by Riley London
But he didn’t say a word.
Zachary didn’t speak, either, instead opting to blow out a heavy breath. “I’m tired. Can we get back to bed, now?”
“Of course.” Mrs. Deveraux smiled. “I’ll see you all tomorrow morning.”
“Yep. See ya.” Zachary offered her a small salute, as he turned to leave the room.
“You didn’t rat Charlie out.” I was speaking to Zachary, as we both returned to our dorm.
“Wrong. I didn’t rat myself out. Benjamin neither.” Zachary said, as he moved towards his side of the room. “Having a human die while out in the field, even for a few minutes? I wasn’t in the mood to explain that shit. Besides, he’s fine, isn’t he? No need to put that on our permanent records.”
“Oh. So, you were just trying to save your own ass, then.” I took a seat on the edge of my bed.
“Yeah, basically. But it worked out for you, too, so congrats.”
“Zachary, I almost lost my best friend tonight.”
“But you didn’t.”
“Yeah, I didn’t, but I almost did.” I shook my head. “Why is it so hard for you to have empathy? I know what happened with your parents, but—”
“I have empathy.” Zachary cut into my words. “But I already told you. Life is hard, and this life is even harder.”
“Then, why even bother with it?”
“Because someone convinced me that it’d be worth it, that being an angel would mean being part of something bigger than myself, protecting the innocent.” Zachary gave me a knowing look.
And I smiled back at him. “Gee, that sounds super familiar.”
“Told you, Benjie must be collecting us.” Zachary winked. “You should get to bed, though. Class starts pretty early in the morning.”
“Goodnight, Zachary.”
“Night.” Zachary kept his bedtime sign-off short, as he shifted down towards his bed. “Be careful. I’ve still got my eye on you, Celeste Venoix.”
I scoffed in the darkness of the room, before I rolled over onto my own bedsheets.
Zachary Lancaster was the most frustrating person I’d ever met.
Ugh.
I hoped to God that I’d get to pick my own roommate next year.
“Parry! Parry!” Benjamin screamed, as he ran towards me with a wooden sword.
I held my own fake sword in my hands, too, as I reacted to Benjamin, attempting to thwart his next move. I slashed down towards the right, but he expertly moved out of the way, before his sword caught me behind the leg.
“Again.” Benjamin brought his sword back to his side, before he looked me up and down. “Unless you need to rest?”
“No rest.” I was completely out of breath, but there was something about taking breaks during training that I just didn’t like.
Maybe because I thought it made me look weak, and weak was the last thing I wanted to be, especially since I was the new girl.
I didn’t want people to think that they could walk all over me, not that anyone had tried.
Just the thought of someone disrespecting me appeared to get the rage boiling in my blood, and I came at Benjamin hard, with another swipe of my sword.
“Good! Harder!” Benjamin screamed again. “Commit to the movement, Celeste!”
Another swipe, and Benjamin took a step to the left, which caused him to fall backwards on the training mat below.
I then took the opportunity to hold the tip of my fake sword to his chest, as I beamed down at him with a breathless grin. “Again. Unless you need a rest?”
Benjamin grinned up at me, and then he pushed himself away from my sword. “You’re getting better at that.”
“Yeah, well, you’ve had me in this goddamn room for hours.” I ran a hand through my hair, as I glanced around the training area. “Is there a clock or anything? Isn’t it at least lunchtime by now?”
“You’re hungry?”
I shook my head in response. “Not really. I just wanted to talk to Charlie.”
“You’ve been trying to talk to Charlie since last night.” Benjamin spun his sword in his hands, and I couldn’t tell if he was showing off or just idly passing the time.
“I mean, I wanted to talk to him about something else last night. Now, I specifically want to talk to him about last night.”
“Did you know he could do that? Heal himself?”
“...Maybe.” I carefully considered my next words. “Benjamin, can I tell you a secret?”
Benjamin stopped his sword tricks, as he gave me a serious look. “You can tell me anything you’d like, Celeste.”
“So, you remember when you broke my wrist? And you said that prayer or whatever over it?”
“Yes?”
“Uh, well, when I first found Charlie on the side of the road—”
“You found Charlie on the side of the road?”
“It’s how we met.” I shrugged, before I continued. “He’d been stabbed, right in the chest. And I think someone had stolen his wallet. A robbery gone bad, I think.”
“So, what’s the secret?”
I stammered, as I tried to piece my thoughts together. “How does it work? When you pray for something to be healed? The angels have to decide to do the healing part, right?”
“Yes, of course.”
“So...there’s never been anyone who’s able to do the healing part, by themselves?”
“Not in the history of angels, no.” Benjamin stopped himself, before he peered back at me. “Celeste. Are you suggesting that you’ve been able to heal Charlie, all by yourself?”
“I don’t know.” I answered honestly. “I mean, I don’t have any evidence for it, either way. I just can’t think of anything else. How does he keep coming back to life?”
“It might not be you. We still don’t know what Charlie might be.” Benjamin replied. “Sometimes those born to half-angels are given a gift from the angels. It helps them in their training.”
