Now bring your attention to the sensations of the breath in the abdomen. Notice the stretching of the abdomen wall on the in-breath, and the falling away on the out-breath. Allow your attention to remain here for a short while, resting on the sensations of the breath.
When you’re ready, gather the attention, and move it like a spotlight down the body to the feet. Notice the sensations in both feet when the attention arrives. Notice the sensations in the toes, the soles of the feet, the heels, the top of the feet. What’s here right now?
If there are no sensations, then simply register a blank. If they are very subtle, then simply notice this. This is your experience right now; there’s no right way to feel. Simply allow the attention to remain here for a few breaths.
Now, taking a deeper breath, let go of the feet on the out-breath. Let them “dissolve” in awareness. Shift the attention to the ankles. What sensations are here?
Again, taking a deeper breath, let go of the ankles on the out-breath and shift the attention to the lower legs. Stay here for a few moments. Notice any sense of contact with whatever you’re lying on. Be fully alive to any and all sensations, from the surface of the skin to inside the lower legs.
Now, taking a deeper breath, on the out-breath release the attention from the lower legs, and shift to the knees, letting the attention rest here. Don’t think about the knees, but sense what’s here right now. Notice which sensations change and which stay the same. See what’s true for you, right now.
At a certain point, take another deeper breath. On the out-breath let go of the knees and shift the attention to the thighs. What do you notice? There may be sensations of contact between clothes and the skin, sensations of heaviness or lightness, pulsing, vibration. Notice these and any other sensations.
And now, when you’re ready, on an in-breath imagine the breath coming into the body, flowing all the way into the legs, right down to the feet. Imagine it flowing back again on the out-breath up and out of the body. You’re imagining, or sensing, what it would feel like if the breath could fill the legs as you breathe in, and empty from the legs as you breathe out. If you choose, just play with this sensation for the next few breaths.
Take a deeper breath, and as you breathe out let go of the legs. Allow them to dissolve in awareness, and shift the attention to the hips and pelvis. Notice sensations in the right hip, the left hip and the whole basin of the pelvis and the organs in this region. Imagine, if you wish, that the breath could flow into this region on the in-breath and out again on the out-breath.
Now, taking a deeper breath, on the out-breath let go of the hips and pelvis and shift the spotlight of attention to the back. Start with the lower back for a few breaths. Then, on an in-breath, expand the field of awareness to take in the middle of the back. Do the same to take in the upper back including the shoulder blades. You are now holding the whole of the back in awareness, “breathing with” the back.
Now take a deeper breath into the back. As you let go of the breath, let go of the back as well. Move your attention to the front of the body, to the lower abdomen, observing what sensations are waiting for you, as your attention moves into this region. Feel the changing sensations as you breathe.
From time to time, you may find yourself getting distracted by thoughts, daydreams, worries or the feeling of wanting to hurry up—to move on. Feelings of boredom or restlessness may come, sometimes pulling quite strongly. When this happens, it’s not a mistake. Nothing’s gone wrong. Simply take the opportunity to notice these feelings and distractions. Acknowledge them, perhaps noticing how they are affecting the body. Then, without judging yourself in any way, bring the attention back to where you had intended it to be—in the lower abdomen, breathing.
Take a deeper breath. On the out-breath let go of the abdomen and shift the attention to the chest. What sensations are here, moment by moment, as you cradle this part of the body in awareness?
Take a deeper, more intentional breath into the chest. When you’re ready, as you let go of the breath, let go of the chest as well, and shift the attention to the hands and arms. Hold them “center stage” in awareness for a few breaths, fully alive to all the sensations in your arms and hands.
Take a deeper breath, and on the out-breath let go of the hands and arms. Shift attention to the shoulders and neck—what sensations are here? Be here for them, whatever they are. Breathe with them, reminding yourself that you don’t have to control anything. Simply allow things to be just as they are.
Then take another deep breath. On the out-breath let go of the shoulders and neck. Move the attention to the head and face. Start with the lower jaw and chin, then the mouth and lips, the nostrils, the surface of the nose, the cheeks, the sides of the face, the ears, the eyes, the eyelids, the eyebrows, the space between the eyebrows, the forehead, the sides of the forehead and the scalp.
Now see if it is possible to imagine that the breath could fill the whole head, that you could feel the breath on the back of the face as it comes in, refreshing and renewing with each in-breath.
If you wish, you can extend this to imagine that the breath could fill the whole body, breathing in to the whole body, and out from the whole body, for one or two minutes.
Finally, let go of any intentions for the breath. Simply lie here. With a sense of coming home to the body, allow the body to be just as it is. Allow yourself to be just as you are—complete and whole, resting in awareness, moment by moment.
As you bring this period of meditation to an end, perhaps congratulate yourself for taking this time to nourish yourself in this way. Remind yourself that this practice—to be more fully in the body—is a gesture of deep healing for yourself, available to you at any time. It is a way for you to find peace and wholeness, as your life unfolds from moment to moment and from day to day.
