by Cecil, Amy
"But …"
He shakes his head. "No buts. Just trust me."
"Ok." I put my head down. Why do I feel like I was just scolded? Shaking these feelings away, I ask, "So how are they treating you?"
He laughs again. "Good. I get three meals a day and roof over my head."
"That's not what I meant." I roll my eyes.
"It's ok. The food sucks and I sure as hell miss your cooking, but other than that and being away from home, it's all good."
"I hate seeing you in here in that god-awful orange jumpsuit."
"What, orange isn't my color?" he teases.
"Are you gonna get out of here soon?"
"Vince is hopeful, but we don't know anything for sure."
The guard interrupts, "Two minutes."
"Well, I better go. I'm sorry if I stepped out of line, Ice. I was just worried for you."
"I know. You've always looked out for me and it means a lot."
He smiles and then turns to the guard and says, "I'm ready." The guard gets up and walks over to him. When he gets behind him, Ice stands up and turns toward the door. He looks back at me and says, "Thanks for coming by. It's good seeing you." He pauses and then adds, "Remember your promise."
And suddenly I remember. Right before he left for Ireland, he asked me to look after Emma for him. I thought I was.
"Bye, Ice. Take care of yourself," I say as the tears begin to well up into my eyes. Him being here fucking sucks. I hate it and it breaks my heart that he can't be home with his family. Damn you, Emma.
Right after he leaves, the guard who brought me to this room comes to the door. "Miss Benson, I'll escort you out."
I nod and get up from the chair. We leave the same way we came in and he walks me all the way to the door. Well, that accomplished nothing. I can't help the way I feel and I still think that he is being too trusting of Sainte. I don't care what Ice says, I'm not gonna let them out of my sight.
Chapter 28
When I get back to the house, Emma and Sainte are gone. Where did they go? I wonder, and then I remember that today is the day that they were going to Presque Isle. Wasn't I supposed to go with them? Yes, I was. They fucking left without me. All my anger floods back as I walk into the kitchen and throw my purse on the table. I can only imagine what they have been up to this afternoon.
"Whoa there darling, calm down," Hawk says from the doorway.
"Oh fuck! I didn't think anyone was home. You scared the shit out of me!" When did he get here?
He walks over and gives me a kiss on the cheek and says, "Sorry, love. I was in Ice's office getting some paperwork on the new clubhouse."
"Oh," I say.
"So what's got you all upset and where have you been?"
I hesitate at first, but then I remember that I promised myself that I would be honest with him. "I went to see Ice," I say.
"You did?"
"Yes."
"Can I ask why?" He's quite calm and it surprises me. I expected him to yell or something, but nothing.
"I wanted to talk to him about Sainte and Emma," I say.
"Honey, I told you to mind your own business where those two are concerned. Ice trusts him, therefore I trust him."
"But Hawk, you didn't see them this morning. They were snuggling on the fucking couch. I'm telling you, she's cheating on him!"
"Honey, Emma is not cheating on Ice."
"What makes you so sure?"
"Because I know Emma. She would never cheat on him."
Why can't he see what's right in front of his eyes? Why can't he see that this guy is bad news? Am I the only sane one around here? I shake my head. "Why won't you listen to me?"
"I am listening to you. I'm just telling you that you're wrong." He pauses and then asks, "Tell me, what did Ice say when you told him this?"
I look down at the floor. "He said he trusted Sainte and Emma, and that he had his reasons for having him here and that he stays."
"See? You shouldn't worry."
"But Hawk, they are always together and laughing together. You haven't seen it, but I see it all the time."
"Drop it, Honey."
"Drop it. Just like that, I'm supposed to drop it when I see that one of my dearest friends is getting screwed over."
"Dearest friend, is that what he is now?"
"Don't you dare! Don't you dare turn this on me, Hawk! We've discussed my relationship with Ice at great length. He's a friend and nothing more."
"Then it must be Sainte."
"What?" I ask, shocked.
"If it's not Ice that you want, then it must be Sainte."
