It was strange. He felt as though he were suddenly widowed, and Zoe and their marriage had died when she had almost killed Jaime. Jaime had survived but nothing else had. Zoe had taken it all down with her, and in an odd way, he felt as though his prison walls had come down. He had been trapped with a woman he didn’t trust, even if he loved her. He had been blind for too long.
* * *
—
Dan Knoll and the detective who had gone to Austin’s apartment met Cathy at her office that afternoon to take her statement about what had happened the previous day. She told them precisely and simply, about when she’d decided to drop by, coming up to the apartment, seeing Zoe and Jaime, and Jaime having already eaten several bites of a slice of the cake, and how quickly she had reacted, and everything Cathy had done to revive her.
They asked her if she thought what Zoe did was intentional, and she said yes, to a certain extent.
“I think she wanted to make her sick, but not kill her. She wanted to do some kind of spectacular gesture to show Jaime and everyone that she could ‘save’ her. She was going to pretend she didn’t know there was honey in the cake, but of course she did. It was listed on the label she tore off and threw away. She thought she’d get away with it and no one would know she had bought a cake with honey in it. It was a naïve and delusional way to prove she was super-mom and play hero.
“I had told her, and so had the allergist, that allergies of this kind get exponentially worse every time there is an exposure, and even we might not be able to save Jaime next time. I don’t think she believed that and she wanted to try it, maybe to show off. It was a sick form of reasoning, and she was willing to risk Jaime’s life to do it. I don’t think she specifically set out to kill her, but she was willing to take the chance. There’s a subtle difference there. I don’t believe she wanted a dead child. She wanted one she could rescue and revive against all odds, maybe because she hadn’t been able to save her sister as a child, and she was trying to make it come out differently this time. Her pathology made her willing to take the risk. If she’d been alone in the apartment yesterday with Jaime, Jaime would be dead today. I have no doubt of that.” Dan nodded as he recorded her. They were going to bring a transcript back for her to sign.
“Is there anything else you remember, Doctor?”
“No, I don’t think so. Everything happened very fast, Jaime was unconscious within minutes after I got there, and the paramedics came minutes after that.”
“How long do you think you did CPR on her before they arrived?”
“Five or six minutes maybe, seven at most, but probably more like five. Jaime’s heart stopped as soon as she lost consciousness, I kept her going with CPR, but she was technically dead, with no pulse, except what I gave her artificially with the resuscitation.”
“Thank you.” The detective turned the recorder off and nodded at Dan. He left a few minutes later and said he’d wait for Dan outside. Dan had told the detective before they met with Cathy that he wanted to see her alone for a few minutes at the end.
“I just wanted to thank you for all your cooperation during my investigation. You were incredibly helpful with all the information about Munchausen by proxy. I learned a lot.” He smiled at her.
“So did I,” she said sadly. “I lost a friend yesterday,” she admitted to him.
“You lost her a long time ago, if she ever really was a friend. It’s hard to say, but I think you were just a pawn in her game. She was too sick to have friends.” It struck Cathy that they all spoke of Zoe as though she was dead, and Austin did too. In some ways, she was. She was just a shell of a body with a twisted mind and no heart.
“I wanted to tell you something else too,” he said, hesitating, but he didn’t know when he’d see her again, except in court. “I don’t usually cross any lines, but I was tempted to this time. You’re a remarkable person, and I’ve met with you in an official capacity. I didn’t want to screw that up, but I was hoping to call you when this is all over. That’s never happened to me before.” She looked embarrassed but touched by what he said. She liked him too, but she wasn’t sure she liked him that way. She hadn’t thought of it before. “But I realized something yesterday. You’re an honorable woman, which I knew before, and I don’t think you or Austin Roberts would have betrayed his wife, no matter how twisted and dangerous she was. My guess is that it never even occurred to you. You’re both genuinely nice people. I wanted to give you a call, but you already have a family, Cathy, and I don’t think you even know it.” She looked at him in surprise, unsure what he meant. She didn’t ask and he didn’t pursue it.