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Expectations and reality
Many people get to the second week of our course expecting to be able to clear their minds miraculously of all thoughts (still believing that this is the ultimate “aim” of meditation). They desperately want meditation to calm their troubled thoughts and soothe their frayed edges. Take Benjamin, who found that he could not focus. “My mind would not shut off,” he said. “I didn’t enjoy it at all.” Fran agreed: “I was so restless; I found it difficult to lie still. It was better when I moved past my legs, but I couldn’t really get relaxed until we were nearly finished. I thought of everything: work, shopping, paying the bills, difficulties I’d been having with a colleague.”
These experiences are perfectly normal. Many of us find an endless stream of thoughts competing for our attention. At times, it may feel as if it is doing us no good at all. After all, surely if it was doing us any good, we’d be able to enjoy it. Isn’t that what meditation is all about?
Once again, it is important to keep in mind that there isn’t necessarily a connection between how much you are enjoying the practice and its longer-term benefits. It can take time for the mind to reconnect fully with the body as countless networks in the brain have to rewire and strengthen themselves. This process doesn’t have to be difficult, but it often is. Why? Here is one way of looking at it:
When you are training your attention, it’s like going to the gym after a long time away. It’s as if you are exercising a muscle that has been underused. As with resistance training in the gym, in which you push your arms or legs against a carefully chosen weight so the muscles can redevelop their strength, so in the Body Scan you are asking your attention to focus for longer periods than usual on something that you usually ignore—your body. So if you become restless or bored, you can welcome these feelings because they are providing the very “resistance training” you need to enhance your concentration and awareness. If it does not feel a little strange or uncomfortable to focus your attention for such long periods, then it’s quite possible that you’re not exercising it enough. Any mind-wandering, restlessness or boredom that arises can be acknowledged as allies of your attention training. So
when these distractions crop up, as best you can, gently acknowledge that your mind has wandered, perhaps by silently giving them such names as “thinking, thinking,” “worrying, worrying” or whatever seems appropriate; or you might like to acknowledge feelings by mentally saying to yourself, “Ah, here’s restlessness,” or “Boredom is here.” After you’ve acknowledged your wandering mind, gently shepherd your attention back to the part of the body you drifted away from.
There will be some days when you’ll find it difficult to meditate—when you’ll feel angry or frustrated with yourself. When this happens, there is no need to be harsh on yourself. See if it is possible to let go of such ideas as “success” and “failure,” or such abstract notions as “trying to purify the body.” It is easy to think, This is not the way it should be—as if there is a right way for you to feel. Then you may notice tension in the shoulders, neck or back, which will seem to confirm that the meditation “isn’t working.” On the contrary, these signs are indications that the Body Scan is revealing something important. For maybe the first time in years, you’re noticing in real time how the mind creates tension in the body. Soon you’ll notice that the body also creates tension in the mind in a self-sustaining loop. Awareness of this is a major discovery. As you spend more time observing these tensions, you will gradually realize that the simple act of awareness helps to diffuse them. You’ll have to do nothing more than observe with friendly curiosity. All else follows.
Some people are genuinely incapable of feeling any sensations from some parts—or even most—of their bodies, at least initially. This comes as quite a shock, as it’s often the first time they’ve noticed this. They can feel pain and their sense of touch remains intact, but the normal, “run-of-the-mill” gentle humming sensations of a body that’s fully alive eludes them. If this is the case with you, then continue following the meditation on the website, doing what it says to do. Perhaps it will be helpful to imagine yourself as a naturalist, patiently waiting for a shy animal to appear, keeping the camera rolling even though nothing seems to be happening. Remember that you are not looking for anything special to happen. Eventually, you may find that some part of your body suddenly flickers with sensations, even if only fleetingly. Once you’ve found it, feel free to stay with it a little longer than the audio online suggests and explore its qualities a little more deeply. Then continue with the Body Scan. Over the course of this week, you may come to sense more and more of your body and progressively reconnect with it.
Ailsa found that there were some days when her mind was particularly unruly. Gradually, however, she came to accept this as part of an old habit of seeing everything as a threat or a challenge. She found that repeated practice with the Body Scan taught her that trying to wrestle with a restless mind meant that she’d go round in self-defeating circles. Eventually, she came to see, deep within, that meditation was not a competition. It was not a complex skill that she needed to perfect. The only discipline involved was regular and frequent practice. She learned how to “be with” agitation—to explore it, rather than chase it away as if it was an unwelcome visitor. She learned to do the practice with a spirit of openness and curiosity.
Sometimes, especially early on, she kept falling asleep while doing the Body Scan. At first, she found this frustrating, but gradually realized that if you’re working long hours and not getting enough sleep at night, you’re going to be tired, so this was entirely natural. When she awoke again, she simply carried on where she left off. But sometimes, she’d just enjoy the nap without giving herself a hard time. Not criticizing herself or feeling guilty about it meant that she felt more enthusiastic about coming back to the meditation another time.
