by Karli Perrin
“Boyfriend?” Adam asks. “Have you forgotten about the huge rock on your finger?”
“Of course not. But when you ask stupid questions, boyfriend seems more fitting than fiancé. Emphasis on boy.”
“You can’t just demote me like that,” he shouts after us.
I laugh as the door closes behind us. I walk over to the fridge and grab two bottles of water. I hand one to Connie. “So, when is the wedding?”
“We haven’t booked it yet.”
“That will be fun if I wake up and don’t remember it’s your wedding.”
She laughs. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure it’s written all over your apartment leading up to the big day.”
“Speaking of weddings…you and Spencer seem to be getting along well.”
“Jesus, Con. I’ve only known the guy for a couple of days. Slow down.”
She winks. “When you know, you know.”
“Did you hear me say that I know?”
“Well, don’t you?”
“No!”
She laughs. “Well…I think he knows.”
“If you’ve got something to say, just say it.”
“Fine. I saw something in his bag.”
I groan. “I can’t believe you went snooping through his bag.”
“I wasn’t snooping! I walked by and I knocked it with my leg. It was open and something fell out.”
“Well? What was it?”
“A box of condoms…”
I fold my arms across my chest. “And?”
“Number one – why does he have condoms? Number two - why are they XX-freaking-L?”
“I have no idea. Maybe he’s planning on having sex. Maybe he has a massive dick. Why don’t you go back out there and ask him?”
“Maybe I will.” She walks over to the window and pretends to open it. “Hey Spencer, my sister says you’ve got a massive dick.”
“Don’t you dare!”
She laughs. “Don’t you think it’s weird that he’s brought condoms on a road trip with you?”
“No. It was a joke. I saw him buy them.”
“Oh, the plot thickens. You bought them together.”
I stifle a laugh. “From a gas station, off an old lady who told us to go and have fun.”
“And are you?”
“Am I what?”
“Going to have fun?”
I take a drink of water. “You’re overstepping the sibling line.”
She laughs. “You seem happy, Cor. The happiest I’ve seen you in a while.”
My eyebrows shoot up. I don’t ask a lot of questions since I prefer to focus on the present, but I can’t help but appreciate any little tidbits I receive. “Yeah?”
She nods. “Yeah. I like Spencer. I like the way he looks at you.” She smirks. “I like the way you desperately try not to look at him the same way.”
I almost down the bottle of water to delay having to come up with a response. “If you like him so much then why don’t you marry him instead of Adam?” Childish, I know, but I couldn’t think of anything better. My only other option was ‘shush’.
She points out of the window. “Because I’m in love with that weirdo out there.” I peek over her shoulder and laugh as I watch him try and teach Spencer some random dance move. “And also because I think Spencer would rather marry a different sister.”
I point the empty bottle at her. “You’re batshit crazy, you know that, right?”
“It runs in the family.”
“Come on, let’s go and save him from Adam.” I throw the bottle into the trash before following Connie out of the door.
She looks over her shoulder and whispers, “Seriously though. XXL? Good luck with that.”
I don’t respond until we get back to the boys. “Spencer?”
“Mmhmm?”
“Connie wants to know why you’ve got XXL condoms in your bag.”
She blushes. “Cora!”
Adam starts to laugh so loud that the entire street will be able to hear him. “XXL? That stands for extra extra little, right?”
He smirks. “Extra extra large, actually. You obviously don’t need them if you don’t even know what it stands for.”
“You’re right, I don’t need them. I don’t wear anything at all.”
“TMI ADAM!” Connie shouts, going even redder. “Come on, it’s time for bed.” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down. “Yeah, right. The only thing being turned on tonight is Netflix.”
I laugh when Spencer’s eyes find mine. “I guess Netflix and relax really is a thing.”
“Huh?” Connie asks, looking confused.
“Spencer isn’t a fan of Netflix and chill. He likes to actually watch the show.”
“Ah yeah,” Connie says. “That’s what I like to call Netflix and don’t fucking touch me. Nothing can come between me and Brooklyn nine-nine.”
“Hey, did you know that Spencer’s brother is a detective?”
“Of course I know,” Adam replies.
“Oh, that’s right, I forgot about your little bromance.”
“Don’t hate, Cora. You can’t be greedy and keep him all to yourself.”
“For the record,” Spencer says, turning to me. “You don’t have to share me if you don’t want to.”
“Bro!” Adam shouts. “I thought we had a good thing going on.”
“Come on, Casanova,” Connie says, taking his hand. “Goodnight, you two.”
“See you in the morning,” I tell her. “Love you.”
“Love you too,” she replies over her shoulder.
“Love you, Spencer!” Adam shouts jokingly.
“Love you too, Bro. If I don’t see you in the morning, good luck with the audition.”
“Good luck,” I add. “Break a leg!”
“You mean that!” he shouts, before disappearing into the house.
I turn back to Spencer and get butterflies at the way he’s looking at me. It’s so intense, I’m forced to look away. Connie may like the way he looks at me, but I didn’t tell her that I love it. Nobody has ever looked at me the way that he does. It’s as though he’s seeing the old me. The whole me, before I became broken.