“Let’s have lunch sometime when this is all over, after the court case, however that turns out. I know she was your friend, but she tried to kill a child. She belongs in prison, and I doubt they’ll let her plead insanity. She knew what she was doing every step of the way. She willingly and knowingly risked Jaime’s life. I hope they make her stand trial. She deserves it.” It made her heart ache to think about it, but she was angry at Zoe too.
He left a minute later, and she thought about what he’d said, trying to sort it out. It sounded like he had wanted to date her, but decided that it was inappropriate. He was a good guy, and she would like to be friends with him, the way she was with Paul Anders.
She went home after that and tried to unwind after the anguish of the past two days. She thought of Austin and Jaime, but decided they needed time alone together. They’d both been through so much. They all had. She shuddered every time she thought about what might have happened if she hadn’t dropped in on Zoe and been there to save Jaime’s life.
Chapter 19
The morning of the sanity hearing, Austin dropped Jaime off at school, as he did every day now, not just some of the time. He made breakfast before they left. He burned the pancakes sometimes, but managed the rest okay.
Jaime had turned four, and she’d had a birthday party without her mother, which was sad in theory, but mostly different. She still thought Zoe was in California, and Austin was trying to find ways to tell her the truth. School was getting out soon, and she wanted to go to Santa Barbara to visit her mother. She didn’t know that Brad and Pam were in town for Zoe’s hearing. The time wasn’t right for them to see her anyway. Brad was deeply involved with the lawyer he’d hired for his daughter, and they were optimistic about getting Zoe committed to a psychiatric hospital long term in lieu of prison. The press had covered the story for weeks. It was shocking to read in the papers and hear on TV. A pillar of the community had tried to kill her child.
Austin hadn’t heard from or seen Zoe since she was arrested. He wanted to write her a letter but hadn’t yet. He was still adjusting to everything that had happened, trying to understand it, and taking care of Jaime every day when Fiona left.
Austin had arranged to meet his parents and both his brothers just inside the courthouse, and they looked somber as they filed in, reporters crowding around them. Austin and his family sat in the row behind the prosecutor’s table, the assistant district attorney was already there with an assistant with a stack of papers on his desk. Cathy arrived a few minutes later, touched Austin’s shoulder, and sat behind them, and Dan Knoll slid into a chair next to her.
Austin had already seen a lawyer about a divorce and sole custody. They were going to request termination of Zoe’s parental rights, and the lawyer said there would be no problem doing that, but he wanted to wait until after the hearing, and possibly the trial, or until after she pled guilty if she did. He said she’d be a fool to go to trial, given the solid evidence against her, and Cathy as an eyewitness who had seen the whole thing.
Brad and Pam were seated across the aisle behind the defense attorney he had hired for Zoe, and Brad looked old and pale, as Pam sat next to him, holding his hand. Austin acknowledged him, and Brad nodded, but it didn’t feel like the right time to go over to him. The tension was too high for all of t
hem as they waited for the judge to step up to the bench.
He arrived a few minutes later, and asked the defense if they had anything to say.
“We’re waiting for your ruling on the competency of my client, Your Honor. My client will be here in a moment. She’s in custody. We’d like to set bail. Her parents are here. She’s not a flight risk.” The judge nodded and didn’t comment, as Austin realized that Beth hadn’t come. She just couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be there for anyone, not even her only child.
Zoe had called Beth once from jail, and her mother had been harsh with her and pointed out to Zoe that she had lost her child, and Zoe had tried to kill hers. Zoe wanted no contact with her after that.
They brought Zoe in, wearing black slacks and a white blouse. She looked faintly rumpled, her hair was neat, and she had on running shoes. They had her in handcuffs and leg shackles which they removed as she walked into court. Austin was watching her closely and wanted to see some sign of torment or remorse, but she looked calm and controlled, and looked at Austin as though she’d never seen him before. As she whispered to her lawyer, her father touched her shoulder, and Zoe turned and smiled at him. She looked calm, normal, and sane as she did.
