by WL Flinn
Hey, a golden retriever, an alicorn and a vampire walk into a bar, Penny started.
I snorted and Ashe cracked up. “Wait, who said that?” She turned and looked at us. I looked at her.
“Penny, can she hear you?” I asked.
“I can hear you,” Ashe said. “You were just talking to Penny. Why are you talking to her.”
Because I am all that, Penny said, her tongue lolling out.
I noticed Ashe was still in her “semi” vampire state. Her skin was shiny and her eyes were darker, but her fangs were not fully dropped.
“Penny can hear me and talk to me when I am like this.”
“Well, that is cool.” Ashe rubbed Penny’s head. “I can hear you and her both. This is great. This will help a lot.”
We made it back to the car without incident. I switched back to a naked woman and dived into the back seat to get clothes. “There has got to be an easier way,” I grumbled.
Ashe looked at Penny thoughtfully while I dressed. “Have you ever thought about getting her a doggy backpack?”
I threw the shirt on over my head. “Huh?”
Cesar Millan always puts them on dogs.
He always puts them on bad dogs. I am an excellent dog.
Ashe giggled. “You are an excellent dog, Penny. But I think your momma doesn’t want to end up butt nekked every time she shifts.”
Penny looked at me. Humans. She has hair, isn’t that enough? I don’t know why y’all have to put all the clothes on. Too hot.
I could hear this conversation since I still was in my semi-shifted state. “I put clothes on because we have laws. Also, because I have had two children and am not in shape to be naked in front of anyone.”
Penny huffed at me and jumped in the car.
I looked over at Ashe. “So, biting is a thing?”
Her face flushed crimson. “I didn’t know! I just didn’t know what to do to distract him. My instincts kicked in.” She licked her lips as if the blood were still there.
“Well it seemed to drop him fast. That worked great.” I looked around. I knew no one was around to hear us, but I had to ask. “Did it taste good?”
She looked down at the ground and ground her toe into the ground. “I didn’t mean to do it. But well, it was really good.” She added hastily, “I mean I wouldn’t drink all his blood. I don’t think.”
“Hey if you don’t talk about me eating grass, I won’t say a word about the blood. Deal?” I held out my hand. She grabbed it firmly.
“Deal.”
The next night, Ashe texted me. Ready for a walk?
“Yes,” I said pumping my fist into the air. I was afraid our evening might have scared Ashe from ever talking to me again. I mean really, who would want to hang out with someone who runs to trouble.
That night when we met for our walk Ashe said, “You ready to go kick some ass?”
“You better believe it.” I gave her a high five.
As we were walking it occurred to me I didn’t know a whole lot about her. “Where do you work?”
“Used to work.” Her eyes scanned the street looking for issues. “I worked for the Palm Beach Sheriff’s Office until I got sick. Funny how you almost die, then you start showing just a few signs of being different and they can your butt.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. I know it wasn’t my fault that she was fired But I couldn’t imagine how I would feel about being let go for something that wasn’t my fault. Actually, I am pretty sure I would be ticked off. I let her know how I felt.
She shrugged. “What was I going to do? I can’t claim discrimination. I checked. Magic doesn’t fall under the ADA currently.”
“I work for the State Attorney’s Office. I could check if you want.”
She stopped and grabbed my shoulders. “You don’t mention a word about this.” She squeezed a little too tightly and I thought my shoulders were going to be crushed. “You don’t want anyone to know you have any type of magic. Everything changes when they find out.” She turned on her heel and walked away.
Stunned, I started thinking about all the news reports. There were reports of the normal thefts and stuff. But where were the stories about people who were different? Who were magical? I am not sure I was comfortable myself using the word magical, but I didn’t have a better word.
The next day at work in between typing my various subpoenas and discovery motions, I slipped into a different part of the computer system. I typed a query for the type of crimes which had been committed. I knew there was no code for magical. So, I went through the reports on each crime to see what was there.
