by Karen Lynch
It was barely ten o’clock, yet the building was quiet as we made our way to my room. “They’re outside, cleaning up,” Nikolas explained when I commented on the empty halls. I shuddered at the grisly job the warriors had ahead of them, disposing of all those bodies and collecting our dead. In addition to Olivia and Mark, we had lost three warriors tonight, and their friends were out there right now clearing the battlefield instead of mourning their loss. God, I just wanted this horrible night to be over.
“You’re sure you would not feel better staying with Nate tonight?” Nikolas asked as we climbed the stairs to my floor.
I want to stay with you. I wished I could say the words, but I didn’t want to sound needy or for him to take it the wrong way. Besides, he was probably going to be busy tonight and he didn’t need to be distracted by me.
I shook my head. “I’m sure.”
At my door, I turned to face him. I swallowed and raised my eyes to meet his, hoping he wouldn’t see how close I was to coming apart.
“You were amazing tonight.”
“Really?” I searched his face for some sign he was patronizing me, but I saw only pride.
“The whole time I was out there, all I could think about was getting to you. And then I find you standing in the middle of it all, surrounded by bodies. I heard what you did. Don’t ever tell me again that you’re not a warrior.”
“I did have a lot of help,” I said, flushed with pleasure at his praise. It was the first time he had acknowledged my ability to take care of myself, and I was going to remember this moment for a long time. “I was worried about you, too.”
His expression was impossible to read and my breath caught when he took a step toward me. He opened his mouth as to say something but changed his mind. Tenderly, he brushed my hair back from my face, his fingers grazing my cheek. “Try to get some sleep.”
“I will,” I breathed. I entered my room and closed the door behind me, then leaned against it, wondering if he was still out there. After a few minutes, I realized I would have sensed him if he was that close. Shaking my head at my own foolishness, I went to shower off all the battle grime clinging to me.
I was trembling from fatigue when I emerged from the bathroom and fell onto the bed without bothering to turn off the lamp. But though my body was spent, my mind refused to shut down, and it kept replaying every horrific detail of the night when I closed my eyes. After thirty minutes of torture, I grabbed the quilt off the bed and curled up on the couch, flicking through TV channels for anything to distract me. I settled on an English comedy even though I was too tired to try to make out what they were saying.
But even the show’s raucous laughter could not keep the dark thoughts away for long, and I found myself thinking about Michael, who had looked so young and innocent in the medical ward. How was it that no one had seen how delusional and desperate he was until it was too late? We had some of the best technology and medicine in the world, yet we had failed to help one troubled boy. In the short time I’d known Michael I had seen how obsessed he was with finding his brother. It was the same obsession I’d seen in myself when I’d searched for my dad’s killer. I wished I had said something to Tristan about him. Even though Michael had betrayed me in the worst way, all I wanted to do was cry for the wasted life of the boy I had believed was my friend.
My chest constricted painfully when I let myself think about Olivia and Mark. Olivia had been so animated compared to Mark’s quieter personality, but they had been happy together. The two of them were orphans, but unlike me, they had no other family but each other. And now they were gone. They were dead because of me. I should not be here safe with the people I loved while Olivia and Mark lay on cold slabs in the morgue.
I buried my face in the quilt to smother my sobs. I didn’t hear the door open or realize I was no longer alone until the couch dipped beside me. I went blindly into Nikolas’s arms and pressed my face against his soft sweater.
“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t bear all these people getting hurt because of me.”
“None of this was your fault,” he said against my hair. “No one expected the vampires to try something like this. If you have to blame anyone, blame me. I promised you and Nate that you would be safe here.”
“I can’t blame you.” Since the day we met, Nikolas had done everything in his power to protect me. He might choose to ignore the truth, but my conscience would not let me forget so easily. And the truth was this started the night I decided to meet a stranger at the Attic to get answers about my dad. Before that night, Eli and his Master had no idea where or what I really was. Since then, Roland, Peter, and Nate had all been hurt in attempts to get to me. How long would it be before one of them met a worst fate?
“You all could have died tonight,” I said, hiccupping loudly. “I couldn’t bear it if . . . ”
Nikolas wrapped his arms tighter around me. “Nothing will happen to us. Now that we know the lengths this vampire will go to, we will step up security and put every resource we have into finding him. I will never let them take you. That is one promise I will take to my grave.”
“Don’t say that.” I shuddered at the thought of him dying, and the cold realization hit me that he would willingly give up his life to protect me. I would not let him die for me.
The more time that passed, the bolder this Master became. He was never going to stop, and eventually someone I loved would pay the ultimate price. I could not sit back and let that happen. It was time to make some hard decisions and to stop hiding like a frightened rabbit, waiting for the predator to strike.
Nikolas rubbed my back through the quilt. For the first time since I entered the woods with Michael, I felt sheltered and warm. Westhorne was supposed to be my refuge, but tonight had shattered that illusion and opened my eyes to the truth. The only time I felt truly safe was with Nikolas.