"That's not true," I say defensively. But I immediately remember the kiss and I can feel my face flush. Fuck, he's gonna see right through me. My conscience quickly reminds me that I was going to tell him everything, but after that comment, I don't know if I can.
"Ok, if it's not true, then explain to me why seeing them together gets your panties in a twist."
"Because I believe they are hurting a friend."
"And that's it?"
"Yes."
"Well, let's nip this in the bud right now. You don't have to worry about Ice getting hurt anymore. I don't want to hear about this again."
"But …"
"No, Honey, this conversation is over." He grabs his keys and walks out.
Well, shit! That went well. Frustrated, I stomp upstairs. Why can't they see that this guy is up to no good like I do?
I spend most of the day in my room until I hear the front door closing. They're home. Maybe I should just give them both a piece of my mind and be done with it. Yeah, that's what I need to do. I leave my room and make my way down there stairs. I'm a woman on a mission—I'm gonna set them both straight. Yeah, you know what they say about the best-laid plans. I get to the bottom of the steps and the most adorable ball of fur greets me. Oh. My. God. Emma got a puppy. I can't resist. My anger completely dissipates as I stoop down and scoop the little guy (or girl) into my arms. "Oh my goodness, who are you?" I say to the pup, purposely ignoring Emma and Sainte.
"This is Hobbes! Isn't he the cutest?" Emma reaches over and pets the pup lovingly.
Now I have to acknowledge her. "Is he your dog?" I ask.
"Yes! Caden and I have been talking about getting a dog for a while now—well, since I found out I was pregnant—and so today, we got him!"
"Don't you think that should have been something that you and Ice did together?" I say. I can't hide my annoyance at the fact that she did this without him. I'm still holding Hobbes and I swear if he licks me one more time I am going to turn to mush and I won't care what Emma and Sainte have done.
"Oh, we went to see Caden first, and he insisted that we go and pick out a dog. He didn't want me to wait until he got out." She pauses and then says, "He said that you stopped by this morning."
"I did," I reply shortly. I'll be damned if I elaborate on that. What I went to see him about is none of her fucking business. I put the dog down and quickly change the subject, saying, "So what kind of dog is it?"
"He's an Alaskan Malamute, thirteen weeks old. I've been in contact with the Wolf Spirit Sled Dog rescue for a while now. I had been planning on getting a dog even before I found Caden again. Not long before I came to the club, they took in an expectant Mal mom and I have been just waiting for the pups to be born and to be ready for adoption. Nikki called this morning and said I could have the first pick of the litter. So when I told Caden about it, he couldn't refuse. He also knew I had been waiting."
"So he's gonna be big?" I ask.
"Yes, hopefully huge!" she says, laughing.
Through this whole conversation, Sainte has been watching me curiously. I hate the way he stares at me and I'm terrified that he's gonna spill about the kiss. Oddly enough, he doesn't utter a word. But his eyes on me are unnerving.
Chapter 29
The next couple of days are pure hell for me. I try my hardest to heed Ice and Hawk's words, but seeing Emma and Sainte together makes me tota
lly insane. I know I'm right about this; I just need to show Ice and Hawk so they will believe me. I've thought about going back to see Ice, but since it went so well the first time, I decide not to. I just don't know how to stop the train wreck that is about to happen.
My phone buzzes and I look down and see that it is Hawk. We haven't spoken much the last couple of days, ever since he yelled at me. I was hoping that after our "lunch" together that he would stay here with me or invite me to his place to stay, but he hasn't. "Hey there," I answer.
"Hey, Honey," he says into the phone.
Wow, I don't even get a babe. He's still mad at me. Part of me understands why, but fuck, it's not like I cheated on him or something.
Ok, I did, but he doesn't know that. Suddenly I feel like shit. I've been lying to him and I promised myself that I would not do that.
Just as I'm about to say something, he adds, "Vince is back in town. Got in late last night. I know he's been down at the jail most of the morning and he has a meeting with the District Attorney who is prosecuting Ice's case this afternoon. I've invited him over for dinner."
Well shit, he doesn't even ask. "Ok, of course." I pause and then add, "Will you be joining us as well?"
