by Nicole Thorn
Not really an answer.
“I don’t like when people are mean to you,” I said, leaving it at that.
It was quiet again. I focused on un-growing the flowers so that Juniper would have order in her home. I wasn’t sure how she’d react to seeing them. I could almost see in my head her eyes going wide.
Jasper laid next to me, looking in the same direction. “She didn’t upset you with that ‘pretty’ thing, did she? Because you are. Pretty, I mean. Very pretty.”
I smiled at his attempt to make me feel better. “There isn’t a way to say this where I won’t sound awful, but I know I’m pretty. Thank you, though. The way I look is the source of literally everything wrong with me.”
“How’s that?”
I swallowed nothing. “Sometimes the people who think I’m pretty aren’t very nice.”
A minute went by before he spoke again. “If you don’t want to go tonight, we don’t have to.”
“We? You’d ditch Darth Pork Pie just because I don’t want to go?”
He smiled. “Who the hell said I wanted to go?”
I laughed. “If you stayed home, it would probably only make trouble for you. And if I stay, I don’t want to deal with that either.” I didn’t want her to win. “How nice do we have to dress?”
He sighed. “Probably very, very nice. Do you have something to wear? Jasmine will if you don’t.”
“I’ll figure it out.” I got a picture in my head. “Does this mean I get to see you in a suit?”
He didn’t look happy. “Maybe.”
“Don’t be upset, I’m sure you clean up really nice, when you want to.”
Jasper laughed. “I bet I don’t.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t put yourself down, because by social rules I have to bring you back up. I don’t mind, but I don’t really know how to do it.”
Then I pictured him all dressed up in my head. It was actually kind of nice. But I liked him covered in clay too, because that was when he was content. I liked when he had just a little on his face and didn’t know it.
I stopped thinking about it when I started feeling weird. I couldn’t really name it, but it was uncomfortable. A little warm. I folded my arms and brought my knees together, leaving my feet crooked on the ground.
“Can I make you a sandwich?” I asked.
“I just ate.”
“Hours ago.”
“I’m not even hungry yet.”
I could ask him in a day and I think he’d say something similar. So I stood up. “What kind of sandwich do you want?”
He stood with me, giving in like a good boy. “Turkey, I guess.”
I led him inside and sat him at the table, getting him something to drink first. Then I made him a sandwich and gave him some chips. I sat with him, making sure he ate. He always looked worn out. This had to be why.
We didn’t talk while he ate. I just looked out the window at nothing. It was nice, actually being allowed to do that without someone asking what was wrong with me. Not Zander, obviously, but every other soul I encountered.
“So,” I decided to say. “You like artsy girls?”
I thought for a second about how not that I was.
Jasper looked at me mid bite. “Um, not really. It was just a coincidence with her.”
I looked at the table. “What do you normally go for?”
“I don’t think I have a type,” he said, casually. “Just nice I guess.”
Not really.
“You?” he asked. “Do you have a type?”
“I don’t think so. I’ve never been on a date, so I don’t know what kind of guy I like. I’m pretty sure one doesn’t exist.”
His look was odd. “You don’t think there’s someone you would want to be with?”
“Nothing against people in general, but I just don’t really know if I’m capable of having feelings like that.”
“You’ve never liked anyone before? Not even a crush?”
I started talking before I knew what I was saying. “I was really young when it happened, so I didn’t really get the chance to figure out what I liked.”
It wasn’t until he spoke that I realized I was opening up too much. “When what happened? The deaths? What does that have to do with it?”
I really, really didn’t want to lie to him, but no one knew except for Zander. It wasn’t at all that I didn’t trust Jasper, but I didn’t think it was a good idea for him to see me. It’s the same reason I didn’t want to touch people. I’m scared that if they do—if he does—then they’ll figure out how broken I am. If he did, then he’d know there was no point in talking to me anymore. I really like talking to him.