I found the normal line up of robberies, rapes, assaults, and drug crimes. When I read through them though, none of them had any indication there was magic involved in terms of the victim. I did see there were perps who were very strong or very fast , but I didn’t give that a lot of credence. Anyone who has ever been mugged knew how suddenly it happened.
After going through hundreds of reports I looked over at Pam. “Hey, do you think any of these guys we are prosecuting are crimes involving magic?” I lowered my voice at the end. I didn’t want anyone else to overhear us.
Pam stopped typing. “That would be cool to get a witness in here who could do magic, but nah, that ain’t going to happen.” Like me, she looked around to make sure no one was listening to us. “My boss told me they aren’t going to allow any of them freaks in here. I think it would be cool, but he said they won’t expend any of their time on crimes that they weren’t going to prosecute.”
“Really? They don’t want to help people who had the misfortune of getting sick?”
Pam must have known she hit a nerve. “Hey, don’t kill the messenger. I just report the news. But do we even know if these people are even people anymore? Are they even human?”
I stopped typing. I didn’t even know what to say. “But we even protect animals from abuse. Don’t these people deserve at least that much?”
Pam just shrugged and went back to typing.
“I am thinking of inviting a friend over for dinner,” I told the kids a few days later.
SallyAnn and Rusty looked at each other. “Is this why you have been staying out late at night?” Rusty asked. SallyAnn hit him.
“Way to be subtle,” she said.
“Hey, we have a right to know who Mom is seeing,” Rusty said. “I need to make sure she isn’t bringing a serial killer into the house. I am the man of the house, you know.” He puffed up his chest a little.
“What?” I asked. “No, I am not seeing anyone. What gave you that idea?”
SallyAnn instantly chimed in. “Well you are always out late. You never have the same clothes on. You usually look like you have been rolling in the hay.” Rusty smacked her upside the head.
“You don’t say that to Mom, even if it is true.”
Gobsmacked, I looked at my too kids. “I am not dating or seeing a man. This is a female friend.”
SallyAnn gave me a hug. “That’s okay too, Mom. You have raised us to be open-minded.”
“No,” I strangled out. “I don’t mean that, I just mean she is a friend, not a friend. You know what I mean. I am not dating anyone!” “Sheesh,” I said as I walked into the kitchen. “I didn’t realize they were watching me so closely.”
The next day I texted Ashe about coming to dinner. She said she would be over. I asked Rusty if he would grill hamburgers for us, and he agreed. I threw a bag of tater tots into the air fryer and the doorbell rang.
“Now be good guys we don’t want to scare her. She doesn’t have a family.”
I wiped my hands on my pants and opened the door. Ashe stood there awkwardly. Her dark skin accented by a white tank and stretchy jeans. Her long dark hair was up in a cute ponytail. “Come in,” I smiled. “I am glad you came.”
Rusty walked in and totally looked her over. His jaw hit the ground. “Score one for the old ladies,” I thought.
“Um, hey,” he stammered. “I’m Rusty.” He reached and s
hook her hand. I would have been impressed with him but his eyes never made it past her chest.
“Guys, this is Ashe,” I said inviting her in. I turned and whispered to Rusty, “Look her in the eye, bud.”
SallyAnn came in and said, “Hi, I am SallyAnn. The dufus is Rusty.”
Ashe laughed and came in. “We are having hamburgers. I assume you want yours rare, Ashe?”
“Yeah, nice and bloody, please,” she said and winked at me.
“I would like just a small burger with lots of veggies,” I yelled.
SallyAnn yelled, “I just want a burger however you cook it.”
Rusty walked out onto the back porch and put on a chef’s hat. “Master chef at your service, my ladies.”
I pulled out a carafe of iced tea and poured glasses for everyone.
“This is a really nice area,” Ashe said. “More room than my area.”
“We’re on five acres,” I said. “Gives room for Penny to run. Plus, we have the pond for her to swim in.”
“That is so cool,” Ashe said. She picked up her burger and juice dripped down here chin. “This is delicious, Rusty. You rock.”
We enjoyed dinner and then the kids excused themselves to do their homework.
“They are good kids,” Ashe said.