The judge asked the state-appointed psychiatrist to take the stand then, which he did, and the bailiff swore him in. A female sheriff stood near Zoe in case she tried to make a run for it. The scene was sobering, and Cathy felt slightly dizzy as she watched.
The assistant district attorney rose from the prosecution table, and approached the expert witness, and asked him to state his credentials. It was a long list of schools and associations, which satisfied the court. And then the judge asked him simply if he felt that Zoe Morgan Roberts was competent to stand trial for the attempted murder of her daughter.
“Yes, I do, Your Honor,” he said in a strong clear voice. “We’ve evaluated the defendant for the past thirty days in a locked psychiatric ward. Three competent psychiatrists have seen her daily, and we all concur. She understands the crime she’s accused of, she’s fully conscious of what she did. She was fully aware of her daughter’s potentially fatal allergy at the time. We could find no reason for her not to stand trial. She is competent to stand trial and face the charges. She understands the gravity of the crime.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” the judge dismissed him, and addressed both attorneys. “The defendant will be held without bail until the trial. The arraignment is set for a week from tomorrow. There is no more heinous crime than the murder or attempted murder of a child, and even worse, one’s own. The defendant will remain in custody.” He rapped his gavel hard and left the bench as Zoe stood up and the deputy put the handcuffs and shackles back on. Zoe was expressionless as her father cried, and the lawyer spoke to him in a whisper. Austin stared at Zoe before they led her away. He was in the seat on the aisle, and their eyes met as she stood there.
“I love her more than you ever will,” she said coldly, and then let the deputy lead her back to jail with hobbling steps from the leg irons. Even Cathy had tears running down her face. The scene was surreal. Austin left the courtroom with swift strides as the others followed, and they gathered at the top of the courthouse steps. Austin told the reporters he had no comment, then walked down to the sidewalk in silence, as they trailed behind him. It had been a powerful scene.
The Roberts family stood in a tight cluster together, not speaking, but they were satisfied with the result, and Austin hugged Brad and Pam as they walked past to a town car waiting for them at the curb. Neither Brad nor Austin said anything. They didn’t need to. They had both lived through their own particular hell, and it wasn’t over yet. They still had the trial to get through if she didn’t plead guilty. And Brad would have a daughter in prison for the rest of his life. She had injured them all.
Dan left quietly, and Cathy wasn’t sure whether to speak to Austin or not, and stayed off to the side, as he spoke to his family for a minute. The outcome had been what they all wanted. Austin was satisfied, but it was a hollow victory. They had hard times ahead. Not just the trial, but the years after. Jaime would grow up without a mother, and one day know that her mother had tried to kill her. It would be a heavy burden to carry, and a mystery she could never solve, as to why. She had seen the dark side of life and of love before she was four years old.
Austin looked past his family then, and saw Cathy. He smiled but his eyes didn’t. She had lost a friend, he a wife, and Jaime a mother. Heavy losses.
“Thank you for coming. Do you want to ride with me?” he asked her. The others were talking, and she nodded. He hailed a cab, and he waved at his family, as Cathy slid in, and he got in next to her. He gave the driver the address of Cathy’s office. He was going to drop her off and go to work. Somehow life had to start again and become normal.
She could see unshed tears in his eyes as he looked at her and took her hand, and held it. They didn’t speak all the way to her office. The one thing they all knew was that whatever happened, Jaime would be safe now. It was all that mattered. Cathy and Austin knew it too, and as they held hands, she remembered what Dan had said to her, that she already had a family and didn’t even know it. Austin smiled at her. They had come a long way together, and still had far to go, but they were no longer alone.
To my darling beloved children,
Beatie, Trevor, Todd, Nick,
Sam, Victoria, Vanessa,
Maxx, and Zara,
May darkness never touch you,
May you live in light
and be ever safe and loved.
I love you with all my heart,
forever and always.