“If that’s true, what’s Zachary’s gift, then? The gift of gab?” I joked.
Benjamin stilled at my words. “Zachary told you about his parents? That they were half?”
“Yeah, when he thought Charlie was dead. I think he might’ve told me just to make me feel better, in his own, twisted way, I guess.”
“Zachary doesn’t talk about his parents. Not with me. Not with anyone.” Benjamin had a shocked look on his face. “He brought them up once with me in high school, and then never again.”
“Is he ashamed or something?” I asked. “Is there something wrong with just being half-angel?”
“He’s not ashamed of his family. He’s ashamed of himself.” Benjamin brought his sword up towards his shoulder. “Although, he has nothing to be ashamed of. He did what was necessary. He did what was right. If his parents had been allowed to continue in that state, they could’ve hurt so many innocent children.”
“Why do you like him?”
“What?”
“Zachary.” I clarified. “Why do you like Zachary?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, Benjamin. You just seem so nice and understanding.” I explained. “And Zachary seems...uh...”
“Prickly?” Benjamin suggested.
“Prickly, sure. Asshole-y? Even better.”
“Zachary gave up a lot to be a part of this world. He just doesn’t want to lose it.” Benjamin smiled. “Honestly, I thought you two would get along a lot better than you have been. You’re quite similar.”
“Eh. Great minds get into a lot of fights.”
“I thought the saying was that great minds think alike?”
“Charlie modified it.” I grinned at the memory.
“Do you love him?”
“Are you talking about as a friend or—”
“You look at him as if you’re in love with him.” Benjamin continued. “I’ve seen it, from time to time.”
“I’m not in love with Charlie.” I waved off the line of questioning. “And even if I was, it wouldn’t ma
tter, anyway. He’s never been into me like that.”
“No. He loves you, too.” Benjamin had a confident tone to his voice. “It’s plain as day in his eyes.”
“Yeah, right. If he had feelings for me, why wouldn’t he just say something?”
“Have you said something to him about your feelings?”
“No.”
“Then why would you ever expect the same from him?” Benjamin replied. “But don’t worry. The truth will come out, sooner or later. It always does.”
“I never expected you to be the school gossip, Benjamin.” I rolled my eyes. “Please don’t go around spreading rumors about me and Charlie, alright? There’s nothing there. I promise.”
Suddenly, Benjamin used his wooden sword to strike me in the back of both my knees. I ended up falling on my side, as the coldness of the training mat hit me right in the face.
“Ow! What the hell, Benjamin?”
“There’s nothing there.” Benjamin laughed. “That’s for lying to me, Celeste. I can’t stand being lied to.”
“I saw someone’s wings today.” Charlie sounded awed, as he slid into the seat next to me in the cafeteria. “Have you seen anyone’s wings yet?”
“No. I can’t even see my own.” I wanted to pout but decided to suppress the desire. “How were you able to see someone’s wings, man?”
“No idea. I just peeked into one of the training classes, because I was looking for you and Benjamin. And I just...I saw this girl’s wings, during their fight.” Charlie shook his head. “They were beautiful. They were terrifying. And they were suspiciously white, like she'd been bleaching them or something.”
“No fair.” I crossed my arms against my chest. “How come you get to see that kind of shit? I’m the angel! I’m supposed to be able to see it, too.”
“Have you tried, I dunno, squinting really hard and seeing if that works?” Charlie shrugged. “Ooh, do you think they sell something like angel-grade contact lenses?”
“I’m going to kill you.”
“Yeah? Good luck.” Charlie chuckled, and I chuckled right along with him.
“I’m so happy that you’re not dead, Charlie. Seriously. That would’ve fucked me right up.”
“Me too.” Charlie tapped the edge of his bowl with a spoon. “So, what’s next on the angel agenda? We already sat through the most boring class in the universe, and then you had your training for the day. Do you think we could just spend some time together, one-on-one? Or is that against the rules?”
“One-on-one?”
“Just hanging out together, you know.” Charlie smiled.
But the way his fingers trembled were telling me that something was happening underneath the surface.
What was Charlie nervous about?
Shit.
Was this even my Charlie, at all?
Was it possible that he was still possessed by some demon, and was just trying to get me alone?
“Abaddon sucks.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Abaddon sucks, and he’s never going to be the true Prince of Hell.”
“...Okay. That sounds like a controversial opinion, but I’m not sure how that’s relevant.” Charlie chuckled again. “Are you going to hang out with me or not, Celeste?”
“Sure. I’ll hang out with you.” I noticed that Charlie’s fingers continued to lightly shake. “You want to hang out on the quad or—”
“Uh, you can just come to my room. Benjie’s gonna’ be out doing stuff until late tonight.”
“He’s letting you call him ‘Benjie’ now?”
“Oh, God, no. He’d kill me if he heard me call him that.” Charlie laughed. “But I have hope that in the future, he and I are going to be really good friends.”
“Oh, Charlie. You’ve always been so optimistic.”
“Why be anything else?” Charlie grabbed for the glass of water beside his bowl, as he took a big sip.
“I’m going to be out of your hair until later tonight.” It was Zachary’s voice, and it sounded like he was standing right behind me. “Don’t do anything stupid until then, got it?”