He pats the ground next to him. “And then there were two.”
“Um, it’s late…maybe we should…”
“You’re overthinking again, Cora.”
I nod and sit down. “You’re only using me now that Adam has gone to bed. I’m your second choice.”
“That’s impossible. You will never be my second choice.”
Great. Now my butterflies have butterflies. “I saw you two dancing,” I say, steering the conversation back onto safe ground.
“Are you jealous?”
“Not at all. I just didn’t know you could dance.”
“Oh, I can dance,” he says, cockily.
“Well, come on then. Aren’t you going to show me what he taught you?”
“Nah. I’ve got my own moves.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”
“I’ll show you, if you think you can handle it...”
“Out here, for everyone to see?”
“I mean…” He shrugs. “If that’s what you’re into...”
My heart begins to race. Whatever this is with Spencer, I don’t want it to stop. I know it has to, but I want to feel this way for a little while longer. Does that make me selfish? Probably. Human? Definitely. I laugh nervously. “The truth is…” I hesitate, but his words echo in my head. Stop overthinking. I shrug. “The truth is that I don’t even know what I’m into anymore.”
“Well then perhaps you owe it to yourself to do a little experimenting.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
He holds out a hand to me. “I volunteer as tribute.”
I take his hand, which is a good thing since his book reference makes me go weak at the knees. “Book or movie?” I simply ask.
“Both,” he whispers as he pulls me closer to him.
I love it when a man talks di
rty to me.
“Impressive. Which came first for you?”
“The movie,” he says, taking hold of my left hand and placing it onto his right shoulder. I swallow hard because holy shit, it’s rock solid. Who knew a shoulder could make me this giddy? If his arms are this impressive, I can only imagine what his other body parts are like…
“I always watch the movie first,” he adds, breaking me out of my trance.
“Why?” I ask, aware that I’m blushing like a schoolgirl who has never been this close to a boy before.
“Because I can actually enjoy the film without sitting there the whole time thinking about how the book is so much better.”
I lean my head to one side. “I’ve never thought about it like that.”
He grins. “You’re welcome.” He takes hold of my other hand, threading his fingers through mine. I don’t get an electric shock this time. No. I feel something much more powerful. Being joined with him makes me feel strong. Safe. Whole. We’re both silent as he begins to lead, and I’m surprised how quick we fall into an easy rhythm. Back step. Side step. Forward step. Repeat.
“So you really are good at dancing,” I say.
“I’m good at a lot of things, Cora.”
I swallow hard. “What else are you good at?”
“You’ll find out.”
More silence, even though the sexual tension is deafening. “What are we doing, Spencer?”
“We’re dancing.”
“No. I mean, what are we doing?”
He smirks, knowing exactly what I mean. “The Waltz.”
“Do you do this with all the girls?”
“No. I haven’t danced with anyone but you and my old instructor.”
“I wasn’t talking about the dancing.”
“There are no other girls so no, I don’t do this with all the girls.”
More silence, and when it becomes too intense, I ask, “When did you learn to dance?”
“About a year ago. It was one of the things on my bucket list.”
“That’s awesome. What else is on it?”
“I’ll show you…but only if you agree to help me tick one of them off.”
“I can’t agree to it without seeing what’s on it first.”
“Fine. The list is at my apartment. You can come over and take a look once we’re back in San Francisco.”
“Hmmm, I see what you did there.”
He shrugs, which makes me grip his shoulder tighter. “Now it’s my turn to ask you a question.”
“Okay.”
“Would you rather…”
I laugh. “Please tell me we’re not carrying on with Adam’s little game.”
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he lets go of my hand and places it onto his other shoulder. Before I even have time to process what’s happening, he leans to the side and dips me. He looks at me with such an intense stare, it makes me feel like I’m waking up from an eighteen-month slumber. “Would you rather kiss me now, under the stars, or later, under the covers?” My eyes widen and my heart starts to race. I try to compose myself but it’s too late, he’s already seen how much his words have affected me.
He helps me back up before taking my hand and placing it over his chest. My breath and his heart are in a race…to the death, apparently. “You may not know what you like, but I know what I like.”
I try to talk but nothing comes out the first time. “What do you like?” It’s a good thing we’re standing so close because it comes out as a whisper.
“I like you, Cora.”
“My life is messy.”
He closes his eyes. “So is mine.”
“We sound like the perfect disaster.”
“Or a beautiful one,” he replies, opening his eyes. He runs his hands down my arms and then begins to rub at the goosebumps. The ones he’s caused. “You’re cold.”
“No,” I simply reply. My whole body is on fire, burning for him. My soul is alight.
“You didn’t answer my question, Cora.”
“That’s because I’m still deciding.”
He pushes a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Do you need some help with that?”
After all I’ve been through, I decide that I deserve a moment of happiness. One little moment of normality.
So I nod.