“Yeah, till you have to clean up the toilet.” I laughed. “But yes, they are good kids.”
Penny came up to me and said, “Ready to go out?”
The color drained out of Ashe’s face. She whispered to me, “Did the dog just talk?”
I looked at Ashe and at Penny. Penny looked at Ashe. “You can hear me, too?” She stood up and wagged her tail.
Ashe looked at me. “She is talking.” She gritted out trying to be quiet.
“Cool,” Penny said. “Let’s go for a run.” She ran into the kitchen and came back with her leash in her mouth.
“Um, hey kids, we are going out for a walk,” I yelled. The kids grunted a response. I quickly put the leash on Penny and grabbed Ashe by the arm and yanked her outside. “You can hear her? I wasn’t sure since you didn’t say anything before.”
“Well yeah, she is talking,” Ashe said.
Run, Penny said wiggling her whole body.
I looked down at her. Her tongue lolled out like a smile, and I caved. “Okay, we will go for a run.” Since it was very dark out I looked at Ashe, “What do you think? No one will notice.” She turned away as I stripped quickly. I thought of the wind in my mane and suddenly I was my alicorn self. Ashe grabbed Penny’s leash and we took off at a brisk trot. Ashe kept up easily with her speed and Penny was having a blast.
“So, Penny actually talks.”
When I am shifted or at least partially shifted, she can talk really easily, I thought back to her.
“Hey cool, I can hear you now too,” she said out loud. “So, if we are both fully shifted, she is like a transmitter for us. That is great.” She looked at my long nose. “Because your English skills aren’t so great with that nose.”
We stayed out about an hour before I thought we better get back. I tossed my head toward home.
Penny looked at me. Aw, Mom, it is just getting fun.
Ashe ruffled her under the ears and laughed. “You are such a good dog! You are wonderful.”
As we walked back to the house, Ashe told me how great the kids were and we would have to do this again.
Nightly walks became our thing. After a hard day at the State’s Attorney’s Office, it was a relief when Penny would come up with her leash in her mouth. SallyAnn looked at me. “Mom, are you sure it is safe for you to go out at night?”
“Yeah, I am good,” I answered. “I meet up with Ashe. And you know they taught her self-defense at the sheriff’s office. We always are together. Plus, we have Penny.”
SallyAnn laughed. “Oh sure Mom, a golden retriever. Everyone is so terrified of a golden and her wagging tail.” Penny obliged her by rubbing up against SallyAnn and wagging her tail happily. She made her trademark “woowoowoo” noise through the leash to let us know she was ready to go.
“I guess that is my cue.” I laughed and grabbed her leash. Penny obediently walked beside me and jumped into my Camry.
As soon as we got to the park I put the car into the darkest spot. I looked around and spotted Ashe. She waved. I slid down and removed all my clothes and got out of the car naked. Thank God I live in Florida, I thought. I could not imagine doing this in the snow. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the wild feeling in my chest. Quickly the change overtook my body.
Ashe came up and I could tell she had changed too. Her skin glowed more, her eyes were darker, and I could just see the tips of her fangs against her lips. We started jogging down the path. Ashe had Penny’s leash in case anyone spotted us. It was against the rules to have a dog off-leash in this park. I wasn’t sure if there were any rules about having an alicorn off lead.
The night seemed particularly dark. I turned to Penny and asked her if she had noticed. She looked at me and said, It smells funny too.
Ashe heard our thoughts and chimed in. I thought it was just me. It smells off to me tonight. I can’t put my finger on it, but it isn’t right.
We kept jogging and Penny’s ears perked up and Ashe pointed to a small rise. “Over that hill, I heard something.” There was a small flash of light, and the three of us silently trotted over the grass. Fortunately, the moon was covered by the clouds so none of us stood out. When I looked over there was guy pointing his hand at a young woman and sparks were flying from his fingertips. The sparks zapped the woman and she cried out in pain. He laughed and said in a deep voice, “Let’s see you dance.” More sparks flowed from his fingers and the woman jumped and screamed.
“We have to help her,” Ashe whispered.