Such befriending of the body and mind is central to meditation. So when you feel that you are “failing” in your meditation, you can use even these feelings as a gateway to awareness, and to nonjudgmental acceptance of yourself as you already are, making space for these feelings of “failure”; seeing how such familiar judgments come and go as bundles of thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations. See how they bring tendencies to act in certain ways. See if it’s possible to watch as they arise and dissolve in the mind and body.
The Body Scan reveals the Doing mode
Listing all the things that you might experience when practicing the Body Scan, especially all of the possible difficulties, may make it seem like a hard slog. It isn’t always like this though. Many people find it the most relaxing experience they’ve had in a long time. One participant said it was like having a spa, floating in warm water—and cheaper too! Another said that it felt like getting reacquainted with an old friend she had not been in touch with for decades. She felt a sense of profound connection to the deepest part of herself, and the tears that came were tears of joy.
So why mention all the difficulties? First, we don’t want you to be disappointed if the Body Scan does not immediately seem to be liberating you from stress. But there is also a second reason, and it is this reason that makes the Body Scan one of the most important practices you’ll be asked to do.
Remember the “Doing” mode of mind—the mode that never seems to let you off the hook—that gets you stuck in relentless and frantic busyness? If you look back to p. 28, you’ll be reminded of the characteristics of “Doing” mode. They include judging everything, comparing the way things are with the way you want them to be and striving to make them different from how they actually are. They include being on automatic pilot much of the time, getting lost in thoughts that you take too literally and personally. Doing mode includes living in the past or future, and avoiding what you don’t like. Finally, the Doing mode sees the world indirectly, through a veil of concepts that short-circuit your senses so that you no longer directly experience yourself and the world.
Do you recognize these aspects of the Doing mode?
Each of these can be regular visitors during the Body Scan. But this means, equally, that each can be used as a teacher—helping you to recognize when the Doing mode of mind is showing up and trying to reassert its authority, trying its best to intervene to help you out in the only way it knows. So if you find yourself feeling restless, agitated, bored, sleepy or avoiding a part of the body that you do not like, here is an opportunity to recognize this for what it is, and to begin, gradually, turning toward it rather than away from it. Or, if you find yourself on autopilot, as your mind wanders to the past or future, you can acknowledge this, seeing where your mind went and coming home again … and again … The going away and the coming back can turn out to be wonderful practice at making the elegant shift from Doing to Being. Then there will be times when you find yourself thinking about a part of the body and realize that you are not actually feeling it “from the inside” at all; when you have become lost in concepts, analyzing rather than sensing. So, when you notice this, you may begin to smile at the way the mind works so cleverly to get back to its own agenda! And in the smile is the awakening, the coming back to a direct sense of what it is like to be fully alive in this moment.
Now, if you have not already done so, pause for a few moments and decide when you will start the Body Scan. Once you’ve done so, you may wish to read through the guidance in the box on p. 97. Then when the time for practicing comes, follow along with the guidance on track 2 found at http://bit.ly/rodalemindfulness.
Habit Releaser: going for a walk
Walking is one of the finest exercises and an excellent stress reliever and mood booster. A good walk can put the world in perspective and soothe your frayed nerves. If you really want to feel alive, go for a walk in the wind or rain!
Over the next week, we suggest you arrange to go for at least one fifteen- to thirty-minute walk (or longer, if you wish). You don’t have to go anywhere special. A walk around your neighborhood, taken in an open frame of mind, can be just as interesting as a hike through the mountains.
There’s no need to feel that you have to rush anywhere; the aim is to walk as mindfully as you can, focusing your awareness on you
r feet as they land on the ground, and feeling the fluid movements of all the muscles and tendons in your feet and legs. You might even notice that your whole body moves as you walk, not just your legs. Pay attention to all of the sights, sounds and smells. If you’re in a city you’ll still see and hear a surprising number of birds and animals flapping and scurrying about. Notice how they react when they realize that you’ve seen them.
See if it is possible to be open to all your senses: smell the scent of flowers, the aroma of freshly cut grass, the mustiness of winter leaves or, perhaps, the smell of exhaust fumes and fast food; see if you can feel the breeze on your face or the rain on your head or hands; listen to the air as it moves; see how the patterns of light and shade can shift unexpectedly. Every moment of every season has a host of sensory delights—regardless of where you live.
Try stopping and looking upward too. If you are in a city, you’ll be surprised by how many beautiful architectural features are just above natural eye level. You might also see tufts of grass or even trees growing out of roofs and guttering. If you are in a park or in the countryside, you’ll see all manner of things, from birds’ nests to bees’ nests hidden in trees and bushes. If you’re feeling more ambitious, you could tag along with your local walking group. It could be the start of a lifelong hobby.
Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World Page 10