He had never wavered or weakened once in the months I’d known him, no matter what danger he faced or how much I’d tried to push him away. When I needed a trainer and a friend he was there. When I thought I’d lost Nate, he was my strength. He sent for Roland and Peter because he knew how much I needed them. He had been patient and put his own feelings aside when I was confused and afraid. He was a warrior in the very best sense of the word.
His hand stilled. “Feel better?” I nodded, and he loosened his embrace.
“Would you . . . stay just a little longer?” I asked when he began to pull away. Tomorrow, I would be strong. Tonight, all I wanted was to feel his arms around me.
“I’ll be here as long as you need me.” He tugged on the quilt that had fallen off my shoulders, pulling it over both of us. Then he moved us until he reclined against the cushioned armrest with me lying against him. Cocooned in his arms with his heart beating beneath my hand, I felt a sense of wholeness and belonging unlike anything I had ever known. It was incredible and wonderful and a little frightening to care so deeply for another person, especially with a monster out there determined to take everyone I loved from me.
I love you. The words hovered on my lips, but something held me back from saying them out loud. I didn’t know if it was fear of laying my heart out there or a need to savor these new feelings a little longer before I shared them.
His hand came up to stroke my hair. “Go to sleep, moy malen’kiy voin. You’ve earned it.”
“You’re always saying stuff in Russian,” I murmured. “What did you just say?”
He chuckled. “It means ‘my little warrior.’”
“I’m not that little,” I retorted then yawned, unable to keep my eyes open. “You’re my warrior, too.” I felt his arms tighten around me as sleep finally claimed me.
Chapter 25
I STOOD ON the riverbank and stared at the tumbling water without really seeing it. The weak December sun did little to dispel the bite in the air, and I pulled the collar of my warm coat up to cover my ears. It was too cold to be standing outside like this, but I couldn’t spend another minute inside with ever
yone talking about last night. And I couldn’t walk around the grounds without seeing the red splotches of snow and other evidence of the battle that took place here.
Was it really less than sixteen hours ago that Jordan and I dragged ourselves from the river at this very spot? I looked down at the sloping bank and saw the gouges in the frozen dirt and the places where our hands had found purchase as we’d pulled our freezing, wet bodies over the top of the bank. Directly below me on the rocky shore was where Feeorin and Fiannar had sprung from the river and saved us from a horrible fate.
In the light of day it was hard to imagine the terrible events of less than a day ago. But I would never forget them. I’d never forget Olivia and Mark and the three warriors who lost their lives here last night. No one was saying it, but everyone knew the attack was an attempt to get to me. No matter what Nikolas had said last night, my conscience felt the weight of those five lost lives.
I hadn’t seen Jordan yet today, and she wouldn’t answer when I’d knocked at her door. I’d left her alone to grieve for Olivia and Mark, knowing there was nothing I could do to ease her pain. Jordan acted tough all the time, but she had a good heart. She had not only lost two friends, she’d watched one of them die. You’d have to have a heart of stone to not be affected by that.
Movement in the water caught my eye, and I saw Feeorin’s head break the surface. The kelpie watched me with his big black eyes, and I smiled wanly at him.
“Thank you,” I called to him. A second later, he disappeared from sight.
“Who are you talking to, little one?”
I turned to smile at Desmund as he strode toward me. The warrior’s transformation was astounding. I might have helped heal him, but the battle last night had awakened something in him, a fire that had burned low a long time ago. He walked with a strong, confident swagger, and his eyes seemed to be lit from within. If a guy could be breathtaking, Desmund was in that moment.
“Would you believe me if I said I was talking to a kelpie?”
Desmund reached me and smiled down at me. It was funny that I had never realized how tall he was. Or maybe he was just holding himself taller now.
“I would believe anything you say.” He took one of my hands and rubbed it between his warmer ones. “Why are you out here alone in the cold?”
I shrugged. “I just needed some fresh air.”
“And room to breathe,” he added knowingly, and I nodded. “You have many people who care for you, Sara. You cannot fault them for worrying about you after last night.”
“I don’t. I just can’t stop thinking that all of you could have died.” I pressed my lips together to contain the emotions simmering just below the surface today.
“I’ll have none of that,” he declared sternly. Tilting my chin, he forced me to look at him. “It does no good to go back and worry over what did and did not happen. Warriors die. It is a part of life and you cannot save everyone.”
I pulled away scowling. “I think I liked you better when you were trying to throw me out of the library.”
Two weeks ago, he would have been insulted by that remark. Now he merely chuckled. “You should have thought of that before you fixed me.”
“How do you . . . ?”
“I began to improve after I met you. I was too ill at first to make the connection, but when Tristan started to remark upon my improved health I knew it had to be you. He and I talked when you were ill, and he said you had healed me but he didn’t know how.” His eyes seemed distant for a moment before they focused on me again. “I saw you with that witch last night. He was afraid of you. I have never seen a Hale witch fear anyone.”
“He’s just a kid and his magic is not very strong, not like the one – ”
“The one who attacked me?” he finished for me.
“I was going to say ‘the one who attacked me,’” I corrected him, and his eyes widened. “I had a run-in with my first Hale witch a few months ago and got a taste of their magic.” I described my encounter with the witch, and I saw the pain in his eyes. No one who had not experienced such an attack could ever understand how it felt. That was one thing Desmund and I would share for the rest of our lives.