"Yeah. I have a feeling that he's got big news, so I'm inviting some of the other club members too."
"Ok. I'll have to run to the store, but I’ll make sure we have something nice."
"Send Sainte," he says.
"But what about Emma?" I ask.
"Fuck, have him take her with him," he says and then adds, "I gotta run. See you tonight?"
He's softened a little, which gives me hope that his anger has subsided. "Yep, I'll do you proud," I say.
"You always do, babe. You always do," he says and then disconnects the line.
I make my way down to the kitchen to see what I have and what I need. What the hell should I make? It's still early, so I hadn't even given dinner a thought yet. When I get to the kitchen, Sainte is rummaging through the fridge. "Looking for something?" I say coldly.
"Yeah. Are we outta beer?" he asks.
"Isn't it a little early for beer?" I ask.
"Feisty Pants, it's never too early for an ice-cold beer," he says smoothly.
I think it's his cockiness that angers me more than anything. Yes, he's gorgeous, but so is Ice, and he's not half as cocky as Sainte. But he's not Ice! my subconscious quickly reminds me. No, he definitely is not. As I stare at him, my cheeks flush as memories of our kiss fill my head. I quickly turn away from him and say, "I'm just getting a grocery list together. I'll be sure to add beer. Any particular kind?" Holy shit, why am I being nice to him?
"Something dark would be good," he says.
I nod. "Hawk called a few minutes ago and said that Vince is back in town. Said he's coming for dinner tonight and that I should send you to the store if I need anything." I really hate asking him to do something for me, but Hawk and I both know that I don't have time to grocery shop and prepare dinner too.
"Sure, Feisty Pants. Anything for the woman that kisses like a cat in heat," he says, and now I know my cheeks are flushed. I immediately look around the kitchen to see if anyone heard and realize that we are alone. He adds, "Don't worry, your secret is still safe. Emma is upstairs napping and Ari and Rebel are down at the lake.” He moves in close and says, "You got me all to yourself, babe." He pauses and then says, "So, how ‘bout it?"
I quickly push him away and say, "Fuck you! That kiss was a momentary lapse in judgment. I will never kiss you again." When he stands there without saying a word, I continue, "And if you think that kiss left any lingering effect on me, well I got news for you, asshole—it didn't!"
He laughs out loud, which only pisses me off more. First Ice, then Hawk, and now this douchebag. I'm really getting sick of the men in my life laughing at me all the time.
As I walk away, he grabs me by the wrist and pulls me toward him, twisting my arm behind me and holding it at the small of my back. He's got me restrained so close to him, but I refuse to look at him. "Look at me," he demands. I want to ignore his request, but he's so fucking dominant that I can't help but listen. I really hate that about him.
I reluctantly do what he says. As I turn my face up toward his, he says, "Get this straight, Feisty Pants. You will kiss me again, and I guarantee that one day real soon you will be in my bed." He takes his free hand and caresses my cheek. "I don't know why you're fighting this, darling," he looks down at my boots and continues, "because we're gonna be knocking boots before you know it." I'm breathless from his words; even though my mind is saying no, no, no, my libido is screaming yes, yes, yes. My fucking body betrays me every time he's close and it makes me so damn mad at him and myself.
He releases my arm and I step away from him. Catching my breath, I finally get my wits about me. "You know what I guarantee, Sainte?" I get in his face and say, "It will be a cold day in hell before that ever happens." I turn to walk out of the kitchen and then say back to him, "I'll have a grocery list to you shortly." As I walk away I can hear him chuckle quietly. Asshole!
It turned out that I only needed a few things for dinner, so when Emma woke up from her nap, she and Sainte went to the store. They got back a few minutes ago.
"Hey Honey, need any help?" Emma asks as she walks into the kitchen, Sainte following closely behind her. What is with him, he’s always fucking with her. He's like a damn puppy dog following her around. And speaking of puppies, she's got Hobbes snuggled in her arms.
"Nope, I've got it all under control, Emma, thanks," I reply as I walk over and pet the dog. He really is a cutie. It doesn't matter how mad I am, when I see his adorable face I melt and all the anger goes with it. Damn pup!