I tried being honest and hoping he would like me anyway. “No, not, um, the deaths… I don’t like talking about it.”
To my surprise, he said, “Okay.”
I stared at the table again until I heard his chair scratch against the floor. I watched him stand up and go to the cabinets. He opened one and reached to the very top and the back. He pulled out a little mug and grabbed something from inside before putting it back.
He dropped a Kiss on the table in front of me. “Chocolate makes everything better, so I’m told.”
I smiled at him so grandly that it hurt. “The white chocolate kind. Those are the best.” I started unwrapping it, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he said as he ate a chip. He thought for a second. “So you can grow anything?”
“Yup. And before you ask, I won’t grow you pot.”
Jasper seemed confused. “I wasn’t going to ask…”
Ah, I screwed up. I didn’t know how to joke properly. “I was kidding. If you asked, I actually might have done it. But I’m glad you’re not. Asking, I mean.” Christ…
He went on like I wasn’t a moron or something. “Is some stuff harder to grow than others?”
“Not really. I can make it just as easy, but it takes longer. Like, I can have a flower in seconds. A potato takes a little longer. An oak tree, a few minutes. Food tends to take a bit. Like my apple tree that got destroyed. Food is a little more complicated.”
He smiled. “Can you make me a flower?”
I think I blushed. “Is there a specific kind you want?”
He shrugged. “My mom liked Lavenders.”
My nose wrinkled. “I don’t like what those mean sometimes. Distrust. Not the flower’s fault, of course.”
“Oh. Do you know what a lot of flowers mean?”
I definitely blushed. “I had a lot of free time on my hands when I was younger… but no. Not a lot. Just… some.”
“All right, how about a lilac?”
I laughed. “Google that one later.”
He named a few other flowers and I told him the meanings and he decided he didn’t want them.
“I like orchids,” I said. “You’re getting an orchid.” I got up and started looking around. “Do you have solo cups?”
He sighed. “Jasmine keeps them under the counter.”
I grabbed one and went to the backyard. I got some dirt and came back inside. I held the cup in both hands and focused on colors. Since I could make anything I wanted, I went for a few colors. I went with deep blue, white and a hint of purple in the veins of the petals. I handed it to Jasper.
“It’s pretty,” he said as he looked at it. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Three bodies marched into the room, one of which was not pleased. Juniper sighed. “So, are we going to this thing? Because if we are, I need time to get ready.”
Jasper and I looked at each other. “Are we?” he asked.
“I guess.”
Zander hauled me up. “And I look forward to dolling you up. We need to go now. Say goodbye to the nice boy.”
I waved with a frown. “Goodbye, nice boy.”
He smiled. “Bye.”
I was dragged into Jasmine’s room with the three of them. She started going through her clothes immediately.
“Do you even have a
suit?” I asked Zander. “Your stuff was destroyed.”
He snorted. “You think Mom isn’t gonna take care of me? A million bucks says there’s a tux in my room.” He turned on his heel and left us.
I sat with Juniper on the bed, watching Jasmine. “I can do your hair and makeup,” she told us.
“I don’t like makeup,” I said. “It’s unnatural.”
“Fair enough,” Jasmine said with a turn. She already had a dress and she was laying it on the bed. “You have to let me do your hair though.”
I held back a sigh. “Okay.”
Zander came back with a tux, a grin and a familiar green dress. Oh no.
“Kizzy,” he said, “you’re gonna be a knock out tonight. Not that you aren’t normally, but tonight is special.”
Jasmine smiled as she started playing with my hair. “Juni, you think Jasper would like her hair up?”
“Maybe curled a little,” her sister said.
“She looks great when it’s in big curls,” Zander threw in.
I looked around. “Um, why would Jasper care?”
They all exchanged a look I didn’t understand. Zander spoke. “No reason. But as the only guy here that can have an unbiased opinion of you, I think he would be a good gauge.”
“Oh, okay.”
Zander started handing the dress over to Jasmine and I got worried. “I don’t know if I can wear that.”