Mommy / ds
By Danielle Steel
THE DARK SIDE • LOST AND FOUND • BLESSING IN DISGUISE • SILENT NIGHT • TURNING POINT • BEAUCHAMP HALL • IN HIS FATHER’S FOOTSTEPS • THE GOOD FIGHT • THE CAST • ACCIDENTAL HEROES • FALL FROM GRACE • PAST PERFECT • FAIRYTALE • THE RIGHT TIME • THE DUCHESS • AGAINST ALL ODDS • DANGEROUS GAMES • THE MISTRESS • THE AWARD • RUSHING WATERS • MAGIC • THE APARTMENT • PROPERTY OF A NOBLEWOMAN • BLUE • PRECIOUS GIFTS • UNDERCOVER • COUNTRY • PRODIGAL SON • PEGASUS • A PERFECT LIFE • POWER PLAY • WINNERS • FIRST SIGHT • UNTIL THE END OF TIME • THE SINS OF THE MOTHER • FRIENDS FOREVER • BETRAYAL • HOTEL VENDÔME • HAPPY BIRTHDAY • 44 CHARLES STREET • LEGACY • FAMILY TIES • BIG GIRL • SOUTHERN LIGHTS • MATTERS OF THE HEART • ONE DAY AT A TIME • A GOOD WOMAN • ROGUE • HONOR THYSELF •AMAZING GRACE • BUNGALOW 2 • SISTERS • H.R.H. • COMING OUT • THE HOUSE • TOXIC BACHELORS • MIRACLE • IMPOSSIBLE • ECHOES • SECOND CHANCE • RANSOM • SAFE HARBOUR • JOHNNY ANGEL • DATING GAME • ANSWERED PRAYERS • SUNSET IN ST. TROPEZ • THE COTTAGE • THE KISS • LEAP OF FAITH • LONE EAGLE • JOURNEY • THE HOUSE ON HOPE STREET • THE WEDDING • IRRESISTIBLE FORCES • GRANNY DAN • BITTERSWEET • MIRROR IMAGE • THE KLONE AND I • THE LONG ROAD HOME • THE GHOST • SPECIAL DELIVERY • THE RANCH • SILENT HONOR • MALICE • FIVE DAYS IN PARIS • LIGHTNING • WINGS • THE GIFT • ACCIDENT • VANISHED • MIXED BLESSINGS • JEWELS • NO GREATER LOVE • HEARTBEAT • MESSAGE FROM NAM • DADDY • STAR • ZOYA • KALEIDOSCOPE • FINE THINGS • WANDERLUST • SECRETS • FAMILY ALBUM • FULL CIRCLE • CHANGES • THURSTON HOUSE • CROSSINGS • ONCE IN A LIFETIME • A PERFECT STRANGER • REMEMBRANCE • PALOMINO • LOVE: POEMS • THE RING • LOVING • TO LOVE AGAIN • SUMMER’S END • SEASON OF PASSION • THE PROMISE • NOW AND FOREVER • PASSION’S PROMISE • GOING HOME
Nonfiction
PURE JOY: The Dogs We Love
A GIFT OF HOPE: Helping the Homeless
HIS BRIGHT LIGHT: The Story of Nick Traina
For Children
PRETTY MINNIE IN PARIS
PRETTY MINNIE IN HOLLYWOOD
About the Author
DANIELLE STEEL has been hailed as one of the wor
ld’s most popular authors, with almost a billion copies of her novels sold. Her many international bestsellers include Lost and Found, Blessing in Disguise, Silent Night, Turning Point, Beauchamp Hall, In His Father’s Footsteps, The Good Fight, The Cast, Accidental Heroes, Fall from Grace, and other highly acclaimed novels. She is also the author of His Bright Light, the story of her son Nick Traina’s life and death; A Gift of Hope, a memoir of her work with the homeless; Pure Joy, about the dogs she and her family have loved; and the children’s books Pretty Minnie in Paris and Pretty Minnie in Hollywood.
Daniellesteel.com
Facebook.com/DanielleSteelOfficial
Twitter: @daniellesteel
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The Dark Side Page 23