His eyes soften and he leans in, just as Adam shouts, “Get a room!” I jump backwards and look up to see both Adam and Connie looking out of their bedroom window.
Spencer laughs. “Do you want to go somewhere more private?”
I sigh as I feel my walls coming back up. “I don’t think that would be very sensible.”
“Why not?”
“Because if I go inside with you, I’ll be tempted to do things that I’m not allowed to do out here in public.”
He runs his hands down his face. “Cora, Cora, Cora. Why do you have to say that kind of thing to me?”
“I’m just being honest.”
“That’s all I want.” He chuckles. “Well, it’s not all I want, but you know what I mean.”
“You’re right about me, Spencer. I do overthink things. I’m a writer, so I find it hard not to plot in my head. I like to weigh up everything and consider all of the different paths our story could take. But it’s hard because when I think about you, no matter which path I take, the ending is always the same.”
Falling for you.
Forgetting you.
“Who says we need an ending?”
Me. More specifically, my amnesia. “Everything comes to an end.”
He shakes his head. “Stop plotting. Just go with it. See where the story takes you.”
“I want to but…”
He silences me with his lips.
Soft.
Slow.
Sensual.
Exactly how a first kiss should be.
And when he stops, I’m left speechless.
Breathless.
Fearless.
We stare at each other for what feels like minutes until I sigh and say, “Goodnight, Spencer.”
He places his hands inside his pockets. “Sweet dreams, Cora.”
I begin to walk backwards. “Are you staying out here?”
“Just for a little while.” He looks up at the clear night sky. “It’s a good night to look at the stars and wish.”
I want to ask him what he’s going to wish for but instead, I turn around and walk inside. When I reach the door, I glance up at the brightest star in the sky and make a wish of my own.
I wish for a miracle. I wish to be cured of this curse so that maybe one day, I can live a normal life and spend it with a man like Spencer.
Chapter Eleven
I wake up with a smile on my face.
Unlike the last couple of nights, I didn’t have any nightmares.
I’m pretty sure I have Spencer to thank for that.
I dreamt of our kiss.
I dreamt of what might have happened after our kiss.
I close my eyes and remember just how good it felt. How real it felt.
My heart starts to pound when I picture him on top of me.
My eyes spring open when it all gets a little too much. Ignoring the throbbing between my thighs, I jump out of bed and head to the bathroom for a much-needed cold shower.
Five minutes later, I could give Elsa a run for her money. I’m completely frozen. Although, I’m still not sure how I’m supposed to look Spencer in the eye after the sordid things he did to me in my dreams.
With one towel wrapped around my body and another on top of my head, I open the bathroom door and walk straight into him. I guess I’m about to find out sooner than I’d hoped. I swallow hard as I look up at him. “Um…hi.” He knows. How could he not? I must have it written all over my goddamn face.
“Good morning, Cora.” His eyes fall to my towel. The towel which is only covering a third of my body. The towel which now feels paper thin. I make a mental note to buy Connie bigger towels for Christmas. The thickest ones I can
find. I grip onto it tightly to make sure it stays put. “I approve of your outfit choice,” he says, when his gaze finally meets mine.
I raise an eyebrow. “You approve?”
“I do.”
“And what would happen if you didn’t?”
He shrugs. “I guess you would have to take it off.”
My cheeks flame as I thaw on the spot. I even look down to check that I’m not standing in a puddle. I’m ready to take my second cold shower of the day. “Well thank god you approve.”
He leans his head to one side. “Actually, I’ve changed my mind. I’m not sure beige is your color. I think you need to take…”
I barge past him and practically run back to the spare bedroom. Once inside, I shut the door behind me and take some deep, steadying breaths. Why am I letting him get to me so much? I need to tell him the truth about my amnesia ASAP because once he finds out, he won’t hang around long enough for me to develop any more feelings for him.
I sigh and let my towel drop to the floor before I begin to pull clothes out of my bag. For some reason, nothing seems nice enough. Pretty enough. Sexy enough. Sexy enough for who? I ask myself, even though I already know the answer to that. I pull on some panties and get one foot into my jeans when there’s a knock at the bedroom door. I freeze. “Hello?”
Please let it be Connie. Please let it be…
“It’s me.”
Of course it’s not Connie.
“Just a second!” I tell Spencer as I scramble to get my jeans on. I get one leg in, but my foot gets stuck inside the other leg. I begin to hop around, trying my best to push my foot through the end which has folded in on itself. I keep trying but squeal as I go over on my ankle and end up on the floor. “Fuck!” I shout. “Ouch!”
“Cora? What’s happened?”
“Ouch, ouch, ouch!”
“I’m coming in…”
The door begins to open but halts the second I shout, “No! Stop!”
“Tell me what’s happening.”
“I’ve hurt my ankle.”
“So why can’t I come in to help?”
“Because I’m not dressed.”
“Why can’t I come in?” he asks again, his tone playful now. At least one of us finds this amusing.
I try to stand up and cry out in pain as soon as I put any pressure on it. “Fuck!”
“Now what are you doing?”