“I felt the sickness in you, but I didn’t know what it was until Tristan told me what had happened to you. That was when I knew I had to try to help you, even if I failed.”
“But when and how did you heal me?”
I stamped my feet to warm them. “When I sat beside you at the piano I pulled the magic from you into me. It was pretty nasty stuff. Please, don’t ask me to explain how I did it. It took a couple of times to get it all.”
He looked away for a long moment, and his eyes were troubled when they met mine again. “I was not very nice to you in the beginning. Why would you put yourself through that for me?”
It stung a little that he questioned my motives, but he had spent a century pushing people away and it would probably take him a little while to get used to relationships again. “Because you’re my friend, Desmund.”
He pulled me toward him and gave me a tender hug. “You will always have my friendship, little one.” Leaning back, he grinned devilishly. “Nikolas will come and toss me in the river if I hold you like this much longer.”
“But you’re gay. Surely, Nikolas knows nothing is going on between us.”
“That does not matter to a bonded male. He will not like to see another male embrace his mate . . . or his mate-to-be. As much as it pains me to say it, he is a good man. I am happy for you.”
“Thanks.” I blushed and looked away. I hadn’t seen Nikolas since I fell asleep in his arms last night. He was gone when I awoke this morning, but sometime during the night he had carried me to my bed. The indentation on the pillow and my dreamless sleep were evidence that he had stayed with me all night.
“Nikolas isn’t even here.” I glanced around the grounds to be sure, and he was nowhere in sight. I assumed he was working with Tristan to get things in order today.
Desmund laughed like I had made a joke. “You do not see him, but he is watching over you, trust me. After last night, I cannot blame him.” He took my arm and began walking us back to the main building. “I need a brandy, and you need a warm fire. What do you say to a game of draughts?”
My head was too full to concentrate on checkers. “Would you play the piano for me instead?”
He gave my arm a little squeeze. “It would be my pleasure.”
* * *
“Sahir, you’re awake.” I ran to his hospital bed, and he lifted a hand to take mine. “I was so worried about you when they brought you in here last night.” I’d come by to check on him first thing this morning and the healers told me he was still out from the drugs they’d given him. They said the effects should wear off in a few hours.
He let out a small laugh then winced. “Based on how I feel right now, I can only imagine what kind of shape I was in. Last thing I remember is opening the cages and then getting ambushed by a couple of vampires.”
“Alex saved your life, did you know that?” His eyes widened, and he shook his head. I told him what Terrence had said about the burnt vampire bodies they’d found next to Sahir. “He and Minuet and the hounds saved us, too. If you hadn’t let them out, a lot more of us would be dead.” I’d found out that the roars and screams I heard from the other side of the grounds last night were from Alex and the hellhounds mowing down every vampire in their way as they tried to get to me.
“I thought those hounds of yours were going to tear their cage apart. I think they heard the vampires before I did. As soon as I realized we were under attack, I knew they would find you. I don’t know what possessed me to release Alex, but I’m glad I did.” He smiled weakly. “I told you wyverns love to hunt vampires.”
“He looked like he was having fun. Minuet and the hounds came back this morning, but there’s been no sign of Alex. I hope he doesn’t hurt anyone.”
Sahir coughed, and I handed him a glass of water from the table near the bed.
After he’d taken a long drink he leaned back with a groan. With the severe injuries he’d sustained, it was going to take him another day to get back on his feet. Still, it was miraculous that he was awake and sitting up already.
“I hear they’ve already sent a team to find him, and then they are going to send him to Argentina.”
I nodded wistfully. “You know, I think I’m actually going to miss him.”
“Sara,” Tristan called from the doorway, and I turned to look at him. His expression was serious and it spoke of the weight on his shoulders today. I was pretty sure he had slept very little since the attack, and he had no intention of resting until every detail of last night was uncovered. “Michael is awake. I am going to talk to him, but he’s asking to see you. You don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want to.”
I thought about the urgent email from David I’d read this morning, the email I’d received last night but not read because Michael had come to get me before I had the chance to open it. Do not trust this Michael kid. He’s been talking to vampires online for at least a month.
My chest constricted every time I replayed the words in my head. If I’d gotten the email one minute earlier, if Michael had shown up a minute later, we never would have been led into the trap. I would have gone to Tristan and Nikolas and told them about Michael, and the attack might have been averted. Olivia and Mark and the fallen warriors would still be alive.
Misunderstanding my hesitation, Tristan nodded and started to turn away. “No, I want to.” I knew Michael’s motive for betraying us, but I wanted to hear what he had to say to me. Maybe it could help me understand how I had been so deceived by someone I’d believed was my friend.
I told Sahir I’d see him later. Then I followed Tristan to a room with a guard standing outside. When we stepped inside, I saw Nikolas standing near the door and Celine sitting in a chair not far from him. Nikolas’s angry expression made it clear he was not happy about me talking to Michael, but he wasn’t going to try to stop me.