He was used to this, so he was patient. “I thought you were going to try.”
My hands were already sweaty. “It’s really low cut. And short.”
Jasmine smiled and it was so warm. “You’ll look amazing in it. Don’t worry about a thing. Jasper is gonna love it and Celeste will hate it. A wonderful evening is in store for all of us.”
Why the hell did they keep bringing Jasper up? “If I don’t like it, can I take it off?” I asked Zander for permission.
“Yes.” He nodded.
I was handed the dress. “Do you want help changing?”
“No,” I said, too quickly. “I can do it on my own.”
I got in there and I undressed, leaving my clothes on the counter. Zander was kind enough to get me the right kind of bra for this. I put it on and then the dress. I stared at myself for a little while.
It was a stunning shade of green and it didn’t reach my knees. My legs were fully visible and so were my arms. The straps were meant to be worn just off the shoulders, making the slope of my neck very… not covered by a sweater. The front was not much better. It dipped low, showing off just what I had. There was just… so much of me on display. The dress was tight in the places it should be, making my curves clear to everyone that looked. I didn’t look human at all.
It took a lot to get out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. All eyes were on me.
“Wow.” Zander smiled. “You look beautiful, Kizzy.”
“You really do,” Juniper said.
“She looks hot. Why is no one saying she looks hot? Gods, she’s going to cause heart attacks in that thing.” Jasmine rushed over to me and got me to her make up table. Her hair stuff was all out. “You have no idea how perfect you look.”
I fidgeted. “I don’t want people staring at me.”
She plugged in her curler. “That’s not possible.”
I closed my eyes as she started. I could do this, right? A few hours in a dress. Zander would be there the whole time. He can keep me safe. And the girls are going to be there. Jasper. I felt weird again when I thought about him seeing me in this. I liked it, but I didn’t. I really wasn’t sure what to think.
Zander changed into his tux and played with it. “Dovetree, Zander Dovetree.” He adjusted his bowtie. He offered a hand to Juniper. “Come with me, Miss Moneypenny.”
Juniper smiled, but I don’t think she liked it. “Your tie is crooked.” She fixed it. “I’m getting a dress. I’ll be back.”
Zander went to Jasmine’s closet and was told to hold up shoes for her. She ‘yes’ or ‘no-ed’ them while she did my hair. She found a pair that went with her dress and then it was my turn. All I had were sneakers, so I had to borrow from her.
“Those,” she said when Zander held up a pair of green flats. “She’s too tall for heels.”
Zander set them aside. He came over and put his hands on my bare shoulders. “You’re doing so good, honey. Your mom would be really proud of you tonight.”
I looked at my lap. “Thanks.”
Jasmine politely didn’t ask why it was such a big deal to be doing this. Maybe she figured it out already. They all seemed to know not to touch me. That it was necessary and not just a preference. That I was broken in a million ways.
My hair was all done and Jasmine started on her look for the night. She seemed fine. Like an actual person who could wear a dress without memories hurting her.
It was decided that we should take two cars, so Zander and I were going in ours. We got downstairs and I looked around, hoping and dreading seeing Jasper. I wanted to see what he thought as much as I was scared to let him see. But he was nowhere, so it didn’t matter.
Zander drove us. Once we got there, the place was packed. The triplets weren’t there yet and it made me nervous. At least I was here with someone.
I could see inside and I couldn’t quite spot Celeste. I imagined she was off soaking up some attention. Zander agreed that we should hate her on principle. If the girls hate her, then we should too. Because that was what friends do. And it was a good reason for me to have, other than the fact that she upset Jasper. Maybe that was enough, too. It had to be. Because I hated her. I knew I hated her.
And I knew Jasper was why.