She puts Hobbes in my arms and he begins to lick my face. Yep, damn pup. I can't help but giggle as he squirms in my arms. Emma walks over to his food bowl, picks it up and proceeds to feed the little guy. He watches her curiously, patiently waiting for his dinner. I catch a glimpse of Sainte out of the corner of my eye and find him staring as usual. But this is different. Usually when he stares it is predatory, animalistic, and downright arousing. But this time his smile is soft and not sinister. He has a twinkle in his eye; it's like looking into a crystal ball and seeing a softer side of the man that makes me insane.
I give him my best "I'm on to you" look and he smirks. Emma comes back and takes Hobbes from my arms and brings him to his food bowl. Sainte walks over to me and leans in close, then says, "Chemistry," and walks out of the room. That's all he has to say and that one word pisses me off more than anything because I know he's right. I really hate it when he's right!
Just as I'm finishing up dinner, in walk Hawk and Vince. They’re the last ones to arrive. Ari and Rebel returned a little bit ago. Rebel is definitely healing and thanks to nurse Ari, he's getting stronger every day. Ryder, Spike, and Doc arrived right before Hawk and they are now sitting in the living room with Ari and Rebel. Emma and Sainte took Hobbes for a short walk.
When Emma and Sainte return, we all take our seats at the table. Everyone is busy getting their food and making small talk. Hawk politely interrupts and says, "I'm sure you all are wondering why I arranged for this family dinner." The guys look around curiously and nod. "Well, Vince here has some good news and I want him to share it with you all." He looks over at Vince and says, "Vince?"
"Thanks, Hawk. Well, as you all know, I have been spending a lot of time on Ice's case and I am happy to report that they are dropping the charges. No body, no weapon, no evidence, except for Russo's accusation. Frankly, I don't even know why they arrested him in the first place with what they had. Russo must have some pull in this town. But anyway, the good news is that he should be home in a couple of days, once all the paperwork is filed."
The guys cheer and I am surprised to see the relief on Emma's face. I actually thought she would be disappointed. Having Ice back will definitely infringe on her Sainte time.
I am over the moon that Ice is coming home. This club needs him. He's t
he glue that holds everything together. Although Hawk does a good job at the helm, I just feel that we are all lost and wandering without Ice.
"And, I have another announcement," Hawk adds. "The Vitalis have invited us to New York for Michael Vitali's Omerta."
"What the fuck is an Omerta?" Spike asks.
Vince laughs and says, "Omerta is a code that Italian families in our business hold very dear. It's a code of silence, especially when dealing with the law." He chuckles and says, "I'm sure you all know what I mean." They guys laugh. He then continues, "But in this case, the Vitalis use the Omerta as a rite of passage as well. Domenic, the current Don, is retiring and Michael, his eldest son, is taking over the family. So, we do it the only way we know how, with a party."
I can see the irritation on Hawk’s face and I know why. This is a little too much information with us ladies being present. Before Vince continues, Hawk speaks up and says, “I think that is enough, Vince. We don’t discuss business with the ladies.”
“Oh hell, I’m sorry, Hawk. I wasn’t thinking,” Vince replies.
Before they can say more, I chime in and ask, "We're all going?"
Hawk says, "Not everyone. I need some of the boys to hang back and keep a handle on things. Spike, I want you to plan on going. Doc assures me that Rebel should be able to ride in a couple of days, so Rebel and Ari, you both will be going." He looks over at me and says, "Of course, you will be riding with me. So ladies, make sure you are prepared for a couple of days on the road."
Well, I was not expecting to be included, but I think it will be nice to get away for a bit. And, hopefully, Sainte will not return with us and crawl back into his hole in New York. It will also give Hawk and I some time together. Ever since our argument the other day, things have been strained between us and it concerns me.
Chapter 30
Things are starting to look up. Ice is coming home. Sainte is leaving. Rebel is healed. Finally, we will get things back to normal and I, for one, am thrilled. The last few weeks have been awful.