I turned around in my seat, to find Zachary standing directly in my line of sight. “Wait. Both you and Benjamin are going to be busy tonight? What’s going on?”
“None of your business.”
“That’s super helpful.” I made sure that my tone was dripping with sarcasm. “Come on. I’m officially one of the angels, right? Why can’t I know what’s up?”
“Because you’re not one of the angels.” Zachary looked like I’d just hurled an insult right at him. “You’re a stray, and your friend’s a tag-along.”
“Hey. Back off.” Charlie replied.
A bewildered grin appeared on Zachary’s face. “Did you just tell me to back off?”
“Yes. I did.”
“You’re a brave little whatever-you-are, aren’t you?” Zachary moved over, until he stood behind Charlie. “But if you talk to me like that again, I’ll stuff your jaw down your throat.”
“Yeah? And I’ll tell Mrs. Deveraux about that time I died and came back to life and you didn’t say anything about it.”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“I might, if I feel like it.” Charlie slightly raised his shoulders. “What’s she gonna’ do? Kick me off campus? Good. Maybe then, I can go back to my real life.”
Zachary looked like he wanted to say something else, but instead he turned around and walked away.
“Thanks for standing up for me, even though I didn’t really need it. Zachary is mostly talk.” I smiled over at Charlie.
“Whatever. He doesn’t get to talk to you like that, whether he means it or not.”
“You’re being quite chivalrous today. What year is it? 1654?” I quipped.
“No, my dear, I believe it’s 1657. Something in the air tells me that France and England have just formed an alliance against Spain.”
“Nerd.” I laughed, and Charlie beamed back at me with a bright smile.
“The biggest nerd you know.”
“As careless as Eutychus, as vain as Absalom...” I was reading through one of the books on Benjamin’s bookshelf. It looked old and felt heavy, like it’d come from another century. “Is this poetry? I have no idea what any of this means.”
“Doesn’t look like a poetry book to me.” Charlie took the hefty book into his own hands. “I think it might be some kind of study guide? Something to help students remember stuff.”
Charlie then flipped towards the front of the book, as he bent his face closer towards its pages. “Yep. See? It has to be a study guide. There’s an index and everything.”
Charlie paused. “Oh.”
“Oh?”
“Looks like it was given to Benjamin Nash, passed down from his father, also named Benjamin Nash.”
“Oh. So, Benjamin’s a Jr.?”
“No.” Charlie answered. “Benjamin’s a sixth, at least according to this little family tree at the front.”
“Benjamin Nash The Sixth...” I rolled the thought around my brain. “That must put the pressure on.”
“Yeah. I couldn’t imagine growing up like that, with people expecting so much from you.” Charlie placed the book back onto the bookshelf. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, my parents expected stuff from me, too. Just not angel stuff. Not saving the world stuff.”
“You could save the world, if you really wanted to.” I smiled over at Charlie. “Plus, you could probably figure out how to turn the whole process into some kind of app, too, and make a bunch of money on the side.”
“Okay, first of all, if I was trying to save the world, money would be the last thing on my mind.” Charlie grinned. “And second of all, how smart do you think I am, Celeste?”
“Pretty damn smart.”
“Yeah, well, that’s not true.” Charlie shook his head. “I’m an idiot.”
“Charlie, you’re the furthest thing from an idiot—”
“No, Celeste. I’m dumb. J
ust truly and inexplicably dumb.” Charlie continued. “I almost died, died, without letting you know how I feel about you.”
“...How you feel about me?”
“Yes.” Charlie shifted, until his back rested against the bookshelf. “Celeste, ever since the day we met, ever since you followed me to that ER, there’s just been something about you. And yesterday, when I was dying on the floor of Garry’s, all I could think about was how much I was going to miss you, how much I was going to miss the way your eyes crinkle up when you smile, how much I was going to miss your menacing stares when I’d hog the TV remote, how I was going to miss how excited you’d get when I’d cook something you love for dinner...”
Charlie sighed, before he continued. “And that’s when I realized that I am a complete and total idiot. How could I not let you know how I feel about you? Even if there isn’t a chance in Hell that you feel the same way about me, even if it might ruin our friendship. I don’t care. You need to know that I’m in love with you, Celeste, and you need to know that before I end up dying again, because next time it could be more permanent.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Don’t say what? That I love you? Or that I might end up dead? Because both of those things are true—”
“You’re not going to die again, Charlie. I’m not going to let it happen, okay?”
“Right...” Charlie didn’t sound convinced. “And...about the rest of the stuff? You know, the me being hopelessly in love with you stuff?”
“That’s...I...” My words trailed off, as I tried to explain myself. “That’s a lot, Charlie.”
“Got it. You don’t feel the same way.” Charlie shrugged. “Not a big deal. We can just pretend like it never happened—”
“That’s not what I said.” I was a little annoyed by Charlie’s response. “I said that it’s a lot, and it is right now. Charlie, I have feelings for you, too. You’re the first guy I’ve met who treated me like a person, really, and on top of that, you can cook and you’re hot.”