11: When Green Things Attack
(Kezia Smash)
Jasper
Juniper kept fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. She didn’t do dresses, so instead, she was wearing very nice dress khakis and a shirt that cost enough to make me throw up in my mouth a little bit. She refused to do anything with her hair, but after Jasmine pestered her enough, gave in to a ponytail. I think the latter is why she was gripping the steering wheel so tight and going down the street so slowly.
Jasmine, who was in the passenger’s seat, was doing her best to keep our sister from completely losing it. It was working, somewhat. If Juniper was arguing with Jasmine, she couldn’t really focus on anything else, such as how much she hated what she’s wearing, or how much she hated Celeste.
The arguments were mostly about what Jasmine was wearing. The dress was purple and green tie-dyed and was low cut enough that I worried for the men at the gallery. Not to mention Jasmine, since Juniper would probably kill her.
“I’m just saying, we look almost exactly the same. So when you go about flaunting what you’ve got, people automatically know what I’ve got. And there are no circumstances under which that is okay.”
I could practically see Jasmine rolling her eyes. “Don’t worry, Juni. They were probably picturing you naked already.”
“Not helping.”
“I’d like to once again say that you aren’t allowed outside the house. Ever. Like, ever, ever.”
Jasmine threw her hands into the air. “I shall not be oppressed! Ooh, look at that puppy. Isn’t he cute? If we ever get a puppy, we should totally name him Cerberus and teach him how to fetch.”
“We’re not getting a puppy,” Juniper said.
“Why can’t we get a puppy?! They’re cute and fluffy and they love. They love with their whole hearts, Juniper and that kind of love can’t be held down!” My other sister yelled, pointed at the little yellow lab was that chasing his own leash and somehow did not manage to catch it.
“Puppies are stains waiting to happen!” Juniper said. “No amount of love will fix a carpet, Jasmine!” While this was very true, I think Juniper was missing the good points of puppies. Not that I was about to get involved in that conversation. If I could without ruining my only suit, I’d tuck and roll out of this car.
“Look at that face!” Jasmine shouted. “Can’t
you see all the adoration that he’s capable of in those puppy eyes!?”
“Cords, Jasmine. Chewed up cords everywhere, stains on my carpet! Food all over the kitchen, because when have you ever known a puppy to eat neatly? Not to mention the backyard! The dirt all dug up, the grass in tatters! Toys all over the floor! No puppies!” Juniper shouted.
“What about when you have your triplets?” Jasmine said. “Not only will they do all these things, but they’ll also demand a puppy. Are you saying that you’ll hate your three little babies so much that you’ll deny them their puppy?”
“Oh, gods. I’m never having sex,” Juniper decided and I tried to blend into the seat and only failed a lot. Each generation of Seers needs to make the next generation of Seers. Juniper, since she’s the one who saw the present, would be the person to carry on that line.
Sure, there have been attempts to stop this. The middle Seer would attempt to never have sex—something that always worked better for women than men—but ultimately failed at some point. Some would get surgery to ensure that they couldn’t have children, but the process was reversed, somehow. Eventually, they all accepted their fate and most of them learned to love their children.
That was one half of it anyway. The other half reproduced as quickly as possible. Because when the next generation came into their powers, the last one lost theirs. I tried to think good things about our mother, but she had us when she was seventeen, with a man who was twenty-five. He claims she lied to him about her age until the day we were born and the sad thing is that I believe my father more than I do my mother’s memory.
And then she took off when she was twenty. The second that we had our first visions, she was packing her bags. It was hard to give her the benefit of the doubt all things considered. She used to call us her little saviors.
“Finally, we’re here!” Juniper said, parking. “No more talking about the puppy that we definitely are never getting, or the triplets that I’m definitely never going to have, understand?”
Jasmine rolled her eyes and popped the door open. “Whatever, Juni. Keep living in denial.” We all got out. I glanced into the windows, to judge how uncomfortable I was going to be. Answer: a lot. There weren’t enough people to make walking impossible, but there were enough to make bumping into someone almost guaranteed. My thoughts immediately went to Kezia and I started towards the door with my sisters.