’re doing this to me.”
“I’ve been waiting to do this forever,” I groaned.
With every movement in and out of her, I was tempted to beg her to stay, to let me love her like this every day and forget the mess that waited for her back in Connecticut. But I knew I needed to set her free. If she went back to Brady, she wasn’t the one for me anyway. But I hoped to God I was right about her. Right now, I had to trust my gut. And my gut told me Hazel had been mine from the moment we met.
I was able to hold off my orgasm until she began to quiver under me. We climaxed together. As I came this time, I imagined I was leaving a piece of myself with her. It was fucked up how much I wanted to claim her. It was also fucked up how little I cared about Brady in this moment. Maybe that made me a shitty person; but nothing else seemed to matter besides Hazel.
• • •
The next morning, Hazel was wrapped in my arms. I wasn’t planning on moving from the bed until we absolutely had to get up. And of course, it was one of those rare mornings where some sun peeked into the window. Why wasn’t it one of the usual cloudy, rainy days here in Seattle instead?
We were tired because we’d spent a good majority of the night making up for all the moments we’d ever held back. And now I wished we’d given in a lot sooner—like back in Vail on night one. Because we’d really missed out.
“I’m so sore in the best way.” She smiled.
“I hope I wasn’t too hard on you last night.”
She shook her head. “It was the best sex I’ve ever had.”
After we fell into a long kiss, I wanted to make sure she knew where I stood before she got on the plane.
I looped my fingers with hers. “Listen, Hazel. I need to say this…”
A look of concern crossed her face. “Okay…”
“I don’t know what the next several weeks are going to hold for us. But I don’t want you to think that my giving you space in any way means I’m not here for you if you really need me. I’m here, okay?”
“Thank you for clarifying that. I don’t know if I can go without talking to you for that long.”
“But I do think it’s best if we try not to communicate.”
When she looked down, I used my hand to lift her chin. “ Listen, I want to be your ride or die, okay? So badly. But there’s only one thing I want more than that. And that’s for you to be happy, to live the life you truly want—whether that’s with me or someone else. Don’t let Brady manipulate you into thinking you owe him anything. Just be true to yourself and what you want. Listen to your heart.” I took her hand and placed it on my chest. “But mine? It will continue to beat for you until New Orleans.”
Chapter 29
* * *
Hazel
The flight home to Connecticut was long and painful. I just wanted to be back in Matteo’s arms. Leaving him felt so unnatural and premature, like we’d been ripped apart.
When the Uber dropped me off in front of my house, I was shocked to see Brady’s car parked outside. I had finally responded to his texts at the airport, letting him know I’d be home today. So he must have taken it upon himself to meet me here. I couldn’t say this was a pleasant surprise.
My heart pounded. I was unprepared to see him. I wondered if he’d be able to tell just by looking at me. I was covered in Matteo.
When I opened the door, I feigned a smile at the sight of him. “Hey. This is a surprise.”
He took a few steps toward me. “Yeah, it must be.”
“How come you didn’t tell me you planned to stop by?”
When he didn’t try to hug me, I knew something was off.
“Did you have a nice trip?” he asked coldly.
“Yeah.”
With each second, I became more weirded out by his vibe.
I became especially alarmed when I entered my kitchen and noticed photos lined up in a row on my counter. Not just any photos—the photos I’d taken of Matteo.
I broke out in a cold sweat. “What…what is all this?”
Brady folded his arms across his chest. “I don’t know. I was hoping you could tell me that. I came here to talk to you because you haven’t been responding to any of my messages. I’ve felt awful ever since the night of my birthday, and I wanted to apologize in person. Your camera was on the living room table, so I thought I’d snap a few pictures of myself like we used to do with each other’s phones. You remember how we used to do that, right, Hazel? I’d leave my phone out while I went to the bathroom for a minute, and the following day I’d find a nice surprise of fifteen different pictures of you smiling, sticking your tongue out, and making cross-eyes. You always looked so happy in those photos. But that’s not what I got this time, is it?”
Brady seemed to be waiting for an actual answer, but I didn’t have one. I must’ve looked like a deer caught in the headlights. After a minute of staring intensely at me, he walked over to one of the photos of Matteo and picked it up. It was a picture I’d taken of him playing on stage in New Orleans.
“I saw this one first. But I’m so goddamned naïve that I just assumed you must’ve taken it the night we went on a double date at that café in the Village, even though I didn’t remember you having your camera. You know what I thought when I looked at this photo?” He waved the glossy print around in the air. When I didn’t answer, he asked again, this time louder. “I said, do you know what I thought when I saw this photo?”
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