I’m in. You go left, I’ll go right, I said back to her.
Penny started running towards the guy barking, I will be the distraction!
That’s our cue. I took off cantering the short distance to him.
The perp looked up at Penny’s barking. Rage crossed his face as he aimed his sparks at her. The first ones hit her and she yelped in pain. She dropped to the ground crying. The guy laughed. “Stupid dog,” he growled. I saw Ashe run in and grab the girl and pick her up off the ground. She threw her over her shoulder and carried her out of danger. The guy turned his back and realized his prey was gone. “Okay bitch, where did you go?” he said.
Seeing Penny hurt and hearing this guy threaten that poor woman just made me see red. I was so angry he thought he could just hurt her with no repercussions. Before I knew what came over me, I was running toward him and him and aiming my horn at his chest. I heard a thick thwack like an arrow hitting a target. The next thing I knew his body was impaled and he wasn’t going to hurt any other women or dogs again.
“Wow,” Ashe said. “That is pretty gnarly.”
I turned to look at her and realized the guy was still hanging there impaled on my horn. Uh, a little help please.
She came over and I lowered my head. She pulled the scumbag off and there was a slurping noise as his body fell. Gross. Remind me to find a cleaner way to do that next time.
Penny came over to me and licked my muzzle, Good job. He deserved it.
I quickly changed back to a human and gave Penny a big hug. I rubbed her all over. “Oh my gosh are you okay, girl? I was so worried about you?”
Ashe leaned over and nuzzled her. “Don’t you ever scare us like that again.” Penny gave her a big doggy kiss and thumped her tail on the ground loving all the attention.
“I guess we need to find the girl again.” Ashe looked at me and did a double take. “Honey, you are going to have to figure out the deal with clothes.”
I looked down at my body. For a change I didn’t see saggy breasts and a tummy. I saw power. I saw a fighter. She wiped off my forehead and rubbed her bloody hand on her shorts.
“Hey, why is that chick naked?” the woman called out.
Ashe ran to the car and ba
ck faster than I could take a breath and handed me my sweats. “You’re a lifesaver,” I smiled. I threw them on wishing my sweatshirt had a built-in bra. Maybe I needed to invent a sweatshirt with a shelf bra…hmmm.
We walked over to the woman. Penny ran up to her and sniffed her all over. She bent over to give her some loving. “Thank you so much for the help. You guys saved me.”
I put out my fist for a fist bump. “I am Sienna. This is Ashe.”
She bumped fists with me, “I am Kelly.”
“Who was that guy?” I asked. “He was wicked.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “He grabbed me up, and brought me out here and then started with those crazy sparks out of his hands.”
She was a pretty young thing. Probably about twenty. Her clothes were ripped and she was dirty from the fight.
“Do you know why he took you?” Ashe asked.
She looked down and shook her head. “Well, we need to call the cops,” I said. My phone was in the car. I needed to work on the whole clothes and phone thing both, it appeared.
“Oh no, you can’t call the police,” she interrupted. “They won’t help me. They don’t help my kind.” Penny rubbed her head into Kelly’s hand. Trying to comfort the girl.
“Of course they will help you,” I tried to correct her. “That guy hurt you. That is a felony.” Even though Pam was sure the office wouldn’t help, I really hoped we still prosecuted for the people, not just some of the people.
“Um, the cops won’t do squat.” She looked at us trying to get her point across. I put my hand on her. I knew I shouldn’t with the rules of the sickness, but I just felt like she needed human contact. “Look, I work for the State Attorney’s Office. I am sure I can help.”
She looked at me. “Look, you just don’t get it. Cops, the law, the courts, they won’t help me. I am magical. Okay, there I said it.” She took a deep breath. “They won’t help me or those who are like me.” She looked at his dead body. “That is the only way to get justice.”
Running a guy through with my horn seemed a little drastic to me. I really wanted the legal system to help a woman like her. Ashe casually looked at her fingernails ignoring my inner distress. I looked at her to correct the girl but instead she didn’t say anything about getting help from the authorities.